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This chapter has not gone through editing yet so there may be many errors. I thought it was high time I got this out to you guys though.

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This week has been living nightmare, and I mean that quite literally. Ever since I called Black ‘Sirius’, I’ve had to suffer turmoil with him almost every day. He won’t stop pestering me in class, he won’t stop following me everywhere, and he won’t stop telling everyone that I called him by his first name. Honestly, just by accidentally calling him that, his ego managed to boost up about ten times. Now, he’s convinced that I have been secretly pining for him for the last four years. He’s such a prat.

James isn’t helping either, ever since he found out about the incident, he’s been supporting Black. Of course, he must suffer with the silent treatment until he stops, not to mention the miscellaneous hexes that I randomly place upon him and Black. I’ve convinced Lily to stop going to head meetings alone with him too (even if there has only been one head’s meeting since the last Hogsmeade visit). She agreed after realizing that Black was now harassing me twenty-four-seven and she wouldn’t be able to hang out with me if she didn’t do something. 

It was only yesterday that he finally stopped because Lily was threatening to give James and him three months of detention with Slughorn if they didn’t. Everyone knows that detention with Slughorn is as bad as it can get. Most of the time, you’re sitting there having to listen to his lectures about potions, or helping him out with planning Slug Club meetings or parties. It’s very rare that he leaves you alone to do some annoying chore for the school’s benefit. So, it’s best not to be around Slughorn longer than the one—sometimes two—hour period that you are required more than once a week.

Black and James have managed to steer clear of Slughorn’s detentions when they get them, Anelie unfortunately hasn’t. You see, Anelie is my personal body guard apparently. Ever since she witnessed the horrible treatment I was getting from my own cousin and his best friend, she’d been following me around whenever she could and when Black and James would show up, she threatened them. Her threats were idiotic, but enough to get to two boys to leave me alone whenever she was in my presence. Unfortunately, she’s doesn’t have classes with me, and those are the worst times of the day. When I am forced to sit next to Black for the duration of at least an hour.

“Stenson,” Black whispered in my ear as I tried to focus on what Professor McGonagall was saying and continued writing my notes down, “Oh Stenson, I know you hear me. I know you want me, I know you ne—“

“What?!” I hissed back at him not looking up from my paper. I knew he was grinning though, happy that he got his way. It was becoming more difficult as time went on to ignore him every day in class, and today was no exception.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and warily glanced over at me as I snapped my head up in annoyance. She looked from me to Black then rolled her eyes in a un professor-like nature. She continued with her lesson, showing the students how to successfully turn a feather into a box. I highly doubted that this lesson would ever come in handy during life after Hogwarts, but you never know.

I shot Black a glare before continuing my notes as McGonagall demonstrated the wand movements. An entire minute passed by and Black had yet to continue bothering me. Maybe he’s realized that I hate him and want nothing to do with him. I took my wand out with a new found confidence and went ahead and started to practice as many other kids were doing. Swish, flick, tap, I continued to repeat to myself in my head. My mouth opened and I began to say the spell. I’d only just finished the first syllable when Black took my wand from my hand in less than a second.

I turned towards Black, whose smirk was placed elegantly upon his face, and glared, “Black, give me back my wand.” I said gently. I attempted to grab it, but he simply moved the wand out of my reach. This action seemed to annoy me even more, it was if he were trying to flirt with me the ‘typical guy’ way.

I leaned backwards a little before saying, “I don’t think I will,” he said, smirking still. He put the wand behind his back and said, “You want it? Come get it.”

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand impatiently. I wasn’t falling for that trick, “Black, I suggest you give me the wand or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else this: Black, give me back my bloody wand!” I yelled, silencing the entire class. I allowed my anger to finally emerge knowing that McGonagall wouldn’t blame me for this incident. Not since my wand has been taken involuntarily from me.

Black’s eyes widened and moved to the figure standing in front of us, “Mr. Black, please give Miss Stenson her wand back. Now.” Her eyes followed Black’s hand as he reached forward to give the wand back to me. I snatched it away and scooted as far away I could possibly go and was about to start practicing again until McGonagall interrupted me, “I would like you two to leave my class this instance.”

I dropped my wand and stared up at the aging woman who was my professor with wide eyes, “Professor, you must be kidding me.”

