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Edna made a triumphant little noise, sighed and shoved the thick pile of books off the bed letting them drop to the ground with a series of soft thuds. She stared at the messy pile for a moment before sighing again, rolling her eyes and climbing off her bed to sort the mess into a neat pile that she then delicately placed in the trunk at the end of her bed.

She had just finished every homework assignment up until next Thursday.

Amanda had watched this little display of OCD from her own bed a few feet away. “You are so, ridiculously anal.” She said softly, half amused and half irritated, as she went back to her own work.

“I am not anally retentive, Amanda, I just have superior organisation skills.” Edna replied loftily as she set about clearing away her mess – spare parchment, empty ink pots and quills. 

Amanda quirked an eyebrow but didn’t look up from her work as her quill scratched across the worn paper. Edna could tell the moment the other girl had finished her work because she finished off her sentence with a particular flourish to the full stop. “There, finished. Now could you explain exactly why you are trying to kill us through homework?”

Edna smiled and glanced at the clock on her bedside table; almost midnight. Nadia had finished her work half an hour ago and was slumbering with her head in a book on the other side of the room. Their other dorm mate had been unconscious for hours but occasionally woke and told the others to be quiet. 

It had been after dinner when the girls had gathered in their room and Edna had declared that they were going to finish every single work assignment they had so far that week right then and there. Nadia had giggled and grinned at the challenge but Amanda had cringed and pointed out that half of those essays didn’t have to be finished until the end of next week. 

In the end Edna had gotten her way – because, really, who can challenge a Ravenclaw’s ability to do homework and get away unscathed? – And now the three girls sat tiredly on their beds.

“Wake up Nadia, follow me.” Edna said quietly as she shot a glance toward Thelma Windsmore, who had begun to stir in her sleep again; Edna felt they should move their conversation into the common room so as to avoid reprimand.  

Nadia roused a little grumpily from her doze, they tiptoed downstairs into the large room and immediately trotted over to the fireplace, shivering around the bright flame. They sat on the floor, as closed to the warmth as they could after moving through the cold stairwell. They pulled a sofa and an armchair a little closer so that they could lean against them and Edna pulled a cushion from the armchair into her lap. 

“Now explain.” Amanda said in a tone of finality. She’d had enough of being fobbed off and now fully intended to get to the bottom of Edna’s odd behaviour.

“We are going to start…” Edna paused for dramatic effect. “A new club!”

“Another homework club?” Nadia asked, suddenly bright eyed and bushy tailed at the thought. 

“No, Nads, don’t you think we have enough of those?” Edna asked with an exasperated sigh.

Oh Good Lord. She thought a second later. I’ve just committed homework  treason.

Sure enough her friends were gaping back at her in shock. 

“Enough homework clubs?” Amanda stammered out. “How can there be enough homework clubs? We don’t have a homework club on a Tuesday or a Thursday-”

“Or a Saturday!” Nadia interjected.

“-how can there be enough? What if someone wants some help with their homework on a Thursday Edna? What will they do? There is no homework club!

“I know! I know, I know. I’m sorry; of course that isn’t what I meant! The homework clubs are vital! Pivotal! They are central to our very lives!” Edna said quickly trying to sooth the situation as best she could. Her friends looked a little mollified so she continued. “I just meant; don’t you ever get bored-”


“-of…what? You don’t even know what I was going to say! I just mean don’t you get tired of-”


“But everything is always-


“Amanda, would you stop disagreeing and just listen, you infuriating witch!” Edna declared, frustrated. The urge to bludgeon her friend over the head with a book was quite strong.

Calm  yourself Edna. Books are for learning and education; they are the source of great joy and should not be betrayed by being used as a weapon. She took a deep breath. I’m beginning to think my relationship with books is a little unhealthy. 

Nadia was glancing between the two a little awkwardly. She didn’t have Edna’s bossy, highly-strung and just a little unusual personality, and she didn’t have Amanda cold clarity and command. Nadia just had exuberance and enthusiasm, so it would often end in Edna and Amanda clashing while she waited patiently for an opening.

“Bored of what, Edna?”

Amanda’s cold glare swung towards the darker haired witch, “You’re taking her side?”

“Amanda, we don’t know what Edna’s side is!”

