A/N:: Words cannot express how sorry I am. My last update was in the summer, how horrible is that?? I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's a little bit darker and more emotional...and I tend to go over-board with the drama. And then people are confused with why they are so angry. Hopefully any and all questions will be answered during the next chapters. Yes, the warning went up... blame my mouth. It's pretty big.

Luv ya

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in

It’s James day today.

I woke up with a snort as Fae rolled me out of bed, a wicked smile gleaming on her face. “Come on, Addie,” she prodded. “It’s James day today!” Her excitement couldn’t be quelled so I got up slowly and watched Fae flounce away.

It’s James day today.

And I’m about to make a complete and total fool of myself.

I slapped my forehead and groaned. “I’ve already done that.” No one looked at me; everyone already thought I was a freak so why stop now?

I didn’t go into Fae’s trunk this morning to take some of her clothes; I felt too sick to even think about what I was going to wear. Let alone what I was about to do. My hands were sweaty, I already had a migraine AND I hadn’t even done anything yet.

Except trick Peter into spying on his friend so I could dig up dirt on him.

Well, when it’s put like that.

“Addie,” I mumbled to myself. “Get yourself together!” Finally I managed to have a couple of girls stare at me. “What?” I nearly shouted. “Never seen a crazy Gryffindor talk to herself before?”

Way to make friends, eh?

The girls just looked even more strangely at me before they mumbled, “Sorry.”

Why are they saying sorry? I’m the one who’s going to be begging for forgiveness.

Wait. Why?

Oh, shit.

James day.

James day was the pinnacle of my destruction. And by destruction I mean falling in love with Sirius Black and watching it all blow up in my face. I knew from the beginning it was going to be big, but I never realized how big. James day was the day when everything exploded. Secrets were unwillingly revealed, confessions were made and hearts were broken. Damn, I’m getting ahead of myself.

“Morning love,” Sirius crowed as he met me in the corridor. He seemed a little out of breath and I wondered if he had ran to catch up with me.

“What’s good about it?” I questioned, sulking as I let Sirius’s arm curl around my waist. He guided me towards a dimly lit corridor.

You know, I’ve never realized how many dimly lit corridors Hogwarts castle has. It’s almost like it wanted students to go and snog, just so it can watch.

All right. That was a bit perverted, but blame my mood.

“Want me to make it all better?” Sirius asked, his eyes glowing.

I glowered. “Because you’re snogs make everything better right?” I snapped and Sirius looked shocked.

I can’t believe I said that.

Damn, why is he looking at me like that?

Oh god. He’s going to kill me.

But, Sirius didn’t kill me, no he didn’t. Instead he pulled me against him with such a fierceness that I cried out in shock. One arm curled around my waist and the other around my neck, locking me into my place. “I really wouldn’t snap at me right now, Harris. Defiantly not a good idea if you plan on going to breakfast.” Then his mouth crashed down onto mine.

I felt white, hot anger course through me, but I didn’t know why.

The kiss held such an animalistic quality to it that I could barely keep up. Sirius’s tongue plundered my mouth and in that instant when our mouths were joined ever so intimately, I saw a quick glimpse into his mind. The journey left me scarred and even more curious.

“Are you alright?” I whimpered against his firm lips. Sirius paused his assault and quickly stood back, looking shocked and guilty.

“I’m-er-sorry.” Sirius offered no explanation, just a tight grin. But it didn’t matter, I now knew more than he thought I did.

“Breakfast?” I asked changing the subject and the mood quickly. Sirius pulled me close to him once more and dropped his head down onto my shoulder.

“How can you excite me and calm me at the same time?” Sirius mumbled. He didn’t mean for me to hear so I didn’t give him an answer. I simply stood there, my arms holding him closely, until his breathing was normal. He looked up at me and nodded; I took his hand and we went to breakfast.

James day was just beginning.

Nothing of interest happened during the day. The only thing worth noting is my ramblings that led me to my excuse for following up with James day. If you read them closely enough, you’ll be able to figure out how I figured out what you knew from the beginning.

“Lily,” I said quickly trying to gather my thoughts. “We have to talk.”

Lily sighed and put her text down. The title had the word cucumbers in it so I didn’t dare ask what she was reading. She flicked her hair over her shoulder before she steepled her hands together and looked at me from half-closed eyes. “I knew this day will come.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed. “This is serious. I have something I need to tell you. It involves Marauders and the full moon.”

Lily’s smile widened and her eyes twinkled evilly. “Sounds like we’ll be needing a plan? After all no one follows the Marauders out on the full moon. The last student who did, never came back.”

