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“Zabini, stop…” I murmured against Blaise’s lips as he guided me toward the couch. Even if I wanted to push him away, he was far too strong for me. Any attempts would prove to be useless. I was torn between wanting to stop because it was wrong, and wanting to keep kissing him. Where had this all come from? Moments ago I had possibly loathed the man, and now I was actually being kissed by him and –I wanted it?

No, I told myself firmly, you don’t want this. You love Draco. You have no desire to kiss Zabini. He means nothing to you.

Even as I silently assured myself this was true, I knew it was not. I loved Draco, yes, but I had a desire to kiss Blaise. But why?

Blaise’s hand rested at the back of my neck as he lowered me onto the couch. I gave a whimper of protest, but it wasn’t loud enough. And I didn’t want it to be loud enough. I wanted to trick myself into thinking that I wanted this to stop. But I knew that I didn’t.

“Zabini…” I murmured anyway as he slipped his hand up my shirt, completely caught up in the moment. He groaned and slowly, reluctantly detached himself from me, holding himself up above me. He gazed down at me, urgency and hunger in his eyes. “What are you doing?” I whispered, unable to find my voice. My lips suddenly felt numb without his touch.

His eyes widened, as if he just realised what was going on. He quickly pulled himself off me and sunk onto the end of the couch, staring at the opposite wall with his mouth wide open. I pulled down my shirt and stared at him, confused. I still found it hard to believe he had kissed me.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered sullenly, his swollen lips barely moving.

I touched my own swollen lips, his taste still there. “But – why?” I asked, my voice almost at breaking point. All I could think about was Blaise’s kiss, the urgency behind it, the passion. And then Draco came into my mind once again and I felt a pang of guilt.

Blaise sighed, avoiding my eyes. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, Granger. It was wrong… Shit, I couldn’t help it!” He laid his head in his hands, his temples tensing.

I daringly moved closer to him. He cautiously looked sideways at me, his wide violet eyes warning me to stay back. I ignored his silent plead and stopped next to him, our thighs touching. I hadn’t meant to do this, but for some reason I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t move away. Blaise seemed aware of our proximity too because he froze, the muscles in his thighs tensing too.

“Zabini?” I prompted, placing my hand on his arm. He suddenly pulled away, pain in his eyes. I was about to rectify my audacity when I heard a sickening ‘pop’ and Blaise disappeared from my side. I sat in a daze, staring at the spot on the couch where he had sat seconds before. I blinked. “Zabini?” I said again, just in case my eyes were deceiving me.

Just then I heard another pop by the front door and jumped up, hoping to see Blaise again. But it was Draco and his eyes widened when he saw me. He crossed the room and enveloped me in his arms, crushing me against his chest. “I’m so sorry about leaving you like that.” He whispered, kissing my forehead tenderly.

I was so confused that I didn’t respond. Thankfully Draco didn’t notice this as he pulled away and looked at me. He smiled down at me before his eyes scanned the room. “Where’s Blaise?”

The words caught in my throat. I struggled to talk. “Um… he’s, er – he left. He had some business to attend to.” It all came spilling out before I had a chance to think properly. I mentally hit myself for sounding like such a blundering idiot. At least the reason was plausible enough.

Draco frowned. “But he’d only just got here.”

I nodded. “Yeah, well…” I trailed off.

Draco shrugged his broad shoulders. “Oh well. I hope he comes back. We didn’t have the chance to entirely catch up.” He said, sweeping a bang of blonde hair out of his eyes.

I felt sick just looking at him, knowing what I had just done with his best friend. I wanted to throw up, to hurt myself for doing so wrong. I wondered whether Draco suspected anything. I prayed to Merlin that he didn’t. I didn’t know what I would do.

Draco bowed out to the shower, leaving me in the living room to mull over what had just happened. I had meant to pull away. I had told myself over and over again that it was wrong. Yet I couldn’t seem to tear myself away, to stop the infidelity. And Blaise hadn’t been so keen to stop either. But I would never forget the look in his eyes, the pain, the longing, the hunger. It scared me but at the same time it intrigued me.