She looked down at me sadly and shook her head ‘no’, “I’m sorry Miss Stenson, but I, as well as the rest of the staff, am tired of these continuous outburst from you,” she turned to look at Black with a not so pitying stare, “You Mr. Black will be in detention tonight. The staff is tired of you causing Miss Stenson to yell during class.” She turned so she could look at the two of us, “If a teacher comes to me reporting that either of you have caused trouble in their class then that will be a week’s worth of detention for the two of you. If that happens than you will be spending it together.”

“But Professor, I—“

“Out Miss Stenson,” she said calmly and pointed towards the door that Black was already exiting.

I gave her one more pleading look, but after realizing that she wasn’t planning on changing her mind anytime soon, I grabbed my stuff and left in a huff daring myself not to look back at Lily to see her reaction. I was almost positive that she pitied me and was disappointed with me at the same time. It’s the way she works, I guess.

Black was leaning against the wall outside the classroom waiting for my arrival. I paid no mind to him as he walked in step with me. We still had an hour and a half until our next class and it was clear neither of us really cared. It surprised me when he said nothing as we walked side by side, me practically ignoring his existence, him winking at the few students left in the hall that happened to be the same gender as me.

“So, Stenson,” he began. I ignored him and sped my pace up, he kept up easily though, almost as if there were no effort, “What do you want to do now that we are all alone?” He was flirting, or purring, no actually, it was a combination of the two.

I continued to ignore him as I began walking up the flight of stairs that led me right to the common room. He didn’t seem discouraged though and pursued more. His tone was lighter though when he spoke with a less flirtatious tone, which pleased me thoroughly, “I’m serious, wha—“.

“I know you are. No reason to state the obvious.”

He glanced down at me warily, “That gets extremely annoying you know. When girls do it ‘specially. As I was saying,” he continued on, “What do you want to do? I’m not keen on spending the next couple of hours by myself.”

“Well, I’m not keen on spending it with you Black. I’m sure there is some girl around that you can shag senseless,” he didn’t move, “Go on, go looking for that special girl.”

He chuckled, “I would, but I don’t feel like it.”

“And why not?” I asked, appalled that he was insisting on staying with me when I’d asked to politely go shag some girl. He would usually jump at the offer.

“Well, a guy gets tired of clingy girls throwing themselves at you. I need a break, and I know as much as you hate this, you are perfect for it.”

“I’m not going to sha—“

“Bollocks, I don’t mean that at all. I promise you that’d I’d rather be hanging out with Prongs. You’ll have to do though.”

“And Prongs is which one of the marauders?” It was a good question; few people actually knew which Marauder was Prongs, Wormtail, Moony, or Padfoot. It was all extremely confusing so I chose not to bother myself with it except for instances like this.


“Like I said, you can find some girl—“

“Stop that! I’m not in the mood for shaggin’ today,” Black yelled through the empty hall. The portraits all looked in our direction clearly confused at what the commotion involving ‘shag’ was about. A few of the gossip portraits recognized the two of us immediately and began whispering amongst themselves, telling other portraits surrounding them.

“Damnit Black, look what you’ve done,” I hissed before allowing voice to yell through hall as well, “He’s not talking about me you twits! He’s talking about the other idiotic girls he’s shagged before!”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his cheeks burning red from embarrassment.

I rolled my eyes and continued down the hall, to the Fat Lady’s Portrait. When I arrived, the Fat Lady gave us an accusing look, “Were you two the ones causing the commotion about sh—“

“No!” I yelled.

“Oh, well no need to cop an attitude with me. Manners young lady, manners! Password please,” her eyes were closed as she breathed in and out to calm herself down. Her pink dress much too pink for her skin and her cheeks flushed, like they were painted. Her too big hands reached up to her hair, fixing the 1800s style hair that laid a mess on her head.

I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the millionth time, “Elephant Man.” The portrait opened and allowed the two of us in, “What idiot would make the password ‘Elephant Man’?”

“That idiot would be James,” Black answered. I scowled, of course my dunderhead of a cousin would make up a password like that.

I watched as Black strolled passed me and plopped down on the couch lying on his stomach, making no room for me. I ignored him as I sat down on his back and began rearranging myself to where my knees painfully dug into his spine. He groaned while I smirked at the pain he was now enduring. It’s nice to finally be able to cause pain in Black’s life.

