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Chapter 19: The Classiest Girls in Hogwarts

The left side of my face is freezing cold. There is a disgusting taste residing in my mouth. I can smell a foul odour in the air and I can faintly hear the sound of someone losing their lunch, or dinner, what time is it?

I’m a little scared to open my eyes seeing as how my other four senses are dealing with enough already. Who knows what kind of visuals will appear?

I briefly wonder why I’m here and in seconds a recall Amy dragging me to Hogshead. Other memories flash quickly through my mind.

“Amy?” I called out. The last thing I remember is falling off a stool and we both thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I think I landed on my arm because I can feel it throbbing slightly with pain.

I heard a groan. I finally relented and slowly opened my eyes. A fuzzy but quick analysis let me know that I was in a bathroom and judging by the state of it, it was probably the bathroom of esteemed Hogshead establishment.

“Gross!” I cried and immediately sat up. The added dizziness made me put it all together. I was drunk. And judging by my memory lapse from between falling off the stool and my current location, I was formally completely and utterly hammered. Unfortunately this must have been very recent, I still feel tipsy, proof I had definitely not recovered yet.

“I tried to tell you how disgusting the floor was but you kept saying how sleepy you were” a voice came from behind me.

I turned slowly, palms on the floor to steady myself. Amy was sitting on her knees with her shaking arms wrapped around the toilet. She was breathing heavily but moved away from the toilet for a bit to push a glass of water towards me.

“You got sleepy right after you hurled” she said simply.

“I threw up?” I asked wearily. The taste in my mouth should have given it away.

“Yeah” she answered “Right after your air guitar solo, I think all the head banging did it”

I cringed before picking up the glass of water and stumbling towards the sink. I gargled the water until the glass was empty.

“Are you going to throw up?” I asked her when I finished. She certainly looked as if she might. “Should I get you a glass of water?”

“I’ve been dry heaving since I brought you in here, about an hour now; the barman has been banging on the door every 5 minutes yelling”

“Yipes” I replied. I gave myself a moment to look myself over. I didn’t have anything strange on me except an unknown stain that soon revealed to be alcoholic after I sniffed it.

A loud bang on the door sounded a moment later. It scared me so much I shrank against the wall.

“This is yer last warning ladies” a voice roared.

Amy stood up and wobbled a little. “Come on” she said “I’ll just have to do my best when the time comes.” She held her belly moaning.

As soon as we came out of the bathroom, the entire room cheered. I was so startled/still intoxicated, that I fell over, which only seemed to entertain them more. I could even hear a couple of wolf whistles. I stood up with a red face and as I brushed myself off I whispered to Amy “Please tell me I didn’t flash my ta tas”

Amy sighed. “You sang, you laughed extremely loud and inappropriately, challenged the burliest guy in the room to a fight but no, you did not flash your womanly parts” she told me in an annoyed voice.

“Thank god” I breathed “Everything else is just normal compared to that”

Amy rolled her eyes and pushed open the door with great effort. “Well whatever, the carriages are leaving soon and when we get back, we have to act sober or whatever professor in charge won’t be happy”

I immediately ran into a student as soon as I walked outside. “OY you little wanker, watch it” I yelled at the terrified kid. Amy held me back as I made a lunge for him.

“No attacking children” she scolded.

“Mphbollacks” I rambled. Shit Paige, you know how to talk. I don’t think I can successfully pull off acting sober. Isn’t fresh air supposed to help? Oh look at the squirrel. Stupid animals and their nuts. Man, have trees always been this tall?

I was interrupted from my important pondering by Amy collapsing in a bush and me yet again falling when she unintentionally tripped me. The sound of retching came again but this time I could tell it certainly wasn’t dry.

I crawled close to her and pulled back her hair. Awkwardly I felt around for my hair tie and set loose my now not so bouncy curls. As carefully as I could I put her hair up with it. I didn’t know what else to do so I just used my hand to rub her back soothingly in small circles as I concentrated on seeing only one of everything instead of two. I was more distracted than I was successful.

“Okay I think I’m done” she said quietly and we helped each other to stand up. Luckily the carriages were close and we only had to walk for a minutes longer before grabbing the last one.

“Melin it’s like, early” I mumbled as I felt sleepy again. “Getting drunk in the afternoon, how classy” I added. I can’t believe it only took a few hours to get us this messed up.

Amy just held her stomach and moaned as the carriage started to move, and not smoothly either.

“It didn’t do me any good at all” she complained.

“The drinking?” I asked.

“I just sat there and lamented to whoever was near about how miserable I am” she said “And you went ahead and had all the fun”

“Sorry” I apologized and moved across so I was sitting next to her. I put my arm around Amy and rested my head on her shoulder “Next time you have fun and I’ll lament” I offered.

