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A/N: This chapter was a struggle to get out, not writing it but the editing and once again thank you, Jackie. I know it was tough and we hit some rough waters but it was worth it in the end! Thank you to Tahi (Siriusly Crack) for the first two pranks! Song used is “One Way Or Another” by Blondie. It’s a very long chapter so my lovely readers: ENJOY!

The sun shone through the large glass windows of Hogwarts, casting their light on Amy’s sleeping face. She opened her stormy blue eyes only to slam them shut after the bright wake up call. Slowly, she slung herself out of bed, remembering she was not at home. Luckily, no one was using the bathroom at the moment, so Amy could get ready. Amy brushed her teeth, took a quick shower and threw on her new Gryffindor robes and uniform. She organized her books and supplies before placing them in her bag.

Afterwards, she followed the rest of the Gryffindors down the Great Hall. Once she sat down, Amy came to the conclusion that Hogwarts’ food was the best she had ever tasted, that would be confirmed once she had lunch. As she ate, Amy noticed the familiar redhead with the brilliant almond shaped green eyes going over her schedule. Amy decided to introduce herself.

“Hi.” Amy said, from across the table, looking up from her plate.

“Oh, hi.” The girl replied, setting her schedule down.
“I’m Amy.” Amy smiled, with a small wave.

“I know,” The redhead smiled back,” I’m Lily Evans.”
Amy reached over the table to shake her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lily.” Amy grinned.

“Thanks, it’s nice to meet you too, finally.” Lily replied.

Lily was very beautiful, Amy noted. She last noticed that Lily was one of the few girls not surrounded by a chatting group of friends. It was just her and her schedule. They’re probably jealous. Amy thought.

“Sorry for not talking to you yesterday. You know, first day and everything.”

“Oh, it’s fine, really. I just wanted to meet you. I’m a big fan of your mum’s work.” Lily grinned.

“Ah, a fellow feminist! They seem rare in this country, so I’m guessing
you’re a muggleborn if you know about my mom.” Amy guessed.

“Yes, I am, you?”

“Yeah. My mom’s really excited to help the British female population. Especially after hearing about Han--”

“Hansen and Colbert.” Lily finished.

“Ah, so you know.” Amy said, still smiling.

“My mum tried to apply there.” Lily answered.

“Yikes.” Amy said with raised eyebrows.

“Tell me about it.” Lily sighed.

“So what classes are you taking?” Lily asked, regaining her excited, pleasant manner.

Amy smiled at her enthusiasm and reached in her bag, getting her schedule.

“Here.” Amy replied, handing it to her.

Lily’s green eyes ran rapidly over the page.

“Oh my goodness, this is strange! You and I have the same schedule!” Lily exclaimed.

“What?” Amy asked, not believing that the first person she met and that liked her was in all her classes.

“We have Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Charms with most of the Gryffindors. But you and I have Arithmancy Astronomy, History of Magic, and Muggle Studies together.” Lily explained.

“Oh, I see. How’d you do on your O.W.L.S? What was your ratio for good performance?” Amy asked.

“Eleven out of eleven, all outstanding.” Lily replied, proudly.

“Wow…that makes you the smartest person I’ve ever met.” Amy replied amazed.

Lily’s cheeks went a little pink.

“I got nine out of ten. I know it’s not as spectacular as eleven out of eleven but I didn’t take as many as you did and--”

“Oh, come on! The classes you’re taking and your O.W.L.S.—that’s amazing! You’re really smart and you should be proud of it, like me.” Lily beamed.

Where has she been all my life? This girl is fantastic!
Amy thought.

“So, I saw you talking to Black and his friends.” Lily began, almost apprehensively.

“Black? Oh—that’s his last name?” Amy asked puzzled.

“Yeah…you’re not friends with him are you?” Lily asked, sounding a little worried.

Amy nearly sprayed her pumpkin juice all over the table.

“God, no! You see, we met at that International Wizard Conference.” Amy told her.

“Oh, I was sick. I couldn’t go.” Lily said.

“You didn’t miss much, trust me. Anyways, they were there and…” Amy went into the whole story, for the second time, it felt like the millionth.

Throughout the story, Lily gasped, her eyes grew wide and she laughed all in the right places. She was the perfect audience.

