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He couldn’t speak.

She was there, just a few feet away, staring out the window, oblivious that another person—another form of life—was in her presence. Her eyes were glittering an amazing golden brown, the peace of the outdoors reflecting upon her eyes. Her hair, a bold red color, cascaded down her back, once in a while fluttering feebly as a breeze blew in. Her ruby lips, adorned with kisses from half the boys at Hogwarts—including himself—was parted just slightly, allowing her to breath in every single possible thing imaginable. And so she drew in more than just dust and air; the air of sorrow, of joy, the air of misery, of merry, and also the air of the ones whose heart was broken just like hers, and refused to mend.

It was at that moment she turned, turned as she finally sensed another like her in the room. She only turned to see who it was. She did not expect to feel more than just a relief of curiosity. Therefore, when she turned her head away from the calming scene before her and realized who it was, recognized the man before her, standing so still as not to wake a living soul, she broke down. Mingled with surprise, she felt anguish, melancholy, affliction, and anger attack her from all sides. It was too much.

Darkness consumed her body and clouded her mind as she slowly fell to the floor, her eyelids fluttering shut.

~*~


She struggled for consciousness as she weakly opened her eyes. A soft mattress was under her back. Her legs felt so light and delicate, and her whole body was shaking. She tried to remember what caused her such an attack. An image of him flashed through her memory like lightening, and she suddenly gasped as she frantically flung herself off of the bed. She looked around and froze.

There he was, sitting at the edge of bed, as calm as could be, yet his face showed pure agitation and anxiety. His shining emerald green eyes shifted nervously as he spoke, “Are you okay Ginny?”

Ginny didn’t know what to say. Was she okay? “Yes, I am,” she said faintly, falling down on the bed again. “I—I think I’ll go downstairs.”

“No!” Harry said, getting up. Then he turned red and stuttered, “I mean—I just want to…” He sighed. “Can we just talk?”

She swallowed. She wasn’t ready yet. “I can’t,” she whispered, her voice choked with tears. “I can’t, not yet.”

“But we have to,” Harry said, a little more firmly. “We can’t continue to avoid each other like this Ginny!”

She closed her eyes closed before sitting back down on the bed. “W-What do you want?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly. “What is it that you still want to talk to me, even when we broke up?”

He shifted his feet, and tried to think of what to say. Nothing filled his mind. It only showed a nervous blank space. She was staring at the floor, tears already threatening to fall from her eyes, unable to meet his eyes at all. His heart smote him wretchedly. “Look, I had to break up with you for a reason, you know that—“

Her head went up in an instant, and her flashing eyes met hers. “Damn your bloody ideas about protection Harry!” she screamed, jumping to her feet, her fist curled rightly. “Damn you, thinking breaking up with me is going to protect me from one of the most powerful wizards in the world! Do you think it’s gonna do any good? All of us—ALL of us, I say!—are in danger already. And you think you’re the only one in danger? Do you?”

“Of course not!” Harry said defensively. “I’m not the only one in danger, what a ridiculous idea! But that doesn’t mean he won’t target the ones I hold most dearly in my heart. It’s what Voldemort wants to destroy first. That’s why I broke up with you. You don’t think it hurt me as much?”

“And like he won’t get me anyway,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t say that!” Harry said sharply. “It’s not funny.”

“And you think I’m joking? You think it’s not a possibility?” Ginny demanded. “What kind of world do you live in? A world where nothing goes wrong and everybody you love or care about is protected? And that no evil dares to touch them? Well, hate to break it up to you, but you need to come back to reality. In reality, Harry, people suffer and die. They feel pain and are touched by evil everywhere. There’s no one in the face of the earth that hasn’t felt pain and suffering. There isn’t anyone who hasn’t been condemned by evil at least once.”

“And so you’re saying I’m touched in the head, thinking I live in some utopia that revolves around me and me only?” he said heatedly. He was on his feet now and was facing Ginny a few feet away. “You don’t think I know people who suffer and feel pain? Guess what Ginny, I do know. I know there are plenty of them out there. And some of them are right here in this house!”

“Then WHY,” she bellowed, her face red, “are you acting as if I can’t feel pain?” She spat the last four words with bitter force.

And with that she spun around and rushed out of the room, the door slamming behind her, leaving a speechless Harry alone.

~*~


Dinner was noisy as usual, but everybody kept stealing furtive looks at Ginny and Harry in turns. They were sitting in opposite sides of the table, picking at their food without uttering single word. No one knew, of course, about the break up yet, so all assumed they had a row and finished their dinner without any comments.

After dinner, Ginny was the first to be excused from the table and dashed out of the house. She needed some time to think and recollect, and tonight’s weather favored her. The moon was glowing, almost enchanting her with such pure beams of white, and the stars were shining and twinkling brightly in the dark, inky canvas. She walked over to a tree and sat down with a sigh escaping her lips.

She had always liked him. When she first saw him on Platform 9 3/4, she thought his green eyes were cute and bright, yet something was hidden behind them. His untidy black hair covered his forehead, although I thought I could see something on it behind it. But all those feelings were childish affection. As she grew older, she entered her first year at Hogwarts, where her encounter with Tom Riddle’s diary led to her kidnap down to the Chamber of Secrets. It was after Harry saved her that she realized how much he was to her, and that he wasn’t just Ron’s best mate. Yet, she ignored such ideas that she might actually like him more than a crush.