She leaned her head on my resting one “How about next time we just get ice cream”

I yawned. “Deal”

The carriage’s sudden stop when it arrived snapped us out of our semi sleep.

“Paige this time try not to-“

I was unsuccessful at not falling when getting out.


I stood up hazily. How the hell were we going to convince the professor we didn’t just down have the firewhiskey in Europe?

“Here stand straight and look at me” Amy directed and took out her wand.

“Soraflora” she muttered with her wand pointing at me. Nothing happened.

She tried again. “Florasora” Nothing again.



Fascinated, I just watched for awhile before finally asking “What spell are you trying to do”

She shook her wand, clearly frustrated “That spell that gives you that all consuming scent of your favourite fruit”

“Oh” I answered and raised my wand to her “You mean Sephoria”

Dust emitted from my wand and fluttered about her. I hadn’t smelt any alcohol before but I had probably built up a temporary tolerance to it after my tenth drink. Now she had the light scent of strawberries. She breathed in and out and I finally saw a smile on her face.

“Mmm” she mused and raised her wand to me “Sephoria” she said.

Even the taste in my mouth changed, I felt as if I had just taken a bite of pineapple.

“Now all that’s left is the ability to walk straight” I said worriedly. Just because we smelled lovely didn’t mean we couldn’t show the tell tale signs.

“Put your arms around me and we’ll support each other, tell the professor on duty that I’m really sick.” She instructed.

It was a good idea but I still gulped when Professor Flitwick came into view.

He looked curious. “Bad crab, I’ll get her to the infirmary” I told him cheerfully. Thankfully I’m not a hiccup-er. He nodded politely “See that you do” he confirmed and I gave him a mock salute but refrained from saying yes sir.

As soon as he was out of sight we both collapsed laughing.

“Why is this so funny?” she asked me wiping a tear from her eye.

I meant to giggle but it came out a loud snort. Which we only found funnier.

“Let’s steal that weird map again!” Amy suggested suddenly.


We giggled as we ran up the stairs and more as we darted through the common room and up to the boy’s dorm.

The room was empty, we were lucky they were at dinner.

Instead of looking for the map Amy walked rather hurriedly to the bathroom. Uh oh. She locked the door behind her so I couldn’t follow.

I knocked on the door awkwardly “Err you need anything” I asked.

“I’m fine! Get the map” she called out.

“Oky doky” I said to myself. I spent about five minutes poking around before I got bored. Ohhhhh, James’s quidditch gear. I always wondered what I’d look like as a Quidditch player.

As I clumsily fashioned on some doohicky to my wrist I heard the sound of a shower starting. I wonder why she wanted to take a shower. Oh well.

Finishing up by slipping into dear old James’s boots I put my hands on my hips and starred proudly in a nearby mirror. I looked pretty bad ass. Then I spotted some out of place looking parchment above a pile of graded essays. All E’s and O’s, all belonging to a Mister Lupin but it was the out of place parchment I reached for.

Aha! The infamous marauders map. It was hard to find them amongst all the dots in the Great Hall and with my still slightly blurry vision but I did. I traced my finger along the Sirius Black one affectionately. Then I jabbed at the Remus Lupin one muttering “take that”

Amy came out of the washroom, hair wet and wearing a robe with the initials S.B. on it.

“I got some in my hair and I felt icky, plus I’ve always wanted to know what its like to use boy’s shampoo”

Hmmm now I’m curious. I eyed the initials “You know this means you’ve had more contact with Sirius’s naked body than I have” I informed her.

“I doubt he uses it, he seems more like a towel kind of guy. Nice outfit.”

“Thanks, but he’s probably used it at least once”

“Fine, wear Remus’s underwear then”


She laughed and ran to his trunk, picking up a pair of boxers by the waistband. “Wear it!” she ordered.

“No” I yelled but she lunged at me. I narrowly avoided her and dashed over the James bed. I picked up his broom that was poking out from underneath, settled myself on it and flew upwards. The ceiling was high enough for me to be out of reach.

“You can’t get me” I taunted. “I’m a Quidditch rock star”

She responded by throwing them at me and laughing. They landed on the broom.

“Ahh infiltration” I yelled in terror and began flying in circles.

“How about Peter’s?” she cackled evilly. I stopped going in circles and my head turned to her, she was grabbing a pair of Peter’s boxers from his trunk.

“Nooooo” I called out but it was too late. I narrowly avoided them but she had taken out her wand and was now charming every piece of clothing in sight to attack me. I tried my best but pretty soon I was getting hit with about three things at once. My tipping point came when I bashed my head on the ceiling and felt even more dizzy.