“Stenson! Get off!” he growled, “You’re not that heavy, I could easily throw you off my back if I even attempted to get up.”

I didn’t reply, instead, I completely ignored him as I took out my bag and dropped it on his legs and began digging inside it for my quill and parchment. I could start on assignments easily at that moment. When I successfully found everything I needed, I began my research paper on Temporary Elixirs and how they worked. I’d almost forgotten I was sitting on someone until I slowly began elevating up. I dropped my assignment and quill in surprise looked for a way out of the situation I put myself in.

It was too late though, my idiocy caused me to fall on the other half of Black right on top of my very hard bag. Yes, the bag filled with textbooks. I groaned as I fought through the pain and stood up, grabbing my stuff and settling down in one of the comfy chairs. There I began my research paper once more pretending that I didn’t have a soar stomach, that I didn’t just fall off of Black’s back, and that Black didn’t even exist.

“Do you have a date for the dance?” Black asked catching me by complete surprise. I looked over at him in confusion, “I was wondering because the dance is tomorrow.”

“Do you?” I asked as if to insult him if he said no. He nodded ‘yes’ though and continued to look at me, “Oh, well, I don’t. People have asked me, but I said no to all of them. Not sure why though, I’m sure I had my reasons at the time.”

Black nodded and continued to stare at me as I continued my research paper. It became increasingly more difficult to focus on my paper though as I felt his eyes move up and down my body, analyzing me in a way he shouldn’t have. He soon stopped moving his gaze around me and settled for my face, which, if anything, made me more uncomfortable. I slowly looked up, “Do you want something Black?”

“No, not really. Just watching you make funny faces while you’re working,” he answered, the smirk evident on his face. I knew he was right, Katy had commented on my odd habit many times and thoroughly embarrassed me when she finally told me about the odd tendency. Imagine how it feels when Black tells me about the annoying quirk as well.

“Er, well…yeah, I make faces Black. Do you have a problem with that?”

He simply shook his head and continued to stare at me as I continued my work. It was growing quite aggravating for more than one reason. One reason is quite obvious, no one likes to be stared at no matter what the situation is. It’s creepy and makes you feel vulnerable, therefore, I hate it. The second reason was that I knew Black knew that is was getting me quite frustrated. That is why he continued to look at me with amusement, because it gets me steamed up and I know he likes a good fight once and a while.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I finally yelled at Black to stop staring at me and all he did was chuckle happily. I attempted to ignore the staring once more only to realize he wouldn’t stop unless I personally gouged he eyes out with my wand. So I thought of the only solution that came to mind, do what Lily would do. I quickly packed all my belongings into my bag and walked out the common room briskly. I knew he would follow me, but no doubt I could talk to Madame Pince and ask politely for a private room to study and do my assignments in. I knew she wouldn’t be of much help, she never was. She was far too suspicious of students to be of much help. Of course, I doubt that she wouldn’t allow me a room of privacy nowhere near any of her precious books.

I heard Black’s footsteps behind me as I walked into the library and went straight to the front desk. “Madame Pince?” I asked softly, grabbing her attention immediately. She looked me over checking to see if I was one to be suspicious of and then nodded as if approving me, “Erm, well, I need a private room to study and do my assignments in. Could you pleas—“

“No,” she interrupted, giving me an appalled expression, “Those rooms are not to be offered until dinner. I will follow the orders I have been given by the headmaster and not allow it until then.” Her eyes watched me disapprovingly.

“But Madame, I doubt that you shouldn’t allow students a room if they are to study for NEWTs. I do have those this year and I am so worried that there is a possibility of failure,” I pleaded, placing my best Lily Evans impression on though I knew Madame Pince would see right through it. She was sure to allow me a room anyway at the mention of NEWTs though, the teachers must allow a student to study for the exam in good environment if they asked so.

She sighed and mumbled, “Very well,” and walked out from behind the counter and towards a private room. I looked behind me and stuck out my tongue childishly at Black who was still smirking at me with amusement. At least I would be away from him for the time being. I turned back to Madame Pince who just unlocked the door to my room with her wand, “Treat this room with care. If you do not, you will be automatically kicked out of the library for disrespecting property.” I nodded feebly and walked in and set all my items down.