I glared at Lily for she had successfully creeped me out. “But before we make this plan, I’m going to need some reassuring and mental prepping.”

“I guess we need Fae then,” Lily sighed and I nodded. We defiantly needed Fae.

“First of all, Addie,” Fae started in a soothing voice, “it’s not your fault that James cancelled your play date. He’s a boy and that’s how they operate. But, now it’s your turn, as a girl, to follow them out in the middle of the night to see why all of them have been acting so odd.”

“And for that matter, why they always act like this every full moon,” Lily butted in, a toothy grin painted on her face.

“Is this not what I hired Peter for?” I asked slowly trying to get away from Fae’s and Lily’s master plan.

Fae frowned before patting my head. “Sweetie. Peter is one of them, the only thing you’re going to get out of him is that Sirius wants to get into your knickers.”

Sirius Black does not want to get into my knickers.

Lily sighed at my disgusted look. “Is it really that hard to believe? Black is head-over-heels for you Addie.”

“Bloody hell, you’re just as thick as them,” Fae groaned in frustration. “Addie why one Earth do you think Sirius is still engaged to you? You’ve somehow managed to entrance him with your muggle ways. You are awfully mysterious.”

Only because I don’t tell anyone what I really am.

“Gee, thanks,” I replied sarcastically. “But I’m not a muggle. That’s besides the point though because this is the craziest thing I have ever done. I can’t sneak out onto the grounds on a full moon! Even I have heard the stories. You know what people claim to hear? They claim to hear HOWLS! Howls, Fae, HOWLS!”

“So? There are a lot of spooky things in the forest. Lots of them howl. Just because students hear howls doesn’t mean that the Marauders are making the howls,” Lily reasoned.

“No, course not. But it could be them having hardcore animal-” Fae bursted out into laughter. “and THAT’S why they have those odd names. Like-oh, Sirius likes dogs and James, James likes deer. Hmm, Peter must like-”

“Silenco!” Lily screamed, her face nearly matching her hair. “Addie! Have you gone insane? The Marauders are not having...that with animals so you don’t have to worry.” Lily looked to Fae for back-up, but Fae was not in her right mind.

“I-giggle-never-giggle-thought-giggle-of-giggle-it-giggle-that-giggle-way...” Fae could barely speak so Lily and I simply turned away and let her be.

“Sorry,” I muttered as Lily lifted the spell. “I’m a little out of it.”

“Well, you are about to attempt something no one has ever done before,” Lily reminded me and I shot her an even look before I remembered something Remus had told me the other day.

“Lily I don’t think this is a good idea.” I avoided her glare and began again. “I know that I started this all, but I just remembered something.”

“What? What could you have possibly remembered that has suddenly deterred you from this course of action?” Lily paused as a smile formed on her face. “Never mind, even I could think of some.”

With fingers running through my hair I flopped down onto the velvet couch in the common room and told Lily was Remus had said to me. “After our little date thing in the library he told me something. He said that I shouldn’t go into the forest during a full moon. After that, I joked about him being a werewolf and he flipped out at me. Lily, what if he’s a...”

A strange look appeared on Lily’s face. It was a look that made me think I was onto to something, but it disappeared almost instantly. “He’s probably just edgy about Potions or something.” She took my arm and leaned in closer to me. “But, I wouldn’t tell Fae about it,” she warned me.

“Why not?” I asked before realizing why it might upset her. I turned around and looked at Fae who seemed to be overcoming her laughing spell. She wiped tears from her eyes and gave me a watery smile. “You ready?” She began laughing again and I whipped around in frustration. “Something’s really wrong with her.”

“You’re the one who thought they were shagging animals,” Lily giggled.

One time! It was one time!

“Bugger off, please. I need to think,” I hissed as Lily waggled her eyebrows at me.

You know, I think I preferred her before I ever knew her.

Fae tip-toed over to us, her laughter gone, but her eyes still sparkling. “Of what? How much you love Black?” she whispered into my ear I shook my head. “Hmmm, then tell me dear cousin, why are you insisting for us to make you a plan to help you get in on his dirty little secrets?” Fae didn’t even bat a eye as I glared at her.

“I-oh-sod it! I have to know, OK? I just have to know; I have to know what he’s hiding on me and why. I have to know why for this one thing I’m kept out of the loop. I have to know why I love him!”

Dirty little secret number three, I believe.

“Wow. I never actually thought you’d admit it,” Lily whispered in awe. “How could you love him?” I stared helplessly before I realized that the emotion that was seeping from Lily was concern. I forgot the relationship that Lily and Sirius had.

