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I some how managed to compose myself long enough to practically sprint back to my room, pushing past the few late night stragglers I passed with my head down. I reached my room and threw my self inside, slamming the door shut behind me. I broke down into sobs the second the door was shut, flinging myself onto my bed in a vain attempt to smuggle my uncontrollable wails with my pillows. I cried until I had no more tears, and then, exhausted beyond measure, I fell asleep, not even bothering to change into pajamas or turn the lights off. 

I think I awoke sometime around three in the morning, chilled and shivering, and kicked off my shoes and turned off my light before sinking back into a restless sleep.    

When I awoke for the second time, this time at a more reasonable hour (8:00 to be exact) I didn’t feel much more rested than before but I couldn’t get back to sleep so I shuffled my way into the bathroom and jumped into the shower. While the shower did refresh me a bit, it did nothing to help my sour mood. It was just as I was stepping out of the bathroom, wrapped up in towels, that I heard it; and soft knocking on my door.

“Yes?” I called, with a measure of civility incase it was my parents or some innocent maid. But much to my displeasure, a most hated voice replied to me.
“Lils?” his voice sounded tentative, almost scared.  He had come to beg for forgiveness, I could already tell.
I however, was not ready to forgive him in the slightest. I glared at the door “Go away, James.” 
“Lily, please, just listen. I think last night was all just a big misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding?” I said, hoping he couldn’t pick up on the almost hysterical note running underneath the surface of y voice. “A misunderstanding?! What’s there to misunderstand? You are a stupid, hypocritical oaf, and I never should have gone out with you in the first place. This whole relationship was a huge mistake on my part! Seems crystal clear to me!”

There were a few seconds of silence after my little tirade, then James spoke again his voice a little hoarse, almost as if he were holding back tears.
“Please, Lily, please. I worked so hard to get you to even talk to me. I had to ask Remus for advice and everything. I just don’t understand how all this could have happened. Please Lily, give me a second chance.”
He was on the verge of begging now, and for some reason that just made me madder.
“James Potter. If you know what’s best for you ,you will get away form that door right now. I have no problem with hexing you into oblivion and then stashing you off into some forgotten closet, I’ve had the urge to try out my bat boogey hex lately, and there’s always that nice little storage closet you showed me that day we hid from Buzzkill…” I dropped off into a thoughtful silence.

 Of course I was still only dressed in a towel, but James didn’t know that. I’d hexed him enough times before to be fairly confident that he would take my word for it and back off.

James  seemed to have pulled himself together a bit more when he spoke again.
“Well then, Lily, I suppose that there is nothing I can say to you that will make you see things differently?”
“Nothing at all.”  I confirmed coldly.
“Then what the hell am I doing here?” I heard him say softly, almost to himself, then I heard him retreat down the hallway.

I waited till I was sure he was gone, then I took several deep breaths to calm my self. Once I was sufficiently calmed, I dressed then sat down tow rite a letter to my best friend, Alexis. I realized with a jolt that I hadn’t been keeping her up to date with what had been going on at all. I nearly laughed when I thought about how she would to react to the news of me and James as a couple.

Dear Alexis, I wrote, wondering how to break the news to her

So much has happened since I’ve last seen you, and I bet you would never guess it, even in a million years so I’ll just tell you. I am sure you will probably shriek out loud when you read this but; I dated James Potter. That’s right, the James Potter. But let me start at the beginning, it’s a long story so I will just sum it up as best I can.

My parents took me and my sister on a cruise this summer, a cruise which James Potter and Sirius black are also on. I know, I was stunned when I found out too. A few nights into the trip, something overcame me and I kissed James. After going through a brief spell of denial, I found my self dating James Potter. That is, until last night, when I realized that he was the same arrogant, egotistical, and insensitive boy as he always had been. I have no clue what I saw in him. let me finish this letter with these words; men suck.


                                                                               Lily Evans

P.S. How has your summer been?



I sighed and looked down at the letter I had just written. I knew I would be catching hell in her reply, but it didn’t matter. She’d find out eventually right? So I sent off my letter with Stella, then headed down for lunch.

Much to my pleasure, I saw neither hide nor hair of Sirius or James all the while that I was in the dinning hall. After eating, I decided to go for a dip in the pool up on the top deck. I stayed by the pool all after noon, chatting and flirting with just about any good looking guy I saw.  For some reason I had the overwhelming urge to make James jealous. Around three o’clock, I spotted a familiar head of blonde hair weaving its way through the crowded pool side towards me. 

