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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: Yes, I know I haven’t updated in a while. Forgive me people. But, I am merely a young student who has a busy school schedule, loads of homework, a handful of projects, who has a life, and to top it all of, recently moved and had no time to write. So sorry, I know I haven’t updated for long, but I have my reasons. Hope you like this chapter!

P.S. I Love You
Chapter 9- Gred and Forge

Professor Marsh stood up from his desk in his office and started pacing. He had just gone to the kitchens to check on the process the Heads were surely making when he saw them fighting instead. He wasn’t oblivious, and he wasn’t in on things late either. He knows that there is a history between the two and that six years of despise, hate, and bitterness created a lot of tension. He understands the fact that both of them are too stubborn to fix the problem, or to back down and swallow some pride. Six years is long enough to make a permanent hatred but something has to be done.

Why Dumbledore chose those two to be Heads in the first place was a mystery to Professor Marsh. Dumbledore is a brilliant wizard. Why he would do something as ridiculous as that is just… well ridiculous. How could a man as smart, intelligent, and gifted as him not see that doing something like that would create problems? That they’d never get along? Or that it could possibly be the start of devastation?

Nevertheless, Professor Marsh believed he had the perfect solution. He’d just have to make sure to tell Dumbledorre and get his approval. This whole feud between the two has gotten too far. If given permission, he would start on mission “Make Ferret and Bookworm Become Friends” as soon as possible. He would create the perfect trap for both of them to get along. He would use his class as an excuse. Yes, it would most definitely, absolutely be perfect. And the two wouldn’t be able to escape this time. They’d be trapped. Simply because they wouldn’t dare disobey authority. They were the Heads; surely they wouldn’t do anything extreme for the risks of getting their badges away! Tomorrow, he’d ask Dumbledore.

Hermione lay down on her soft, soft mattress. Just mere minutes ago, she was serving detention with the bloody ferret. She stayed strong, ignoring him. Well, not completely, just partly. She thinks she finally knows how Malfoy’s complex mind works.

Malfoy was a very complex person. His mind works in a very different way. Add in the fact that he’s a boy complicates matters more. After being locked up with him in his room a few weeks back, Hermione was ready to become his friend. She figured that maybe there’s more to Malfoy than just his “dashing good looks” and his large ego. However, after the events of tonight, she doesn’t believe in that anymore.

He’s really what he presents himself to be: the blonde, arrogant ferret of a prick. Although he sometimes acts like a perfect gentleman, he merely does it to impress the ladies to get what he wants: attention. All he does, he does for himself and no one else. Probably not even his parents. It’s just about time that that boy gets a lesson to teach him how to treat not only ladies, but others as well, and most importantly, himself.

Hermione knew that a prank was the perfect way to go. Not just one, but many. The only way he’d learn is by being played a series of pranks on. Having a big project for him to become nice would be timely, costly, and most importantly useless. He’d probably suffer a lot and experience a lot of pain, but he would do so in a short time; and that was something he was probably used to. Nope, Hermione needed a series of pranks that would make him suffer a lot each time and a pain that could last long, maybe a few months. And possibly from humiliation and total embarrassment.

What on earth she was going to do was the biggest question. Probably do something muggle-related, or elf-related. In short, she needed a prank that would be related to something he terribly dislikes. Hermione was even considering putting herself in the prank. But the risks are too high, so she’d have to think. She needed a perfect revenge and she knew the perfect place to get ideas. Fred and George. First thing during the weekend, she’d go and pay them a visit. Fred and George were the best pranksters she knew. For sure, they have something up their sleeves that would create the perfect lesson for Ferret Boy.

Malfoy sat in his bedroom pondering that night’s events. He knew he had ticked off Granger. It was bloody perfect. But what he hadn’t anticipated was the fact that he’d get ticked of too. Stupid Granger. She always had to be over-analytical. She thinks she knows everything. Well, for once in her damn life, Hermione Granger is wrong. Malfoy didn’t need attention. He is NOT the way he is because he’s deprived of it. He was going to get back at Granger for being so annoying.

