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Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns any characters and places you recognise. I'm just a humble writer trying to make part of the wonderful world she's creating my own.

Summary: The world gets wind of the parties. The partygoers simply don't care, but that doesn't mean that nobody else does. We meet our characters in their current situations, and see that just because there is no "Dark Lord", Hogwarts is certainly not at rest.

Song: Title of this chapter and the lyrics used are from the song New Slang by The Shins.

Author Notes: This is the first real chapter of this story (which was originally called Epicene), and I'm pleased to have finally finished it. I think I've half fallen in love with this generation, even though I was wary at first. Screw that, I have fallen in love with it. This fic features sex, heavy drug use and slash. Fairy dust is basically a wizarding form of crack, and Screechsnap is basically a wizarding form of weed (JKR invented the plant, but not for that purpose, haha). I hope you like this, and where it goes!

[James Potter and Lily Potter, worried siblings]
credit to the almighty SaphiraLupin at TDA!

Chapter One - New Slang

I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields... am I too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like, well -
I'd 'a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.



The wizarding world were shocked five years ago when the famous Harry Potter’s second son was Sorted into Slytherin, writes Paris Monroe, special correspondent. Now, however, even more shocking news seems to have come from the walls of Hogwarts, which The Daily Prophet can exclusively reveal.

If you remember back four years ago, I took delight in reporting that Albus had formed a close friendship with none other than Scorpius Malfoy, son of Harry Potter’s school rival, Draco. This unlikely bond, however, seems to have led to disaster.

Several current Hogwarts students, who wish to remain anonymous, have told me of the current image of the Slytherin house. A group containing sixth and seventh years are constantly partying, taking drugs and acting thoroughly immoral. They are said to be drunk on Firewhisky more often than not, and also are heavy users of ‘fairy dust’ and Screechsnap.

 These dangerous and addictive drugs, however, aren’t the worst part of this terrible news. Albus Potter, son to the wizarding world’s favourite Auror, is said to be in the thick of this horrifying mess. What Harry Potter thinks of his middle child taking drugs is unknown - he has refused to give comment.

All we know now, my faithful readers, is that I will do my best to dish out the dirt and keep you up to date with the scandals unfurling before my very eyes.



“You disgust me,” the red-haired girl commented, raising a single, slim red eyebrow as she gazed at the blonde boy. “I’m surprised you’re still allowed at this school. I heard you got kicked out of the Astronomy N.E.W.T. at last, yesterday.”

“The rumours are true,” the blonde boy sighed, putting a theatrical hand to his forehead. He lowered his hand and winked at the girl, smirking. “Why, will you miss me, Red?”

“Hardly,” she replied, tossing her thick hair over one shoulder. “Anyway, I didn’t come over here to be annoyed by you. I came to show Albus something important.”

“Important?” Albus asked, weakly, raising his head from his hands. Rose wrinkled her nose at the sight of him, all bloodshot eyes and pale skin, and threw down a newspaper on the table before him. Albus blinked blearily at it, as though he had no comprehension of what it was. “What’s up, Rose? Why do I care about The Daily Prophet?”

“Look at page four, and you’ll see why you should care,” she sighed, dropping into the seat next to him. Several of the Slytherins looked outraged, but she ignored them. When Albus merely yawned, she poked him sharply in the shoulder. “Listen to me, Albus. Read page four.”

“Page four,” Albus mumbled, unfolding the paper and turning to it. “I don’t see what -”

“Shit, mate, that’s not when of our best photos, is it?” Scorpius asked, resting his chin on Albus’s shoulder, a definite tone of amusement in his tone. “I wonder when that was taken.”

Indeed, there was an extremely unflattering picture of the pair of them, taking up a quarter of the page. Scorpius was flushed and laughing, head tossed back. His arm was around Albus, whose pupils were dilated and whose face wore a rather manic smile. Quite evidently, they were both smashed on alcohol and goodness knows what else. The caption of the picture, much to Albus’s alarm, read; Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy - ringleaders of the doomed generation?

