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Hermione sat on the couch reading the same lines over and over again. 

The Kiss

Suddenly she jumped off the couch after tossing the book aside. 

I love him

She walked over to the window. 

I have to see him all the time

She looked around, as if she was looking for the answer to her problem.

How can I get over him?

Ever since she’d graduated last year, she hadn’t been able to escape her feelings that she admitted to herself the night of the graduation party. That night....

~{}~ The Graduation Party, Grimmauld Place ~{}~

“Harry, what are you guys up to?” Hermione asked them, trying to distract herself from the fact that she was riding on a broom behind Ron. They were flying away from Grimmauld Place, having just arrived moments before.

“Hermione, I told you. Sirius and Remus are clearing the adults out of the house for the night and most of tomorrow. We’re going to let loose tonight, and they wanted to take care of the arrangements for us. Besides, if Ron’s mum is to believe that we’re going to a club in Muggle London, and that we’re being escorted by Kingsley, then we have to leave for a bit to make that plausible. Sirius took care of it and sent Kingsley out on a tip that will take him until tomorrow to check out,” Harry said with a mischievous grin.

“Harry, I don’t like the idea of Sirius planning our little get-together. You know what he’s like—he’ll have the place filled with Firewhiskey and Merlin knows what else!”

“That’s the point, Hermione, we’re legal aged wizards and witches! It’s about time we had a little fun. The war is over, but there are still Death Eaters on the loose. We’ll be spending a lot of time hunting them down now that we’re able to help. Besides, we weren’t allowed to join in the party when Voldemort kicked it because my nosey mum wouldn’t let us. Sirius promised us this party, ’Mione, and he’s been planning it for weeks. So just relax; we’re only going to ride around for another thirty minutes or so,” Ron said with his own mischievous grin.

“But why do we need to keep them away for most of tomorrow, and not just tonight? We couldn’t possibly have a party that lasts that long,” she said rather curiously as she eyed Harry, who was flying right next to them.

“Well, it’ll take a bit to clean up once the Anti-Hangover potions kick in…” Harry replied.

They flew around London under Disillusionment charms for a while longer before turning around and heading back to Grimmauld Place for the graduation party. Hermione was still whining a bit on their way back, so to shut her up Ron went into a steep dive. He stopped the broom just as they reached the front yard and set down smoothly.

“Ronald Weasley! If you ever, ever, EVER do that to me again, I’ll hex you so bad you won’t be able to—” But suddenly she was shut up as Sirius sneaked up behind her, turned her around, and kissed her on the lips. He pulled away with a wolfish grin when she just stared at him, stunned by his kiss.

“Well, now that Hermione is speechless, let’s take advantage and get a shot or two of Firewhiskey in her,” Sirius said with a laugh as he grabbed her hand and ushered them into the house.

Despite his longstanding crush on Hermione, Ron didn’t pay any mind to the kiss. He knew Sirius was just trying to shut her up for a second so the fun could start.

They all followed Sirius into the house and into the large sitting room. The second they walked through the door, the room lit up with magical strobe lights and floating disco balls. The music of the Weird Sisters blared throughout the room, which was already filled with other newly graduated students, and of course most of the Weasley clan. Hermione walked straight to the makeshift bar and downed a shot of Firewhiskey.

He kissed me. Sirius Black kissed me, Hermione thought over and over. She had always had a lingering crush on Sirius, ever since her third year. But at that moment she thought long and hard about what was really keeping her in a shocked silence, rather than an outraged one. Suddenly it hit her. She started to giggle, and it quickly turned into outright laughing, tears running down her cheeks and all. I’m in love with Sirius. Sirius Black.