“Chad!” I called, flagging him down. His face broke into a wide grin when he saw me.
“Hey Lily!” he said as he plopped into the chair next to me. “Just who I was hoping to run into.”
I blushed “You were hoping to find me?”
He smiled “Well who doesn’t always hope for a conversation with a beautiful girl?” I blushed again, Chad was so charming.
“But there actually was a reason I wanted to find you.” He said, turning on his chair to face me in full “I was wondering….” He continued
Was he gonna ask me out? I wondered, I wasn’t sure if I would say yes or not. I swallowed hard and looked up at him. Him and those beautiful, blue eyes.
“If you wanted to go out to dinner tonight?” he finished, looking at me hopefully.

I kept my face blank, trying to make a decision. Chad was nice, but, I realized looking at Chad, I still had some definite feelings for James despite my anger. On the other hand, at the moment I was willing to do anything to make James jealous and what could be better than going out with Chad?

While I had been debating in my head, Chad had become increasingly flustered over my lack of response and was now saying “I mean, I’m not trying to be shallow but it’s just I really liked you… and after your fight with that jerk last night.. er, unless he’s still your boyfriend in which case”
“Chad!” I cut him off he looked up at me, resuming the hopeful look, I smiled at him “I would love to go out with you tonight.”

Chad and I sat together and talked for a while after that, then we got into the pool and splashed around for a bit.  It was fun enough, but a little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that I would be having more fun if it were James. When we finished with the pool around four thirty that afternoon, Chad and I made plans to meet in the dining hall 6:00 to start our date, then departed to our separate rooms. 

Six o’ clock rolled around and Chad and I spent a pleasant evening together. Chad’s company was enjoyable, but we didn’t have much to talk about. We chewed through some small talk and then sat in a rather uncomfortable silence until the waiter brought the check.  Chad walked me to my room, and we halted at the door.
“Dinner was nice.” I said
He smiled “I liked it too. Now how about a hug good night?” he held his arms open expectantly. I was a little uncomfortable with that on the first date, but stepped foreword anyways, hugging him briefly then stepping back. He seemed very reluctant to release me form the embrace. I stepped back into my doorway and groped for the handle behind my back.
“Good night.” I said sweetly, then retreated into my room. 

The next day I received a letter form Alexis.

Dear Lily, she wrote

         Well, I can’t say none of us saw this coming. A lot of us had suspected you and Potter from the beginning. It sounds to me like you and him are made for each other and are just going through a rough patch. I think if you talk it out everything will be ok. So go talk it out, Lily. Because I know you, and I could tell from your letter that you definitely still have feelings for him and we all know he will always be in love with you, no matter what. So go talk to him, I order you! Haha not really, but you two really should talk. Lots of love,



I smiled as I read her letter, how did she always seem to know the perfect solution to every problem? I smiled as I stepped out my room, I was going to find Potter and everything would be ok. I wasn’t sure if we would get back together, but at the very least my conscience could be clearer at least knowing I had tried to talk to him. 

But before I was able to find James, or even Black, I ran into Chad.
“Lily!” called a voice from behind me. I winced and turned around.
“Hey Chad.” I said.
“I had a great time last night, did you?”
I didn’t have time for small talk, I desperately wanted to talk to James, so I said quickly “Yeah I did. But I’m kind of in the middle of some”
But he cut me off. “So I was wondering if you wanted to go out again tonight?” he grinned at me sheepishly. I sighed. 

“I’m sorry, Chad but I’m kind of in the middle of something. And I really did have a nice time last night, but I’m not so sure about tonight.”
His face fell with every word I spoke.  “Oh. Okay then.” He said , looking at his toes.
“I have to go.” He said, and promptly left. I regretted having to hurt him, but James was my main priority at the moment. 

A few minutes later I found Sirius in the food court, scarfing down a hamburger.
“Lily!” he said in surprise when he saw me. “What are you doing here?” I sat down across form him.
“I’m looking for James, Sirius. Have you seen him?” Sirius ignored my question.
“Have you tried these?” he asked through a full mouth, waving his half eaten burger in my face.
I pushed it away “Yes Black, I have. Now do you know where James is?”
Sirius swallowed “Maybe” he said smirking.
I sighed, exasperated. “Tell me, black.”
His smirk grew wider. “Ok, ok, I’ll tell you…. If you do something for me first.”
I rolled my eyes. “What?”
“Say ‘Sirius black is the hottest man on earth’ and I just might  tell you where James is.” 

I rolled my eyes, pondering weather the humiliation was really worth it. I decided it was. “Sirius Black is the hottest man on earth.” I said in a dull monotone.
Sirius grinned “No, lily, put some feeling into it!”
“Sirius Black is the hottest man on earth. Now tell me where he is, Black!”
Sirius, who was now cackling with laughter, pointed behind me. I whirled around and found James a few feet behind me doubled over in silent laughter. I fumed, wondering how long he had been there.

“Come on, Potter!” I barked, sounding scarily like Professor McGonagall “We need to have a little chat.”

A/N Hey all. i really dont have much to say at the moment so i'll stick to my usual speech of i hope you enjoyed the chpater and please review!!!

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