The blonde opened her mouth but came up with no argument. She quickly snapped her jaws shut and crossed her arms over her chest, turning back to Edna. “So enlighten us.”

Edna grinned. “Right so! We are starting a new club. A club for…wait for it…dares!”

Applause broke out! Edna smiled and gave a small bow and she was awash with praise from her best friends. 

“It’s so terribly brilliant, Edna!” Amanda declared. 

“Simply superb, how on earth do you do it?” Nadia gushed. 

“Marvellous.” Roger said quietly with a gleam in his eye and a smile on his lips as he pulled Edna into a passionate embrace leaning in to press his mouth softly against-

“What?” Amanda asked sceptically. “A club for dares?”

Edna snapped out of her daze. No applause. In fact she could practically hear crickets. “Well…uh…yeah.”

“Not homework?”

“Uh, no.”

“Dares…to do homework?”

“No.” Edna sighed.

“Wait!” Nadia looked panicked, “Not dares to not do homework?”

Edna made a frustrated noise that sounded like ‘grah!’ and buried her head into the cushion she had been holding. “No! It is nothing to do with homework! Nothing whatsoever! Not even a little tiny, weenie bit to do with homework! Homework does not exist in the same sentence as this club!”

Amanda and Nadia were gaping again. Amanda cleared her throat a little, “So then…what would we do?”

Edna sighed and leant back, hitting her head again the hard arm of the chair. “Aren’t you sick of this?” She asked quietly, without opening her eyes. “We’re in our seventh year and we’ve never really done anything.”

“Don’t be silly.” Amanda frowned “We’ve done lots of things.” 

“She doesn’t mean learning, Amanda,” Nadia announced with a soft tilt of her head, like a puppy…only a very clever puppy because it looked to Edna like Nadia was trying to read her mind through her eyes. “She means things we can look back on and laugh.”

“Exactly!” Edna beamed. “We’ve been here six years, we are in our seventh and what do we have to show for it?”

“Superior intellect.”

“Well…yes…that goes without saying! But where’s the fun? Where’s the excitement? The passion, the romance, the-” 

“Oh My God.” Amanda groaned loudly, dropping her head into her hands. “This is about romance! Of course it’s about romance! How didn’t I notice that?”

Edna went to protest but Nadia beat her to it.

“C’mon, Amanda, she’s not that bad.”

Edna frowned. I’m in the room.

“Yes she is!” Amanda scoffed. “Six years and all she ever thinks about is romance!”

“She’s a young woman…” Nadia tried.

“So are we, but do we stare into space and have conversation in our heads with imaginary boyfriends?”

“I don’t have-” Edna tried to cut in, unsuccessfully.


“No, Nads, we do not.”

“Neither do I!” Edna said weakly, pouting.

Amanda glanced at her. “One word, Edna; Roger.”

Yeah well, you’re the one trying to steal Roger with your dream of darker hair! He’s attracted to brunettes you blonde haired vixen!  Edna thought glumly but instead said. “I don’t know any Roger’s.” Forgive me!

“Right, and I’m a pureblood.” Amanda drawled. 

“Actually – I mean, if we didn’t know any better then I would assume that-” Nadia stopped when Amanda glared at her, but then she bristled and shoved her hands on her hips. “Don’t you give me that look, missy! We are going to sit here and we are going to listen to what our friend has to say – without interrupting and without picking fun…and if you make that annoying scoffing noise I will hex you into next week.” 

Amanda’s eyebrows shot up and Edna didn’t believe for a minute that the blonde was even remotely intimidated, but to her surprise Amanda closed her mouth and stared expectantly at Edna.

“Edna, tell us your idea.” Nadia smiled cheerfully.

Edna returned the smile, “Ok. Basically I feel that we should just…uh…dare each other. To do things, you know…” Edna leaned closer and lowered her voice, “Naughty things.”

There was a pause.

“Do you mean sexual things?” 

“What?! No! Merlin no! Why on earth would we dare each other to do sexual things? And exactly whom would we dare each other to do them to? Good lord, don’t answer that it was entirely rhetorical.” Edna’s shock and repulsion moved into weariness and she rubbed the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. “I mean mischievous things, Amanda. Not…you know…that stuff.”

Amanda was looking relieved and Nadia was glancing at the slim girl with wary concern. 

“So…we meet up and dare each other to do bad things?”


