Credit for this amazing image goes to Roonil Wazlib of tda.
I was early as usual to the Hogwarts Express so of course I was the first Marauder there. I was the first everywhere it seemed like, and sometimes it was slightly annoying. I stood awkwardly with my back to the brick wall, watching my classmates run through the passage to the Platform 9 ¾. It was slightly amusing at times however, to watch some of their faces as they burst through the seemingly solid wall.
Some of them waved at me and asked how my summer had been. I gave short but friendly answers because I wanted a good start to my year, but not so much that I felt the need to be most popular. It was important I stayed in the background as I had my first six years at Hogwarts. If people began to notice me too much, or began to care, they might notice my disappearances once a month more acutely, and they might notice they occurred during the full moon each time. That would be a disaster, and I knew it.
Suddenly a familiar face burst through the passageway, and I realized it was Clover immediately. How could I not with those flashing eyes and crooked smile? I was rewarded with a bright grin when she noticed me, and I returned it as best I could. What was she doing here? She didn’t go to school at Hogwarts…maybe she’d just come to see Sirius off.
“Hello Remus,” she murmured as she approached.
I paused, unsure of myself. “Hello.” I shuffled around a bit, “Where’s your brother?”
“James and Sirius are unpacking the car. They said I could go ahead through the barrier. Such gentlemen,” she said with a glint in her eye.
“Gentlemen,” I agreed although I wondered if we were talking about the same two boys. “I bet you’ll miss Sirius huh?”
Clover gave me an odd, twisted look as if she hadn’t understood so I repeated my last question. She shook her head as if she couldn’t get her head around what I was saying. It really wasn’t that complicated, I thought to myself, but I decided to give up. It didn’t really matter…it had been more of a rhetorical question anyway.
Remus Lupin is currently standing in front of me moving around like he isn’t sure if he should be where he is. He’s an odd boy and not at all how Sirius described him. He has a certain quality to him though that makes me think I can trust him. Of course, I’ve thought that before about my brother Regulus so I might be wrong. In fact, I probably am.
I would talk to him more to put him at ease, and I know I should because he certainly isn’t used to talking to a deaf person. He’s so nervous I can almost feel it radiating off of his skin. It’s just that I’m not exactly used to talking to people like him either. It makes me feel strange to have that power to make him feel that way because he’s rather attractive even with all his scars, and I’m not used to talking to good-looking guys besides my brother who hardly counts.
The first time I saw him, I noticed right away that he held a secret that he wasn’t going to give up easily. That’s one good thing I’ve learned from being deaf. I notice things like that about a person easily because I can’t hear the tone of their voice or the inflections in the words they speak. I have to look elsewhere to learn about a person and how they think, how they feel at the present time.
I’m glad he at least knows he can talk to me. It’d be useful if he knew sign language like Sirius does, but of course, I would never expect that of him or anyone. It took Sirius ages to learn it and Regulus only learned bits of it. My parents never even bothered. It’s important that my brother explain to people we meet that I am deaf, but I can read lips. I haven’t been deaf all my life, so I know the movement of the lips certain words make when they cross them.
Oh no, he’s asking me a question now, and it’s bound to be an awkward one. He’s asking me if I’ll miss my brother. That is an odd question. I know Hogwarts is a big school, but surely I’ll see Sirius once a day at least. I shrug it off although he asks me several more times. That’s the good thing about being non-hearing; I only have to answer if I like the question. That particular question is a dud.
There’s my brother at last. “I see you’ve been chatting up poor Remus here,” he winks at me. He turns to Remus, “Has she been talking your ear off mate?”
Remus shakes his head slowly. I read his lips carefully, “She hasn’t spoken much.” He shrugs as if he expected that.
“Remus asks peculiar questions,” I counter. Remus raises an eyebrow at me as if he wants to argue about whose conversational skills are better but decides better of it as I knew he would. He’s not the confrontational type, which means we are quite different.
“Like what?” Sirius wants to know.
“He seems to think I’ll miss you,” I reply. I know my words are staggering and unclear, but I do my best to sound in control.
Sirius laughs loudly, and I know his happiness is reverberating off the brick walls although I cannot hear it. “Remus,” he says as I watch his lips, “Clover is going to be at Hogwarts this year. She’s been at Beauxbaton all her life because my mother went there and blah blah blah.” He waved a hand around vaguely. “I thought she might want to choose were she goes this time for herself.”
“Oh…you didn’t know,” I realize. I struggle with my words, and it’s not because I’m unsure of myself but because I feel slightly sorry for him.
Remus shrugs in my direction as if to say it doesn’t really matter. He keeps looking at me like he’s never seen anything quite like me. Sirius told me that was exactly what he didn’t want from his friends and that was why he hadn’t told them about me. I still don’t have a clue what he was talking about. I’m still kind of upset with him for keeping me a secret. I told all my friends at my old school about him, and they all wanted to meet him. I’m glad they didn’t though; he’d have broken all their hearts in a week.