“Stop! I surrender” I shouted between heavy breaths. I lowered myself and she ceased fire with a goofy grin on her face. I grinned equally goofily back at her.

“I found the map” I informed her and pointed it out to her. She looked at it with a smile.

“Awww look at all the wittle dotsies” she cooed. Suddenly her face paled.

“Four little dots labelled with the same names of the occupants of this room just entered the Gryffindor common room” she said with panic in her voice. We each surveyed the room quickly and then each other. Me in Quidditch wear and her in the bathrobe that may or may not have housed his naked body.

“OPEN THE WINDOW” I cried out. She took my meaning immediately and rushed over to it. As soon as she heaved it open she ran behind me and climbed onto the broom. I let it lift a little shakily and moved towards to open window.

“Faster” she urged me.

“I don’t want any part of us to hit the frame” I told her. Luckily we made it through unscathed but before any more movement we both heard the door opened and I flinched.

“What the-” someone trailed off. We both looked behind us. The four boys had each stopped upon entering the room and were looking at us shocked.

“Geronimo!” I yelled and pulled the broom into a dive. Amy screamed and clung to me.

“Don’t you think we should go to the 7th year girl’s room?” she asked testily. Oh right. I think riding made her queasy.

I turned the broom around and flew to the other tower shakily. I could fly but I was certainly not going to make the Gryffindor Quidditch team anytime soon. After peering in a few windows we recognized our own by way of spotting Lily. Oh wonderful Lily. I rapped on the glass. She calmly walked over and opened the window for us. We toppled in and both fell off the broom. Amy landed softly on the bed to our left while I landed with a painful thud on my already sore arm on the right side, plus hitting my head again.

Lily raised an eyebrow at us but barely looked that shocked. Was she used to us by now? Impossible.

A throat cleared. I rolled over onto my back and looked to my left. The Marauders were standing on the other side of the room. They had beaten us here. They did not look impressed. Not too angry, a little more mildly confused and blank.

I could hear Amy bring up her lunch again but I was still looking in their direction. I did feel a bit of brief satisfaction that I knew that bed belonged to Kimberly. She just had to have the bed closest to the window.

James spoke first “Uhh can I have my things back and can you not take them again” he sounded kind of annoyed. I felt bad.

Uh oh. Sirius was giving me a disapproving look. It made my head hurt more. Well not really but I felt ashamed.


He spoke with a slightly raised voice “You got drunk by yourselves in a dingy bar!”

How did he know? And is he implying I can’t take care of myself. I sat up and moved so I was sitting against the wall. I leaned my head on it briefly but it hurt.

“Are you implying we can’t take care of ourselves?” Amy accused, verbalizing my thoughts.

“Well that much is obvious” Remus commented with a frown. “Not to mention you tore apart our room”

Amy was glaring at him, red with anger. “That was just for fun, and as you can see we are both fine, so yes I’d say we can take care of ourselves” she directed this at all of them.

“Well sorry if I don’t believe that when you’re so careless with my expensive equipment.” James told her. He probably should have directed that to me. He should also stop multiplying but I think that might be in my mind.

Lily was biting her lip; she looked like she wanted to come to both sides defence but didn’t know what to say. I watched all of it wide eyes, trying to ignore the pain in the back of my head and my increasing dizziness.

Amy turned into a one man arguing machine, yelling at all of them. They argued back. She looked so silly wearing a bathrobe. I was having trouble keeping up with the fight.

Now she was yelling that they don’t take us seriously and Remus was saying how could they? James made a comment about how all women do something, Lily got in then. Amy was getting her feelings out pretty well. I had never realized how hurt she was by how they all treated her after her break up with Remus.

My eyes got misty; what could I do but sit here quietly.

And then something really good happened. No my friends didn’t stop arguing; instead I heard a low coo behind me.

My eyes met yellow ones, with large white eyebrows covering them. It was a small brown owl, covered in white speckles, known a Little Owl.

It was standing on the windowsill, calm and still. I noticed a letter attached to its leg. The letter had my name on it in a familiar script.

I knew who it was from and I knew that the owl was for me.

“Hullo Quinn” I greeted it softly. I had always known what I would name my owl as soon as I owned one.

It hooted quietly in response. I smiled and leaned forward “It’s a bit noisy here, meet me in the 7th year boys dorm” I whispered to it. It spun around on its tiny feet and flew off.

I crawled across the room and snuck out the door. Suddenly I felt much better, my head still throbbed but it wasn’t anything serious. I removed James’s gear on the way and placed it all neatly next to his bed when I got there. It was nice to be in my original date outfit again.