I thought about our time at Hogwarts. He had never so much as looked at me back then. He never made any effort to mock me either like all the other Slytherins. So why the hell had he kissed me? Why had he told me that it hurt him to see me with Draco?

But the biggest and hardest question of all was:

Why did I kiss him back?

*


“Miss Granger, you’re in early,” Claudia commented the next day as she bustled into the office at eight o’clock. She placed her things on her desk and ventured through my wide-open office door. She dropped into one of the chairs opposite my desk.

I sighed wearily, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. “I thought I’d proof read some of these reports before there was a chance for any interruptions.” I lied, giving her a pointed look and she blushed, ashamed.

“Sorry. I’ll just leave you to it then.” I smiled thankfully at her as she bowed out, closing the office door behind her.

I leaned back on my chair, gazing up at the semi-high ceiling. The truth was, I wasn’t in here early to proofread. Reports had been the last thing on my mind when I had made my way here this morning. I hadn’t been able to sleep so I had slipped out of the house unnoticed at six o’clock, leaving Draco alone in our rather large bed. I felt guilty for not leaving a note even though I knew he’d know where I was when he woke up.

Things had been rather awkward last night. By the time Draco had finished in the shower, he had come out to find me already in bed and pretending to be asleep. I knew he must’ve been confused as it had only been nine o’clock. He knew full well I was not one to go to bed early. But he had climbed into bed nevertheless in merely his boxers and put his arm around me where he fell asleep rather quickly. I had tensed up, unmoving for around an hour. Knowing that he could possibly find out what I had done killed me inside.

When I was sure he was asleep, I had climbed out from under his loose grip around my waist and spent the rest of the night on the couch, staring at the wall, unable to fall asleep. Guilt had encased me. It was suffocating me, pushing in on my body, wrapping itself around my veins. I couldn’t even think about Blaise without hating myself.

But I couldn’t help it. Blaise had occupied most of my thoughts since it all happened last night. That look in his eyes, his hold on my arms, his touch, the feel of his lips on mine. I couldn’t shake it all from my head. And the thought that made me feel the guiltiest was the fact that I wanted to do it all again. And, shockingly, I wanted to go further.

It had reached the point where I had started to cry and by the time four-thirty had rolled around I was a big emotional mess. It was then that I knew I couldn’t stand being in this flat, sleeping (or trying to) on the very couch where I had committed the crime. I had taken an hour long bath and found myself in the office, occupying myself with editing. I gave myself the excuse that I was only doing this because the deadline was in a week, but I knew I was only kidding myself.

I heard a knock on my office door around ten minutes later and Claudia peered around. “Miss Granger, there’s a man here to see you.” She said before slipping back out again.

I instantly thought Draco and quickly checked myself to see if I looked anything out of the ordinary before I ventured out into the main building. I froze in mid-stride when I saw Blaise standing opposite Claudia’s desk. His violet eyes pierced into me and a sudden wave of pain washed over me, coming from him. I tilted my head sideways, unspeaking. Blaise nodded at Claudia in thanks and pointed me toward my office, obviously wanting to speak in private. Like a robot, I lead him in and snapped the door shut behind me.

Blaise looked around and I guiltily noted he was wearing black jeans and a tight black shirt that accentuated his more-than-appealing muscles. “So you’re the manager of the oh-so-famous Venus magazine.” It wasn’t a question, rather an observation. He seemed impressed.

I cleared my throat tentatively, causing him to turn and face me. If he felt guilty at all, he was hiding it extremely well.

“I thought you’d become an Auror or something. This is not what I expected.” He indicated the rather fancy office around him. His eyes suddenly landed on a small pin board I had dedicated to photos of Draco and I. I suddenly hated myself for having them up there. But Blaise’s eyes didn’t seem to linger there for long. He finally brought them back to me and I felt shivers run down my spine.

“Why are you here?” I asked hesitantly, managing to steady my voice enough to talk.

Blaise sighed and took a step closer to me. I knew I should take a step away from him but my feet remained rooted to the spot, disobedient.

