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They had agreed to make the end of their relationship a clean split. They didn’t have a story and they wouldn’t make a big deal of it. If someone asked, they would simply reply with “we saw just how different we were. It would never work.” With the few people they’ve tried it on, it worked. When they pressed for details, they walked away. It was not a big deal and it would not turn into one. The plan had failed. Neither was supposed to get hurt, and they both did.

The last few days of the Holiday were quite. Sometimes, Melody would go off with Mrs. Potter and the rest of the time, she was inside her room. She was unsure of whether or not she regretted what she had done. Walking away from the one person that made her happy was a stupid move, but was it the right one? Things were getting to real between her and Sirius, it was probably best just to go back to the way things were supposed to be.

Sirius, on the other hand, was crushed. It was the first time in his life that he was so hurt when turned away. He knew it was because of how serious his affection for Melody had gone. Yes, he had admitted that he loved her, but to actually see her walk away from him, he realized just how deep the emotion went. He felt empty; like he was just this thing with no emotion and no feeling. He was numb to everything. No longer could he laugh or even think about laughing. All Sirius wanted was to make things like they were during Christmas. He wanted to feel her lips on his own and to be able to just. . .be with her. It was torture what Sirius felt.

Out of everyone, Mrs. Potter was the most surprised about the “break up”. She thought and knew that Sirius was in love with Melody and had thought Melody was in love with him. But it seemed she was wrong. The sparks she saw between the two didn’t seem to be as strong as she had figured.

James was worried for Sirius. He knew Sirius was suffering and no matter what they did, Sirius seemed to get worse. Every time James tried to mention what happened, Sirius would shake his head, not wanting to talk about it at all. After a while, James started to try and talk to Melody. Asking her what went wrong and why she pushed Sirius away. She just looked away sadly.

It was during one of these attempts that James frowned at Melody as she looked away. She was too sad for someone who was not in love with Sirius. It was then that James began to suspect. It was simple to see why Sirius was sad, Melody was first girl he ever got so close to saying ‘I love you’ to. And Sirius was the first guy that ever really liked Melody because of who she was, not what she looked like. James, who had refused to go to Lily’s home to watch out for Sirius, went to Lily, who had also stayed behind.

They spent all night whispering about Melody and Sirius. They both came to the same simple conclusion. Neither were doubtful about their accusations, for they knew at least half was true and the other half was just to obvious.

They were in love.

There was no doubt about it. Melody was obviously still doubting her feelings while Sirius wanted to act on his. She was scared, Melody was. She didn’t want to get hurt and she didn’t want to lose Sirius as a friend. The feeling of losing Kyle was hard, but to lose Sirius? She knew she would die if that happened. And now, too late to go back, Melody realized that she had given Sirius up. She had convinced herself that she could not get Sirius back.

Now, as Lily, Lisa, and Melody sat in a quiet compartment on the Hogwarts Express, Melody sighed. Things would be so different now. No more Sirius and no more laughs. She decided everything for her would be school work. She’ll study hard and work until she cannot anymore. She would do amazing on her N.E.W.Ts and refuse to let another boy get in the way of her life. They were much to stressful and much to dramatic.

The entire train ride, Melody stared out the window with a faraway look in her eye. She would not eat and she would not talk. Lily left for about two hours for a Heads meeting and returned to find Melody in the same position still. Lisa and Lily were worried. Worried with nothing to do but hope Melody gets over it. She was sulking in her fear of loneliness, which could not be a good thing at all.

When the train finally came to a stop at the Hogsmeade station, Melody trailed behind her friends like a shadow. She did not look at anyone. She did not apologize when she ran into someone. And she did not care that her hair was drenched from the rain that seemed to come when things between her and Sirius completely fell apart. She wanted a warm bed and that was all. She would skip dinner. Her appetite had been limited since New Years, anyways.

The girls entered the Great Hall and Melody paused. It was almost as if she were waiting for Sirius to slip his hand into hers and kiss her softly on the temple, saving a special smile just for her. But all she felt was the cold wind around her wrist and she sighed, heading for the stairs without even looking over her shoulder.

“Melody?” Lily called, “Where are you going?”

“Bed,” Melody muttered and continued to walk away. Lily went to
say something more, but Lisa shook her head and pulled her friend towards the Great Hall.

When Melody was on top of the stairs, she turned and glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes met a pair of grey ones and she looked away quickly, heart pounding. She could not look at Sirius. She did not want to. Seeing him made her think of all the times they had together.