As she grew older with Harry, she realized even more how much she really liked him when she heard news that Cho was his girlfriend. She was bursting with jealousy as she watched them walk to Hogsmeade side by side on their first date. And she could never forget Harry’s face; it was practically beaming. He was nervous, but happy that he was in Cho’s company. And finally, the day Harry kissed her in front of the entire Gryffindor common room was the day she realized her childish affection had long gone. A more mature feeling had settled in her, and never considered the possibility of love.

“Could it have been love?” she thought as she absentmindedly plucked the grass and threw it into the air. “Is it love still?”

She pondered this in silence until she heard a noise coming towards her. Most alert, she called, “Who is it?”

The voice seemed to hesitate before saying, “It’s me,” and Harry came into view.

God, he looks so handsome, she caught herself thinking. The moonlight cast a sliver of light through his eyes, and she could see them, his emerald green eyes, staring at her intently. She turned away and said, “What do you want?”

Harry sat down next to her and said, “Ginny, can we talk?”

“You said the same thing this afternoon and look how it ended,” Ginny said bitterly, moving away from him. “What more do you want to talk about? Do you want to go on preaching about why you broke up with me?”

“Do you love me?”

The question came so casually that she thought she was hearing things. “Excuse me, repeat the question?” she asked, trying not to sound nervous.

“Do you love me?” Harry repeated, still looking at her with those eyes.

Ginny stared at him in turn. “What in the world do you want me to say?” Ginny answered, gapping at him. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“No, I just want the truth,” Harry replied simply. “Do you love me?”

“Harry James Potter!” Ginny cried. ‘What kind of a question is that? And I’m supposed to answer that? Are you mad?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Harry said. “Ginny, I’ve been thinking and you were right. It was stupid to break up with you. I guess you could say I was afraid, scared for that one moment. At that moment, I seemed to have felt no one could ever be near me again. All those who were closest to me died, died for me; first mum and dad, Sirius, then Dumbledore. I thought, even though I lost mum and dad and Sirius, Dumbledore would always be there. He wasn’t the kind of man that died. But he did, and then the idea hit me. Dumbledore seemed to always be there, never left my side, but Death finally conquered. How could I be sure that it won’t happen to the people who vow to stay at my side? How do I know they won’t be conquered by Death as well?”

“And so it still brings it to the same point, doesn’t it?” Ginny muttered, turning away again. “The whole stupid idea about why you can’t be involved with me anymore.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Harry said, smiling weakly. “I realized that something is forcing me to agree with you, and that I can’t stay away from you just because of an evil maniac on the loose.”

“And what’s that?” Ginny asked, turning around curiously.

“Love,” he answered, and before she knew it, her lips were on his.

The kiss was more delicious than their first kiss in the Gryffindor room. She loved how his lips felt, so soft, delicate, and smooth. They took turns exploring each other’s mouth, just as they used to before the heartbreak. Harry kissed her gently across her jawbone and then her neck and Ginny withheld a moan. She kissed him in turn until they were out of breath.

They lay on the grass without speaking, trying to figure out what had just happened. Finally Ginny whispered, “Did we just…kiss?”

Harry didn’t answer. He bit his lips. “Damn.”

Ginny’s eyebrows flew up at the word. “Damn what? Our kiss?” she demanded. “What was wrong with our kiss?”

Harry looked as if he wanted to kill himself. He replied, “I wasn’t supposed to kiss you.”

“What?” she screeched as she pushed herself to a sitting position. “You weren’t supposed to kiss me? That’s just bloody messed up, Harry! You said before we kissed that—“

She suddenly realized what Harry had said before their lips met, and Harry seemed to remember as well. “No, no,” he said, shaking his head, getting up. “No, no! I didn’t mean that, I couldn’t have!”

“Did you mean it?” Ginny asked softly, getting up so she was looking at him straight in the eye.

Harry struggled for words. “Ginny, I—“

“Harry, do you love me?”

He gapped at the question. Here it was, turning around and attacking him this time. “Damn, Ginny, please don’t ask that question!” Harry pleaded.

“Why not?” Ginny inquired. “You asked me that question before. Why can’t I?”

“You never answered it,” he said quietly. “Can you answer it for me?”

Ginny smiled sadly. God, why did she have to look so beautiful? Harry thought as he looked at her with enchanted eyes. Her eyes glowed even more under the moonlight, and her lips were rosy red, trembling slightly as she tried to string a reply. “I can’t answer it, Harry,” she sighed.

“I love you Ginny.”

The words paralyzed them both. “Where the hell did that come from?” Harry thought frantically as she observed the stunned Ginny. Her wide eyes did not blink and stared endlessly at him. He tried to fix it. “Look Ginny—“

“Do you mean it?” she gasped, looking as if she was about to collapse. “Did you mean any of that at all? Be honest Harry.”

And suddenly Harry caught himself thinking that he did mean it. He meant the feeling he had wanted to deny, that he felt he had to deny. He meant it when he had said he had loved her.

“Yes I do Ginny,” Harry said, stepping closer to her. “I do mean it Ginny. I’m sorry, but I do love you.”

Ginny suddenly leaned over and kissed him on the lips, so softly he barely felt it. Then in his ear she whispered, “Don’t be Harry, don’t be sorry.”

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