“So now we’re gonna have some kind of prank war.” Amy finished in a
dismal tone.

“Are you worried?” Lily asked, eyes still wide.

“No, because I’m gonna win,” Amy smiled confidently,” so how do you know them?”

“You don’t wanna---you’ll see.” Lily sighed, a little annoyed.
Amy wondered if she did something wrong.

“It’s not you,” Lily sighed,” it just gets annoying year after year.”
Amy nodded, even though she had no idea what she was agreeing about.

“We should get to Potions; Slughorn will want to meet you. I-I mean if you’re good at potions.” Lily said getting up.

“I’m all right.” Amy lied. She didn’t feel like showing up her new friend just yet.

On the way to the Dungeons, Amy found out what annoyed Lily year after year.

“Oi! Evans!” A familiar voice called behind the girls.
Lily’s pretty features furrowed in aggravation.
“What, now, Potter?” Lily sighed.

James ruffled his hair and grinned at her before continuing.

“So is the year you’ll finally go out with me?”

“James Potter, every year you ask me this question and every year I give you the same answer. No!” Lily spat.
Amy chuckled a bit, letting her presence be known, as she watched. Not before long, James was surrounded by his friends.
Sirius and Peter glared at her, while Remus gave an innocent wave.

“Evans, why on earth are you hanging out with her?” James asked, with great dislike.

“First, she doesn’t ask me stupid questions and second because I want to! I don’t need your permission to befriend anybody. And I don’t need your approval.” Lily snapped, before grabbing Amy’s arm, leading her to class.

“Bye, bye, boys!” Amy called in a sing-song voice.

“Argh! I cannot believe her!” James exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Which one, Amy or Lily?” Remus inquired, knowing it would only further James’ anger.

“Both! Who do they think they are! I mean seriously, what’ s wrong with me? I’m a great guy. Evans should feel--”

“I got a plan, mate.” Sirius said suddenly.

“What?” Remus sighed, dreading his answer.

“Our first attack, today, here’s what we’ll do…”
Back in the dungeons, Amy and Lily found a table and pulled out their books. They didn’t even notice, James and his friends enter.

“Ah, so many familiar faces,” a stout, short man with a gingery moustache with thick fair hair, in a lush waistcoat with big yellow buttons, said, rubbing his hands together.

“But I don’t know you.” He smiled at Amy.

“Oh, Professor Slughorn, this is Amy March. She’s the new transfer student.” Lily explained, grinning.

“Ah, very good, very good. Welcome to Advanced Potions, I am Horace Slughorn as many of you know! Today we will be making the Confusing & Befuddlement Draught. You will be working in pairs of two, so agreeing and getting along will be one of your challenges. The recipe is on the board and the ingredients are on the shelves. Begin!” He grinned, enthusiastically, before clapping his hands.

“I’ll get them.” Amy told Lily, who setting up the cauldron. Amy walked over to the shelf, reaching for the sneezewort when a rather slimy haired boy, with an extremely large nose, snatched it from her.

“Excuse me?” Amy snapped, with an arched eyebrow.
He didn’t care to notice her outrage, grabbed the other ingredients he needed, and went back to his seat.

“Jerk.” Amy muttered, grabbing the scurvy grass and lovage, and going back to the table.

“That was Severus Snape. He’s a real Potions wiz and has a rather unpleasant demeanor.” Lily explained, starting to cut up the scurvy-grass.

“No, no, no don’t cut it that way. Cut it with the left side, it extracts more of the flower’s pollen, causing more inflammation in the brain.” Amy explained, taking the knife from her. Lily watched her with raised eyebrows. Amy’s cheeks flushed a little, hoping she didn’t offend Lily.
Lily didn’t seem to notice as she began pounding the sneezewort to bits, causing the yellow powdered leaves to go everywhere. Lily sneezed uncontrollably at least four times. Amy once more stepped in.

“Don’t pound, crush them, like this,” Amy demonstrated, moving the stone back and forth.
Lily gave her the same look except this time, there was a hint of envy behind those brilliant green eyes. Amy cleared her throat and finished cutting the scurvy-grass. They continued working in an awkward silence, until they finished preparing their separate ingredients. Both reached for the lovage, but Lily pulled her hand back.

