“James, passing the jam doesn’t mean you have to throw it at me.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose Remus! It slipped! Honest!” James said with a panicked expression as he dabbed at Remus’ robes. All by myself, I sat a few feet away from the four best friends. I wanted to tell them that they could easily use a cleaning charm and fix the mess that James made, but that would mean making myself known. Now, to clarify, I don’t really want to be part of their group. I’m perfectly fine with the way I am going, and adding them to the scene anymore than I already have would probably mess it up. So I stayed quite, keeping in mind that when not on the field, James was a very clumsy person.
“You know, if you had been paying attention instead of ogling Lily Evans, this wouldn’t have happened.” Remus said, swatting away James’ hands and flicking his wand to clean his robes in a much more efficient and quicker way. Such a smart boy, he’s either going to make everything easier or a hell of a lot harder. I’m hoping it’s the former.
James looked sullen from Remus’ comment and turned back to the object of his affection with a growl. “I can’t help it Remus! She’s chatting it up with that seventh year man-whore! Fabian Prewett! You hear me Remus? Fabian-freakin-Prewett! I can’t have my Lily Flower talking to him! He’ll infect her and turn her against me just to get in her pants.” I couldn’t help it. I snorted on my orange juice. I know that if I don’t intervene Lily will most likely end up with Fabian. As much as I can see Fabian ready to rip his pants off, I just can’t see Lily agreeing to it. She seems too proper for it.
Sirius turned to me and quirks an eyebrow. “Something funny?” He asked. I had my hand over my mouth and was desperately trying to suppress my laughter and keep my orange juice in my mouth. Did I mention that while Jamesie was talking he decided to use elaborate hand gestures? Well, he did. It wasn’t even that funny, but I laughed, and Sirius saw, and now they know that I’m spying.
I swallowed my juice and shook my head. “Nothing at all, Sirius dearest. You and your posse can continue with whatever you were talking about because I have no idea on anything about the subject matter.” Smooth Calypso. I gave them a nod goodbye and stood up to leave. Walking down the isle, I heard Peter Pettigrew “whisper” to his friends, “She’s really odd. Didn’t you date her last year, Sirius?”
There it is, my only claim to fame under someone else’s name. That’s the thing about Sirius Black. His name strikes a cord with everyone, whether it be good or bad. He’s a self-made legend. When you associate with him, rumors fly in every direction. I heard they’re dating. No, they’re only friends with extra benefits, right? She’s worse than the school broom! I didn’t let it bother me though. I’d heard them all before with other people and they had never turned out to be true in those cases nor did they last very long. Once everyone got over the initial rush of Sirius dating again, the gossip had to die down.
Just as predicted, it did. As soon as we weren’t dating anymore the gossip was gone, and I had been transformed into a slut for a few months. I guess it had a few benefits. Guys wanted to date me for at least 6 months afterwards. That’s another thing that Sirius did. He spread his fame like a disease. Everyone one of his girlfriends had the same treatment that I did.
My first class of the day didn’t start ten, and it was just a little before eight. So I decided to head down to the library and do some plotting. I didn’t get very far though. Destiny decided to hit me over the head with a little gift that talked too much.
“Calypso! Hey! Calypso Cartamone! Stop walking!” I flinched. My name is so horrific when slung together like that. The alliteration really does kill me a little. I can’t understand why most people like it.
I turn around and face the source of the yelling, which happens to be a Hufflepuff in my year that goes by the name Kaci Morrison. I don’t talk to Kaci much, but she has it in her blonde little head that we are the bestest of buddies, which we definitely are not. My brain can’t take spending too much time with her. You see, Kaci is one of those girls that seem to be all sunshine and butterflies. Like nothing is wrong in the world. I think she’s unrealistic and overlooking the fact that we are obviously escalating into what could be the greatest magical war since Merlin’s time.
I suppose you can stick a pair of horns on me and call me the devil for what I’m going to say next. I use her. She’s a fantastic insider due to the looseness of her belt if you know what I mean, and the kind of girl that Fabian usually goes for. I have high hopes that she will serve the purpose that I have for her.
“Hey Kaci Morrison!” I say in a cheery voice that is clearly not my own. “I haven’t talked to you in ages, darling, how are things?” I walk up to meet her with a smile to match my chipper voice.
Kaci flashed me a smile that shows off all of her pearly white teeth. “I totally know! That’s why I came to talk to you!” She latched onto my arm with excitement. Her shrilly voice is an octave higher than anyone else I’ve heard. I can barely stand it. But I’m on a mission. A mission that concerns every single now at Hogwarts, which includes me.
She looped her arm through mine and began to drag me away from the library. Even though I didn’t really need to go in there now that I had Kaci, I was a little disappointed that I would be loud, obnoxious Kaci rather than with my nice, quiet library.
