I rubbed my temples, then leaned forward to grab my wand. The other night had left me in a complete daze. I realized that I no longer wanted Sirius.. Not in that way. I wanted him to be my friend, I wanted to be with him, but I wasn't interested in him romantically. That's all our relationship would ever come to; just friends. It pained me to say this because I could tell that he did in fact like me. But it wasn't fair to him for me to pretend to like him; he deserved someone better, someone who could actually give part of their heart to him. I couldn't do that.
Then there was James. He had seemed so pained, so distant when I had told him all this. Did he feel bad for his best friend? Or was it some other emotion that I didn't know of? I tried not to think about him much, I already had enough on my mind.
I groaned as I continued to rub my temples. I felt like shite today. My head was throbbing, my neck was stiff, I had a runny nose and I was pretty sure I was working up a fever. But I refused to believe I was sick. Tonight was Hogsmeade night! I, Head Girl, could not be absent from the even that I had planned!
I flopped back on my bed, then pulled the covers up to my chin. I could do with a little more sleep, right? Surely I'd feel better afterward..
After tossing and turning restlessly, I finally managed to doze off.
What felt like minutes of sleep turned out to be hours. I stumbled out of bed and quickly threw on some clothes. It was six thirty, a half hour left before the big Hogsmeade trip. I ran a brush through my hair, thankful that I had showered earlier today. I still felt sick, my head felt thick and my nose was still stuffed. Instead of a fever, I now had the shivers. I threw on a pair of jeans, my boots, and a thick sweater. I grabbed my jacket, hat, and scarf and put them on, but I was still cold. I ignored this and quickly ran out the dorm room, then made my way to the Great Hall.
As I looked around the Great Hall, I spotted the small group standing by the entrance. Sirius was leaning casually against the wall, a bored expression on his face and his arms crossed across his chest. Remus was standing beside him, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket; it appeared to be stuck. I spotted James a few feet away from them, talking to a small first year. He looked different today, but I wasn't sure why. After staring at him for a moment, I realized it was because he was wearing a black long sleeve; I'd never seen him in black.
I plastered a smile on my face, then walked towards the group.
"Hi guys," I said. I saw that James had finished talking with the first year, who was now looking sad, and was making his way back to the group.
Sirius walked towards me and threw an arm around my waist. "Hello yourself. You're not looking too well, are you sick?"
I sniffled. "A bit."
Sirius pressed his hand against my forehead than frowned. "You're a bit hot. Are you sure you're okay?"
I forced a smile. I would give the world if I could go back to bed and lie down. "I'm fine, really. Just a bit of a cold is all."
Sirius looked uncertain for a moment, then finally smiled. "Ah, well okay. I'll trust that Prongs'll take good care of you tonight. Don't listen much to Moony though, he tends to get a bit loopy after his second butterbeer."
Remus glared at Sirius. "I do [i]not[/i] get loopy after two butterbeers!"
Sirius ignored him and turned towards James, "Take care of her, okay?"
Remus muttered something incoherently under his breath. I smiled slightly, then looked up at James. His eyes were on me, and the second I looked up, our eyes locked immediately. He had beautiful, hazel eyes. They were swirling with colour and made me slightly dizzy. He had dizzy eyes, I decided. They were brown with flecks of green and gold swirling around in them.
"Sure thing," James replied, now looking at Sirius. "But I have to say, we're [i]all[/i] going to be in danger after Moony's gotten loopy."
"I do not get loopy!"
"It's beautiful," I breathed.
Hogsmeade looked even more magical than usual. A gentle sheet of white snow covered the town, and the lights twinkled brightly against the black of the night. Set up at the Three Broomsticks was a chance to go sleigh riding down the hills that surrounded the town. Many students were lined up and were eagerly awaiting their turns.
