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Ok so this is just the real Howarts and Harry, if you don't like it, don't read it, thank you very much.The phrases in parenthesis are Harry's toughts ok?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any related characters, nor the plot it all belongs to J.K Rowling.





Harry had just received the letter from Hagrid saying that he was accepted at Howarts.

“And why do you say I have to go to this, Sewarts?” said Harry

“Because yer a wizard I already told yeh” replied Hagrid

“Prove it” replied Harry

“C'mn Harry never made thing happen when you was scared or angry?”

“No”

“But your name 'as being down since you were born!”

“Yes, you know what you're right Tagret I now remember signing up for a wizarding school...yes...”

“Well yeh know wha' Harry yeh're goin' even if yeh don't want to”

 

And so Harry had to go to Howarts.





He was at King's Cross and had no idea how to get to Platform 9 and whaaaaaaat?? 3/4? ( What the fuck is that).


Suddenly he heard a woman mutternig “packed with Muggles, of course”

(Wow, this woman needs a strict diet)

He looked at the five red-headed children who were with her

(And some condoms)

“Hey,woman” Harry said to ,well, the woman.

“Hello dear, first time at Howarts ? Ron's new two”

(Aha, and your point is?)

Harry looked at Ron, he was tall with red hair and the stupidest expression Harry had ever seen.

“You want to get onto the platform, dear?”

(No woman I just wanted to say hello...stupid!)

Harry nodded .

“All you have to do is run though that wall”

“Oh... sorry”, said Harry he had been looking at his nails with a lot of interest, “ did you say something? Oh my god look at the time, I'd better get going”

And he disappeared though the barrier

 

The first years were in the Great Hall waiting for the sorting.

 

“And we are supposed to put that dirty hat on our heads?”said Harry

“...uh... I dunno Harry...uh” replied Ron

“POTTER HARRY” shouted Professro McGonagall

Harry went to were the hat was and put it on his head.


“Hmm, difficult, very difficult” said the hat

“Shut up and sort me! You stink, you know?”

“So where shall I put you?” replied the hat

“Not Slytherin, not Slytherin”

“Not Slytherin eh?, but...”

“ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?? I SAID NO SLYTHERIN, STUPID HAT!!

“All right if you are sure -better be Gryffindor!”

 

Harry took of the hat and joined the other Gryffindors.

 

“Finally” Harry tougth as Ron was put also into Gryffindor.

“Uh... hey Harry” said Ron

“What?!”

“Uh... I forgot”

 

The next day they had their first potions class with Professor Snape.


“Harry Potter, our new...celebrity what do I get when I add Sassaksaiesususotikeot to an infussion of Rararakikehhikenka?” (What the f...?)

“How the hell am I going to know?, anyway do you think I survived Voldemort's curse by making a potion? I don't think so, sir”

“Fifty points from Gryffindor Potter”

“Yeah, well”said Harry with sarcasm.

Everyone was looking to Harry with astonishment and Ron was looking as if he had won the lottery.

“Ha ha ha...uh...you are funny...ha ha ha..uh”said Ron.

 

Then they found out that they had their first Quidditch class with the Slytherins. So they went down to the Quidditch field.

 

“Well what are you waiting for?” said Madam Hooch,“ Everyone stand by a broomstick and say UP!

UP! said everyone but suddenly Neville's broom went higher and higher and he fell down.

“Oh my God, this isn't good for my salary, stupid boy, I mean, are you all right Longbottom?”

Neville wasn't looking good: he was unconsious, his head was bleeding, his left arm looked broken, his knees were injured and he was missing one shoe. Madam Hooch rolled him over, shook him to wake him up and said:

“Oh, broken wrist nothing to worry about” and she took Nevile to the Hospital Wing.

 

“Did you see his face?” said Malfoy

“Yeah, it was so funny,” said Harry “I mean, shut up Malfoy”

“Oh look it's the rememberball of Longbottom” said Malfoy while taking the ball and flying up high.

Harry followed in his broom, he could hardly balance.

“Go get it Potter” said Malfoy and he threw the ball into the air.At that moment Harry lost balance and he started to fall down “DAMN” he tought as he was falling with his broom, suddenly something hit his head: it was the rememberball, he took it in his hand and landed on the ground (am I good or what?) He heard his classmates cheer (Hell yeah! I'm good)

 

“HARRY POTTER!”

(That's my name, don't waste it) McGonagall was running towards them

“Never- in all my time at Howarts” ( Which must be a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very loooong time)

“Mr.Potter please follow me” He did.

They were now with Wood.

 

“Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood- I've found you a Seeker, he will definetely find the snitch really fast!” ( What's that 'finding the snitch' stuff , is it like finding Jesus or something?)

“Yes , he has the complexion to be seeker, we are going to rock Slythering with this boy”said Wood.

(Obviously)

“Well Potter you better practice hard and make us win or I'll change my mind about your punishment your father would've been proud of you”

(Didin't I tell you this woman is like a thousnd years old?)

 

That's how he became seeker for the team and got his Nimbus 2000.

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