“What are they on about, ‘doomed generation’?” Scorpius enquired to nobody in particular, sliding into the seat next to Albus and pulling the newspaper from him. “Here we go; The wizarding world were shocked five years ago … blah, blah, we know all this … a close friendship with none other than Scorpius Malfoy … hoorah, at least they’re getting some of the facts right nowadays …constantly partying, taking drugs and acting thoroughly immoral … it makes it sound a lot more fun than it actually is, doesn’t it? … What Harry Potter thinks of his middle child taking drugs … I’m sure the bloke’s thrilled … scandals unfurling before my very eyes … wow, fourth page! That has to be record. Someday we’ll be on the front, Allie, I promise.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Albus said, shaking his head as though having too much information piled upon him at once. “What are they on about? Drugs? My Dad? Slow down, and read it out, would you?”

Scorpius rolled his eyes, and began, in a dreadfully monotonous voice, “The … wizarding … world … was …

“You are beyond annoying,” Rose hissed, through gritted teeth. She snatched the paper from Scorpius and straightened it, clearing her throat. She read through the article perfectly, though there was a definite inflection of worry in her voice at the words.

When she had finished, she threw the paper back onto the table, shaking her head. “You have to stop, Albus.”

“Stop what?” Albus asked, shrugging and reaching for some toast. “None of it’s true.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” Rose said, sharply. “I’ve seen you when you’re high on God knows what. You’ve invited me to loads of your beloved Slytherin parties. The article doesn’t know half of what you lot get up to, and if they do, the consequences will be dire. You realise there will probably be an investigation now, by the school governors? Not to mention your parents. What will they say?”

“They won’t do anything, Red,” Scorpius laughed, knicking a slice of toast from Albus’s hands. “Anyway,” he continued, thickly, as he bit into it, “there’s no point you getting involved. Scurry off and be a good Gryffindor, yeah?”

“Don’t you dare tell me what to -”

“Rose, come on,” Albus sighed, nudging her in the shoulder to distract her from tearing Scorpius’s blonde head from his body. “It’s not that bad. Nobody cares. It’s just some jumped-up journalist who’s getting all this ‘inside information’ from her equally jumped-up daughter. It’s pathetic and annoying, yes, but nothing’s going to happen.”

She stood up, glaring at him through her brown eyes. “That may be so. I don’t care about the press. You lot will get what you deserve if you carry on. But you’ve forgotten one thing - the family will care.”

“As if they’ll ever find out it’s the truth,” Scorpius snorted, and then fixed her with a stern look. “And you’re not going to tell them, either, are you?”

“This doesn’t involve you,” she hissed back, tossing her hair over her shoulder again. “You are so childish.”

“That’s not what your Mum said last night,” Scorpius called after her, as she stalked away. Albus started to laugh, and his friend sent him a questioning look.

“The thing is, Scorpius,” Albus chuckled, brushing his dark hair from his green eyes. “That’s exactly what Aunt Hermione would say.”

“Oh, you and your boring family.” Scorpius glanced over at Rose’s retreating back and wrinkled his nose. “I hate your cousin so much.”

“As if I hadn’t gathered that already,” Albus groaned, running a tired hand over his face. “Listen, mate, she’s alright. She just doesn’t want to be involved in all the parties and stuff that we’re involved in. She’s family. She’s just concerned.”

“One man’s concern is another man’s nosiness,” Scorpius quipped, tapping his nose wisely. “Talking of nosiness, come to think of it - what do you reckon to this newspaper business? Think we’ve finally been found out and they’ll stop us?”

“Hardly,” Albus snorted. “Whatever dirt they have on us, my dad can smooth it over. Everyone might think I’m the worst Potter ever to live, but I’m still a Potter, aren’t I? No one’ll do anything to us.”

“And you claim to be modest,” Scorpius sighed, fondly messing up Albus’s hair. He stood up, casting a cool glance over the hall and running a hand through his blonde hair. “Reckon we should head for Transfiguration now? Professor Langley is the hottest teacher in the school, and you know how pleased she gets when we’re early.”

Albus grinned, standing up and pulling his bag over his shoulder. “Sounds good. Only thing is, we have Charms now.”

“Oh,” Scorpius faltered, before shrugging and winking. “Never mind, eh? Professor Lupin is hardly an eyesore, is he?”