“How bad are we talking?”

“Well…cheeky and naughty type bad things. ‘Tsk Kids’ type bad as opposed to ‘pillage and plunder’ type bad.” Edna explained. This entire conversation was beginning to leave her physically drained.

“And when will we do these dares?” 

Edna shrugged. “During the day, I suppose. We can meet up at-” Edna glanced at the clock over the fireplace. It was after midnight now. “Midnight. We’ll meet up at midnight to give out the dares, and then we can meet again in a few days to discuss how it all went!”

Amanda was looking dubious but Nadia’s eyes were bright and she was smiling. Edna gave a smile back; Nadia had clearly taken a liking to this plan and her enthusiasm was beginning to pour into it.

“I like it. It’s a nice idea. It should be fun! But we’ll have to keep a log to make sure we don’t do the same dares twice…and so we know who is involved in what! And we’ll have to…”

Edna’s soft smile became a full grin as she stopped listening; leave it to Nadia to make Ravenclaw Racketeers an organised event. Actually that reminded her… “Oh, did I tell you the name?”

“The name?” Nadia asked, interest sparking. “The club already has a name?”

“Yes.” Edna smiled. “We’re called…The Ravenclaw Racketeers!”

Nadia squealed and clapped her hands together once, “It’s perfect!”

“Only you would have a club named before you’d even created it.” Amanda rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. 

Edna just shrugged and pulled a ‘What can I say?’ face. 

“Well, I hate to ruin your moment of genius. But does this not count as an official meeting?” Amanda asked after a minute or two. 

Edna frowned. “Uh, well. I suppose, why?”

Amanda’s expression twisted into an amused smirk, “Well, Edna. Dare us away!”

“Oh I have got the perfect challenge.”

* * *

“Are you kidding?”

Edna glanced innocently to her friend. “No, why?”

“Because…just…Edna this is like the most pathetic dare in the history of the entire universe!” Amanda replied, “I have enough years of Truth or Dare, under my belt to know that this is a fairly crap dare.”

Edna stared blankly for a minute. She had no idea what exactly Truth or Dare was. “Oh well…we’re breaking in gently. And eventually our dares shall get more, uh, daring.”

Nadia was staring at the door in front of them. “I understand the breaking in gently thing but isn’t the point of The Racketeers-” 

Nadia was hushed by Edna, who was glancing up and down the almost completely vacant corridor. 

“-to do things that people will notice?”

“Yes, eventually. But we have to start slow.”

“Any slower and we’ll go backwards. No one will notice this. Ever.”

“The caretaker will.”

“Like anyone cares what he thinks.” Amanda scoffed.

Edna sighed, “No need to be so unpleasant. Just get in the damn room.”

Amanda sighed, rolled her eyes and opened the door in front of them, shuffling in to the room with Nadia and Edna at her heels. They were stood in the trophy room, rows of glinting silver and gold stared back, plaques and medals among the large dominating cups. “So you volunteered us to clean the room?”


“But we aren’t going to clean it?”


“And this is your entire plan?”

“Yep. I think it’s a good challenge!”

“It’s not much of a challenge; we just have to do nothing.”

“Yes, but we have to pointedly do nothing when we should be doing something! See? It’s genius!” Edna grinned.

“So, uh…” Nadia started with a slight frown. “What are we going to do?”

“Uh…” Edna glanced around. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. All their homework was done in anticipation of spending their free time accomplishing dares. Now they were facing an hour and half of sitting in a room doing nothing.

“We could make them dirtier.” Amanda offered absently as she read over one of the plaques. 

“Amanda! We are here for harmless mischief, not vandalism!”

Amanda snorted and shot Edna a look.

“Actually that might be better.” Nadia agreed shyly. “We could dirty them up a little and then, uh, go?”

Edna looked shocked and a little appalled. “But…” 

Ah, just do it.  Her mind offered. Guys like bad girls, don’t they? Maybe Roger will…

* * *

A/N - Yeaaaaah. So this took a while huh? Well, actually I wrote it in about an hour so not really...but I co-wrote the first one with my sister, onyl she actually kinda wrote most of it and I was worried I'd bugger the second chapter up without her help. According to her I did not but we shall see eh?
Edna sighed, “Fine ok, whatever. Let’s do it.”

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