Search Home Read Write Forum Login Register
Chapter 6:
Tears

The next morning, I woke up and headed down to the common room, still in my pajamas. I was wearing a light blue tank and soft white pajama pants with a baby blue moons and baby yellow stars in a cloud with my hair pulled back in a lazy bun. I was completely off guard as someone came down the steps. I didn’t even glance up, but I felt someone come up behind me and put their arms around me. Someone whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I instantly knew whom the voice belonged to. I had known for a while, but really, wasn’t sure if I could do anything about it. “I- I-“ was all I could manage to get out.

James came around and sat next to me, smiling. “You don’t know what it has been like for me.” He finally said. “I have missed you so much.”

My face grew hot and it wasn’t long before I could feel the tears running down my cheeks. It had been almost a year and a half since I had talked to him. It was now January of our fourth year! He couldn’t possibly think that we could pick up where we left off, could he? I turned and cried into his chest. I was weakening.

Besides, he was a different person! He wasn’t the same James that I met on the beach! This James liked to pull pranks! This James liked to mess around! This James wasn’t as mature as the James I had met before. I got up and went back to my dorm, leaving the new James by the fire, confused.

Niki was just waking up and she saw me come in. “Is everything all right?” she asked caringly.

I walked over and sat on her bed. “He’s back.” I cried into her shoulder. She was probably confused, so I continued. “James! He has changed! He is different!”

Niki was rubbing my back going, “sshhhhhhhhhh… sshhhhhh…” eventually, I stopped crying. “Hey, are you going to be ok?” she asked, concerned. I nodded. “Besides, I thought that you really liked him?”

I smiled. “I thought that I did.” I finally said. “But now I see him in his element.” Niki laughed. I giggled to and hit her with her pillow. “Hey, let’s go down to breakfast. I’m starving!” When you don’t eat much for dinner, you get hungry by the time breakfast rolls around.

Obviously, after I disappeared, James went back up to his dorm and told the rest of the marauders what had happened because during breakfast, Remus came up to me and whispered, “What happened?”

I glared at him. The first thing that came to my mind was, “He changed.” Remus gave me a look that said, ‘no, really?’ “Hey, he is absolutely nothing like the James I saw at the beach. Now his is just an inconsiderate jerk that plays pranks on everyone yet somehow manages to get every girl to hang off of his arm! I am not going to be one of those girls, Remus! I’m not!” I got up and stormed away, completely forgetting my waffle. Niki came after me to see if I was all right. I didn’t say anything until we got back to our tower. There, I broke down sobbing into her shoulder. “I h-have to much t-t-to worry about. Sc-chool, exams, and now him! Trying t-t-to find the James that I met.”

That whole week, I couldn’t keep myself together. If it wasn’t for Niki, I don’t know what I would have done. Remus didn’t help much. Since him and James were now buddy-buddy, he would defend him. Git.

James didn’t leave me alone after that. “Lily, just talk to me!” he would plead.

Occasionally, I would snap, “You’re not the James I knew!” and turn away. I only did it twice though, not really caring if he knew what I meant or not. By the end of February, he finally left me alone. He went back to his many girls surrounding him and his prank pulling. Usually, people mature as they get older, but not him. Not James. He was an odd one.

With exams only two months away, people started to crowd my sanctuary; the library of course. I would sigh. ‘Why weren’t they studying three months ago? They knew that exams were coming!’ When I asked Niki, she simply answered, “Yes, but some don’t prepare like you do.” This was true, so I nodded. The other truth was that it also took my mind off of James.

The exams came and the exams went. I thought that they were relatively easy, but I don’t know what Niki thought. She said that she was pretty sure that she bombed it. I couldn’t understand why though. After all, I did kind of force her to study with me from the beginning. I thought that she would have done quite will. If any were bad, I would probably guess potions. Professor Slughorn really didn’t like her too much, yet he had a weird thing called the Slug-Club that I was practically forced to be a member of. Niki really didn’t like the subject either. She found it boring. She preferred charms and transfiguration; the stuff with wands.

As exams neared, I could also see a difference in James. Slight, but still there. He was becoming more conservative when planning a prank. I almost never saw him do it the closer exams came. He still had half of the girls in the school crammed on his two arms though. Whenever he would pass in the halls with them hanging off of him, I would roll my eyes. What was so weird was that he didn’t look so happy. He would put on a façade, but never anything truly genuine. I felt kind of sorry for him, but would usually shrug it off a moment later.

During our week off, I spent most of my time in my bed looking out the window, thinking. As if I didn’t do enough of it already. Thinking about school. Thinking about life. Thinking about love. One day in particular was really, um, to say the least, odd and awkward.