“Oh, no, you go for it. I’ll probably do it wrong.” Lily said, in a bitter tone.
Amy was positive; she had just ruined the foundation of what could have been a great friendship. She sighed and continued dicing the lovage into short, separate columns. Slughorn began waltzing through the tables, and stopped at theirs.

“Very nice, so far.” He nodded, before going to the next table.
Amy bit down on her lip before speaking to Lily.
“We have to add the scurvy-grass first, three flowers should be fine. You can put them in if you want.” Amy said, in a tone quite defeated.
Lily snatched the flowers and sprinkled them into the potion, still obviously angry. Amy let Lily add the lovage, while she put in the sneezewort. The potion turned a deep purple and Lily’s posture stiffened even more, at the fact that Amy’s way made the potion perfect. Her bitterness grew once Slughorn saw the potion.

“Oh, this is brilliant ladies! Full marks, indeed!” He exclaimed.
Amy looked around the room, to avoid Lily’s glare, and the boy she had pointed out, Severus Snape was glaring at Amy, as well. God, people in the country are so touchy! Amy thought, miserably. She just wanted to crawl into a hole. Her stormy blue eyes kept scanning the room, and she noticed Sirius and his friends. James, Sirius, and Peter tried to act like she didn’t exist, while Remus actually looked interested in the fact she made an excellent potion. How he was friends with them, she would never know. Slughorn sang their praises for a few more minutes, and the class was over. Amy quickly grabbed her things and rushed out of the dungeons as quick as she could.

One way or another, I'm gonna find ya.
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.

“Okay, now.” Sirius said, grinning.
James lifted his wand, pointing it at Amy’s back, specifically her hair.
Commutationis crinis.” He smiled, waving his wand proudly.

Remus just watched, shaking his head. Peter clapped approvingly.
Lily looked at them suspiciously, before waltzing past them to Muggle Studies.
Amy had just taken her seat when she saw Lily waltz in. Oh, great. We have the same schedule. She reminded herself as Lily sat behind her.

“Um…Amy.” Lily began.

Amy turned around at her.

“What? So I’m good at potions! Big deal! So someone can beat you at one subject, call The National Inquirer!You seriously need to get over yourself. I can’t believe you were such a fair-weathered friend.” Amy exclaimed, exasperated.
Lily looked down, knowing what she had said was true.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m used to being the best and I know that’s rotten to say. I’m sorry, I still want to be your friend..” Lily apologized.
Amy just looked at Lily. She did look awfully sorry. Her green eyes were downcast and the fire behind them had burnt out.

“It’s okay, I guess. We’re still friends.” Amy smiled.
She let out at inward sigh of relief when Lily returned it.

That’s when the charm began to work.
“Uh, Amy.” Lily said, in an uneven tone.

“What?” Amy asked, confused.

“Y-Your hair it’s green! Now it’s purple!”Lily screamed.

Amy gaped at her for a second, before fishing in her bag and pulling out her compact. Lily was right; Amy’s hair was changing different hues by the second. At the moment, it was a bright pinkish color.
Extreme anger was coursing through Amy’s veins. Those boys were gonna pay! She looked at Lily, whose hand was covering her open mouth. Amy spent the whole period racking her brain for payback.
Once class was over, Lily and Amy were walking to Arithmancy, when Amy spotted James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus by the lake. Remus was going over his notes, while Sirius and James were chatting up some pretty, wide eyed girls. Peter was admiring them, sitting next to Remus. Perfect Amy grinned.

“What are you gonna do?” Lily asked, placing her hand on Amy’s shoulder.

“Oh, you’ll see.” Amy grinned wickedly.

One way or another, I'm gonna win ya.
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.

Amy confidently sauntered up to them, clearing her throat, making her presence known. The second they saw her, James, Sirius, and Peter burst out laughing. The pretty girls’ mouths were wide and giggled.
Amy smiled at them and looked down, nodding.

“Pretty funny, huh?” Amy asked.

“Yes, it is!” Sirius managed to get out.

“Yeah, so is this,” Amy spat, waving her wand,” Braca deorsum!”