“Oh, I’m just dandy. I finally broke up with that Lockhart fellow.” Oh really? That makes my job a whole lot easier. “It really is a pity though. He was such a beautiful boy. His smile was to die for.” Yes, you’d make children with huge mouths that would never stop talking or smiling and when they were eventually done speaking, they’d eat us all. “He really had a way with words though, such a poet. If I could remember what their exact rhyme and such, I’d recite one. He was also really good at alliteration. He would speak entire sentences with it. It was amazing!” I’m sure I would have wanted to claw out my eyes. For a second I thought that maybe she was an occlumens and reading my thoughts because she had stopped talking and was now pouting. But she started up again with… “He was a bit egotistical and talked about himself quite a bit. I never got a single word into any conversation. You know how annoying that is? To spend an entire conversation just listening to the other person prattles on about something that you’re not really interested in?” I have a faint idea that I do, dear.
“Well, honey, that is just absolutely horrible! It sure is a good thing you got rid of him.” I gave her a reassuring look.
“I know! I’m so happy to be single again! Isn’t it just the best feeling in the world! I don’t think that I’ll be dating for a while. Boys are stupid.” She giggled a little at her own joke. I was obligated to giggle too because not laughing might offend her. What I really wanted to do was scream ‘BLOODY MURDER!’ at the top of my lungs. She couldn’t just call a quits to dating when she was finally going to be useful! Then I could really giggle at myself at the devious little idea I had.
Who were we talking about again? Kaci Morrison. What was she famous for? Rhymes with putty.
“Are you serious?” She nodded her head eagerly and continued to twitter. I put on my best putout voice, making sure that my face is distressed. “That’s too bad.”
Her giggles dissipated instantly and she looked at me with a curious expression. “It is? Why is that? Do you know something?”
“Well… I’m not supposed to tell anyone. It would really tear our Quidditch team apart…” Her posture straightened up instantly. Now that I told her that it involved a player, she would hang on my every word. Kaci didn’t play Quidditch, but she loved the sport for different reasons. Quidditch players were her biggest boy fetish. Sometimes I think that that’s the only reason she likes to talk to me. I’m the only girl that made it up to James’ Quidditch standards. And, since I had dated Sirius and we had no hard feelings, I wasn’t going to have any distractions during the game.
Anyways, if there had been another girl on the Gryffindor team, she would have probably left me alone. I usually dwell on this fact and wallow in agony, but it’s working to my advantage right now.
"Quidditch? He’s on the Gryffindor team?” I put my hand to my mouth and gasp.
“Oh, gosh! Did I really say that? I can’t believe I let that slip.”
"Cali!" Ew. Gross nickname. "You have to tell me who we’re talking about and what they said! If it involves a Quidditch player you are obligated as my friend to tell me!” She started whining and I think that if I didn't tell her soon she'd throw a hissy fit like a little girl.
"Well, if you guess I wouldn’t actually be telling you something.” I said slyly.
“But that doesn’t tell me what they said!” She whined.
“We’ll get to that later. Live in the present.” Oops. I should avoid momentarily lapsing back into my regular self. Regular me doesn’t actually like Kaci and might offend her by accident.
She huffed, and I felt a swell of power over the situation. But Kaci had anything BUT submitting in mind. She whirled on me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “It’s Sirius Black or James Potter isn’t it? They said something mean about me and you aren’t going to tell me. That’s why you were laughing at breakfast with them. Why else would you have been sitting with them? You always eat alone. Don’t bother lying to me, Cali. I can read you like a book.” Oh yeah, I can’t hide anything from you.
She shook me as she talked, and I swung around like a rag doll. Even though she looked dainty, she had quite a grip and a shake. At least, with me she did, but that was really my fault. My size often threw off everything during fistfights. I was quite petite and for my age, and it was a major handicap. People often mistake me for someone around 12 years old. Being flat chested doens't really help my situation any either. We’d had a conversation similar to this where she accidentally sent me flying into a wall.
“No. Not them. Think older.” I said quickly to keep my brains from scrambling inside my head
“No. Not them. Think older.” I said quickly to keep my brains from scrambling inside my head
Her grip immediately slacked. “Fabian Prewett?” She shook me again and asked louder, “Fabian Prewett was making fun of me?!”
“No! He likes you, but he doesn’t know you all that well. So he wants to get to know you better before he makes any moves.” To my relief, she let go of me completely and started dancing around.
“Oh Cali! Do you have any IDEA how happy this makes me?” Her broad smile was back and claiming her entire face.
“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t tell him I told you. Okay?” She nodded her head ecstatically. She quickly looped her arm through mine again and preceded to drag me to wherever we were going before. Come to think of it, I had no idea where we were going or why we were going there. “Hey, Kaci, where are we going anyways?”
“Oh. Well, for the longest time now I was thinking how nice it would be to give you a makeover. You don’t really need one and can get guys just fine the way you are, but makeovers are what I do best.” She flashed me a smile, obviously thinking that I would be bubbling over with gratitude. Well, I wasn’t. Sure, I had complained about Lily Evans, and said that I would kill for her features… but I can’t put that much effort into anything other than Quidditch really.
Want to chuck the nearest object at my head?
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