The closed behind me and I then began my research paper managed to make it four inches long by the time the door opened again. I looked down at my muggle watch and noticed it was not yet time to go to class. Therefore the person who opened the door could not be a student or Madame Pince shooing me away. That only meant it could be one other person who makes it his personal goal in life to make my life miserable. He shouldn’t have been able to get in the room though, so apparently Madame Pince didn’t feel using a decent locking charm.

I tried my best to ignore the intruder that was walking up to me. I could not take it anymore though and groaned dropping my quill and leaning back against my chair, “What do you want Black?”

“I was bored, so I decided to come for a visit,” he answered, “Besides, in five minutes you’ll have to stop anyway and head to Slughorn’s class. Might as well go ahead and stop now before the halls get annoyingly crowded.

“You realize I knew all of this right?” I asked and from the corner of my eye I saw him nod, “You also realize you’ll have all tomorrow to bother me while we are decorating for the dance?”

He said and did nothing and I grinned, “You can wait then can’t you, because tomorrow I will have no choice but to stick around because no doubt James will find a way to make it miserable for me and pair me up with you. So why don’t you bother me then. It’ll be so much more fun than now when I’m trying to not procrastinate and do my work.”

Black smiled and walked out. I couldn’t believe that worked to be quite honest. I only assumed he wouldn’t care and just decided that we needed to spend quality time together until class begins. I wouldn’t be able to get rid of him no matter what until after this class because was of course my potions partner. It’s nice to know that he finally gave up and gave ten minutes peace.

I packed up my belongings once more and made my way to Slughorn’s class.

”I’ll get you my pretty! And your little dog too!” screamed the wicked witch suddenly disappeared in a cloud of smoke. I looked around confused, wondering if I actually owned a dog or not. Suddenly realization came to me when I looked down and spotted Sirius Black on his hands and knees panting like an idiotic dog.

Next to him was a real dog with black, scruffy fur panting excitedly like Black. I patted the two dogs on the head and said, “Well, she only said she’d take one of you.” I quickly detached Black from my leg where he’d decided to take his boredom out on and told him to shoo while I kept my big Toto. He whimpered like a dog and began to walk towards me. I simply shook my head no at him and began walking away thinking Toto was behind me.

He wasn’t though and when I turned around to check, shock took hold of me. Toto was gone and his place stood a second Sirius Black grinning at me. My eyes widened and I began to
attempt to run. I had no such luck though because my feet molded into the yellow brick road under me. I stared in horror at the boy who was now growing exceedingly close. I looked around desperately trying to find a way out when I found a bucket of water. I reached for it but it was too far away. The dog-like Black saw what I was reaching for and barked and moved as fast as he could on his hands and knees to the bucket. Though, as soon as he got the bucket, he began to drink it because it was cold and refreshing.

I held back a sob and turned my attention back to the human Black and did my best to push him away as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer until our lips were…

“Stop you idiot!” I yelled jumping up. Anelie groggily sat up and stared at me like I was insane. I couldn’t blame her; I looked really idiotic standing in my pajamas in some odd karate position looking ready to kill. I was, but the guy I wanted to kill was not in the room like my subconscious was telling me.

“What in the bloody hell is wrong with you?” hissed Anelie groggily rubbing her eyes and lying back down.

I sat back in my own bed and stared at the ceiling, “Bad dream, sorry.” It was true, the worst dream I’ve ever had to be exact. Black was in it, and he kissed me! Of course, my dream self was smart like the real me and refused him or at least attempted to. He was too bloody strong to cause any real damage.

It wasn’t long until I could hear Anelie’s loud rhythmic breathing telling me she was asleep. I attempted to go back to sleep myself, but to no avail, and 15 minutes later, I got up and went to get breakfast. At nine in the morning mind you. I know, that isn’t that early, you would’ve thought I woke up at five, but that’s not the case. Of course, it was a surprise to everyone anyway when I arrived fully awake and ready to go at nine. I usually stayed in bed until 11 on weekends, but after that horrid nightmare, it was impossible to go back to sleep.

“Well, good morning Kathleen,” Lily said and smiled up at me, “You’re up early.”