Suddenly, the boys’ pants were wrapped around their ankles, showing off their very interesting underwear to the crowd that had gathered, especially to the girls who fancied them.
Amy winked at them before walking back to Lily.

“That was amazing!” Lily laughed.

“I do try.” Amy grinned once more.

“Here, I think I know how to fix your hair.” Lily said once they were at a safe distance. Lily waved her wand, muttering something.
It worked, Amy pulled out her compact once more and her hair returned to its normal dark brown color.

That was the beginning of the prank war. The next attack was on a Monday morning when Amy was eating breakfast in the Great Hall with Lily.

“She’s gotta pay.” James threatened.

“Oh, she will.” Sirius reassured his friend.

I'm gonna meetcha, meetcha, meetcha, meetcha.
One day, maybe next week, I'm gonna meetcha.
I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha.

Calliblepharum evanesce!” Sirius barked as Amy was walking out of the Great Hall.

James grinned at him, when he heard Lily’s scream.

“Your eyebrows! They’re gone!” Lily screamed.

Amy’s whole body shook with anger. She waited for them to leave the
Great Hall. She tailed them like a cop, at a safe distance. Once they were in front of an adequately sized crowd, Amy called down at them in the hallway.

“I must say I should have expected this!”
Sirius’ lips formed a large smile.

“You thought we forgot about that little incident by the lake?” Sirius called back to her.
Amy smiled at him.

“Oh, no I didn’t forget.” She replied, coyly.

One way or another, I'm gonna win ya.
I'll getcha, I'll getcha.

Rosacea vestimentum!" Amy shouted, wand pointed in their direction.
Seconds later, the boys’ robes were a pretty pink color.

“Not very manly but Sirius, you look so pretty in pink.” Amy smiled, before turning around and disappearing in the crowd that had gathered half of them admirers of Sirius and his friends, the other half waiting to see Amy get back at them since someone was finally standing up to the infamous quartet.

Two weeks later Sirius and James planned their counterattack. Late at night in the Gryffindor Common Room with many different pieces of parchment surrounded them with little comic book like drawings of their ideas scrawled on the yellow paper.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do in the Owlery I’ll set it up this time unless you want to.” Sirius began, his features hardened in thought.

“No, no. It’s okay this one can all be on you, what do you think, Remus?” James asked acknowledging their friend who had heard their ruckus and decided to check it out.

“No! This is ridiculous! You already got back at each other enough! This should just end! Could you for once be the mature human being and end all this?” Remus begged but in a rather furious tone.

“Of course not,” Sirius yelled getting to his feet,” she humiliated us! This is what she deserves!”

Remus shook his head and went back to bed. It wasn’t even worth trying to convince them, they were too far gone.
Remus waited until Amy walked out of Arithmancy, a class they shared, to warn her.

“Amy, can I talk to you?” He asked, in a serious tone.

“You realize, I don’t actually trust you. But you can try if you want to.” Amy replied.

Remus waved his hand, impatiently. It was so weird and out of place because he was sixteen and the gesture was something she expected out of an older man who had grown impatient with a little child. Since they were neither she found it very amusing. Amy put her hand over her mouth, to hide her giggle.

“I know that doesn’t matter. I think you should stop all this before you get hurt. Sirius and James can be quite wicked at times. Just apologize and a couple weeks, maybe in a month this will all blow over.” Remus pleaded.
Amy bit down at on her lip, smiling at him.

“Thank you, I’ll remember not you hurt you in the next one. But there’s no way in hell you can stop me, but I’m honored that you tried.” Amy laughed, walking past him.
Remus simply shook his head; she was something else that far from normal. Amy was walking to the Owlery, a letter to her mother in hand, when James and Sirius spotted her.

“Okay, behind the pillar!” Sirius whispered.

“Are you sure this is gonna work?” James asked, impatiently.

“Of course, I set everything up.” Sirius replied, annoyed.

One way or another, I'm gonna find ya.
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.
One way or another, I'm gonna win ya.
I'll getcha, I'll getcha.

The second Amy stepped in the straw covered room; she was attacked by dozens of owls. James and Sirius grinned at each other as Amy screamed. The birds swooped down at her, pecking and tearing at her robes and arms. Tattered and bruised Amy managed to escape the Owlery, to see Sirius and James grinning at her.