On the other side of town, near Madame Puttifoots, was a fortune telling booth set up. The line consisted mostly of chatty girls, but I made a mental note to stop by and have my fortune taken. As usual, many were heading over to Honeyduke's and Three Broomstick, and an occasional few over to Zonko's. It was only the couples that seemed to be walking hand and hand down the street, just enjoying the moment and being together. It made me wonder if I'd be doing the same if I were with Sirius.
"This is all your doing," James said kindly.
I smiled at him. "I can't take full credit for this. After all, it was your idea to have this."
"Ah, correct," James replied, a boyish grin plastered across his face. "But you were the one that spent hours doing nothing but perfecting every last detail."
I blushed a delicate pink, and was immediately thankful that it was cold. Hopefully, my pink cheeks could be mistaken for being cold, not a blush.
I looked down at my hands and noticed that they were slightly red from the cold. I rubbed them together, hoping the friction would warm up my hands. It didn't work. Why hadn't I brought gloves with me?
"Would you like to borrow mine?" James asked, breaking my train of thought.
"Oh, er," I smiled clumsily at him. "No, I'm fine. Besides, you're hands'll get cold."
He eyed my faintly coloured red hands. "Are you sure? I'll be fine, honest. My hands don't tend to get that cold. You're also sick, so it wouldn't be a good idea to leave you cold."
I smiled thankfully at him as he took his gloves off and handed them to me. They were the type of gloves that was leather at the top of your hand, but cotton where you're palm would be. They were a black colour and slightly large on me, but they felt very nice against my freezing skin.
"Thank you." I replied.
He smiled at me. "Anytime."
We walked in silence for a bit, taking in our surroundings. It was truly beautiful, and I decided that I liked being here with James and Remus. After a while, Remus finally broke the silence.
"Shall we go to The Three Broomstick first?" Remus asked. "I'm rather thirsty and wouldn't mind a warm, toasty environment."
"Yes, let's." James replied.
We stepped into the warm pub and made our way to an empty booth. I sat on one side, and Remus and James sat opposite from me. I felt a twinge of loneliness, but I dismissed the feeling.
"Hello boys," Madame Rosemerta appeared at our side. She was a very good looking waitress, with blonde ringlets, honey coloured eyes and a slim, curvy figure. She was the main reason as to why so many men dropped by here. "I see we have a new addition to the group," Rosemerta said as she turned her attention to me. "Nice to see a lass amongst you boys. Incidentally, where is the rest of the group?"
"Sirius got himself banned and Peter has himself a date," James replied. "And this here is Sirius's girlfriend, Lily Evans."
I smiled at Rosemerta as she shook my hand. "So nice to meet Sirius's girl! He hasn't had too many girlfriends ever since that awful Vance girl. That's so typical of Sirius to get himself banned though.. And Peter finally managed to grab himself a girl? Who's the lucky girl?"
"Marlene McKinnon." Remus filled in.
Rosemerta smiled. "Aw, she's a pretty girl. A bit hyper at times, but very sweet. Anyway, a round of butterbeer good for you?"
"Sounds great." James said.
I watched as Rosemerta walked towards the counter to get us our butterbeer. I was a bit annoyed that James had introduced me as "Sirius's girlfriend". I was more than that to him, right? I wasn't just his best friend's girl, I was his friend as well.. At least I hoped.
James and Remus talked about the last Quidditch match until Rosemerta came back with our drinks. I had stayed quiet the entire time, just stealing glances every now and then from James and Remus from the corner of my eye.
Rosemerta set down our drinks and I reached for mine, taking a large sip.
After many butterbeers, we were all slightly tipsy (save for James) and making our way out of the pub, the cold air hitting us as we walked out of the warm atmosphere.
"What do you want to do?" I asked, or slurred. I had drunk six glasses of butterbeer.
James, the responsible one of the group, held my hand and guided me as I continued to tilt sideways. "Anywhere, you choose."
"Fortune tellers!" Remus exclaimed, then burst out laughing. He was the looniest out of all of us, even though he only had four butterbeers.