I stared at her slightly annoyed at her perky mood, “And you’re really bright and shiny today,” I replied, “What’s got you so happy anyway?” I started to pile food onto my plate while glancing at Lily noticing she was looking around the Great Hall nervously. A smile moved to my lips as I watched her watch the doors.

“It’s nothing, I just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning,” she said and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but laugh at the idiotic excuse. Ever girl with the least bit of common sense knows that when an innocent girl acts so odd it means something good happened that she wanted no one to find out.

“It’s a guy isn’t it?” I asked, stuffing some eggs into my mouth and savoring the taste.

Her head immediately turned to me and nodded slowly, “Oh, well, yes.”

“Really? So what happened?”

“Cowal Finley asked me to the dance,” she said and began to eat the rest of her meal. I looked at her with an annoyed expression marked on my face. Was she really only going to leave me at those small details?

I waited for a few moments before finally speaking, “And…?”

She looked up from her food and creased her eyebrows, “And what?”

I dropped my fork and moved my plate over to set my elbows on the table and leaned in, “And what did you say to him?”

“Oh,” Lily paused a moment, looking extremely awkward, “I said no.”

It took a moment for what she said to register in my head, then her answered finally settled in my head. My dear Lily got asked out by a decent guy and she declined him. Unless I’m thinking of the wrong person, I hardly think that was necessary. My mouth opened and closed as if I were a fish until finally words issued out, “Cowal Finley? As in the cute Ravenclaw in seventh year, right?”

She nodded feebly and cowered in her seat a bit before I continued on, “The Quiddtich Captain for Ravenclaw, and the guy who got almost all Es on his OWLs?” She nodded once more, “Lily! What is wrong with you?! You are always complaining about guys not asking you out because of ‘Potter’ and when Potter finally grows up and stops asking you out all the time and allow men to ask you out, you say no! I don’t understand that concept, Lily. Especially not when a completely decent guy like Cowal ask you to the dance and you say no. Is there a good reason for that Lily? Is there?”

Lily shook her head sadly and stared up at me, “It’s not like I have a choice. James and I have agreed to go together because the heads go to at least one dance together and we decided this would be the dance so we could get it over with. It’s not going to be like this for Christmas, I promise.”

I smiled softly at her as I realized what she was really thinking, “You like my cousin don’t you?” Her eyes opened wide and she shook her head violently, “Then who do you like Lily? Why in the world would ever want to go as my cousin’s honorable date for anything if you didn’t like him?”

“Dumbledore asked us to, it’s tradition.”

I looked back at all the dances in Hogwarts history and she was indeed right. At least one dance per school year, the heads would go together. I nodded defeated and finished off my food.

“I’ve got to go have a quick meeting with James and Professor Willis. Be back here at noon today for the decorating. We got ten other students to help us out and everything, but we still can’t afford to miss someone.” I nodded and continued on with my breakfast.

I walked through the Great Hall doors and towards the group of student assembling themselves around Lily and James. I squeezed through and stood in front of everyone as well, “Who have you paired me up with today?” I asked warily.

James looked at me and smirked, “Murray Coleman,” he said. My eyes widened in horror and I looked back and forth between James and Lily. If anything, Coleman was worse than Black. He was gorgeous to say the least but his ego was much bigger than his looks. Black’s ego, I can deal with, mainly because he is much more good looking than Coleman, therefore making his ego fit him better. Coleman acts—as the Americans say—‘hotter’ than he is though.

I looked at Lily with pleading eyes as if I were asking if this was true. She did nothing but nod and walk away with her head down, “You have to go over there love,” James whispered in my ear and pushed me towards Murray who was staring dumbly at the instructions. When I walked up next to him to see what we were supposed to be doing he asked, “I don’t get it. How are people supposed to not come in here while we are working?” He turned to me and looked me up and down, licking his lips in the process. His smile widened and he stuck out his hand, “Hi, I’m—“

“Murray Coleman, I know,” I looked down at his hand then back up to him before turning to the directions once more, “To answer your question, the house elves will be delivering the food to the students in their common rooms and the Great Hall doors will be locked. Anyone not already in here cannot come in.”

He nodded dumbly and continued to stare at me, “I understand. So, do you have a date for the dance?”

I moved away from him and took out my wand and began flicking it at objects using nonverbal spells, “No.”

He smirked and stepped closer to me, “Would you like one?” He continued to step closer and I looked at him disgust. No decent guy would be so blunt about finding a girl attractive.