When she caught her breath, she grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey and headed for a chair in the corner of the room. She sat there, away from the party, slowly sipping on the bottle for over an hour and watching Sirius. She picked apart her own brain as she watched him dance with some witch her age. What is there to love about Sirius? How can I possibly? I mean, I know he’s handsome. But he’s so full of trouble! I’ve never even seen him pick up a book just for fun. The only thing I’ve ever seen that was remotely related to “reading material” was a copy of PLAYWITCH. Moving naked pictures of witches, with little articles underneath about their hobbies. I have got to be delusional. I know he’s a courageous wizard, but this borders on stupidity. He almost got himself killed the night we broke into the Ministry in fifth year. It took us an hour to revive him once we got him back to headquarters. And ever since he was pardoned by the Ministry he’s spent every spare moment at parties and sleeping around with various witches. I need to face it—I’m in love with an irresponsible bachelor who would never fancy a witch like me.

Lucky me.

That depressing thought swam around in her head as she started to take longer swigs from the bottle. It was around thirty minutes later when Remus noticed her condition. It was obvious as he approached her that she was smashed. He stopped and followed her gaze, wanting to know what was making her look so depressed. He thought his eyes would land on Ron, but he was shocked when they centred on Sirius, who was snogging that girl he’d been dancing with.

Remus approached Hermione slowly, shocked at the thought of what this meant, but still more shocked that she was drinking because of it. He tapped her on the shoulder and it scared her so badly that she slipped off the seat onto the floor. She started laughing as she struggled to get up.

“Harry, come here a moment,” Remus called as he bent to pick Hermione up.

Harry started laughing when he realised she was drunk. “Remus, let me get the camera!”

“No, Harry, she’s upset. Help me get her upstairs and to bed,” he said as he helped her onto her feet and put her arm around his neck.

“Hermione, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this—and please don‘t tell me you miss Hogwarts already…” Harry said as he pulled her other arm around his neck and they started to lead her slowly up the stairs.

She started giggling as she replied, “I’m in love with a social moron.” She giggled again. “The worst part is, he couldn’t possibly fancy me!” she said, followed by another giggle.

Remus and Harry shared a look as they helped each other lift her into her bed. They took off her shoes and tucked her under the covers. Then they left the room and walked slowly down the stairs.

“Remus, do you know what that was about?” Harry asked, wondering what had come over her.

“When I approached her, I noticed her staring at—” He gave Harry a look, wondering if he should tell him.

“Tell me,” Harry said, grabbing his arm and stopping him.

“Harry, she was staring at Sirius,” Remus replied quickly.

“You mean you think she fancies Sirius? You’ve got to be joking. He’s too old for her. He isn’t even her type. Besides, I thought she fancied Ron!” Harry replied heatedly, not wanting to believe this of his best friend.

“Keep your voice down! I don’t know what brought this on; I bet that kiss didn’t help, though. But she was drunk; she was probably exaggerating, but she has to feel something for him to drink like that. You know it’s not like her at all.”

Harry shook his head in agreement. He planned to watch Hermione closely from now on, and if she still showed interest in Sirius, Harry would just talk some sense into her.

~{}~ Present time~{}~

Hermione couldn’t forget that night Sirius had kissed her. She especially couldn’t forget her feelings. Because every time she saw him, he was doing something to make her realise all over again, quite clearly, how much she felt for him and how much it hurt. He was still snogging countless witches, no doubt bedding some as well. It all seemed to slowly break her down. She avoided him as much as possible, but Sirius was definitely one who made sure he was noticed, so it was extremely hard on her. More and more it depressed her; more and more, she grew steadily angry as well.


Later that evening, Hermione went around Grimmauld Place, letting everyone know that a meeting would be held first thing in the morning when Remus got back from his surveillance. He had sent an owl to her, requesting that she make sure everyone was there. As Hermione headed for the library, she took a deep breath. She had already searched the rest of the house with no luck, so Sirius had to be there. As she approached the room she steeled herself and opened the door. Shock, horror, anger, hurt—they all poured through her when she had to see him. This was the last straw.

Sirius was sitting on the couch with some random witch on his lap. He was groping her butt as they snogged like there was no tomorrow. Hermione started to shake, pent-up rage and hurt filling her heart. Out of the corner of his eye Sirius saw her and pulled his face away from the witch in his lap.