“I love him like you love James,” I revealed slowly and a wild look appeared on her face, but I ignored it. “I love him because of the way he makes me feel special. I love him because he knows things about me even before I know them. I love him because he used me to anger everyone. I love him because of his smile. I love him because he kisses me like a movie star on his last hope. I love him because it was a sneaky kind of love that just appeared one day. I love him because-because-because I want to!”

Fae’s face was indescribable, but being what I was, I knew exactly how she was feeling. “You really are in love,” she whimpered and fell into my arms. I shushed her as she began to cry. Fae was harboring a secret love for someone and I know knew how it felt.

Lily came from behind and completed our hug. “Sometimes I wonder if it was just meant to be...” I smiled into Fae’s hair as Lily revealed her dirty little secret.

“Well,” I sighed, “now comes the hard part.”

Lily looked up and Fae stopped crying. “What do you mean? Telling them?”

“Well, I mean the part that’s too close for comfort. The part where we know and they don’t. It’s the part where things become messy and muddled.”

“How would you know?” Lily asked, but her voice wasn’t rough, it was soft.

“I-I read my mother’s diary once. The one that told about before her and my dad got together. It made me cry,” I had to stop because tears were streaming down my face. Unshed tears that had been waiting to come out.

“Why are you crying Addie?” Fae asked in concern as we seamlessly switched positions and she became the one I was leaning one.

My breath hitched and I wondered for a moment whether I was ready to come out and tell them something that no one else knew. Something that was kept secret between three people. Keeping a secret is terribly easy when two out of three people are dead. I decided against it and simply shook my head. “I miss them.”

“Want to get your mind off of this? I believe we have a little escapade to plan, do we not?” Lily asked with her usual amount of sass. She let go of Fae and I and backed away. “Come on, let’s bust these Marauders.”

“Bust?” Fae asked in her usual bubbly voice. “Have you turned into some kind of hooligan Lily Evans? What have we done to you?”

“Not much. You’ve just made me a little loopy, but don’t worry, I’ll get you back.” Lily smiled before going back to the table and from under a few sheets of parchment she pulled out a folded piece of blank paper. “Now, to figure out where the blokes are so you don’t get caught, we have this!”

Wiping my tears away I struggled out of Fae’s grasp and snatched the parchment out of Lily’s hand. “How is a blank parchment going to help me keep undercover?” I asked skeptically.

“You two are the most heartless people I know,” Fae huffed as she dragged her body towards us. “We just had a total heart-to-heart moment and now you’re already back to planning how Addie can get into Sirius’s pants.”

“When did you become so vulgar?” I asked innocently still examining the parchment. Lily gently extracted it from my hand and began explaining, cutting off any explanation Fae could have given.

“I smuggled this from Sirius one night. This is how they do their marauding!” Her excitement was not shared my Fae and I.

It was a blank piece of parchment, forgive us for not believing.

“Have you gone mad?” Fae asked slowly as she backed away from Lily. I giggled and Lily put the full force of her glare on me which caused me to choke back laughter.

“Of course not. Although, I thought I did when I realized how magically inclined they are. You are never going to believe this.” Lily pulled out her wand and tapped the parchment. “Anyone guess the magic words?”

Fae shook her head, but I decided to guess. “Knowing Sirius it’s probably something odd like, ‘I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good’ or something.” Lily gasped as I spoke the words aloud. Apparently, I knew Sirius better than I thought because the blank parchment suddenly became something very useful. A very, very, big map of Hogwarts.

“Guess you knew him better than you thought,” Fae muttered before snatching the map away from Lily.

Merlin hates me.

“I’m not even going to ask how you knew that, but back to business,” Lily muttered and began pointing to areas of the map. “This map shows where everyone in Hogwarts is. Look, there’s Potter and the rest of them; they’re heading out of the the school. I believe you better be going Adriana!”

“WHAT?” I roared. “I’m not ready? Hello, I just confessed that I was in love with Black.”

Oh god. Someone get me a Potions text; I think I’m hyperventilating!

“Addie,” Fae said firmly. “Go!”

“But-but-” They both shushed my stuttering and pushed me towards the portrait.

“Good luck,” Lily whispered and the last thing I saw was their grinning faces before the portrait swung shut.

“Going out on an adventure, love?” The portrait asked me and I sighed.

“I’m going to my death,” I told her sourly before quickly checking the map in my hands and hurrying down a staircase.

Good thing I have a map or else I would be lost on the bloody staircases!

The events that followed my escape of Hogwarts were the most haunting of my life. Of course, I like to laugh at them now and then, but they changed me. Merlin, what hasn’t changed me?

