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Waiting. I’ve never been any good at it. I swear, I have some sort of disease where I cannot sit still when I’m impatient for something. It doesn’t help that this time, I’m waiting for a girl I love and hope to call mine sometime soon.

Sirius watches me like a hawk, and I think he’s looking for some sign of what Clover may have said to me during our goodbye. He’s only asked me if she knew when she was coming back, which she didn’t because she didn’t know. It strikes me that a reversal of roles may have just taken place with me as Clover’s confident and Sirius as the outsider looking in. I feel sorry for him because that’s not a very good position to be in and especially not when it comes to his sister.

I go to class like a good boy, but I find it impossible to pay attention. Professor Slughorn calls me out on it during a particularly good daydream concerning Clover and a wet t-shirt. Professor McGonagall commands I stop tapping my quill on the hard wood of the desks in her classroom, which I agree to grudgingly.

I wonder what could possibly be taking Clover such a long time. None of the Marauders have heard a word from Peter which means that either he’s been killed or he’s just too lazy to pen a quick note to us. It’s probably the latter although neither options would be unlikely.

My thoughts rest lightly on the whereabouts of Peter until they turn sharply once more to Clover. I’d never thought in my life that I’d find a girl worth waiting for. I figured my girl in the end would be waiting for me. I’d romanticized it to no end. The girl I’d imagined would be waiting for me all her life until I came to her. The girl in my mind ended up being not at all what reality brought me.

It’s funny though because now I can’t sleep. It used to be that in my dreams my soul mate was waiting for me, but now, she’s alive and real in my waking life. Why sleep that away?

Even before she’d left just a few days ago, I never thought I could handle waiting for her. Then I felt her kiss, and I could wait my whole life just to feel something like that again. I think part of my problem was that people find faults in those that keep them waiting. Humans as a whole don’t like to wait. When the person keeping you waiting is so flawed already and keeps all her short comings on show, it’s impossible to find mistakes. Those imperfections make her perfect in my eyes.

I’m only relieved because if I can survive this first bout of waiting, I can survive much, much more. And there will be much more if she continues on this path. I think disjointedly that it’s good she’s amazing at poker. On the other hand, who is it she’s really trying to fool? If she’s lying to us…how could we ever know?

But I can’t think like that.

As I sit across from Sirius on my four poster, I do think about this and everything, until Sirius in typical Sirius fashion interrupts me.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he says. I look up and he seems thrown between awe and disgust.

“What?” I ask confused.

“You,” he shakes his head, “are completely head-over-heels for my sister!”

I groan, “It’s the best and worst thing I’ve ever felt mate. Don’t rub salt in the wound please.”

He falls back on to the bed, apparently in an effort to stop himself from doing just that. “Full moon is tonight.”

“Of course it is,” I say grimly. The one time in my life when I absolutely feel as if any physical anguish would tear me to shreds, I have to deal with it. Alas, the life of being a werewolf.

“What’s her middle name?” I ask suddenly. I don’t know why I want to know. I have a weird inclination for knowing people’s middle names.

Sirius sits up again and cocks his head to his side. I look at him sheepishly. “There are several names…which would you like to know?”

“What?” I splutter. “How many exactly does she have?”

Sirius shrugs. “Her given name is Clover Athena Maria Hawthorne Black.”

I gape. “Hawthorne?” I ask, after a moment of recollection.

“It was my mother’s maiden name.”

“Why don’t you have as many?” I ask.

“Regulus got all the exciting ones. First born you know. What with Clover being the only girl, she got loaded up on all the family female names.”

“Ah,” I say as if this makes complete sense. I’ll never understand the family Black.

“What are we going to do with Peter gone?” Sirius asks.

“Erm…” That is a good question. “Throw rocks at the Whomping Willow until it stops moving?”

Sirius lets loose a bark of laughter. “I forgot for a second why we never let you plan our pranks mate.”

“How could you?” I ask in mock surprise.

Sirius smirks at me, but he quickly sobers. He’s been quite calm lately, and quite frankly, it’s throwing me off.

“What’s with you?” I ask insensitively.

He looks at his hands which are folded in his lap. “I just might know what you feel like Moony.”

I pause. “Excuse me?” I’m more worried than unsure. I’m fairly certain Sirius has never known what it feels like to be me at any point in his adolescent life.

“Emmeline,” he groans. “I can’t get her out of my mind. The thing that I don’t understand is that I’ve been treating her just like any of the other girls, and yet…”

“She’s different,” I offer up pleasantly.

“Yes,” Sirius points at me, head still bowed, “yes, precisely.”

“I never thought I’d say this Pads, but,” I turn over what I’m going to say in my mind and decide its absolute ludicrous. Nonetheless I continue. “…you just may like her.”

“You’ve completely lost it now Moony.” He considers this though as if to be fair through and through. “Actually, you may be right. It’s just that the initial idea struck me as odd at first.”

“It’s more than odd,” I agree.

“Whatever,” Sirius falls back on the bed once more. “I’ve got to stop this madness then. I can’t be falling in love now! We still have a semester left of girls and mayhem. I won’t be reined in, I won’t,” he says stubbornly, like a child.

“I hope Clover doesn’t feel the same way as you,” I say worriedly.

“She’s a Black isn’t she?”

“She’s her own person isn’t she?” I mock.

Sirius snorts.

“We’ve both gone completely off our rocker.”

I couldn’t agree more.









That night is worse than imaginable for me, and it’s definitely worse than most of my transformations. I’m not really sure what I did or what I happened to destroy, but I know when I became me again I felt as though I’d been torn to absolute shreds.

I must have said this out loud because a voice answers me.

“You basically have mate,” James says.

I look down at my thin frame and find it covered with nips, cuts, and bruises. “Are these all self-inflicted?” I ask warily.

“Every last one,” Sirius says with a hint of worry in his voice.

James is dressing my wounds tonight which I don't really appreciate as he is less than gentle, but I'm too tired to protest. 

“Here,” a voice says indistinctly, “let me.” I look to the side and there in the doorway is my girl, my Clover. She’s standing there looking authoritative and calm as if she’s used to cleaning up half naked werewolves in her spare time.

James hands her the ointment and the bandages disconcertingly. He eyes her as if he’s never seen anything quite like her before.

“Clover,” Sirius says, “what are you doing here? It isn’t safe.”

Clover laughs at the irony of this statement. “You find your friend here more dangerous than what I’ve been doing for the past week?”

Sirius looks at her like a small boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “No…”

“Good.” Clover nods to the door, “Close that on your way out.”

Sirius obeys surprisingly, and James throws a log in the fireplace before winking at me as he eases the door shut.

“So,” Clover speaks slowly looking down at my torso. I feel miniscule under her scrutiny. “I always wondered how you got all those scars.”

She leans over me and applies the ointment slowly to each cut before bandaging the bigger ones. She works faster but more nimble than James, and her touch is light. It’s making me feel slightly hazy in fact. I never thought my healing process could be so…exhilarating. In doesn’t help that when she comes to the last one, she bends down and kisses it softly before covering it.

“You’ll be the death of me,” I pant. My conscious state is definitely better than dreamland at this point, but I can’t help it. I’m past the point of exhaustion and past the point of no return. I’m asleep before I can even attempt to stop myself. As I pass into sleep mode I see Clover’s perfectly symmetrical face floating above mine, and I wish groggily that that image would stay with me through the night. 









AN:  Well that was rather fun to write.  And you guys had to know the obligatory chapter about Remus's first full moon with his girl was coming up at some point.  Please, please, please...tell me what you think! =)

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