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A/N: ok so if you havn't guessed this story is based vaguely on the final harry potter book D/H, if you havn't read it or the 6th book i'm not sure if you'll want to read this cause it does contain some spoilers.

but all the same enjoy! let me know what you think!

You know what my favourite past time is? Watching the sky turn from blue into that pinky orange colour just as it begins to set, apparently it's called twilight. I've found myself watching this happen every evening all the way through the summer to now. As I watch the sun set I often ask myself questions especially about who I am.
I must admit to you all that I'm having somewhat of an identity crisis.
What side do I join now the war is raging on?
Whilst I'm here at Hogwarts it gives me time to at least make a decision, out in the world I might not have so much time to make up my own mind, especially with parents like mine.
Let me take you back 5 weeks, This was when I started to really question my place in the universe.

What a beautiful summers day it had been, walking I found myself so content even with the events that had taken place only a few weeks before hand.
I watched my feet guide me back towards my home
walking, walking, walking
sirens sirens sirens,
My heart sunk into my stomach as I saw the dreadful sight
Police cars, muggles everywhere, yellow tape, tears
running towards my house my mother greeted me warmly but this was strange she never did such things,
police interviewed everyone in the neighbourhood
Mr Fred and Margeret Price had died
very suspicious but no sign of a break in or a struggle, no external injuries
eventual reports for the cause of death were 'heart attacks',
well that's what the muggles thought anyway.
I knew differently, My parents hated muggles with a passion
They seemed awfully happy with themselves.......

After that there were more reports of suspicious deaths all around the country much to my parents delight. Was I so wrong in objecting against them? My father certainly though so, he couldn't even look at me in the eye. He spent the rest of the summer using his rage to intimidate me. His hand across my face was a common occurrence in our household but it started to get worse, eventually I was such a disgrace to him that I was forbidden to leave the house or make contact with anyone. I dared not go against his wishes he was a man not to be questioned or to be fooled around with.

So do I join the dark side out of fear?
Or do I go for the light because it's the right thing to do?

Professor Snape was now successor of Dumbledore, to many this was a bad thing but for our house this was a time of celebration. I couldn't even stand sitting in the common room at times as I heard plans of a victory, how everyone thought that it was just inevitable especially now Snape was in charge.

'What is it that has changed you?' asked Auria one day as we sat in the common room.
I was filing through my work trying to sort out what needed to be done.
'Usually you gossip away with me and tease the younger girls, is it a boy?' she asked with a little glint in her eye. I didn't want to crush her hopes so I just merely smiled at her.
I wish it was a boy, life would be a little less complicated if that was all I had to worry about.

Once again Draco came striding into the common room, looking like he was about to hit someone. All were diverted towards his presences as he walked over to us and slumped into the couch next to me.
'Drakie my darling, let me massage your shoulders' squealed Pansy as she came skipping over.
Placing her hands on his shoulders I scowled in her direction, she reminded me almost of a leech latching on sucking the life out of her victims. Draco suddenly shoved her away, she flew across the floor with a mighty crash. The room yet again fell silent as shock sank into the atmosphere.

'DON'T EVER TOUCH ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!' He bellowed standing over her, his shoulders rising and falling as his breathing became heavy.

Pansy simply nodded her head with tears in her eyes. Instinctively I rose from my seat, running over to her I helped her to her feet as I did so I noticed she trembled under my hands, she let out a small sob as her wrist twisted unnaturally out of place.

'What is wrong with you?' I asked him letting the words slip from my lips before I could even think about what I was saying.
Draco stood before us his mouth ajar, there was never anyone in our own house that fought against him, no one ever dared but as I stood there meeting his eyes with a new found confidence I could almost see him giving in to me. Before I could say anything else he was gone, taking off to his dorm with Caleb and Blaise close behind.

'I think your wrist is broken' I examined Pansy's swollen arm, it was almost purple, 'let me take you to the hospital wing' I advised.

I suddenly heard a snort, I turned my head to find Auria laughing.

'Why would you want to take her any where?' she sneered giving Pansy a dirty look.

'Oh piss off!' I replied and with that I left through the portrait to take the sobbing girl to the hospital wing.

There was a definite awkward silence as Pansy and I walked through the long cold stone corridors. All I could hear was my own breathing and Pansy's quiet whimpers as she clutched onto her arm.

'Why doesn't he love me back?' Pansy sobbed suddenly breaking the silence.

She sank to the floor against a wall with her tears now in full flow. Turning towards her I was certainly stuck for words.

'You mean Draco?' I asked, I mentally slapped myself as I realised that it was a rather stupid question.

Pansy nodded up at me as she searched my face for any sort of answers. I stumbled over words wondering whether it was better to tell her the complete, utterly harsh, reality slapping truth or the soppy, girlish, generic, what-she-wants-to-hear lie, both of which would result in more tears. So it was a bit of a catch 22 whatever I decided to say. I knew that it was better to tell the truth and for the first time in ages I felt confident enough to take the moral high road.

'Why do you bother with this boy? He doesn't even appreciate you, I'm sure that there are others that would worship the ground you walked on, or at least not shove you around' I stuttered, I really was bad at giving advice.

'I love him, do you know how it feels to love someone so much that it hurts?' she replied tears still streaming down her face.
I honestly wished that I could've said yes but all I could do was shake my head. I suddenly felt depression hit me when I realised this was not the case for myself, I had never really loved anyone not even my parents.

Man it was late when I got back from the hospital wing, Pansy wanted to stay there over night just get her head clear. Having sat and chatted with her for awhile I realised this girl was a completely different person to who I thought she was. Maybe that was where I was going wrong, maybe I had spent the last 7 years judging but never knowing people.

I stumbled into the common room half asleep not even thinking about anything. My eyes had to adjust to the darkness as the only form of light in the room was the fireplace. God I ached all over, a sign of old age I guess. The stairs were only inches away from me and I suddenly longed for my bed.

'Marianna' came a voice from the darkness.

Turning wearily on the spot I searched for the voice squinting slightly to make out who was sitting on the sofa in front of the fire place.

'Draco, what are you doing up?' I yawned slightly walking over towards him.

'Is Pansy okay?' he asked in concern as I took my place next to him.

I nodded softly blinking as I tried to keep my eyes open. The warmth of the fire swept over me as my body relaxed into the curves of the sofa. I took in the flames in front of me as they licked around the cold stone prison that kept them from spreading further. The crackling was just about audible to my ears and the strong orange glow brought a little smile to my face. This was why I considered Hogwarts to be my home because I felt relaxed and at ease. Something I never felt back at my family house in Kent.

Draco remained silent as he watched me fall under a hypnotic trance, letting out a big yawn he placed his head on my shoulder which brought me back into reality. I looked down upon him as we sat in this comfortable silence. For the first time in ages I saw the little boy that I met 7 years ago on platform 9 ¾. I wanted to cry as this familiarity hit me hard, he was just a boy, a broken one at that.

'Do you sometimes feel like as if you're living two lives just to satisfy everyone else?' he asked quietly staring softly at the fireplace.

Tears escaped from my eyes as I longed to tell him everything, I was so strung up and confused with where my loyalties lied that I could almost burst. Wiping my tears away quickly I let out a big sigh. Life shouldn't be this hard. Not for us anyway, we're only 17, but then a lot was expected of us, especially now.
I felt his hand enter mine as we sat two old friends just needing some love, not that neither one would admit that to the other, but we knew that in our silent agreement that tonight we would be there for each other. What happened tomorrow or the day after would not matter for now. I feared that maybe this would be the last and only night that we would actually show each other that we cared, if that was the case one night was all I needed.

I never did answer his question, he already knew the answer.

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