“I look like trash, don’t I?” Ava Bodley mused, pouting at her reflection in the mirror. She fluffed up her black hair, turning to see it from another angle. Her high cheekbones were stained with blusher, and her eyelids were lathered with green eyeshadow. Her hazel eyes narrowed, scrutinising her body for any fault. “Come on, girls, be honest. It‘s our first class with Lupin this year and I want to make sure I look good.”

“Honest?” questioned one of the girls, irritation heavy in her voice. “Honestly, we’re five minutes late to Charms as it is. Stop getting yourself pretty for Professor Lupin and fishing for compliments. Let’s just go, already.”

“Just jealous, isn’t she?” Ava murmured to herself, pinching her naturally pale cheeks to make them even more red. She straightened up, tossing her long hair over her shoulder and glaring at the girl who had spoken. “Alright, Rebecca. Let’s go, if we must.”




“Morning, boys,” Professor Lupin smiled, as Albus and Scorpius arrived in the Charms classroom. Teddy Lupin was a young, cheerful man with the rare talent of being a Metamorphmagus. Scorpius and Albus settled themselves at their usual spots at the back of the classroom, glancing over at the Ravenclaws and few Slytherins who were already present. Teddy followed them, running a hand through his currently-dark hair.

“How’s the family, Albus?” he murmured to his student, smiling. He was godson to Albus’s father, and so he had always known the Potters very well, coming over to dinner most nights of the week. “Sorry I couldn’t come round a lot this summer. Victoire and I had a longer honeymoon than we’d intended.”

“They’re alright, I guess,” Albus shrugged, uncomfortably. He loathed having a teacher so close to his parents, but Teddy was likable, so Albus could never be blatantly disrespectful, even if he wanted to be. “How was the honeymoon?”

“Perfect, cheers,” Teddy grinned, eyes glazing over with the memories. Shaking himself, he glanced around at the class, and shrugged. “Looks like we’ll begin without those missing. Scorpius, you can have the privilege of choosing what I look like today. You always do complain that I never pick you.”

“Cheers, Sir,” Scorpius smirked, with a wink at his friend. Albus felt an ominous, dreading feeling, and winced as Scorpius continued. “Slim, nice cheekbones, dark hair and a nice arse?”

The class erupted into laughter, most of the girls giggling. Some of the boys, however, frowned and muttered amongst themselves, staring suspiciously at Scorpius. Teddy, however, tossed back his head and joined in the laughter. In a moment, a handsome young man had taken his place, as Scorpius had described him as.

“Dashing, Sir,” Scorpius smiled, giving the teacher a thumbs up. Teddy shook his head incredulously, and strolled to the front of the class. He looked around at the students, opened his mouth to begin the lesson, but was cut off as the door slammed open and three girls ran in.

“Sorry we’re late, Sir,” the first one wheezed, clutching her ribs and bending over double. “We forgot what time it was. Won’t happen again.”

“Very well. Sit down, Ava, Rebecca and -” Teddy came to the third girl and blinked, a crease appearing between his eyebrows “- Sandra? I’m surprised you’re late. You’re usually here early.”

From his tone, it was clear to the class that he meant to ask why on earth Sandra Terry, the classy Ravenclaw, was with the more common-seeming girls, Ava Bodley and Rebecca Locke. Sandra merely shrugged, and tucked a lock of her brown her behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Sir. I got held up.”

“Never mind,” Teddy sighed, turning back to the class. “Sit down, you three, and we can begin.”

The three girls went to their respective seats, and Teddy began writing the instructions for the class on the board. Ava, sitting at the desk in front of Scorpius and Albus, turned around, smiling. Albus grinned back, and she leant forward, kissing him full on the mouth. Scorpius groaned and looked away, eyes flickering over the other occupants of the room.

The two of them had been dating for five months now. Some said they were the perfect couple, others couldn’t see why there were together. Ava, it was said, came from a rough background. Her Northern accent contributed to this belief, but nobody knew for sure. She never spoke much of her family, and nobody asked. Albus, on the other hand, was wealthy and had been bought up in a beautiful mansion in Devon. He was said to be sophisticated and superior to most. The two of them seemed destined to be opposites. Yet, they had lasted for five months and claimed to still be going strong.

