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Chapter 1: Me

“Go out. All of you.” He said to us. “This is your first battle. You have trained long and hard for this.” We all stood in front of him, stone still and dead silent. We were al afraid that if one of us dared to even shift their weight to the other foot, that none of us would see tomorrow. I was more afraid of the fight ahead, but at the same time, I am in the place that no one wants to be. I am his little slave girl. His daughter.

My hair is long and pin strait. It is usually black with the occasional appearing blue or red strakes, depending on how I feel. If I had gone to school, I would be in my final year, but daddy didn’t want me to be known. He didn’t want me to know other things. Dad only taught me the spells, potions and charms that he though would benefit him and our side! The ones he wanted me to learn. By this time, I had all of the dark arts training as someone e twice, maybe three times my age, and had it all perfected.

The only person at the school that has ever seen me before now is that Malfoy boy. Every now and then we will see each other and blush. Now, those secret glimpses aren’t as special since a few others at the school that gather down here try the same, so I have given up. Once a few boys noticed that I was a part of their army, the looks over shoulders were endless. I could sense every eye fall upon me. My eyes got tiered of rolling, and eventually I got so sick of it that I focused forward and ignored them, occasionally still looking up at the Malfoy boy.

Lately my hair has been black and blue, for my spirits have been low. Now they flamed red. I did not want to go out. Not here. Not with them. This ‘war’ has gone on for so long and I want no part of it, and yet, I stand here in a crowd of a select few seventeen and eighteen year olds, and the rest all in their twenties and on.

For an hour before, I slowly painted my lips black, powdered my face and neck and to a pale so close to white, and wiped the silver and black eye shadow over my soft eyelids, thinking the whole way. Thinking of my next battle. For so long, I had been the youngest death eater. I held pride in that, but even if I could find a way out, I would take it in a heartbeat. Why was I born into this? Why me? Well, I guess that someone4 had to be. If not me, would the other one think the same as I? Why do I ponder upon such things when I can do nothing to change any of it? I am here and no one else is me. No on else has done what I have, seen what I have seen or have gone through what I have gone through.

So I am here, about ready to put on my mask. We were all already wearing the long dark cloaks and father was raised on his homemade podium giving the same speech he gives before every battle. ‘Today, to those of you who are new, this will be the one you have trained long and hard for. It is your time. Everyone, this may be your last day, but even if you die, you will die for us, the winning side. Never forget. We will rise over all, no matter how long we fight. No matter how many battles. Go out there and kill.’ Yes, I have it memorized. I have heard it dozens of times. Too many to count. Just goes to show how many of these I have been in, but anyway, here is where he looks out to us and we all reply, ‘Kill!’ and put on our masks.

Tonight, we are going to make an attack on St. Mungos. We want to get rid of their healers. By we, I mean they. As before, I still want no part of this. If I could, I would run and become a muggle. Stay out of this all together, but if father knew this, he would kill me for sure. There is nothing worse than to have an ungrateful witch want to become a muggle. It just wasn’t right, so I keep it to myself.

I never really open up to anyone I guess. The only people that I con actually remember talking to are daddy and my professors. Wait, I did talk to ‘mum,’ until dad came back. It was such a shock seven years ago when I found out who daddy really was. Since then, mum stayed out of my way.

Now I really don’t call here mom. I call her by her name. Bella. Usually I keep to myself. No one can ever try to understand, so I don’t bother. I go out, wordlessly fight, come back with the few other survivors, and go to my room where no one can get me. There, I shed my tears for those who have died with us, those who have died because of us, and those who I have killed. I feel horrible.

A/N: ok, this is the end of chapter one. This was just to get to know the character a bit. longer chapters are coming up. I know that you don’t know her name yet, but you will learn that in the next few chapters. ^_^ Please leave a review!

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