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Logan




It had been four days. Hermione was currently sitting at her kitchen table, Logan on her left coloring quietly, and Chase’s parents sat across the table from her, Logan’s grandparents. Remus was off with his parents. The funeral had been for the family yesterday and today they were discussing Logan. Hermione sighed and glanced down at the little boy who was drawing quietly, she had nearly had a heart attack the other day when she couldn’t find him at the funeral.

Remus had later found him when she started panicking, under a table in another room. He had understood what was going on fairly well. She shook her thoughts away and turned to the matter at hand. “I’ve been given the next two weeks off from work,” She said and Chase’s mother Anna nodded, his father Hugo nodded as well. “Uhm, so you have no problem taking him during the full moons?” Hermione asked hesitantly. They had taken the news to Remus’ lycanthropy very well, something which she was glad for.

“Of course dear. One of us will be here to pick him and drop him off since you will be with the Lupins.” Anna said, smiling softly. Hermione nodded silently.

“Now, I know you said you would like to see him once a week, what day would be best for you?” Hermione asked folding her hands on the table to keep them from wringing nervously.

The two of them looked at each other and Hugo spoke up. “Sunday would be best. We normally visited them on Sundays.” He said and Anna nodded sadly.

“Okay, that’s fine. Normally Remus and I spend Sunday’s together, so it works out.” Hermione said with a small smile. They were silent for a few minutes, each sipping their tea at times. “I actually have another question for you. How would you feel about him attending a muggle primary school?” Both Hugo and Anna looked slightly shocked but Anna spoke up.

“Why a muggle school? Why not a wizarding daycare, he is a wizard after all.”

“Yes, he is, there is no doubt about that, I’ve seen his magic, but it seems he’s got good enough control over it that I think he would do well among muggle children. Remus and I don’t have enough money for a tutor, since I know most wizarding children get tutored before they go to Hogwarts. Besides, we’ve had a long conversation about it, and we both agree that getting him out of the wizarding world for a little while would be best for him.” She said softly.

Hugo nodded. “I agree.” He said sitting forward, his wife gave him a surprised glance. “With all that has gone on in the past few months he’s not the same.” He said quietly, but Logan wasn’t paying attention, just drawing with his crayons. Hermione instinctively reached out and ran her fingers through his golden curls. “I think it would be a good idea, and you and Remus live like muggles, so it will be good for him. Chase and Cameron didn’t so much, so he’s not used to a lot, but it’s always good, especially with this War going on.” He said and Hermione nodded, dropping her hand to her side.

“Alright.” Anna said softly. “He’ll go a muggle school, until he gets his Hogwarts letter.” She said and Hermione smiled and nodded, and Logan shifted a little closer to her, taking her hand that was on her lap.

 

            Hermione woke up at the same time she did every morning. She wasn’t upset that she couldn’t sleep in, she would have welcomed it, but wished she could sleep a bit more. She rolled over and was thankful that Remus was still asleep. He had been having nightmares all week, and it wasn’t pleasant. But what she was surprised about was that Logan was fast asleep on Remus’ chest, the blankets pulled up over them both.

When had he come in? She didn’t know, and wondered why Remus hadn’t woken her if he was upset. She slowly got up from the bed and slipped on her robe, and she heard Remus shift slightly. She looked back and found him watching her. She went to his side and leaned down and kissed his forehead, smoothing back his hair. “Go back to sleep.” She whispered in his ear. “It’s still early.”

“Will you stay?” He asked, his voice hoarse with sleep. Hermione flinched at his words and shook her head, he frowned.

“You need sleep, and I’ll just disturb you, you know I can’t lay still long enough.” She said softly, and he sighed but closed his eyes, a small smile creeping onto his lips. The first hint of a smile she’d seen in almost two weeks.

“Alright, but I hear someone downstairs, it sounds like Sirius.” He said and Hermione nodded, kissing his forehead again before she left the room.

When she got down to the kitchen she found not only Sirius, but James as well. He looked nearly as bad as Remus, pale, bloodshot eyes, dark bags under his eyes. James looked a bit skinnier as well. As soon as she stepped into the kitchen James rose and gathered her into his arms, squeezing her tightly. “Is something wrong? What happened? Is Lily alright?” She asked when James pulled away and she glanced over at Sirius who was leaning against the counter.

“Everything is fine.” Sirius said and James nodded.

“I just got back last night and heard the news.” He said running a hand through his hair. “How is he?” He asked. Hermione shrugged and moved passed James into her kitchen and went to pour herself a cup of coffee, Sirius must have made a pot.

“He’s doing better. He smiled this morning. A little bit anyway, first one since it happened.” She said and leaned against the counter next to Sirius.

“Sirius said you’ve got their little boy?” James said sitting back down at the table, Hermione nodded before taking a sip of her tea.

