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Evan Rosier was probably the only guy in school that could truly give Sirius Black a run for his money. He was tall, slick, gorgeous, witty, and cunning. He was a few inches over six feet, with sleek, short black hair that was always messy, a milky white complexion, and two very alluring gold eyes that had flecks of light brown in them. He was an easy charmer, intelligent, and very popular amongst the female population of Hogwarts. Even though he was in Slytherin, no one cared. All the girls craved his attention and the guys tried their best to get in his close group of friends.

It just so happened that Evan Rosier was and still is infatuated with me ever since third year. The first time we met was on a cloudy November day, the air crisp and the leaves turning a delicate golden colour. I had found him harassing a first year and I instantly rounded on him. We ended up arguing and somewhere in-between, I had ended up punching him in the gut.

From that day on, he made it obvious he was interested in me and found every single way possible to get me to go out with him. None of his Slytherin friends questioned why he was interested in a Muggleborn like me. Evan was far too popular, powerful, and dangerous to be questioned. I had, of course, always denied him. He was a bully in my eyes, someone who found amusement in other's pain. In all four years, he had never once given up on me. I detested him with every bone in my body.

It just so happened, with my luck, that we were paired together for our Potions assignment.

"Are you still going out with Black?" Evan asked in a casual tone.

I continued to still write, not even bothering to look up at him. "Yes."

Evan leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms across his chest. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Oh, I don't know.. Maybe it's because I like him?"

Evan chuckled, then leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. His face was a few inches away from mine and I could feel myself redden a bit. As much as I hated Evan, there way no denying the fact that he was gorgeous. "Aren't I more attractive?"


But obviously, I couldn't say that. "I find Sirius more attractive."

Evan raised his eyebrows at me. "I do believe that you just agreed to the fact that you find me attractive."

I looked up at him, trying my best to glare. "I never said that."

"Clearly, you did. I asked you if I'm more attractive, and you replied back saying Black is more attractive. If you pay attention, you'll see that you never denied me being attractive."


I narrowed my eyes at him, then dropped my head down to my paper again. Bloody git.

"So this is what it feels like to be found attractive by Lily Evans.." Evan mused. "Tell me, who else do you find attractive, aside from Black and myself."

I lifted my head again. This boy didn't seem to realize that we had an assignment to do. "Why would I tell you?"

Evan grinned. "Because then I can deform all their faces until I was the last person that you found attractive."

"Rosier, sod off. I'm trying to bloody work here." I replied back coolly.

Evan shrugged innocently. "You asked."

I gave him one last, good glare then returned to the task at hand. I could hear Evan fidgeting beside me. He was bored. Well, that's his fault, isn't it? He could be helping me do our assignment instead of sitting there staring at me like an idiot.

"What are you two still doing here?" I heard a shrill voice ask from behind me. I turned around, already knowing who it was. Madame Pince of course.

"Working on our Potions assignment." I replied back.

Madame Pince stared at me with her small, beady eyes. "The library closed half an hour ago! You two should already be in your common rooms by now. Out, NOW!"

Evan and I hastily gathered our stuff, shoving it in our book-bags. I quickly exited the library, Evan trailing behind me. Had time gone by that fast already? I glanced at my watch and practically shrieked. Twenty minutes past curfew! What if we got caught by Filch?

We both turned the corner, facing the main staircases. I was about to go up the staircase, the way to the Gryffindor common room, and Evan was about to go down the staircase to the dungeons where the Slytherin common room was, when we both heard a pair of footsteps. I stopped dead in my tracks and I saw from the corner of my eye Evan had froze too.

Before I had time to think, Evan had grabbed my arm and we were sprinting towards a small broom closet a few feet away from us. I picked up the pace, both of us running fast, then we finally hid inside the broom closet.

It was small, dark, and dirty. I could barely see anything and to my dismay, I had accidently placed my hand on Evan's lips when I was trying to feel around for a light switch. I blushed a deep shade of red, suddenly thankful for the lack of light, and I immediately brought my hand to my side.

"I'm so-"

Evan placed his hand over my mouth. "Shh," he said quietly.

I silenced myself, hearing a pair of footsteps from outside. Evan suddenly moved closer to me, way too close for my comfort zone. His body was slightly pressed against mine and he bent his head down to my ear. "Sorry," he said so quietly that it was almost inaudible. "Something was digging into my back."

I nodded silently.

