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This fan-fic is carrying on from the scene Harry witnesses in the OOTP.

Disclaimer – The title is taken from the lyrics of ‘Miscommunication’ by Delta Goodrem. I do not own any other characters in this chapter – they are JKs.



“Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?”…

It took all of Lily’s might not to turn around and march straight back up to James Potter and curse him into oblivion. He really was the most arrogant toe rag in the world! He seemed to believe that he was the best thing since chocolate frogs and you know what the worst part was? 95% of Hogwarts students thought he was too.

Lily had no idea why this was the case. Well… she did… but she didn’t think they were valid reasons.

James Potter was handsome, confident and bright. He was also filthy rich and an excellent Quidditch player. He’d had numerous girlfriends, some even being so ridiculous as to go as far as saying that they wanted to marry him.

Lily pitied the poor girl who ended up marrying that conceited git.

Lily had always despised James Potter, since the first day they had arrived at Hogwarts. As soon as they’d met, he’d teased her mercilessly about not knowing one end of a broomstick from the other and for not understanding a lot of the wizarding-lingo himself and many of the other pure and half-blood wizards and witches used.

But the teasing wasn’t the worst part.

 A few years ago, Lily had noticed that James had started acting differently towards her. He had tried (tried being the operative word here) to act maturely round her and even offered to help her with her work (something that caused Lily to laugh at no end – James Potter NEVER did his homework EVER). She finally realised that this change in attitude had come around because he had taken a fancy to her.

 Far from being thrilled, Lily was furious! She did not want to be another cast-off in a long line of girls that had dated the ‘awesome’ James Potter. So as soon as she cottoned onto this rather unenviable fact she avoided James Potter like the plague. Unfortunately, like any plague, James Potter would not give up easily and Lily was forced to put up with almost daily requests of, “Evans, go out with me!” or “I really fancy you. Will you go out with me?”

Lily, of course, turned him down every time without fail but this did not seem to deter Potter in the slightest. On the contrary, her negative responses seemed to make him even more determined, which caused Lily to think that he no longer genuinely liked her (that is, if he had ever genuinely liked her in the first place) but now regarded her as an ongoing task, one which could only end in victory and she was the prize.

But, Lily knew quite certainly, James Potter would one day have to admit defeat, for she would NEVER accept his offer to make her his girlfriend.

If she ever did, Lily would know that the world had gone quite spectacularly mad…


1 year and 6 months later



Lily Evans crashed into the wall of the Room of Requirement. Bouncing off it she landed face down on the floor but no sooner had let out a muffled “Oh!” she rolled onto her back and sprang back to her feet, spinning around just in time to see another hex coming towards her. She ducked it and, aiming her wand at the boy in front of her, screamed “Furnunculus!”

She heard a yell as the boy felt the ugly boils spring up all over his face and knew the spell had hit its mark. She couldn’t resist a satisfied smirk. Whilst he was caught off guard she sent a stream of spells towards him and had to laugh at what he looked like: he had tentacles all over his body as well as the boils on his face, steam coming out of his ears and he was foaming at the mouth.

But in her smugness she had let down her guard too and she suddenly found herself being pulled irresistibly towards her enemy, her wand hanging limply at her side.

The boy caught her roughly in his arms, twisting her arm painfully behind her back as he turned her away from him. She felt the tip of his wand at her throat.

“Give in Evans?” James Potter whispered softly in her ear, pressing the wand harder into her neck, his silky breath tickling her ear.

“Never,” she growled and in one swift movement she thrust her head back, smashing it into his scull, twisted her arm out of his slackened grip and performed a round-house kick that caught him heavily on the side of the head.

James stumbled back, nose bleeding, dazed by the multiple blows he had received.

Whilst he was still reeling from the attack, Lily bent down and in a quick sweeping motion, knocked out James’ feet from beneath him. He landed on his back and gasped as all the wind was knocked out of him. Lily straightened up and hastened to straddle him, pinning his arms and legs against the floor.

Expelliarmus!” she cried and James felt his wand fly out of his hand and clatter to a stop somewhere out of his reach.

“Do you give in?” she asked James, breathing heavily. James coughed and spluttered as the blood from his nose formed a pool in his mouth.

“Yes!” croaked James. “I give up!”

They were suddenly bathed in flood-lights. Lily looked round to see a beaming Professor Dumbledore coming towards them. Realising she was on top of James she quickly stood up and stepped to the side of him. James, meanwhile, remained on the floor, still trying to recover from the thrashing he had just received. Lily suspected it wasn’t just his body that had been bruised – being beaten by a girl must have dealt a huge blow to his elephant-size ego.

Flushed with her success, Lily grinned as Dumbledore stopped in front of them.

“Well done!” he exclaimed joyously, “You both did VERY well. Miss Evans, excellent memory of the Muggle defence tricks I taught you! And Mr Potter…” He looked down at James who was still trying to catch his breath. Dumbledore laughed and offered him his hand, which James took and he pulled him to his feet.

As James regained his balance and composure, Dumbledore continued, “… brilliant use of the ‘Mirage Charm’. Miss Evans was obviously fooled by it!”

Lily blushed as she realised that none of the spells she had cast after ‘Furnunculus’ and before ‘Expelliarmus’ had even hit James. It was a good job she had remembered the moves Dumbledore had taught her, otherwise she would have been defeated by James Potter – the consequences didn’t bear thinking about!

Dumbledore had not finished however, “Unfortunately you both got too confident – Miss Evans when you thought Mr Potter was being inundated with spells and could not retaliate and Mr Potter when you had Miss Evans caught in your arms and believed she had run out of options. Both of you were wrong and had it been a real duel it could have cost both of you your lives! You must never lose your edge in a fight, no matter if it seems as though you have the upper hand. As you both saw tonight, circumstances can change in an instance. He who believes he is the winner when the battle is not yet through loses the war. Do you both understand what I’m saying?”

Lily and James nodded, although James seemed to regret it instantly, letting out a little yelp as a split in his lip that Lily had not noticed before reopened. Dumbledore, seeing this, said, “Ah! Yes, wounds! Well Mr Potter, I think you’ll be needing a patch up and nights rest in the hospital wing. Miss Evans, could you escort him there?”

“Of course, Sir,” Lily answered immediately, gently linking her arm through James’ as he partially limped towards the door.

Dumbledore watched them go with a most curious expression on his face. He had seen the look of longing on James’ face when he had held Lily so tightly against him.

But all James received from Lily was contempt – contempt, Dumbledore mused, that wasn’t entirely unfounded.

But James had grown up in the last year or so and Dumbledore had taken the rather unadvisable step of putting the two of them together as Head Boy and Girl.

Dumbledore believed that, with a little tweaking of the circumstances, Lily Evans and James Potter would make a rather commendable couple.

The problem would be getting Lily to come round to that way of thinking.

 James was very obviously in love with her but Dumbledore knew that Lily certainly wasn’t (or at least didn’t realise she was) in love with him. Dumbledore knew for a fact that at this very moment a huge row was taking place between them just a few hundred metres from this very room.

How did he know this?

Why, they had forgotten to close the door behind them…

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