“Logan. Yes. He’s living with us now.” She whispered and James nodded, Sirius placed his arm around and pulled her close to his side, kissing her forehead, comforting her.

“How do you feel about it?” James asked, and his question shocked her. No one had asked that at all, not even Sirius, he had mentioned something along those lines but he hadn’t asked.

She silent for a good five minutes before answering him, the two of them waited quietly, “I don’t know.” She said softly. “He’s good, but he’s also troubled, and Remus and I are working on that. But it’s hard. We’re not even in our twenties or married, and it feels like we’re thirty and have been through hell and back again. We’re only 19 and we’re taking care of a three year old boy whose parents and siblings have just died. It’s hard.” She was silent for a moment before she spoke up very quietly. “Please don’t tell Remus, he doesn’t know I feel this way.” She said softly. Both men nodded at her and moved about to start breakfast as they heard a pair of feet hit the ground and run for the stairs.

 

            “Hermione I have no problem with you bringing Logan with you to the wedding.” Alice said, her and Frank would be getting married in two weeks and Hermione didn’t want to leave him alone, or with either set of grandparents.

“Thank you Alice. It means a lot.” Hermione said smiling in relief. She was out to lunch with Alice, and Lily, the three of them had taken a lunch break together. Normally they had lunch together every week, but lately that had been a problem with Hermione trying to get in a minimum number of hours before quickly going home to Logan and Remus. “He’s very quiet, so he should be no problem.”

“So, how is it going?” Lily asked softly, giving Hermione a look from over her tea cup. Hermione shrugged and took a small bite of her sandwich.

“Alright I suppose.” She said quietly after she finished chewing. “He’s good, quiet though, which is to be expected. But I’ve talked to a number of Healers, mainly the ones in the pediatric section and they all agree that he is too young to go into counseling and all he needs is some time to get used to the fact that they aren’t coming back.” She sighed and paused, running her hand over her face. “He didn’t see anything traumatic, so that’s very good, I’m sure he heard things, but he didn’t witness anything.”

Lily and Alice both nodded and Lily frowned before asking, “What about you and Remus? You don’t look too good, too much stress.”

Hermione shook her head. “I’m stressed out, yes, but it’s fine, I’ve dealt with worse, and as for not looking good, it was the full moon a few days ago, so being worried about Remus kept me up all night.” She said softly, and Lily nodded. Alice and Frank had just been inducted into the Order not too long ago and had learned of Remus’ lycanthropy. Hermione was pleased at how well they had taken it. Alice had been easy going and Frank had passed his nervousness off with a joke, which was just like him.

“What about other things, the two of you just got the cottage, so it must be nice. What about sex? How’s that?” Lily asked leaning forward a bit, and Alice shot her a surprised glance.

“Lily!” Alice whispered in surprise and Lily waved her hand in a passive fashion at Alice.

“Please Alice, they have a great sex life.” Lily said and Hermione blushed and glanced at Alice who gawked at the two of them.

“Never thought Remus was like that did you?” Hermione asked laughing softly as Alice shook her head.

“Well I knew he liked to cuddle with you… that much was obvious… but…” She said as she trailed off, turning pink in the cheeks.

“It’s fine, around the full moon he gets… aroused very easily.” Hermione said shrugging, and turned to Lily. “It’s been a month.”

“What!?” Lily said, leaning back in shock. “You’re kidding? Even with the full moon just days ago? Nothing?” She said and Hermione shook her head.

“He hasn’t touched me. I don’t know if it is grief or just… I don’t know… and I haven’t started anything…he’s not…” She said and trailed of with a shrug and reached for her tea and took a sip of it.

“Well then. I’m sorry.” Lily said with an awkward smile.

“It’s fine, it doesn’t help that Logan ends up in our bed every night.” Hermione whispered with another shrug, aware of the glances the girls were giving her. Whether they were sympathetic or worried she didn’t know.

 

            Hermione was at home standing in front of the stove watching Logan color at the table out of the corner of her eye. She heard the back door open and glanced up to see Remus walk in, he took off his shoes and hung up his coat. He walked into the kitchen and smiled at her as he walked towards Logan and kissed the top of his head. Logan smiled up at him before returning to his coloring.

Hermione thought Remus had walked by her but was surprised when she felt his arms wrap around her waist and his breath hot on the back of her neck. He pressed his face against the back of her neck and she felt a chill run down her spine as his cold skin pressed against her warm skin. He must have gone for a walk before coming home, she figured, since it was getting colder out.

He kissed the back of her neck before glancing over her shoulder to see what she was cooking. “James told me something interesting today, something Lily said.” He murmured, and Hermione tensed underneath his touch. Had she mentioned the no sex? That had only been a few hours ago, and Remus hadn’t even so much as placed his hand on the small of her back for weeks let along kiss her, and now he was being Mr. Cuddly? “About work.” He said and pulled away from her, his fingertips burning lines against her skin as they slowly pulled away from her.

