And that was how, four hours and many tiresome questions later, I ended up sitting next to James Potter, opposite Sirius Black, being questioned, for what felt like the umpteenth time, whether I was going out with James.
And it was by Sirius Black, right hand man to the head Marauder himself. And he’d been the only one asking the question. The ONE question.
Because he is the biggest prat know to man.
‘So remind me, Evans, are you or are you not going out with James?’ Sirius asked, leaning toward me. I felt James starting to shake next to me. I glanced at him sourly, realizing he was laughing.
‘You know bloody well what the answer is, Black, DO NOT MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN!’ As it was half way through the Sorting, I couldn’t be too loud.
‘Ok, Lily, ok... so you are?’
I growled. It was strangely empowering.
‘Come on, Sirius,’ Remus said, ‘leave her alone.’
I smiled warmly at him, appreciating the gesture. It was nice of him to defend me against the onslaught of Black’s stupidity (though, I think he was try to wind me up personally... no one is that stupid).
‘What about Remus? Are you going out with him?’ Sirius asked, hitting Lupin on the back, so hard that Remus choked on his steak.
I sighed. ‘Don’t you know anything?’ I asked lightly. I smiled at Remus who looked at me warily. I indicated Sirius to lean forward. ‘Remus likes Ella!’
James snickered beside me and Remus turned bright red, glaring at me, knowing Sirius well enough to know would happened next. I mean, I barely knew Sirius, yet I knew he liked Marissa and that next would come –
I grinned as Sirius bombarded Lupin with questions (‘Jesus, Moony, when the hell did this happen!? You sly devil, you!’).
He really was one of the most transparent people I had ever met.
Two hours later it came to the time I was dreading. Sleeping in the same room as Marissa. And Ella. And Jessica Falcon and Harriet Gump. All of whom (besides Ella... kinda) I hated with a passion.
But then, I had a plan. And at that moment, playing wizards chess with Remus, I couldn’t even be depressed. Because, surprisingly, I was having a good time.
I know. Shocking.
‘Checkmate!’ Remus said happily, as we watched my King lower his miniature stone crown.
I groaned, smiling, as girls tittered away around me and about me. I was used to this when I was popular (oh, those were the days! ...Not.) but now the talk was not ‘Oh my God! Lily Evans, like, just hexed James Potter for calling her pretty! I idolize her!’; it was more of an ‘Oh my God, Lily Evans is, like, best friends with James Potter now. Merlin, how desperate! What a loser!’
I truly did not know what was worse.
‘So Lily, where are you sleeping?’ James asked, stretching and yawning.
I looked up at him, confused. How did he know?
‘Um, I was going to sleep down in the Heads Meeting Room, I didn’t really want to sleep upstairs, you know, because, you know, Marissa – ’
‘You can sleep in our dorm,’ James stated. ‘I’m sure Frank won’t mind.’ Frank Longbottom was the fifth Seventh Year Gryffindor. Currently, he was sitting in front of the fire, his Sixth Year girlfriend, Alice I-forget-her-last-name, cuddled into his chest.
It was quite cute.
After a few seconds of mental ‘Nawww!’ing, I glanced back at James, who was looking at me expectantly.
‘James, you know I can't stay in your room! Imagine what people - ’
‘No one will even see you go in.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘And how on earth will you do that, James?’ I laughed. ‘Don’t even try to tell me you have some sort of cloaking device because to have one you would need a Invisibility Cloak and they are so rare and - ’
‘Lily. Trust me.’
I pouted. ‘Fine. Let’s ignore the fact I don’t have a chance of getting in. Where will I sleep?’
‘Well, I can sleep on the floor and you can sleep in my bed.’ He looked positively ecstatic at the proposition.
I felt my stomach flutter at the very thought of sleeping in James’s bed.
I was such a hypocrite.
And so in love.
I sighed. ‘Fine.’
‘Good. Now, just a second,’ and he took off up the stairs.
I felt Sirius move up behind me. ‘You two are so going out.’