He needed a big prank that would embarrass her. Something so grand, that the whole school would know all about it. It would have to embarrass her and make her mad all at the same time. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the thought of Granger being embarrassed. Malfoy thinks he knew the perfect way to get Granger mad: make everyone see her make a big mistake. He’s got enough connections to execute the prank. Tomorrow, he’d get started on planning.

The bright sun shone throughout the hallways and corridors of Hogwarts Castle. The sky was blue and a mild wind had started to blow from the East. The day was still early and birds could be heard chirping outside, signalizing the rise of the sun.

Professor Marsh walked briskly out of his office. It was still pretty early and most students are still fast asleep. He needed Professor Dumbledore’s permission for his plans as soon as possible. He knows that the Headmaster wakes up early because he’s always awake before anyone else, already eating at the Staff Table.

Professor Marsh walked out into the Great Hall. Seeing as it was still very early, the Great Hall was still empty, apart from a few students from each house. The Professor looked around for signs of the Headmaster as well as any other teacher. The last thing he needed was another teacher to knock some sense into the Headmaster’s head while he was proposing his plan. He finally saw Dumbledore and went up to him.

“Good morning Albus! How’s your morning so far?” He started.

“It has been excellent Jeremy. It got even better when I received a box of lemon drops from a sweets shop in France. It absolutely made my morning.” He responded with a large grin, blue eyes sparkling.

“Well mine wasn’t exactly the best after what I had to get through last night.”

“Oh? What happened?” Dumbledore inquired, his eyebrows furrowing together.

“Well, your fabulous Heads thought it would be fun to make a mess and fight instead of serving their detention last night.”

“Listen Jeremy, I know you think that I was a lunatic to think that putting them as Heads would be a great idea. Trust me, it is. I want to promote house unity. The only way I could think of doing that is by putting a Gryffindor and a Slytherin together as Heads. If they manage to get along and work together, surely everyone would follow suit. And you know well about our traditions with the Heads. They always have to work together, and open every single ball with a dance. If those traditions are not enough, I’ll think up of something just to ensure that they get along and promote house unity. But, by what you’re telling me and at the rate they’re going, I bet I’d have to assign new Heads soon.”

“I understand Headmaster. I do think that promoting house unity through the Heads is a great idea. I knew you’d be no fool to do a silly thing. If you’d let me, I think I have the perfect way to get the Heads to get along and start promoting house unity. See, those two would never get along until something drastic happens that will affect both of them greatly. I think that if I could use my class as an excuse to trap those two together, they’d get along and you wouldn’t need new Heads.”

“What exactly is it that you’re planning to do Jeremy?”

“Well Albus, I was thinking…” Professor Marsh and Professor Dumbledore discussed their situation and devised a perfect plan to make the two get along. It would take a while, probably not for another three months; until the end of January. By then, Malfoy and Hermione could have killed each other, but the two are willing to risk it. They’re the best students to be Heads. The others are not as smart, nor will they make good examples to the other people.

With the plan on mind, the two Professors continued eating their breakfasts. The mission was to be executed at the last week of January as a Defense Against the Dark Arts trust project. Yes, it was the biggest one they’d ever get, and the students will have to really trust one another in this one. But for today, Professor Marsh thinks he needs yet another trust activity to give to those naughty students of his.

Hermione found herself once again in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Marsh said that they’d once again be doing the holding hands activity. Leave it to the Professors to make the students interact with the people they loathe. Life is really not fair.

“Alright students, please stand up and face your partners.”

Hermione stayed rooted to her spot. Malfoy also stayed seated. Both of them were being stubborn. It was as if the two were giving each other challenges and neither wants to back down.