“W-work?” She asked hesitantly stirring the stew that brewing in front of her as he leaned against the counter next to the stove.

“Yes, work. Lily told James she is worried about you, you’ve only been working the minimum number of hours lately, skipping you’re lunch and breaks.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest. If it was possible Hermione tensed even more and looked away from him.

He reached out and grabbed her chin, tilting her head towards him. “I thought we talked about this?” He whispered and Hermione pushed his hand away from her chin and looked away from him again.

“We did. I am not quitting, it has taken me a long time to get where I am there, and if I quit now, I’ll have to start all over again when and if I go back. We need the money Remus, since you won’t touch what is in your parents vault.”

“I never said you had to quit.” He said softly and she lifted her eyes to his.

“No, but you suggested it. It was an underlying hint, but it was there.” She said and moved away from the stove, setting the spoon on the counter as she moved to the sink to wash her hands. They were silent for some time with Remus watching her as she moved around the kitchen, he hadn’t moved from his spot.

“Hermione, talk to me.” He whispered so softly she almost thought she hadn’t heard it, and she stopped from taking down bowls to set the table with to turn and look at him. “Please.” He pleaded, his eyes giving her a helpless look.

“I can’t do this Remus. I can’t stand having Logan not near me when I’m at work. He’s not playing with the other children, and he’s too quiet. I can’t quit, and you know that. My work means a lot to me, but so does Logan, and trying to jumble the Order along with it all, it’s hard. It’s exhausting, and worrying about you-“ She said and he interrupted her.

“You don’t have to worry about me.” He said and her eyes narrowed in anger at him.

“Oh really?” She snapped. “I thought that’s what people who love each do. Or am I wrong?” She snarled, her voice raising. “I can’t believe you.” She whispered and turned to busy herself again, trying hard to ignore him. He reached out to her and as his fingers grazed her arm she whirled around in anger and slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” She snarled, “I’m so tired of feeling like I’m thirty years old and the world is ending.” She whispered, looking down at the floor.

“What do you want me to do Hermione, I can’t help this…” he said, his voice rising in anger.

“You could act like yourself again!” She cried, her head snapping up so she could look at him. “I know you just lost your sister and if it weren’t for my meddling you wouldn’t have gotten close to them again, and the pain wouldn’t be so much. But didn’t you ever think about my feelings? I got to know them just as well as you did. They were my family too Remus, and now they are gone and we are left to care for their son. We aren’t even twenty years old yet and it already seems like we are being pushed to our limit!” She cried, her voice rising until she was practically yelling, tears welling up in her eyes. “You’re just- I-“ She said and turned around furiously and stopped when she saw the table was empty, Logan was gone. “Logan?” She said and hurried to the Common Room.

She looked around franticly and found him behind the couch, she scooped him up into her arms and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry I was yelling.” She whispered, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Logan wrapped his arms around her neck and pressed his face against it as she sat down, rocking him gently while she glanced up and shot a glare at Remus who was watching from the doorway.

 

            A few hours later Remus was seated on their bed, and he heard Hermione and Logan walking down the hallway from the bathroom. He could smell the soap from Logan’s bath. He looked up when the sound of their footsteps stopped, they were in front of his bedroom door, Hermione standing there, holding Logan’s hand, as he stood in his pajamas.

“Go say goodnight to your Uncle.” She said and let go of his hand, Logan toddled into the room and Remus opened his arms to the boy, hugging him tightly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Good night Logan. I love you.” He whispered and Logan smiled at him before going back to Hermione who steered him to his room across the hall. She returned a few minutes later and Remus looked up at her. “No story?” He said, raising an eyebrow.

She shook her head, “No, he was out after I tucked him in.” She said and moved to go to her dresser but Remus stopped her by holding out his hand. She looked at it hesitantly and took it after a moment and allowed Remus to pull her close to him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked up at her, his eyes filled with sadness. “I’m sorry.” He murmured before burying his face in her stomach, his hands moving up the back of her shirt to run across her lower back and press against her skin in a way that made her go weak in the knees. He let out a whimper as she ran her hands through his hair and he turned his head up towards her, his chin still resting on her stomach.  

Remus reached up with one hand and pulled her down into a rough kiss. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes, “I’ve missed you so much.” She whispered as she sagged against him.

“I know.” He murmured and he pulled her back onto the bed, overtop of him.

 










Thank you so much to my reviewers and readers. I didn't expect that many reviews in such a short time. I can't thank you guys enough. Please review, they keep me going. :)

I'm sorry about this being a filler chapter, the next chapter will be more informational. I will be replying to comments some time tomorrow, well, later today I should say, since it is extremley late in the night.


All comments welcome.

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