“Hermione, haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” he said, only the tiniest bit embarrassed. Harry and Ron walked up behind Hermione; when they saw Sirius they smiled at him, approving of his conquest. But before they could say anything, Hermione started yelling. Loudly.

“Sirius Black! How DARE you bring this girl to headquarters! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU, get out! I don’t care who you are, GET OUT!” she screamed as she pointed at the poor girl, who was clearly embarrassed. As the “poor girl” whipped out of the room, Hermione rounded on Sirius, who was in the process of buttoning his shirt back up. He didn’t even get a chance to speak before she continued. “HOW COULD YOU? Don’t you have ANY decency at all? Is THIS how you plan to live out the rest of your life? Sleeping with every slut you can find, breaking people’s hearts? I’ve HEARD your little whispered promises the nights before you kick them out! HOW could you be so cruel? Don’t you know how much these little escapades hurt?

At this, Sirius jumped up to defend himself. “Why do you bloody care? It’s not you who deals with it. Besides, girls like those know better than to believe any promises from men like me. AND BESIDES THAT, I may have agreed to house the Headquarters here, but it’s still MY BLOODY HOUSE! No one else has a problem with how I live my life! I happen to love my life! I have no bloody problem enjoying it fully after missing twelve years of it in AZKABAN! So why don’t you get off your bloody high horse and get yourself your own life! And leave mine alone!” He was red in the face as he finished yelling, but he stopped suddenly, shocked to see tears running down her face.

She replied dully, “You’re right. I know I have no life. And it isn’t any of my business who you sleep with.” She turned around and ran out of the room, leaving a shocked Harry, Ron, and Sirius behind.

“What the bloody hell was that all about?” Sirius asked, irritated that his “fun” had been interrupted, and even more irritated for that he had somehow made her cry.

Harry walked up to him, not wanting Ron to hear him. “Sirius, I think you should know that Hermione, she…kind of fancies you.”

Sirius started to laugh, but when he took a second to think about it, it made sense. He’d been wondering what was wrong with her for months now. He had the feeling every now and then that she was avoiding him, but he always managed to shake the feelings off since he couldn’t imagine why she would do such a thing. “Harry, that makes no sense, specially if she just fancied me a little. I mean, look how she just blew up at me!”

Suddenly, out of nowhere a fist punched Sirius in his face, knocking him to the ground. He shook his head to clear it and felt a trickle of blood running from his nose. He looked up to see that it was Ron who had punched him and was looking at him furiously. “WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“That’s for hurting ’Mione!” Ron said, and he quickly left the room. Harry couldn’t help but smile at least before giving his godfather a hand.

“Harry, they’ve both gone mad. I still can’t believe Hermione would fancy me. Me! I don’t even like to read! What would she love about me—and how long do you think she’s felt this way?” he asked as he pointed his wand at his nose, muttering a healing spell.

“Actually, I think it really started the night of the graduation party. Remember you kissed her before she could finish yelling at Ron? Well, later on that night, Remus and I put her to bed. She was completely drunk, and muttering things about ‘being in love with a social moron who didn’t love her’. She was talking about you, but I figured she just had a crush or something. I guess I was wrong,” Harry stated. Sirius stared back at him, a faint frown wrinkling his brow. Harry shrugged and left his godfather alone with his tumultuous thoughts.

Sirius walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured a glass of Firewhiskey. What is the stupid chit thinking? Well, she’s not stupid, she’s brilliant actually. But how could she have fallen for me? She’s young and beautiful and deserves someone who can love her back. It’s girls like her who are the reason I live my life like I do! I know I can’t settle down. I mean, if I could I’d want to settle down with someone like her, but girls like her don’t fall for men like me! Except she did. No, she has to be confused. It’s probably just a crush. It has to be. I don’t know what to think about having someone as great as Hermione Granger in love with me! I guess I’ve always had crushes on the brainy types, but this is HERMIONE. She’s my godson’s best friend!

With that last thought, Sirius swallowed the last few swigs in his glass and left the room. He wouldn’t entertain thoughts of his godson’s best friend.

He couldn’t. 


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