The boy’s window was still open; Quinn flew over and stood at the end of the bed, its feet on the frame. I removed the letter; a little parcel was hidden behind it.

“First thing’s first” I told it “Girl?” I asked while pointing to myself “or Boy?” and I pointed at a pair of boxer’s on the floor next to the bed. The entire room looked like a tornado had swept through it. The owl made a little motion that directed itself to my right.

“Boy” I said smiling.

We regarded each other carefully. I sat down on the bed and began to open the letter.

So my mom had broken my rules I set out to never contact me again. She knew I wouldn’t fall for any sort of ploy to gain my inheritance so I felt it to be sincere, along with a little hope.

I flashed back to my mother crying one day when I was a little girl. Her owl, Cato, a similar and slightly larger one like Quinn, had passed on after many years. We couldn’t afford a new one and she told me she had wanted to give it to me before I set off to Hogwarts.

I can never forgive my mother for what she has done but I can see how it hurt her to not be well off. I wish she had been stronger but I can’t hate her and I can’t reject this wonderful gift. I loved Cato and I already knew I would love Quinn.

The letter was nice. It was very simple; she gave me a brief background on Quinn. Told me that she had hoped I was enjoying the rest of her school year. She mentioned where she was living right now and described the area. I liked that she wasn’t pushing for my forgiveness or filling the letter with apologies, correctly assuming I probably wouldn’t be sending one back. But she did give her address, and wrote that she would probably be settling there for awhile. I knew it was a hint of an offer to visit in the future. Whether I would or not was still up in the air.

I opened the small package. Inside it was a tiny stuffed animal. A Griffin. A little note was attached to it that read Formatted to properly grow with incantation

I was glad I brought my wand with me. I enlarged the stuffed toy. It was very soft with beady eyes.

I felt sleepy again and like a child, I lay down on the bed, clutching the stuffed animal and drifted off to sleep.


The next time I opened my eyes I could hear breathing that was not my own. I sat up, curled up next to me was Amy, sleeping soundly. At the foot of the bed, Lily was sleeping in a little ball. I raised my eyebrows and looked around, suppressing a laugh.

Sleeping head to foot on Remus’s bed was the bed’s owner and James. I wonder how that agreement came about.

“Hullo there” Sirius said from his bed. I looked at him and smiled. He was playing with my new pet and feeding him treat. I carefully climbed over Amy and slipped the griffin into her arms before making my way to Sirius’s bed.

“Here we are again” I said as I crawled on his bed. I stoked the owl’s feathers.

“What’s his name?” Sirius asked me.

“Quinn” I answered not bothering to ask him how he figured out the gender. He can be very intelligent I’ve noticed.

He took a breath “Soooo”

“Soooo” I replied.

“I take it you see we’ve all calmed down a bit”

“Yeah I noticed the sleep over party we’ve got going on”

“We weren’t really angry, we were worried”

I grinned at him “I guess your angry faces confused us”

He tousled his hair, holding back a smile. Quinn hooted a little and flew to the windowsill.

“Spoon me” I ordered.

He laughed and we made ourselves comfortable. “What happened after I left?” I asked.

He kissed the back of my neck lightly. “You mean when you disappeared without saying anything, causing us to worry more”

“Drama Queens, I didn’t go far”

“Well Amy was pretty furious but she had a lot of good points, and it was probably healthy that she and Remus finally had a conversation, even if it involved raised voices. In the end after Lily noticed you gone and we all eventually made it back here, Amy just crawled into bed with you and Lily followed. No one said much of anything but I think nobody really felt angry anymore.”

“Well that’s good” I felt like saying sorry and I think he might of as well. It was better just to pretend we did it psychically rather then say it out load because we both knew how each other felt.

“You looked like a dork clutching your stuffed animal”

“As long as I looked cute also, I can take that”

“The drool was a bit off a turn off”

“Says the snorer” I lied.

“Liar” He’s so smart.


A/N: So that was a bit of a roller coaster ride. I didn’t intend for it to get more serious at the end but that’s how it went when I was writing. Sorry I didn’t include any scenes with them really drunk. I thought the aftermath would be easier to write and understand, as this would be in Paige’s head and it would be cheating if the whole chapter read: gsjfjkl;gjuifsajfijvfklhjg



I’d like some feedback for this, when I end this story, I don’t really want it to be the end of Paige and Amy so I’ve got thought bubbles on a new story set in the future. I’ve got a main character planned out, and a connection that will involve Paige and Amy being in her universe. Buuttttttt, my main character is going to need a male protagonist and I’m a little clueless about where I should go with that

How do people feel about Oliver Wood, or possibly Roger Davies, or maybe I should just create an OC character? I’d really like to know what your thoughts are!

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