She missed him, Melody will admit it, but she can do nothing about it now. It was much to late to go back and redo things. Her and Sirius were obviously just not fit for one another. Not meant to be. . .

Once Melody reached the common room, she entered it and went right up to her dormitory. She laid down on her bed and stared across the room at the window. The raindrops. . .some combining themselves with others, some running down the glass alone forever. Melody was one of those that ran down alone. . .never to have someone to cling onto. Suddenly, she choked and then shook. Tears finally escaped from the corner of her eyes for the first time since New Year’s. It was a long time before she finally dozed off.

-*-*-*-*-

Sirius was in a bad mood. It seemed to be his permanent mood since he watched Melody walk away from him. He was so close to telling her that he loved her. Even closer to telling her that he can’t live without her. And she walked away. She did not smile and kiss him again. She did not tell him that she felt the same way. And she did not tell him why they couldn’t do any of it. If he were not so heartbroken, Sirius would be rather confused.

He had watched her go right up to bed. She was skipping dinner, which Sirius did not like. She needed to eat. He was almost tempted to chance after Melody and tell her that he would make sure she got something in her system. But he knew he could not. Melody did not want him. She never did. She pretended the whole time, even when they kissed so passionately. There was never anything there that she felt for Sirius. Nothing but friendship. . .and Sirius wasn’t even sure if friendship had even been there.

The way Sirius saw it, Melody had pretty much used him.

And he had allowed her too. Just like James had said when all of this started.

He felt stupid, Sirius did, for allowing himself to “pretend” to date someone. It was a mistake, he knew, to even think of the idea let alone agree to it. There were other ways to help Melody, wasn’t there? Ways that a sensitive romantic like Sirius would be safe from falling in love from. But no. Sirius had to play with love and he ends up getting hurt. . .and hurting Melody in the process.

Sirius knew James thought Melody was upset because she loved Sirius and was only just now admitting it. But Sirius thought that Melody was so depressed over this because she had lost a friend. She was alone pretty much again, living in her worst fear. Sirius wanted to hold her and tell her not to be afraid. That she was much to pretty and amazing to ever be alone for long.

Now as Sirius sat with James, Remus, and Peter at the Gryffindor table, Sirius tried to picture Melody standing next to another guy. It was, unfortunately, easier then he thought and the picture that formed made his stomach twist and his heart break a little more. He looked down at his plate of food, his appetite gone. Sighing, Sirius kept his head down, trying to find something to distract him.

“Sirius?” James asked, “Are you okay?”

Sirius looked up at James, “Just dandy, Prongs, just dandy,” he snapped. James frowned.

“Sorry, mate, I’m just worried about you. You need to eat something,” James urged, nodding to the platters of food before them. Sirius just shook his head and stood.

“I’m going for walk,” he muttered. James sighed and then nodded in defeat, knowing that he could do nothing. Remus and Peter exchanged looks and gave Sirius encouraging smiles. He looked away and began walking away. He slipped out onto the grounds and started for the lake, the rain soaked him through in seconds. As soon as he was sure that no one was around and that was he was not visible, he turned into his dog form.

Naturally, Sirius began to run. He crossed the grounds and went right into the forbidden forest, a black blur in the night.

He panted heavily as he zigzagged through the trees, cursing them for slowing him down. He vaulted over some fallen logs and barely avoided the centaurs. After spooking some unicorns and startling a giant spider from where it hid, Sirius finally stopped, collapsing on the ground. He was deep into the forest, farther then he had ever gone with even Remus while he was in his werewolf form. It was dark and eerie, but Sirius did not care. He did not care that the rain was causing him to shiver from cold. He did not care at all.

Remembering his days from his childhood, Sirius transformed back to him human form and rolled onto his back, staring at the heavy canopy above him. He could see no sky. Closing his eyes, Sirius slowly began to block out everything he felt. It was harder then he remembered. Back when his mind was filled with lies of Muggle borns and he idolized his father, it had been so much easier.

Eventually, Sirius opened his eyes. He felt like he had pushed his whole soul away. Like he emptied himself. Sirius knew that his pain and his love for Melody was still there, but he ignored those feelings, willing himself to feel nothing. When he was sure he would be okay, he sat up and stood. Not bothering to turn into a dog, Sirius slowly picked his way back to the castle.