“Just wait.” She spat, glaring at them.
“Just you wait.” She threatened, walking away.

Lily was horrified, once she saw Amy. After taking her to the Hospital Wing, Lily helped Amy with her next prank. The girls sat in the dusty, stuffy library with many pieces of yellowing, crumpled parchment lied out on the tables before them. Scribbles, scratches, all sorts of marks decorated the papers it seemed that they were having a little trouble deciding on the pranks.

“No, Amy! I really think you should do this one.” Lily argued, ruffling her fiery red hair with her fingers.
Amy was in the process of banging her head into the table, much like she did at home. Stopping her act of immaturity, Amy looked at Lily, her body ached from all this, her very bones were screaming. The usual brilliant hue of her eyes were dull, a stale faint blue.

“I don’t think it’s good enough,” Amy began, slowly in a hoarse, dry voice,” don’t give me that look. I don’t question your intelligence, just your skills in deviance.”
Lily gaped at her, green eyes wide and her mouth slightly open, as if to say “Who are you, questioning me?”

“Fine, you can plan this yourself, forgive me for trying--”
A light bulb flickered on in Amy’s weary brain, she had a glorious epiphany and it brought her instantly to her feet, leaving Lily’s angry sentence hanging in the air.

“Shut up, Lily! I have it! I have it!” Amy squealed, restraining herself from jumping up and down.
Lily stared at the girl before her questioning her sanity, but nodding so that she would continue.

“Here’s what we’ll do…” Amy began.

One way or another I'm gonna lose ya.
I'm gonna give you the slip.
A slip of the lip, or another, I'm gonna lose ya.

Sneaking down to the kitchens, they stole some of the dinner sprinkling in a special ingredient. As they were preparing their wicked attack, Amy told Lily about her conversation with Remus.

“Oh, really? Well, I would expect it. He’s the only decent one. That was very sweet though, I must say.” Lily replied, in a surprised tone.

“I still don’t get how he’s friends with them.” Amy said, with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, I know.” Lily laughed, agreeing with her. She smiled as they brought the food upstairs and placing it in Sirius and James’ normal spot. Soon the students had filed into the Great Hall.

“I love you, laxatives.” Amy said, kissing the box, before walking to her and Lily’s seats.
Amy and Lily were in the middle of their meal, as they saw the boys rush to the bathrooms, pushing each other out of the way.
They exchanged wicked grins. The very next day (her prank was too horrible to ignore for a week), Sirius and James quickly came up with a plan. Since Amy had many classes, she had many books. As she was climbing up one of the many high staircases, James and Sirius appeared around a corner.

I'm gonna trick ya, I'll trick ya.
One way or another I'm gonna lose ya.
I'm gonna trick ya, trick ya, trick ya, trick ya.

Divexatus sacci ! James whispered, waving his wand.
Suddenly, Amy’s bag split in two sending her papers everywhere.
But this time, they didn’t get the reaction they wanted. She just burst out laughing.

“Oh, c’mon! That was so easy! Have you guys been under so much stress from last night, you couldn’t come up with a decent comeback?” Amy laughed.

“I told you it was stupid!” Sirius said, pushing James into the nearest wall.

“Shut up!” James said, pushing Sirius back.

One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya.
I'm gonna give you the slip.

Subsequently, Amy and Lily ended up rigging their table, the Muggle way, loosening the screws to make it tilt. When James and Sirius sat down, their food was splattered all over their robes.

“Since they were a little soft, I went easy on them.” Amy explained, to Lily.
The final prank started three weeks before Halloween and this one actually wounded Amy and Lily, quite a bit. Sirius of course came up with the idea and executed it.

One way or another, I'm gonna getcha.
I'll getcha.
I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha.

In the Great Hall, he sauntered up to the biggest gossip queen at Hogwarts, Regina McAdams.

“Oh, hello, Sirius.” She smiled, innocently, tossing her straight blonde hair over her shoulder.

“I have some interesting news for you…about the new girl…Amy March.” Sirius said, slowly.
The gossip queen’s eyes pale blue eyes went wide at the hint of a new rumour to spread. Sirius smiled as her features tensed in anticipation.