When Ava pulled back, she smooth a few strands of hair from her eyes, smiling. “That awful Sandra Terry girl wanted to know more about the party tonight. Why would I let a posh bitch like her know anything? Honestly. Anyway, are you going to it, Scorpius?”

Scorpius stared at her as though she were insane, which he often professed she was. “Ava, dear, of course I’m going. I always go.”

“Good,” Ava grinned, running a hand through her black hair. “I’ve got this girl for you to get with. She’s really pretty and I’m sure you’ll get on. Fifth year, but still.”

“For the last time, I don’t need setting up with people,” Scorpius grumbled, folding his arms. “You know that everyone flocks to me. I’m in such high demand that there’s no point even asking if I’m free at a party. Anyway, what’s the girl like? If she’s as insufferable as the last, the answer is no.”

“She’s fine,” Ava dismissed, with a wave of her hand. “You’re so up your own arse though, I’m surprised you can talk. People don’t flock to you.”

“Actually, they do,” Albus admitted, speaking up for the first time. “Whenever we walk in he’s mobbed by desperate singles. I’m always left alone.”

“That’s because you’re dating me, and nobody wants to feel my wrath,” Ava said, fondly. “Really, you’re a lot more respectable. It’s a good thing, don’t sound so disappointed.”

“It’s a lot less fun though,” Scorpius laughed, patting Albus sympathetically on the back. “Seriously, freelance is better all the way.”

“You’ll pick up an infection someday soon,” Ava warned, shaking a finger at the blonde boy. “You should be more careful. When I used to go with my mum to work at the hospital, you’d be surprised at the amount of people who are ill because they’ve had so much unprotected -”

“Fascinating as the subject of Scorpius’s dangerous sexual activity seems to be,” came a pleasant, male voice that caused the three of them to wince simultaneously, “I’m afraid we are in a lesson. Thirty points from Slytherin.”

“But Sir -”

“No protests, Ava.”

“Sir, if you could just -”

“Scorpius, you know full well that pout doesn’t work on me. Now, you three be quiet and pay attention.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thank you, Albus. Now, as I was saying, this year non-verbal spells are going to be of utmost importance in nearly all of your lessons, and -”

“You’re such a creep, Allie.”

“I am not, just because you’re -”

“Boys! That is enough!”

“Sorry, Sir.”

“Yeah, sorry Teds.”

“Scorpius, I thought you were going to stop calling me that this year? It’s ‘Sir’, or ‘Professor’.”

“Sorry, Sir.”

“Very well. Now, Scorpius, perhaps you can tell me why non-verbal spells are important to use?”

“Well, Teds, they’re -”






Scorpius made his way to the armchairs in the Slytherin common room, humming cheerily to himself. Teddy Lupin had yelled at him, yes, but it was still a bright day. It was the third day of the first term of his sixth year, and it was a Friday. That meant, of course, only one thing. A welcome back party for whoever was invited.

Milo Eights lounged in one of the armchairs, coolly looking around at all of the new, excitable first years. He had grown, Scorpius had to admit, into quite a handsome young man. Of course, he’d never say so out loud because everybody assumed he thought himself the only worthy looking boy in Slytherin. Mostly, he did.

“Milo,” Scorpius sang, sitting on the arm of the chair. Milo looked up, narrowing his dark blue eyes suspiciously. “Milo, love, what are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing particularly interesting, why?”

Milo’s voice was curious, but cold. Scorpius shrugged, moving closer to the haughty boy. “There’s a party. Dexter’s managed to get the usual stuff. I was wondering if you wanted to go.”

Milo pulled a face, shaking his auburn curls. “I’m not feeling up to it, I’m afraid.”

Scorpius inwardly sighed, but outwardly he slid next to Milo, smirking. He let his hand fall on the boy’s thigh, and ran his lips across the smooth jaw. Into Milo’s ear, he murmured, “Please? I want you there.”

Breath hitching, Milo smiled, though he glanced around to ensure nobody was watching. “Oh, alright. If you insist.”

“I do,” Scorpius laughed, planting a quick kiss on Milo’s cheek. He straightened up, brushing down his robes. “I’ll see you tonight then, shall I? Normal place, around eight.”