“Yes, I would. Unfortunately, I’m forbidden to see selfish, Hufflepuff pigs. Guess that rules you out of my dating options, doesn’t it?” I asked and smiled sweetly at him, while continuing with charming various objects to do creepy things.

I felt arms on my shoulder and smelt the familiar air of Black standing next to me acting as if we were old mates, “That’s the way to work it Stenson.” I shoved him off.

“Shouldn’t you be doing work?”

He chuckled causing Coleman to go beet red from discouragement, “Yes, but as you can see, my partner and I are working right next to the two of you. She quite a lovely partner isn’t she?”

I involuntarily looked towards the pretty girl with luscious, black, waist length hair and a great figure. Coleman apparently noticed as well, “Yes, Black your partner is quite lovely,” he said, acting as if he hadn’t just come on to me. I rolled my eyes and ignored the two boys while they bickered about her and the dance.

“Well I’ll be taking Kathleen to the dance!” I hear Murray shout. It went quiet in the Great Hall and I turned around in shock.

“When did this happen! I told you I didn’t want to go with you!” I said, “Black witnessed it too!” People began to gather around to see the dramatic events that were occurring between Murray, Black and I.

Murray continued on as if I said nothing, “At least she’s better looking than that girl over there.” I went tomato red along with the gorgeous girl that was partnered with Black.

“I can’t argue with you there, too bad she just said you weren’t taking her,” Black retorted, a smirk forming on his face.

“I realize that, but I can easily win her over. I mean, look at me,” he waved his hands around his body, “I’m bloody gorgeous.”

“Not as gorgeous as me Coleman.”

I’d grown tired of listening to the two bicker about themselves and their ‘dates’ and placed and silencing charm upon the two. By now, everyone realized a duel wasn’t about to occur and went back to work. Coleman joined me soon after I placed the silencing charm on him and Black and pouted and sat against the wall. I did nothing stop him from slacking off and allowed Lily to kick him out of the Great Hall without taking off the silencing charm.

I turned around to grin at James but to my dismay, Black was behind me instead. I frowned and looked up at him, “Would you like something Black?” he grinned as I realized that he could not speak because my charm was still in action and just after and took it off he lifted me off the ground and over his shoulders.

How cliché right? No. It’s not cliché because I, unlike so many girls in stories such as this, did not enjoy being tossed over the boy’s shoulders and laying helplessly on him. I did not laugh while screaming for him to let me down with a grin plastered on my face. No, instead we had another one of ‘our’ moments. I kicked him with all the power I had in the stomach causing him to topple over on top of me which made it even worse rather than better. It was like in my dream when I was trapped with no way of escape while he got his way with me.

“Hello Stenson,” Black said to me, grinning.

“Goodbye Black,” I managed to squirm out and run to the protection of Lily knowing Black wouldn’t dare come near me with Lily by my side now, “I swear, one day I’ll kill Black.”

Lily looked at me with a teasing smile, “I thought he was ‘Sirius’ now.” I yelled out in frustration and walked out of the Great Hall and went to my common room.

A/N: Hello, hello to everyone! I have not gone through editing for this chapter yet because I finally managed to finish it and thought that editing can come later. I doubt I’ll be fixing more than spelling errors and such, so it won’t be a big deal if I edit it and you don’t see what was changed. I’ll put a note at the top of the next chapter if something major does change though. I would love you all to know right away.

Anyways, last week, ‘Eclipse’ came out by Stephanie Meyer. It is the third story in the series with the first book being called ‘Twilight’. It’s her stories that help me come up with ideas for this story. JK Rowlings too of course, and a few other authors as well including some on here, hp fanfiction. Therefore, I recommend reading this story while you wait:

Match. by mental     Novel      Rating: Mature   Chapters: 26   Reviews: 2761
Ze Meridian has a serious problem: despite the skirt, everyone seems to think she’s a boy. Desperate to prove that having short hair, a bloke for a best friend, and a serious obsession with sport does not mean she’s lacking in feminine wiles, Ze enlists the help of Sirius Black to set Hogwarts straight about the question of her gender. And since Sirius has just entered into a bet with his mates to see who can remain celibate longest, he shouldn’t have any trouble keeping his hands to himself...should he?

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