“Not again!” Professor Marsh exclaimed. “Listen here you two. If you’re not going to follow instructions, then you’d might as well leave the class, get a bad grade, and give up your badges! Professor Dumbledore and I have both agreed that if we see anymore dislike between the two of you, we will be forced to assign new Heads! You both are not setting good examples for these students! Now, follow my instructions and do the trust activity!”

So, Hermione and Malfoy both stood up and hesitantly stuck out their arms. For the next hour of class, there they stood in the middle of the classroom, looking murderous and disgusted all at the same time, holding hands and following instructions. It was tolerable until Malfoy had to let slip yet another insult.

“Are muggles really that dirty that there hands are so slimy?” He asked feigning examining his hands right after he and Hermione let go of each other’s hands.

Hermione was practically steaming by this time. But, she knew better than retort back or it might just result in another commotion. Instead, she stayed quiet and opted looking at Malfoy murderously. If looks could kill, Malfoy would be dead. Unfortunately, it can’t and he chose to keep throwing more insults.

“Hello? Were you brain-washed from last night that you can’t recognize an insult anymore?” He said jokingly.

“Perhaps you’ve finally realized that I’m better than you and you’ve got to respect your superiors?”

“Hmm… maybe that soap did you some good, washed out all the know-it-all-ness.” He said with a satisfied grin.

Hermione couldn’t take it anymore. She had to say something, but not something insulting. So, she decided to caution him about her pranks in a not so obvious way.

“No I haven’t lost my brain, in fact, it’s still intact and I thought that by retorting, I’d only cost commotion. I don’t want to lose my badge. Second, you better watch out Malfoy, you never know what’s lurking in every corner, ready to attack.” Hermione said with a satisfied smirk.

Malfoy at first, looked scared. But it was completely gone in a second and taken over by a bigger smirk than Hermione’s. “Oh but you’re the one who should watch out. Remember, you’re a mudblood, and Death Eaters are still at large.”

Hermione’s smirk faded and was replaced by a look of unadulterated horror. This part was true. But, she will NOT say anything. She’d get her revenge soon enough. She ignored Malfoy for the rest of the day and thankfully, he didn’t bother her anymore.

The day went on, and before Hermione knew it, it was night again. Time for another one of her detentions. She was to report to the kitchens once again to clean the dishes with Malfoy. Only this time, they wouldn’t get out until at least one thousand plates have been washed.

When she got there, she found Malfoy already starting to wash. That was a surprise. The night kept on. As it got later, their stack grew taller and taller until they had to start on another one for fear of the plates dropping. Not once did either of them utter a single word. Both were deep in thought, both planning on their revenges, and all the while not knowing that the other is doing the same thing. Finally, Professor Marsh arrived and with a satisfied smile, he let the two go.

The week passed by relatively quickly and the weekend has arrived. Hermione had to ask Professor Dumbledore for permission to go to Diagon Alley to see Fred and George. The headmaster allowed her to go without any questions at all. Hermione, dressed in muggle jeans, a three-fourths sleeve pink striped shirt, and some chuck Taylor’s, under a big robe, apparated away to the twins’ joke shop. Once there, she was quickly greeted by the two.

“Hermione! Long time-”

“No see!”

“How are you?”

“What can we do for you?” They asked and all the while hugging her, crushing her bones and depriving her of air.

“Well hello to you guys too! I’m great! Actually, I could be doing better if not for one thing.” She said with a slight frown.

The twins looked at one another then at Hermione, “What’s the matter.”

“Oh well, Dumbledore decided to make me Head this year, and alongside me, is Malfoy! Not only is he Head Boy, he’s also my trust partner in DADA, my year-long partner I might add, and he is annoying the brains out of me. And to top it all of, he’s insulted me terribly about a week ago!”

“You know, most of the things you just mentioned don’t really make any sense right now.” George said.