“See you,” Milo smiled, shaking his head incredulously, a slight tinge to his olive cheeks. “Honestly, Scorpius, someday that kiss of yours is going to get you into trouble.”

“I look forward to it,” Scorpius winked, saluted Milo brightly, and left. He started humming to himself again, pleased. He couldn’t understand quite why he had a charm over everybody, and why people did what he said, but he was going to use it to it’s full advantage. Why shouldn’t he, after all?




James grimaced. The sounds of his siblings crying had always cut deeply into him, and today was no exception. Lily sat on the desk, sobbing into a tissue, her red hair long down her back. Her Gryffindor robes were soaked with tears and her fourth year body was racked with grief.

All in all, James decided, with gritted teeth, he wasn’t having a good day.

First of all the showers hadn’t been working in the dormitory, and he’d had to go without. Then he’d been accosted by Professor Longbottom for missing Herbology the day before, and had been given a detention - he was sure it was only so that Professor Longbottom could show he didn‘t favour the Potters. Next he’d opened the newspaper at breakfast, to find that Albus’s lifestyle habits were out in the open, with his father’s name dragged in. He blamed that stupid Scorpius Malfoy, who had corrupted Albus from the very beginning.

Now, Lily was in hysterics and he just couldn’t work out why. The day was getting better and better.

Tentatively, he placed a hand on his little sister’s shoulder, frowning. She gave a deep, shuddering breath and looked up, glancing around the otherwise empty classroom. “I - I’m sorry, James. I don’t mean to - to get upset.”

“Don’t be silly,” James said, soothingly. “Just tell me what’s wrong. Nothing can be that bad, can it?”

“Is Albus going to die?” she asked, bluntly. As James stared at her, she rubbed the tears from her cheeks and looked up, fiercely. “Tell me, James, are these drugs and parties going to kill him? People in my class have been saying -”

“Don’t listen to what anybody in your class says,” James interrupted, sharply. “None of what the papers have reported is true. You know Albus would never live like that. It’s just lies.”

“I’m not blind, James,” Lily hissed, hands curling into fists. “I’m fourteen years old. I know full well what goes on in this school; everybody does. Albus and Scorpius hardly hide it, do they? Anyway, I walked in on him this summer sniffing something up that couldn’t be anything other than fairy dust.”

James gazed at her for a moment, and then looked away, furious. He knew Albus was stupid in the first place for doing what he did, but to do it in the house? It was as though he wanted to be caught. Miserably, he looked up and replied, “If you know it’s the truth, why do you need to ask me about it?”

“I want to know how serious it is,” she replied, evidently pleased she was being treated like an adult at last. “I know fairy dust is said to be addictive, and I know he’s a heavy user. I know he parties all the time. I know he drinks all the time. But will it hurt him?”

“I’m sure he’ll be -”

“I want the truth, James,” she warned, scowling. “Don’t bother trying to comfort me if you’re going to lie.”

“Fine,” he snapped, irritably folding his arms. “It could be dangerous, yes. But so far, he seems in good health. He’s still an amazing Beater and his grades are still good. It looks like he’s in perfect shape. As for the future - I’ve no idea, I’m afraid.”

“Alright,” Lily sighed, drying her cheeks again. “Good. Thanks for telling me. Oh, and look after him, won’t you? Everybody knows he looks up to you.”

James snorted. “Hardly. But come on, let’s get to lunch. Your friends will be wondering where you are.”

“Okay,” Lily agreed, making her way to the door. She glanced back when she reached it, and frowned. “Are you coming, or what?”

“Just give me a minute, Lily,” James smiled, glancing around the classroom. “I just need to think about what I’m going to say to Albus next time I see him.”

“Good idea,” Lily nodded, and left without another word. Before she had shut the door however, James heard her squeak, “Oh, hello Albus! What are you doing on this corridor?”

“Walking back from class, surprisingly,” Albus was heard to laugh. “What about you?”

“Ooh, who have you been snogging in there?” came another voice, that James placed as Scorpius Malfoy’s. “Let’s have a look, then.”

“I’m not snogging anybody, I was talking to James,” Lily giggled, in a way that made James’s skin crawl. He loathed the fact that everybody changed underneath the charm of Scorpius, even his own siblings. Striding over to the door, he threw it wide open, and glared down at the two Slytherins.