This was enough. So I elbowed him in the stomach.
Oh, violence was good.
He backed off clutching his stomach. He glared at me as I smiled. ‘So,’ I said, changing the topic as he straightened and took a seat opposite me, ‘when are you going to make a move on Marissa?’
He shifted awkwardly in his seat. ‘Well, I was thinking of backing off. She was really cruel to you. And,’ he smiled, ‘contrary to what you probably think, I like you.’
I raised an eyebrow, purposely taking it the wrong way. ‘James is gonna kill you.’
He looked at me in mock anger. ‘Gee, Evans, great way to spoil the mood. You know I didn’t mean it that way.’
I laughed. ‘But seriously, that’s just the way Marissa does things. You should ask her out. I think she likes you.’
He regarded me critically. ‘She treated you like dirt and you’re worried about her happiness. You, Lily, let people walk all over you. More than you think.’
I frowned at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You shouldn’t let her treat you like that,’ Remus chipped in, having listened to the whole conversation. ‘You don’t deserve it.’
I continued to frown as James came running down the stairs, a bundle of fabric in his hands. But the confusion disappeared as he gave me the bundle and I realized what exactly I was holding.
‘Oh my God, this is a In - !’ I broke off into muffled grunting as James clamped his hand over my mouth. I bit his finger as he prolonged the silencing a tad too long for comfort.
‘James, where on earth did you get this?!’
‘Family heirloom, now shhh! We don’t want the whole world knowing our secret do we, Evans?’
I glared at him; stupid prat, getting sassy with me.
Even if I was apparently a push-over.
‘Now, go up to your dorm and get you stuff. I am pretty sure I saw Marissa leave a few minutes ago with that Sixth Year. Um... what was his name? His brother was in his seventh year when we were in Third. Fred Johnson or - ’
I cut him off mid rant, seeing Sirius’s eyes darken at the thought of Marissa with another guy. ‘Doesn’t matter, James. Go on?’
‘Oh yeah, so, then we’ll meet you in our dorm. Then in the morning, you can get up early and go to your dorm. And then everyone wins.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Fine; see you then.’
And that was how I ended up in James Potter’s bed, secretly enjoying the scent of his sheets.
Weird much? Yes. Perverted much? For sure.
Stupid masculine smell. It smelt uniquely of James. Sweat mixed with deodorant and cologne.
Disgusting? Well it should have been. But no. I was in love.
Stupid brain. What the hell was I thinking when I fell in love with James Potter?
OH YEAH. I WASN’T.
Stupid, stupid feelings.
I snuggled closer to his pillow, feeling disgusted with myself.
What happened to the old me? The one that would have shunned any offer of Potter’s to sleep in his bed. In a way, I missed that girl. The one that would have happily punched James in his nose for even suggesting that I go near his bed.
I wanted to be her again. Then I wouldn’t feel so terrible. Torn.
I wanted so badly to go out with out with him. So badly. It was almost a need. Be then, the other part of me, the significantly smaller part of me, wanted to just hid my feelings, to see him grow up with another woman, have kids with someone else, to marry someone else.
And it was that part of me that was ruling my brain.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I softly sobbed.
A voice cut through my misery as I registered the voice. James.
I heard the rustle of sheets – the sound of James getting up. I felt his hand rest on my waist as he spoke over my ear.
‘Are you ok?’ he whispered, his hot breath sending shivers down my cheek. I sobbed softly.
‘The whole school hates me James,’ I said, quickly thinking of something else. ‘I’m not used to being hated.’
I felt James pull up my covers as his body slipped next to mine. His arms wrapped around me as my breath caught in my throat.
I was in trouble.
It was taking all my self-control, not to jump him right there and then.
‘They’ll get over it,’ he said into my ear. ‘Please don’t cry.’
If only he knew what he was doing to me inside. But no.
He was oblivious.
I took his hands in mine and pulled them tighter around me, feeling my problems slip away.
And with his arms wrapped around me, we both fell asleep.
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