Chapter 15: The Continuation
Lily swallowed the lump which had formed in her throat and stared into Remus’ startling blue eyes. She sniffed before dropping her gaze to the floor and when she looked up her lively green eyes locked onto Sirius’ grey ones.
“This isn’t going to work,” she told them slowly.
“Of course it is, you have no choice but to tell us what you’re thinking,” Remus told her.
“I know,” Lily said quietly. As soon as they had mentioned James’ name thoughts flew through her mind and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to hold them in. She took a deep breath. “But I can’t tell you how I feel because I don’t know,” she sighed secretly wishing that her thoughts would have revealed her true feelings; she was getting fed up of being confused.
“I used to hate him,” she hissed. “But I’ve kind of found that hard to do as of lately. There are times when it’s just him and I and we get along great, but then he always has to go and mess things up by acting the prat. I’m starting to think that he’s trying to act differently around me but can’t help his actual self shining through. I wish he wouldn’t do it,” she whispered.
“Do what?” Sirius asked.
“Act so unlike him self. I find myself enjoying the time I spend with him but I know if I fall for him I’m going to get hurt; and I won’t let that happen. I know he would do anything to get me to say yes but I also know the only reason for this is that he wants the satisfaction of knowing he could have any girl,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “You know I’m right Black.”
“Listen, I can’t speak for Prongs and tell you how he really feels because we’re blokes and we don’t talk about things like that. But I still don’t understand why you don’t give him a chance?”
“Because I refuse to let him hurt me like he has so many other girls!” her voice rose slightly but she glanced across the room to where James was sat reading and quietened. “He does look awfully cute when he reads though,” she said slowly thinking of more times when he looked cute and inside slapping herself for drinking Zayda’s drink. “Almost as cute as when he’s just jumped off his broom, at the end of a winning match, with that smile which is so contagious I’m beginning to think it’s the reason that I go to quidditch matches.” She sighed. “You see, this is why he has to stay his arrogant self,” she threw her arms in the air agitated.
“Because if he keeps acting the way he is you’ll find more ways to like him and then there’s the possibility that you’ll get hurt?” Remus asked.
“Yes,” Lily breathed. “Exactly. But it’s not so bad because as of lately he’s been acting like more of an idiot.”
“Uch, he seems to have given up on my just friends’ idea,” Remus said rolling his eyes.
Lily narrowed her emerald green eyes towards him and huffed. “Don’t help him with ways to get me to like him Remus; it isn’t going to happen that way. I will not fall for him when he is acting him self and I don’t want to be with someone that has to act differently around me,” she lifted her chin slightly.
“But Lily you don’t understand,” he said irritated. “James does act him self around you; he just gets tongue tied and says stupid things. I actually think his motives are genuine and he isn’t after you so that he can have all the girls after him, I think he actually…”
“Moony,” Sirius cut in. “I’ve had enough of this stupid talk. James is James; he’s a marauder. He will never fall for one girl so we might as well face it.” And plus, all this love talk you’ve been going on about is making me feel sick. James being in love; its preposterous!
“I’m glad you’re on my side,” Lily smiled slightly.
“But you seem to have a thing for him,” Sirius wiggled his eye brows. “Prongs should be happy.” Lily gasped.
“Black I truly hate you; what happened to this friends talk?” she asked hopefully.
“Oh Lily, the whole point of being a friend is to set each other up with the people you like,” he smiled.
“But I don’t like him!” she shrieked. She sighed and lent back in her chair, lowering her gaze to her intertwined hands fingers in her lap. “Oh I don’t know what I think ok! I’m getting stressed out and you two aren’t helping. I wish he’d carry on being the arrogant prat he’s always been and stop trying to win me over!”
Sirius and Remus were speechless when she suddenly looked up with brimming tears. Sirius, unable to handle crying women just put his head in his hands.
“Lily?” Remus began softly.
“Just leave it,” she said. Remus was taken aback by the defeated tone and dull look in her usually bright eyes. “I’m leaving.” And with that she stood and quickly headed up to her dorm where she lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
After a couple of minutes spent in silence Sirius spoke up. “Moony, I’ve broken up with a lot of girls and most of them have cried; and I’ve felt nothing. But I don’t think I have ever felt as guilty as I do now,” he said quietly.
“Me neither,” Remus nodded. “We shouldn’t have done that.” Sirius nodded slowly and the boys spent most of the night in quiet guilt. Speaking only occasionally to James and Peter; who found their silence disturbing.
A.n. Rightio, well...This is the shortest chapter ever and yes...i could have written LOADS more but i couldn't be bothered. I wanted to end this section of the story here and start something new in the next chapter. I don't want to have too much of Lily falling for James because it's too soon so ima go on with something different in the next one =] Which, will probably be up tomorrow =D Anyhoo, even though its a short chapter...please leave a review!! And sorry for the complete lack of humour in this...but i spose we all have to be serious sometimes =]
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