“Granger –” he stopped himself and cleared his throat –“Hermione, I came by to talk about what happened last night.” He went no further, obviously wishing for me to elaborate for him. But my mouth would not open however much I willed it to. Blaise took this as a cue to continue on his own. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if I ruined anything between you and Draco.”

And that was enough to get me off. I could feel the anger rising within me, instantly boiling my blood. “You’re sorry if you ruined anything between me and Draco?!” I repeated, almost shouting at him. “Are you sorry that you kissed me even when it was completely out of line? Are you sorry that no matter how many times I told you to stop, you persisted?!”

Blaise remained calm and collected, watching me inhale and exhale furiously. He waited a few moments before saying, “No.”

I stared at him, unblinking, shock running through my brain. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what he had said. “How – what?!” I screeched.

Blaise took another step toward me and took my shoulders in his strong grip. I almost fainted, having thought about nothing but his touch all night. “Hermione, I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t at all feel sorry for doing it.” He guided me toward the chair and sat me down, pulling up another chair and sitting directly opposite me.

I blinked at him, still too shocked to form coherent thoughts in my head.

He sighed, taking my hands in his. I noted mine were smaller and his large ones managed to smother them. I shook this thought from my head, surprised at myself for thinking such things when there were more pressing matters at hand. Hand… I almost giggled, surprising myself again.

“It’s taken me a lot of courage to come in here and tell you this,” Blaise continued, looking directly into my eyes. “You see, I’ve wanted to kiss you since our seventh year.”

I retracted my hands, taken aback.

Blaise seemed to laugh at the silliness of it all. “I know, shocking right? But I couldn’t help it. I honestly don’t know what brought it on. No matter how many times I told myself I was just being an idiot, I couldn’t fool myself. I wanted you with a passion. But I knew I couldn’t act on it because of our obvious house differences.” He paused, turning his head to look out the window, no longer able to look at me. “I thought I had rid myself of those feelings after graduation. I was doing well, too. But when I apparated into Draco’s flat yesterday after not having seen him in years, I was shocked to see you there. All those feelings came rushing back and when Draco left me alone with you, the desire overpowered me. I couldn’t help it.” He seemed troubled by his own words.

I was still too shocked to speak. I had not expected an entire spill-out from the former Slytherin. I had only thought he kissed me for the sheer hell of it. But to hear he had desires for me… It was hard to comprehend.

“Blaise…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Was I flattered? Disgusted? Overjoyed? I couldn’t tell.

Blaise turned to me. He gazed into my eyes once again and something seemed to trigger inside of him. I saw that pain and hunger in his eyes again, and knew instantly I should get away from him. But once again my feet would not move.

“So no, I’m not sorry for kissing you Hermione.” Blaise whispered. And without warning he leaned in close, his face so close to mine that I could feel his breathing, feel the heat radiating from him once again. I looked into his eyes, his brilliant violet eyes, the ones I could not remove from my mind since last night, the ones that would torture me forevermore. The ones I would always see when I thought about cheating on Draco.

Blaise placed his hand on the back of my neck and I was surprised by his audacity, but more by the warmth it brought to me. “And I think I might do it again.” He whispered, and before I could react his lips brushed against mine.

I closed my eyes, once again torn between doing the right thing and doing what my body wanted. But it was as if the connections from my brain to my joints had been severed and I could not control my body. As Blaise’s lips crashed down onto mine with more urgency, I wrapped my arms around his neck without the intention. It was then that I knew I could never go back and erase what I was doing.

And a part of me didn’t want to.




A/N: I have some excellent news. And I mean EXCELLENT. I'm finally a trusted author!! xD I'm so happy I could dance! *dances* Haha, I'm so glad it's happened. I was waiting for so long. It's so awesome! But just so you know: I may be able to submit chapters right away, but that doesn't mean you guys can get impatient and constantly pester me about updating. That is my only 'icky' point.

Anyway, back to the story. Again, I know this is rather rushed but as I said before it is meant to happen like this. So it's supposed to be rushed. It's for a reason. Get it? Got it? Good. ^_^

Please read and review! I love reading your comments. xD

Danielle xx

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