The boys’ figures were moving rather quickly towards the Whomping Willow. I assume you know why it’s called the Whomping Willow, so I’m not going to go into detail on it. I will tell you this though: NEVER TRY TO FOLLOW FOUR BOYS INTO A TREE THAT WILL ATTACK YOU IF YOU COME NEAR IT!

Did my point come off clear enough?

I crunched my way down the road, that led out of Hogwarts, before heading off towards a rather large tree. I peered at the map in the darkness and saw four dots by the tree. They were there already.

After, Lily asked me how I was able to see the map in the dark as she had forgotten to give me some sort of light. I wasn’t able to figure it out either until later.

Hugging my heavy cloak against me I folded the map and stuffed it into my jumper. It wasn’t the most comfortable place, but I had no other choice. I trudged on and began to quicken my pace when I noticed that the strange tree had began to wave it’s branches wildly in the air. Suddenly, it stopped. The branches hung in midair, seemingly waiting to strike, but never getting the chance.

“What the hell?” I muttered bitterly, as I was now throughly confused.

You’d think I’d be used to that by now.

After a few moments of brisk walking and the occasional string of swear words as I stumbled into some random object, I found myself standing in front of the tree. My heart was racing and my mind had gone numb.

You think a girl would learn.

Suddenly the tree began to shake. “Shit,” I whispered and hugged myself close to the twisting trunk. I slowly moved my way around the base of the tree looking for a way to escape when suddenly my foot slipped into a hole and my body collapsed against the damp earth.

“What the hell?” I cursed as I let my head fall onto the ground. “What am I doing? Shit, this is ridiculous! This is ‘effing ridiculous. I-” A menacing howl intercepted my rambling and I covered my face with my hands. “I’m going to be bloody eaten. I just know it!”

Gathering whatever courage I had I looked around for the hole that my foot had slipped into. Apparently, it wasn’t a hole, it was more like a gateway to hell. I threw away whatever Ravenclaw smarts I had and began to crawl, muttering to myself the entire trip.

“Fu-Oh.” I stood up and looked in awe at where the secrets passage had led me. In all honestly, I had no idea where I was. I knew it was a house, obviously, but as to where the house was, I had no idea. I could have been in America for all I had known.

Suddenly savage growling erupted from somewhere above me. I battled down the yelp that desperately wanted to be let loose and tried to get my breathing back to normal. I decided against calling out to see if anyone would answer me. I wasn’t in the mood to be mauled. So, instead I quietly tip-toed up the worn stairs that were in front of me.

I should have realized that no force, muggle or magical, could have made me quiet. Especially since I was trying to hide from non-human ears. The house began to shake and I tripped as something was thrown against the wall in the room to the right. Suddenly everything was quiet, the only thing I could hear was heavy panting coming from the room where all the commotion seemed to taking place.

Standing up, I reached for the doorknob, completely threw caution to wind, and opened the door. The next thing I knew I was being slammed into wooden floor and my breath was knocked out my lungs and trust me, not in a good way. Not in a, roller-coaster ride way, or a just-been-throughly-snogged way either. It was in a demon-creature-with-horrible-breath-that-was-about-to-eat-me kind of way.

Golden eyes stared unseeingly at me as the werewolf lowered its jaw to rip me open. I wasn’t even trying to struggle though. I was to caught up in the over-powering emotions that revolved around this being. They consumed me and I lost control over my own power. All I wanted was release and the only way to get it was if the creature above me tore into my flesh. A scream tore through me as the werewolf was knocked off my body by a flash of black fur. A new emotion found me, but before I had time to use it I felt something bite my finger.

I struggled into a sitting position and looked down to see a rat tugging at my ragged t-shirt. My breath came back to me and I looked over to see a large dog and a stag battling the werewolf and trying to subdue it. A whimper escaped my mouth and the dog looked back at me, its grey eyes brilliantly familiar before if growled and attacked the beast again.


Another bite sunk into my fingers and I turned my attention back to the rat. It scurried away and I followed, not in the mood to be here anymore. It took me back through the passage and then once we got to the other side showed me a hidden notch. I sat on it to keep the tree from moving. After I assured the rat I wasn’t moving it quickly zoomed back through the tunnel and left me alone.

Alone and very, very scared.

What I had just seen confirmed my worst fears.

No, not that the Marauders were shagging animals, but that Remus was a werewolf and I-I was something worse.

I fell asleep with visions of Sirius’s eyes whirling around my head.

“Addie? Addie, wake up!” Someone’s hands were roughly holding my shoulders and trying to jerk me awake.

“Wha?” I mumbled out unintelligently. As soon as my eyes opened I was unceremoniously hauled up onto my feet before Sirius slapped me. “What the hell was that for Black?” I hissed now fully awake. I stared sourly at him as I rubbed my cheek.