It had taken longer then he had thought and Sirius finally emerged from the forest at about two in the morning. The rain had let up some, but Sirius was still freezing. He did not give into it though as he entered the Great Hall and took a short cut to the seventh floor. He entered the Gryffindor common room only to find James, Remus, and Peter sitting in front of the fire. Remus was still reading, though looking dazed while Peter dozed in the arm chair. James was alert.

As soon as the portrait closed behind Sirius, James was up and walking towards Sirius. He looked ready to hug Sirius, but paused seeing how wet he was.

“We were afraid you hurt yourself. I was about to go looking for you,” James said.

“I’m fine,” Sirius shrugged, his voice didn’t sound like his own. It was hallow and emotionless. James frowned, also hearing his different tone.

“What’s wrong?” James asked.

“Nothing,” Sirius shook his head, speaking in that strange voice again, “I’m going to bed. Good night.”

James, Remus, and Peter watched with concerned eyes as Sirius went up the stairs to the dormitory. He entered it and changed into dry clothes. He crawled into bed, closing over the bed hangings and then laid back. He stared at the ceiling. After a few moments, the others came in. They did not go to bed right away.

“Prongs, leave him alone,” came Remus’ muffled voice.

“I just want to see if he’s asleep,” James replied.

“James, he just lost the first girl he’s ever loved. He’s going to be distant for a while. He’ll talk to you when he’s ready. For now, let him be alone.” Remus said. There was a moment of silence.

“He’ll be okay, James. He’s strong,” Peter added.

“I don’t think he’s strong enough for this,” James muttered and then the dormitory was silent. Sirius smiled bitterly.

-*-*-*-*-

Melody glared at her parchment. She didn’t understand what she was supposed to be doing. Well, she understood that she was writing an essay, she just didn’t understand the topic. How was she supposed to know how to fix an attempt to turn into an animagus gone wrong? She wasn’t one! The books in front of her told her nothing. It was like someone had ripped out those pages. In a few books, she swore there was signs of that happening.

The biggest one being three page numbers being skipped.

It had been three weeks since they returned from Christmas break. Melody didn’t cry herself to sleep anymore and she was still close with Lily and Lisa. Her grades were suffering, yes, and she felt an ache in her heart whenever she saw Sirius walking down the halls with his friends or sitting in the classroom, but otherwise, Melody knew she would be okay. Though, Melody still wanted to do the things she had swore she would do. The main one being to get James and plan where they were going to see whether or not Regulus Black was a Death Eater. That would mean Melody would need to catch James away from Sirius. She could not cross his path.

And while Melody knew she would live and move on, she worried about Sirius still. She hadn’t seen him laugh, smile, or even speak since they arrived. His eyes that had comforted her so many times seemed dead and he had a stiff edge to him. Almost as if he felt he would break if he bent. Like he was keeping something away. It took all of Melody’s will power to hold herself back from going up to him and putting an arm around him.

She still missed him terribly, too. Only three weeks and there was a part of Melody that longed for him. And not just because with him, her transfiguration essay would be done. He had been more then her “pretend” boyfriend. He had been her best friend. And it was simple as anything to see now that they had not been pretending at all. No matter how many times they told each other they were.

Giving up on her essay, Melody put her things away and stood up. She turned to leave the library when she almost walked straight into Kyle and Marissa. Her emotions could not take them so she rolled her eyes at them and tried to go around. But Kyle blocked her path. She glared at both of them.

“What the hell do you want?” she spat.

“To talk,” Marissa said with a sickly sweet smile, “About you and Sirius.”

“There’s nothing to talk about Marissa,” Melody rolled her eyes and tried to go around them again.

“No?” Marissa looked at Kyle, “Well, I thought there was much to talk about. Starting with a great job you were at pretending.”

“Pretending?” Melody raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about.”

“No need to get bitchy, Melody,” Kyle smirked. Marissa nodded and then glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was around. She looked back at Melody.

“Yes, Melody, pretend. We know.” she said, looking so triumph that Melody almost jumped on her and clawed her eyes out. Marissa pushed some hair out of her eyes and frowned.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, trying to stay calm and not panic.

“You know,” Kyle rolled his eyes, “Marissa and I over heard Potter and Lupin talking the other day. I have to say, you really had the whole school fooled. Everything was so damn convincing.”

“And I thought I was such a bitch,” Marissa laughed, “Honestly Melody, I almost want to be friends again. You got the guy I can’t have and desperately want—even if it’s just once or twice—and got him to pretend to date you. Not only that, Kyle hates Sirius. It was brilliant, I must say. You had us fooled and wanting to murder you both. Now I just want to laugh and say it was a pathetic attempt.”