I was walking down the hall, coming from the library. When I turned the corner, I saw a greasy head coming my way. Oh god. It was Snape. There was no way to escape. I sighed, hoping that he would just pass me. My hopes were shattered when he stood in front of me and said, “Hey Lily.” I rolled my eyes up so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “Studying is done. Now everyone can relax. How about you relax in my arms?” I could have sworn that I puked a little.

“Yeah, right!” I snapped. “Do you really think that I would go out with you?” I even laughed a little at the thought.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like you have a boyfriend or anything. I thought that you and that Remus fellow broke it off a long time ago.”

I had to get out of that fast. “We made up.” I said with the straightest, most serious face that I have ever put on. It must have worked because he finally walked away. Something I had not noticed before was that as I said these words, none other than James Potter walked down the hall, looking just as sad, and angry as ever. I hadn’t seen him until he was about half way down the hall at a sprint. “Oh god.” I muttered as I leaned up against the wall and sunk down. I felt horrible.

I slowly made my way to the common room, dreading what I would find. Thankfully, it was only Niki there. “Hey! Where have you been?” she got up and asked as soon as I walked through the portrait whole.

“Library.” I mumbled. She probably knew what had happened anyway, but the look on her face told otherwise. Instead, it showed that she didn’t and wanted answers. “Ok, but I was coming back from the Library!”

Niki nodded. “Yes, but no one spends three and a half hours in a library after exams!” she shot.

“I know! I know!” I said weakly. “But half of those hours was walking back.” Niki looked at me like she wasn’t convinced. I understood where she was coming from. “hey, I was coming back, right, and I ran into Snape!” it looked like that was enough said, but I went on anyway. “He wanted me to go out with him… again! I had to come up with something, so I said that Remus and I were back together.”

Niki’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t!”

I nodded. “I did! And what was worse is that James was walking down and heard the whole thing!”

Niki smiled, closed her eyes, put her head down and shook it. “Lily, Lily, Lily. I thought that you were over him!”

I weakly smiled. “I thought that I was too.” I said softly. “And not only that, he and Remus are friends, and Remus knows that he likes me, so I am afraid for his sake! I mean, what is James going to do to him, you know?”

Niki looked up and put her arms around me. “Girl, you really need to make up your mind.” I let out a little laugh, and she did too.

That night, I had a horrible dream. I was in Snape’s arms, and Remus’s head was flashing by mine saying, “It serves you right.” And James’s face flashed by, and just looked plain old disappointed. I struggled to keep all of these images out of my head, but they kept coming back. Out of the whole night, I think that I only got about three hours of sleep; and we had classes in the morning. Joy.

The next morning at breakfast, Remus confronted me. “What was all of that about?”

I looked up from my toast. “What?”

Remus glared at me. “You know what! You told James that you and I were going out! Now he hates me and wont talk to me!” he let out. “You need to got to him and make things right!”

I glared right back. “NO! Ok, first off, Snape was hitting on me again! I had to say something! James just so happened to be walking by! I am sorry about what happened, but don’t you dare expect me to go and talk to James and hook up with him! I would rather have me and you going around the school than me and either of those two gits!”

Remus was ticked now. “You didn’t say anything to me! I could have helped and warned James ahead of time, but no!”

Remus was starting to get on my nerves. “Hey, do you really think that I had a choice? I couldn’t talk to you because Snape approached me! I couldn’t do anything.” Remus was giving a devious look. “No, going out with Snape is not an option!” I snapped. He sighed. “If you want things to be good between you and James, you fix them. You explain to him that it was all just a misunderstanding, but I am most certainly not going to go and talk to him.” I was cooling off now, and so was he.

The look on Remus’s face almost made me laugh. Then he said, “Do you really think that if I talked to him, that he would believe me?”

I took a bite of my almost forgotten toast and with a clear face, said, “No.” Remus dropped his shoulders. “Hey, he’s your friend. Not mine.” With that, Remus finally left me to eat my now cold toast.

Eventually, James understood what Remus was trying to say. Then James wanted to punch Snape’s teeth out for hitting on me until Remus explained that even if a million years passed by and Snape and I were the only two people on earth, I still wouldn’t go out with him.

The end of the year came and I was so thankful for it. When we all boarded the Hogwarts express, I was so exited to see my family. Well, all except for Petunia that is. This year, we weren’t going on a vacation, but I was still going to go with Niki to Remus’s house for a week and a half. It was tradition and we were still friends. We had a great time, except for the day that the marauders came. Niki and I went shopping to escape that. The summer was great!

A/N: well, yeah, this is where I leave you. Please, leave a review!

Track This Story: Feed


Write a Review

out of 10

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION


Get access to every new feature the moment it comes out.

Register Today!