“Oh, hey James,” Albus smiled, good-naturedly. “How’re you?”

“I’m fine,” James grunted, grabbing his younger brother’s arm. “I need a word with you in here. In private, too, so you can piss off, Scorpius.”

“Macho, aren’t you?” Scorpius asked, indifferently. “I had no intention of coming into their with you, anyway. I’m starving and I’m off to eat lunch. See you later, Allie.”

“See you,” Albus sighed, as James dragged him into the classroom. He shrugged him off once the door was shut, folding his arms. “What the hell is wrong, James? You’re such a bastard to Scorpius. He’s done nothing wrong.”

“Don’t even get me started on all the things he’s done wrong in his life, because we’ll be here all day.”

“Just because he’s a Malfoy, he isn’t a bad person! Stop being so -”

“I didn’t come in here to discuss your precious boyfriend, so stop it.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Albus laughed, shaking his head. “What did you want, then?”

“You know I’ve never interfered with your parties and whatever else, because it’s your life and you’re free to fuck it up, yeah?” James asked, and when Albus nodded, slowly, he went on. “It’s just that it’s affecting everyone else now. Lily’s upset and Mum and Dad will be furious. It’s in the newspapers. It’s gotten out of hand, and I think you should stop.”

“Well, we’ll just tell Mum and Dad it’s a lie, and everything will be fine,” Albus replied, promptly. Evidently, he had prepared the argument. “Like you said, it’s my life. We don’t do anything stupid and we don’t hurt anyone else. The drugs are only taken sparingly, I swear. We’re just having fun.”

“I can’t stop you doing it,” James admitted, running a hand through his dark hair. “But Mum and Dad can’t find out. We’ll both be killed if they do. Don’t get yourself talked about, and don’t let anymore pictures be taken, alright? If this gets any worse I’ll step in properly.”

“Oh, fine, fine,” Albus replied, bracingly. “Now, can I get to lunch, please? I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, sure.” James smiled, leading the way out of the room. “God knows you need some food in you, you weedy git.”




Flicking a stray blonde hair from his grey eyes, Scorpius blew a kiss at his reflection. He was well aware of the vanity of such a gesture, but nobody was in the room, and anyway, it was fun to feel sexy. He smoothed down his t-shirt, labelled with the words “Sex Kitten” (he had loved seeing the resigned expression on his father’s face when he’d come home with it), and gave his reflection one last wink.

With that, he left the dormitory and headed down the stairs. He made his way straight out of the dungeons, stopping for nobody, and stepped the familiar path to the party. The Room of Requirement was his favourite place in the whole castle, and held more memories of passion and fun than he could count.

As he emerged from the dungeons into to the Entrance Hall, he cast a quick look around. It was empty aside from a gaggle of seventh year Gryffindor girls, which included, much to Scorpius’s dismay, Rose Weasley. Holding his chin high, he stalked past her, taking care to show no indication of having noticed her.

Out of the corner of his high, he noticed that she glared haughtily at him as he passed, hands on her hips. He just knew she would tell James Potter about this the moment she could. Feeling very much hateful against both of Albus’s relations - though he did think Lily was quite sweet - he made his way up through the school to the seventh floor corridor.

Scorpius knew perfectly well that James Potter hated him back, though he couldn’t understand why. He’d been nothing but a good and loyal friend to Albus, and the two of them were equally involved in drugs and alcohol. In fact, it had been Albus who had been the first to try Screechsnap in third year, and it had all progressed from there. Yet James glared whenever Scorpius passed, and insulted him whenever was in earshot. Albus defended him, of course, but it was still dreadfully annoying.

“Jealous git,” Scorpius sighed to himself, as he finally reached the seventh floor corridor. He went to the wall behind which he knew the party would be in full swing, and ran a hand through his blonde hair, walking past the stretch of wall three times. Opening his eyes, he saw the familiar door, grinned, and opened it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve arrived,” he beamed, stepping in and shutting the door behind him.

That was when the screaming began.



A/N:  I hope you liked chapter one! It was great fun to write. Also, I'd love for you to review. I'm always thrilled to hear what people think of plot/characters/etc. Thanks for reading!


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