Melody’s mind raced. There was no way to get out of this from what she was getting. With tears in her eyes, Melody glared at the people who had betrayed her. Without them deciding to shag each other, she would have never known what a wonderful and fun person Sirius was.

“Aw, you’re going to cry now?” Marissa asked, sticking out her bottom lip, “Well, I think I would too. Looks like your attempt to get revenge on Kyle on me backfired. You ended up hurting yourself. And Sirius is dead practically.”

“What?” Melody whispered.

“How else could you fool the whole school?” Kyle laughed, “You never even thought of looking at me the way you did Black. And now, you’re suffering. It’s called Karma.”

“And where’s your Karma?” Melody glared, “Where is your payback for what you did to me? Let me tell you something, Kyle, I feel worse losing Sirius after a few months then I ever did losing you after two years. Sirius understood me in a way that you never will. He liked me because of me. Not my face.”

“You’re still telling yourself that?” Marissa laughed a shrill laugh.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” James appeared next to Melody and stood slightly in front of her, “Just because you’re jealous that you can’t have what Melody and Sirius had doesn’t mean you have to make her feel like nothing. Now get out of here before I hex you both.”

Marissa and Kyle looked at one another, smirking and James drew his wand. They turned away and began to walk off, laughing. James waved his wand. Melody had to laugh aloud for the first time in weeks as she watched the two people that ruined her life transfigure into pigs. Not cute ones either. Big, fat, ugly ones. The librarian gasped before standing and herding them out of the library, yelling things about dirtying her precious books.

James smirked, pocketing his wand. He turned around and smiled at Melody. He hugged her quickly before looking at her in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Melody nodded, even though she was disturbed with the thought of the whole school finding out what went on between Melody and Sirius was an act. Marissa and Kyle were probably already spreading word around.

“I’m fine,” she said.

James smiled slightly, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“I have to too, actually,” Melody said, adjusting the strap on her bag.

“You can go first,” James nodded. Melody shrugged.

“Okay. Well, remember how your parents said Regulus was on the list of possible Death Eaters? I want to keep my promise to Sirius and actually find out if it is true or not.” Melody said. James gasped as he remembered.

“We still have to do that, don’t we?” he said, “Okay. I’ll keep watch on him. We have to catch him alone.”

“Sounds good,” Melody smiled, happy to help Sirius in some way, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Sirius, of course,” James said. They began leaving the library and walking down the corridor.

“What about him?” Melody asked, her smile fading to a sad frown.

“He’s really out of it, Melody. And I mean, really. Remus and I thought she would come out of it in a few days, you know? That he’d get his spark back. . .but he’s almost not there anymore. He doesn’t talk and when he does, it’s a bitter, sarcastic remark. He didn’t help Remus last night and he—”

“Help Remus?” Melody interrupted, “Wasn’t last night a Full Moon?”

“Er, yeah, anyways,” James went on quickly giving Melody no time to ponder, “I think that maybe, if you talk to him just once. . .he might be Padfoot again. I don’t like what is happening to him.”

“Talk to him?” Melody asked weakly.

“Yes. Just say hello and tell him that you miss him. He loved you, Melody. Just let him know that you had some sort of feelings for him. Please?” James looked helpless. Melody just shrugged.

“I think about it,” she said.

“Melody—”

“James,” Melody glared at him, “Don’t. I love Sirius. I lost him. I can’t get him back. I don’t want to talk to him. Not just yet. It hurts too much.”

James smiled, “Okay.”

He turned and walked off. Or strutted rather. Melody watched him go feeling a bit lost. And then she gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. She just said she loved him. And there was no denying that was the truth.





A/N: I am not going to apologize for getting this out late. With Easter and other real life things going on, really I had no time to write so much as a sentence. Not to mention I have other things to do too. Such as my original story, my site, homework, etc. I'll say that I felt bad for not getting this out in time, but I won't apologize.

Also, if anyone is going to complain about the wait, I'll make you guys wait four weeks instead of three for the next chapter. I have a life, though i say I don't, and i can't always stick to my new chapter a week thing.

Now, on a lighter note, I got a new banner. And I like this one a WHOLE lot better. Dunno why either. It just looks nicer I guess. . .

Thanks so much for waiting guys.
The next chapter won't take so long. I got inspiration today while listening to music, of course. *sends thank yous to Soasin*

currently listening to: the Secret by Emery. Great band. I highly recommend them.

Love you all!

xoxo
Carolyn!

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