"No one's here, my sweet." I heard Filch's voice from outside. "But it's best to stay a few more minutes in case they come back.. I swear I heard footsteps."

We both remained silently, barely moving. I cursed at the lack of space in the broom closet. Was it just me, or was it suddenly getting hotter in here?

As much as I hated him, there was no denying how unbelievably attractive he was right now. Here I was, pressed up against a "bad" boy who is infatuated with me, in a small, dark broom closet, while hiding from Filch. If only I was living in another lifetime, then maybe I could've done something daring and completely amazing. Such as kissing him.

I took a deep breath as I heard Filch walking away. Thank Merlin.

I felt Evan shuffle. "You know, you look very attractive right now.."

His hands were placed on my forearms, and his body pressed up gently against mine.


Without any warning, he had suddenly bent his head down and captured my lips with his. I remained stiff under him, my brain fogged up.

What was happening? I could barely think. His lips felt good against mine.. too good. For a moment, I was ready to kiss him back, but then I remembered that this was [i]Evan Rosier[/i] and that I was taken, by Sirius, and I was happy with him.

But then, I lost my train of thought as Evan continued to kiss me fiercly. I found myself giving in, letting him kiss me. It felt amazing. He let one hand slide up my shirt and let the other graze my thigh.

Then, common sense took over and I realized what was happening.

I pushed Evan off of me, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I tried to make my face seem disgusted. There was no need for him to know that I had actually enjoyed it..

"Don't you [i]ever[/i] do that again." I said in a low, dangerous voice.

Evan opened his mouth to say something, but I pushed the door open, not in the mood to hear what he had to say. I walked quickly, almost running, up the stairs.

What was wrong with me? I had a boyfriend, and I was happy with him.. Right? If I was happy with Sirius, why had I been so eager to kiss Evan back? It couldn't be because I was unhappy with Sirius.. Could it? How else would it explain how much I wanted to kiss someone else.. to be with someone else?

I gave the fat lady the password, then made my way inside the common room. It was empty, save for one person. The one person that I was actually glad to see.

"Lily?" James asked. He was sitting on an armchair, his hair wet and his glasses low on his nose. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and a pair of cozy looking pajama bottoms. Even in that attire, he still looked handsome.

"Hi, what are you doing up?" I asked him.

James shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. Where were you just now?"

"I got out of the library late," I replied. It was true.. partly.

As I took a seat in the armchair next to his, James frowned. "You look a little frazzled. Are you okay?"

I remained quiet for a moment, thinking about his question. Was I okay? No. I was confused beyond belief. I needed to talk to someone, someone I could trust. I could trust James, right?

"No." I replied truthfully.

James suddenly looked alarmed. "What happened? Was it the Slytherins again? If it was, Lily we really have to re-"

"James," I cut him off. "It's nothing like that, honest. I'm just a bit.. confused about something."

James settled down in his seat again, looking calmer. "Oh.."

I looked at him, straight in the eye. I felt a warm feeling in my stomach. His eyes were really beautiful.. They made me slightly dizzy. They were brown with flecks of green and gold, all merged together into a beautiful colour. They made me very, very dizzy.

"Can I trust you with something.. something you wouldn't tell Sirius?" I asked him.

James frowned. "I can't promise that."

I turned my gaze to my lap, playing with the hem of my skirt. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell someone. I wanted to share my feelings with someone very badly.

"Okay." I replied. I took a deep breath. "I did something today.. Rather, received something.. And I.."

"Lily, just tell me." James said, a soft expression on his face.

I sighed, still staring at my lap. "Evan Rosier kissed me."

James shifted uncomfortably next to me.

".. And I liked it," I said quietly. "Not because it was Evan. No, I hate that bastard. Well.. Because he wasn't [i]Sirius[/i]."

"Lily, I-"

"I know, I sound like such a.." I kept going on. "James, I don't know what I want anymore. I'm just so confused.. Part of me wants Sirius very much, more than I've ever wanted anyone. But then, part of me is tired of him. I know deep down that this [i]thing[/i] between me and him won't last long.. And.. I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore." I laughed bitterly. "I don't know what I'm even saying anymore!"

I looked up, meeting James's eyes. I couldn't read his expression. He dropped his gaze on me and looked down at his own lap. "Lily.. I don't think we should talk about this."

He looked up at me. I tried to catch his eye, but he refused. He got up from his seat, then kissed my forehead. "Good night Lily.. I'm sorry."

And with that, he left, going up the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

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