“The reason, that she seems to cling on, oh-so desperately to Lily Evans, is because…,” Sirius leaned in closer to her, as she pressed her cupped ear to his lips,” she’s a lesbian!

The blonde beauty’s mouth fell open, wickedly.
“No way!”
“Yes, way, I saw her in Chicago at the conference, with her “partner”.” Sirius told her, his smile getting wider by the second.

Regina placed her hand on Sirius’ shoulder and earnestly said,
“Thank you so much, for coming and telling me this. No one wants a lesbian in the girls’ dormitory. I mean there are girls in their nightgowns and you’re no stranger to the length of some of those nightgowns.”
She looked at him, smiling.

“You’re a doll, Regina. Why didn’t we ever go out?” Sirius asked, with a sensual tone.

Regina gave an absurd, artificial laugh, and waved her hand gracefully through the air, before placing it on his shoulder once more.
“C’mon, Sirius, we both know, I’m completely out of your league. You may go now.” She finished, before turning back to her group of chattery girls.

Sirius shook his head as he walked away.

“So did it work?” James asked, eagerly as Sirius sat back down at the table.

“Within in the next three hours everyone will know Amy’s dirty little secret.” Sirius replied, confidently.

“A secret that’s a complete lie!” Remus argued.

“No, we don’t know that for sure.” Sirius said, casually.
Remus once again rolled his eyes.

At lunch, while Amy and Lily were discussing their homework so far by the lake, Amy noticed a girl she didn’t recognize walking towards them, more like gliding.

“Oh, no.” Lily sighed.

“What?” Amy asked suddenly, eyes still locked on the blonde figure floating towards them.

“That’s Regina McAdams, she’s the gossip queen of Hogwarts and she never comes to talk to you, unless she’s got some juicy new rumour on you.” Lily explained, warily.

Amy drew in a quick breath as the supposed gossip queen stopped right in front of them. She was like a perfect Barbie doll, long, blonde shiny hair, that fell like a sheet on her back, beautifully artificial features, and two perfect pink lips well suited for spreading gossip. There were two girls by her side, on her left and one on her right. A tiny brunette was on her right and a taller blonde on her left. Amy recognized the blonde as the girl Sirius had approved of, on her first day, something Boswell. Both were extremely pretty but neither could match the beauty of their Queen Bee, who at the moment gave Lily a faint smile.

“As one of the most popular girls in the sixth year, I thought I should be the one to confront you with this interesting piece of news I heard this morning. It’s Annie, right?” Regina began, her voice floating softly out of those perfect lips.

“Amy.” Amy corrected, bitterly.

“Whatever. The point is, we don’t need a lesbian at Hogwarts. It makes many of the girls very uncomfortable and this may come off as bitchy but I’m just protecting these girls’ interests.” Regina explained, topping it all off with a quick artificial laugh.

“Who told you that?” Amy asked, trying to conceal the anger rising in her voice.

“Like I’m going to tell you that.” Regina laughed once more, tossing her hair over as she glided away.

“Sirius Black, I bet my life on it.” Lily snapped.

“Well, he hit me where it hurts, I’m gonna hit him.” Amy resolved.

“Metaphorically speaking.” Lily added.

“Oh, totally, I ain’t even touching those.” Amy laughed.

Amy made her confrontation at dinner.

“Sirius, what the hell was that?” Amy spat.
A smug smile formed on his lips as he looked up at her.

“Did you like it?” He asked, with an arched brow.

“Screw you!” Amy yelled, angry. She was past the point of no return, no sarcasm, no jokes, no witty comebacks, he was gonna pay.
The volume of her voice attracted a crowd, that gathered around her and Sirius. James and Peter watched, grinning at each other; Remus slowly looked up with a disapproving look on his face.

One way or another, I'm gonna find ya.
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.

Chalazosis!” She screamed at him, wand pointed directly at his face. Soon, it was covered in dozens of disgusting little red pimples. Girls shield their faces, some even wept, at the loss of Sirius’ beauty. She had gotten his vanity.

“Try that on for a week.” Amy spat, walking away.
This was the only prank the teachers knew of and had seen. Subsequently, Amy got a week of detentions and after she explained what Sirius and James did, they received a week as well.
The prank war was finally over on the last week of October...or was it?

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