James and his parents appear through the barrier at last, and we prepare to say goodbye. Peter Pettigrew, a strange and quiet little boy, follows them through so we pick up our bags and head to the train. Sirius picks out a compartment without even glancing around so I assume the Marauders sit there every year. If they’ve chosen it no one else would dare sit there before they arrived, and I know that because Sirius has told me all about Hogwarts and where he stands there.
Remus stands aside for me and surprisingly takes my bags from me and lifts them into an overhead compartment. I realize then that he’s quite strong, and I wonder vaguely how he got that way. I say thank you with what I hope is gratefulness in my voice. I also hope he doesn’t notice I was staring at him as he shoves my trunk under the seat. Sirius rolls his eyes at Remus but James just smile knowingly in his direction. I wish I knew what was going on here.
I end up perched on the seat between Remus and James while my brother and Peter sit across from them. The four of them chat amiably with a few interjections from me although they keep calling each other strange names that I don’t recognize as any words I’ve ever known. I make a mental note to ask Sirius about that later.
“Guys,” Sirius begins, “Clover needs someone in every class to sit with her…make sure she gets all the directions from the professor. The professors know about her disability, but she doesn’t know anyone and…” Sirius realizes he’s rambling and stops talking. I laugh at him from my seat.
“We’ll do it Sirius,” Peter pipes up beside me. Great, I think. The boy doesn’t look like he could perform the most basic of spells without falling over. Remus nods beside me and James does as well so I immediately feel a bit better.
“I don’t bite,” I promise and slide my eyes over to Remus in a way I know he has to notice. Peter’s just said something that I missed while I was glancing over because Remus shakes his head but James and Sirius are laughing hilariously.
Clover keeps looking at me in that crazy way she has where I feel like she’s reading all my secrets like an open book. It’s driving me slightly insane and Peter tops it all off when he replies “Remus does,” when Clover’s just said that she doesn’t bite. For a moment, I worry she’s heard, but then I think about how stupid that is, and I relax.
“That’s a relief,” I say smiling at her. I know she’s feeling left out because she’s missed the joke. If she only knew how relieved that makes me, maybe she wouldn’t feel so bad.
I’ve noticed that she holds herself like royalty as I’ve come to know Regulus Black to do. I’m accustomed to Sirius’s trademark slouch so I’m caught off guard by her show of confidence. I wonder vaguely if she considers herself better than all others as Regulus does.
I wonder which brother she is more like and I hope to God its Sirius, and I immediately laugh at myself for wishing anyone would be anything like him. He’s a great friend, and there’s no mistake about that, but he’s careless in his words and actions especially when it comes to girls. I’ve noticed though that he’s very careful around Clover as if she might break with a wrong word or action. I wish I knew what has happened to her to make my friend treat her like a porcelain doll.
“So,” Sirius begins, “Remus you can be in Potions and Astronomy with her. Peter, you can take Transfiguration as it’s the only thing you seem to be able to manage. James, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I’ll take what’s left.”
“There’s quite a bit left,” I point out trying to be discrete about the fact that I wish I could have more classes with her. Sirius sees right through the act though.
“She’s my sister,” he says and that’s that. Clover slides her eyes over to examine me for a moment, and I’m sweating it. I think about what she might see with those kaleidoscope eyes of hers and I shiver. She notices, of course, and I’m a fool.
“Are you cold?” she asks quietly. The others don’t notice because they’re talking loudly about what they can do to Snape in order to completely humiliate him this year. I feel bad for him a little bit because all he’s ever done to us is love Lily, but James grudges anyone who does that, and Sirius goes along with anything James wants to do.
I realize I still haven’t answered Clover. “No,” I say, “I’m not cold.”
“You shivered,” she points out succinctly.
“You were staring at me,” I reply. Touché, I think, but it’s too soon for a victory dance.
She examines me subtly before leaning over and saying even more softly, “I bet you’re wondering what I saw.” Where the hell did that come from, I wonder wildly. She’s such a small girl, but she packs quite a punch. I notice all the air in my lungs has suddenly gone.
I realize I don’t know a thing about this girl for the first time, and I wonder what she’s really like without the air of confidence. I’d like to know what she’d be like if she let down her guard for half a second. I don’t grudge her for keeping up a barrier because as a Black, I suppose you have to. The moment you’re born into a family like that you have secrets to guard and a name to uphold. Even with her parents gone, I don’t think she realizes she’s just as human as the rest of us. Well, maybe a bit more than me as I’m a werewolf and all.
“There it is,” she says upon seeing the castle in the distance. “It’s beautiful,” she breathes, completely forgetting about her last comment.
“Yes it is,” I agree, although I can’t figure out whether I mean Hogwarts or her at the moment.
AN: What do you think about Clover? Is she a good OC or a horrible, horrible character that should never have entered the realm of fanfiction? Hehe, let me know either way!
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