Sirius’s eyes burned as he took me by the shoulders and hugged me to his chest. “You could have been killed. Addie, what were you doing there? You knew better than to follow us!”

I struggled out of his grasp and felt the rough skin of his cheek as my hand left a stinging mark on his face. “I wouldn’t have followed if you hadn’t kept that all a secret. Who the hell keeps a secret like that anyway? Sirius, what the fuck was that?”

I rarely swore. If I did it was something minor like bloody hell or shit, it was never worse. I was angry and Sirius was in for the long run.

But this was Sirius Black we’re talking about.

“It’s none of your business. Well, it wasn’t. No one ever got hurt, no one has ever been killed. Addie, he’s our friend. We have to help him,” Sirius’s words were said so lovingly that my anger began to peter-out.

“It’s not fair,” I muttered and Sirius eyed me. I quickly covered with, “It’s not fair. Look at you. You’ve got bruises on your face, you’re ear’s bleeding and you’re limping. Does this happen all the time?”

Sirius nodded somberly. “Every full moon.”

“That’s what your nickname mean then?” I asked goofily, recalling my earlier theory. “It’s Padfoot because you’re animagus? You’re not having hardcore animal-”

“WHAT?” Sirius stepped hastily away and I blushed a deep red.

“See what not telling me has caused. You should have seen Fae’s face,” I paused as I saw Sirius’s face contort into one of pure horror.

“You had this conversation of Fae?” He asked incredulously.

I nodded numbly before adding, “And Lily.”

“Lily? You told Lily that James was having hardcore animal sex?”

I nodded before laughing. “When you say it, it just sounds vulgar.”

Sirius frowned before gathering me in his arms again. “How did you find us anyway love?”

I looked into his eyes and found myself unable to breath. “Luck,” I muttered lamely, but Sirius knew better.

“It was Lily wasn’t it? I knew she had the map. That sneaky, little bint!” I nodded, but before I could reprimand him for calling her a bint his lips covered mine and all regular thought processes flew out the window.

His hands trailed down my shoulders and enclosed our hands together. “Kiss me back, Addie,” he murmured as he drew back slightly. “I almost died saving you so I think I deserve a kiss.”

I didn’t say anything back. I simply wrapped my arms around his neck and connected our mouths again, feeling the need to be close to him. As our tongues mingled slowly with each other, I felt completely at ease. I forgot what had just happened and let myself be taken away by the magic that is Sirius Black.

All too soon he pulled away and tugged my hands away from his hair. “Guess what?” He asked, his face still dangerously close to mine.

“What?” I murmured breathily.

“I have no more secrets. I have no more dirty little secrets...well,” he paused for a moment and held my gaze. “Maybe I have one more, but that will be revealed in time.” He smiled at me and laid a light kiss on my forehead. “Isn’t it nice to be honest. I’ve never been like this with a girl. You must be something special Harris.”

His words tipped me over the edge and out of my mouth came tumbling a secret that blew everything apart.

“I’m an Empath,” I said suddenly and Sirius jerked slightly causing me to bite my tongue.

“What?” His asked and the look in his eye was telling me to lie.

“I’m an Empath,” I stated again, feeling light-headed and terribly frightened.

“No,” he whispered softly. “You’re not. Please, tell me you’re lying,” he hissed and gripped my hands.

“I can’t. I-Sirius, why is this such a big deal?” I questioned and a wild look appeared in his eyes.

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you. You knew what I felt and you probably played with my emotions as well. Fuck, I can’t believe I fell for this. You’re the reason that girl in Ravenclaw the off her rocker, aren’t you? You made her like that.”

I looked at Sirius in shock. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. “No, Sirius. You’re wrong. I never had a very good grip on my powers when that Joyce went off like she did. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“You can probably read my thoughts to eh? You probably thought that this was some big joke to play on some idiotic prankster.”

“Well, it was a big joke to you in the first place, wasn’t it?” I cried in frustration as the situation whirled completely out my control.

“I have to go,” he scowled and turned away.

“Wait, Sirius, let me explain!” I begged and he whipped around.

“Why did you have to play me like this Harris? I stopped playing a long time ago. I actually fell-fuck.” Sirius stopped before he shut his eyes and sprinted towards the castle, leaving me along and very very heart-broken.

“The only thing worse that could happen now is rain,” I whimpered and looked to the night sky.

The only thing that looked back at me was the full moon. This depressed me even more. It seemed as though nothing was going to go as planned.

As I trudged back to the castle my eyes began to tear and the phrase ‘too close for comfort’ took on a whole new meaning.

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