For some reason, I started to laugh too. Was laughing always this contagious? I couldn't remember. I couldn't think that well either. I was sure that I was leaning into James a little too much, but I didn't care. He felt good against me, and his hands around my hand and the other around my elbow made me feel warm and happy.
"Let's go!" I said and quickened my pace.
James quickened his as well to catch up with me. "Go a little slower Lily; I don't want to get murdered by Sirius when I bring you back all scratched up and hurt."
I stuck my tongue out at him. I was suddenly aware of the fact that my face was very close to his and that the tip of my tongue was nearly touching his cheek. "You're a mud in a stick."
"I think you mean stick in a mud." James corrected.
I thought for a second. "Whatever.. Just get me to the fortune teller!"
"What are you two blabbing about?" Remus slurred beside me.
James rolled his eyes. "Nothing. Let's just go to the booth and get this over with."
After many lame jokes, a few trips, and a couple quick stops at different stores, we finally found ourselves in front of the fortune teller's booth. There wasn't a line, everyone was already on their way to the horse sleighs, so Remus went in first, leaving James and I sitting on the bench outside.
I had my head leaned against his shoulder, breathing in his scent. Our thighs were slightly touching, and our hands were merely an inch apart from each other.
I brought my hand closer to his, then took hold of them.
"You're hands are freezing." I whispered. I don't know why I whispered, it just seemed appropriate.
James chuckled softly. "I gave my gloves to you."
"Do you want them back?" I asked.
"No, keep them." he replied. "I'm fine."
I could feel his breath against the top of my head. It was warm and comforting.
A breeze pasted us, causing me to shiver violently. James took his hand away from mine and wrapped it around my shoulder, bringing me closer to him. I smiled thankfully, feeling warmer already.
My head was still on his shoulder, but I turned my head up towards him to meet his eyes. "James."
I took a deep breath. "Do you.. Do you ever get the feeling that I shouldn't - that I shouldn't be with Sirius?"
He frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"
I frowned myself. "I'm not sure. I.. I don't know. Just forget it."
"Oh, okay." James replied.
As we sat there, I felt warm on the inside. I felt happy and carefree and loved. Only a few months ago, I'd been mad beyond belief at the boy who was now holding me. But now? We were close. Closer than ever.
That night, I decided that I wanted James to be in my life for a long time. I wanted him to be there beside me no matter what and I wanted him to always be able to talk to me, and I to him. He was my own personal savior; he had saved me from a life of solitude and loneliness.
James Potter was my best friend and nothing would change that.
"That was a HOOT!" Remus exclaimed from behind us. We both jumped, and James quickly took his arm off of me.
We both looked up at him. He was standing behind us, his face flushed with a wide smile plastered across his face. "I'm telling you, bloody FANTASTIC!"
"Er, really?" I asked. I'd sobered up a bit by now, but it seemed as though Remus was still as tipsy as ever.
"Yes. Lily, you've got to go in and give it a try!" Remus exclaimed.
Before I had a chance to say anything else, Remus had grabbed my arm and was hoisting me up to my feet. He dragged me towards the booth and pushed me in. He was a nice boy, really. Sure knew how to a treat a girl.
"Have a seat." a voice came. It was eerie in here; dark and smelled strongly of perfume and tobacco.
I walked towards the center of the room and took a seat. There was a table in front of me with a large crystal ball on it and across from me sat a strange looking women.
She had a purple hijab wrapped around her head, but here and there poked out frizzy, brownish red stands of hair. Her eyes were large and brown with many wrinkles and framed with thick black glasses. She had on a purple poncho over a white shirt with many sequins, and a multiple gold rings on each finger. Her lips were covered with dark red lipstick, and on the center of her cheek was a large mole.
She looked up at me, meeting my eye, then smiled a knowing smile. "The eyes reveal nothing of the soul; it is the heart and the language of the body that tells all that you feel."
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