So, for thirty minutes, Hermione explained everything that has happened the moment she stepped foot on the train. She told them about their quarters, the DADA project, Malfoy being her trust partner, the night they got locked in, his sudden change of attitude, and the recent insults.

“I just can’t take it anymore! He is just the world’s biggest prick. And now, I want revenge. No. I need revenge. I need a prank. And who better to ask than you two? Right?”

“Right you are Hermione.”

“We think we’ve got-”

“THE perfect prank for young-”

“Mr. Malfoy here.”

Fred and George lead Hermione to the back room. It had lots of different vials filled with various colors. Everything seemed to be fuzzy, bubbling, and alive. Thousands of shelves were lining up the walls, with innumerable potions and different gadgets. It was a prankster’s palace indeed.

“Hermione Granger, may we introduce to you-” George started.

“The invisibility potion.” Fred finished.

“You see, we concocted this potion in hopes of making humans invisible, only to find out-”

“That if rubbed in a part of the body, all of the material things on the body disappear, in short, he becomes stark naked.”

“All you have to do is make sure that in some way, even just the tiniest bit, this potion gets in contact with Malfoy’s body. And be careful on your missions, because you might end up naked yourself. Through his own eyes, Malfoy will see himself as normal, but to other people, he’s completely naked.” George said with a grin.

“Perfect! How much do I owe you guys?”

“No worries, Hermione dearest. The potion’s on us. Besides, we just needed new testers for our latest invention.” Fred said.

“And lastly, don’t ever let Filch see this. He will confiscate it and all plans are ruined. Got it?” George added.

“Got it. Thanks so much you guys! You’re the best!” Hermione said hugging both twins in bone-crushing hugs. With that, Hermione departed and left back for Hogwarts.


Malfoy sat at the Slytherin Common Rooms, finding himself somewhat uncomfortable and unfamiliar after spending the better part of six years in here. It was odd indeed. He wanted to talk to Blaise on how to create the perfect prank for Hermione Granger.

“So what’s up with you Malfoy? What can I do for you?” Blaise asked.

“Well I was hoping you could help me with something. See, I’m tired of know-it-all Granger, and I need a prank that will piss her off terribly. Possibly something that would make her say the wrong things, make mistakes, the works.” Malfoy responded.

Blaise scratched his chin thoughtfully. He stood up from the arm chair and raced to the boys’ dormitories. Malfoy didn’t bother following. He returned in a couple of minutes with a big box. He sat back down and opened it.

“Well, this is all I have. Let’s see. I have… one bottle of polyjuice potion and a couple of vials of Zonko’s Dumb Serum, and many, many empty flasks. What do you think would be useful?” He said, his eyes full of twinkle and mischief.

“I think I might just need the bottle of polyjuice potion and those vials of Zonko’s Dumb Serum. That’s the serum that always makes you say the wrong thing right?” Blaise nodded. “Perfect then.”

“Why do you need the polyjuice for?”

“Simple.” Malfoy said with a grin. “I pretend to be Potter or Weasel or Weaselette, slip some serum into her juice in the Gryffindor table at breakfast for about two weeks, and she’d be saying the wrong things for that same amount of time. And, while I do that, I’ll need your help. I need you to get whoever it is I’m portraying, hide him or her in a cupboard somewhere, and when I’m done, do a memory charm that will erase the time it took for me to slip serum on Granger, and replace it with the one I just went through. Are you up for it?”

Blaise grinned. “Anything for you, Malfoy, and anything to tick off Granger. It’s time to prove to her she doesn’t know everything. And that includes the fact that we could get revenge in great ways.”

Malfoy nodded in agreement. “This is just too perfect. Get ready Granger, you’re up for a bumpy ride, and some swallowing of pride.”

A/N: Sorry that took forever. My apologies everyone. Anyways, I know that wasn’t the greatest chapter but, I had to create a “bridge” for the next chapter. I had that one planned for a few weeks now. Be on the look out for next chapter. That one’s coming up quicker than this one had.

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