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Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own Severus, I don't. I own nothing except my OCs. The rest belongs to the great JK Rowling. I'm not making any money off this fic either.

Chapter 10

Camilla blinked as the sun’s bright rays filtered in through the window of their common room. She took in her surroundings slowly. They were still seated on the floor, Camilla in Severus’ lap, with his arms wrapped around her. She realized they had been there all night. Her muscles were stiff from the awkward position, but it gave her satisfaction to know that Severus would rather spend the night on the floor with her on top of him (possibly suffocating him in the process) than wake her and force her to drag herself all the way upstairs.

She gently maneuvered out of Severus’ grasp, trying desperately not to wake him.


She was quickly able to find Lily in one of the student potion’s labs.

“Hey!” she called cheerfully as she sauntered through the open door.

Lily looked up and smiled. “Hey! I haven’t seen you in awhile,” she replied. She gave sly smile. “Severus keeping you too busy?”

Camilla scowled. “Ha ha.”

“Speaking of Severus, have you seen him lately?”

“Yeah, he’s asleep.”

“That’s weird,” Lily said, “He usually doesn’t sleep late on the weekends.”

Camilla simply shrugged in response. She wasn’t going to tell Lily about the odd sleeping arrangement that had occurred the night before.

“Lily? Have you ever brewed a contraceptive potion?” She blurted the question quickly, getting it out of her mouth as fast as she could.

Lily paused, slowly looking up from the potion she was working on. “No. Why?”

“I dunno I was just…” Camilla trailed off upon seeing the look on Lily’s face.

“I hadn’t realized you and Severus were so close already,” Lily replied, choosing her words carefully.

“Well… we aren’t really. That’s why I need it. You see, I had this idea-.”

Lily held her hands up in the air. “No. I don’t to want to hear it. No more ideas, Camilla. Your ideas always end… well, they end badly.”

Camilla frowned. “They do not! Not all the time at least.”

“You can’t afford to have anything else go wrong when it comes to your relationship with Severus. I mean, he’s told me about some of the things you get up to and I don’t-.”

“What’s he been telling you? A pack of lies, no doubt! You can’t believe everything he says, Lily.”

Lily gave a small smile. “Severus may be a lot of things, but he isn’t a liar.”

Camilla scoffed. “Sure… Listen, will you make it for me or not? Because-.”

“Having… it… will not make you closer, if that’s what you’re thinking, Camilla.”

“It’s called sex, Lily. We’re seventeen and of-age, I think we can all say the word.”

Lily scowled back at her. “I’m just saying that you should be in love before you make that kind of decision.”

Camilla rolled her eyes. “Spare me the lecture, please, and actually think about what you’re saying. You’re suggesting that sometime between now and our wedding night we should be in love. Trust me, I will never love him… just make it for me?”

Sighing, Lily said, “Fine, but only because I don’t want you to have any more problems.”

Camilla smiled. “Thank you and you’ll see. Afterwards, everything will be fantastic. Boys respond very well to physical affection… my mother told me so. I mean, I can pull off the ‘seductive girl’ act for a bit. He’ll trust me and Remus and I will be free to do whatever we please.”

Lily rolled her eyes, but said nothing.


She placed the plate down on the coffee table and took a seat next to Severus, who was still sleeping. She nudged him gently. “Severus… wake up.” He shifted slightly, but didn’t open his eyes. With a little smirk, she kissed him lightly. He pulled away from her and opened his eyes. “Hey,” she said as he gazed at her, somewhat disoriented, “Are you usually this heavy of a sleeper?”

“No,” he replied groggily. “I don’t usually sleep this late either.”

“Maybe you just needed someone to keep you company, hmm?” She paused letting the suggestion hang in the air. His expression changed so subtlety that the untrained eye would have missed it. He was now watching her carefully, his lips forming that small frown he got when he was trying to figure something out. She turned away, hiding her smile, and rearranged the utensils on the plate she had taken from the Great Hall. “I brought breakfast,” she said turning back to him and handing him the plate of food.

He took it from her without saying anything as if he expected it. They sat in silence while he ate, occasionally shooting curious glances at each other.

She wondered if he had noticed the extra affection she had been giving him lately. She wondered a lot about him, for that matter. He never seemed to show very much emotion… unless of course he was angry. It was hard to tell what he thought about anything.

“Severus,” she said, “Why did Lucius give you that deatheater mask?”

He was silent for a moment, the replied tensely, “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Because James thinks you want to be a deatheater.”

“You told Potter?” he snarled angrily, abandoning his fork and letting it crash onto the plate.

“What? No!”

“Then you told Lupin!”

“No! No, listen… just relax.” She placed her hands on his shoulders and began kneading her thumbs into his shoulder blades. “Relax,” she repeated, her words softer this time.

“I am relaxed,” he snapped harshly.

“Your tone says otherwise.”

In the silence that followed, she continued to massage his shoulders until she felt the muscles that had tightened during their conversation begin to loosen. He tilted his head to the left slightly. She smiled at this and granted his silent request by moving her hands up to rub his neck gently.

Seeing that he was in a vulnerable state, she decided to take advantage. She lowered her head to his neck and began to trail light kisses from the back of his ear down to his collarbone. She moved her hands from his shoulders and ran them down his chest. As she drew them back up, she let her left stop over his heart. It was racing. She tilted her head to look at him. “Relax,” she repeated with a small smirk.

He stiffened and pulled away from her. He moved to the opposite side of the coffee table and glared.

“What are you playing at?” he demanded, his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t be silly, Severus,” she replied, stretching out on the sofa, “Games are for children.”

He continued to scowl at her silently.

“So,” she continued in a conversational tone, “I don’t get it. Why the mask? I mean… if you’re not interested in being a deatheater.”

“Who says I’m not?”

Camilla paused. “Surely… surely you don’t want to-.”

“Why does it even matter to you?”

“I’m going to marry you, I should know these things!”

“It’s better that you don’t know. You don’t want to know.”

She stood, placing her hands on her hips. “So you are!” she shouted accusingly. “You are joining the deatheaters!”

“I didn’t say that,” he replied, his voice tight and controlled.

“You don’t have to! I may not be as smart as you, Severus, but I can put two and two together.”

“So you admit I’m more intelligent than you, do you?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t understand,” she continued on, as if he had said nothing. “Why in the world would you want to join a psychotic freak in his quest to kill off the muggle race when you yourself-?”

“Stop!” he interrupted, “Stop now… that’s enough. Let’s just stop and forget this conversation happened.”

“You shouldn’t be ashamed of-.”

“Camilla!” he shouted, now standing himself. “What is wrong with you? I don’t want have this conversation right now.”

In the back of her mind, she knew that if she continued she would cross the line. He’d clearly marked his boundaries and warned her that she was getting to close. But she was Camilla Portman, and Camilla Portman did not like to back down in an argument.

“It’s just that you own father is a muggle and-.”

Severus reacted quickly and violently

“And he’s the most vile, disgusting, evil man I’ve ever met. Not to mention he’s weak. Just like the rest of them! Weak, idiotic, fools.”

“What makes him weak?” she asked coldly, ignoring the painful throbbing in her arm.

“The way he treats me… the way he treats my mother…”

“Yeah? I’m going to take a guess and say he beats her. Probably treats her exactly like you treat me. Like rubbish. You’re just as cruel and evil as him. You’re just like him!”

“SHUT UP!” She felt the pain in her forearm increase considerably and she could barely stand it. She continued to hold her ground, glaring up at him, but she could not help the tears that slid down her cheeks as the pain intensified. “I am nothing like him. My mother is amazing and doesn’t deserve to be treated the way she is, but you… you are senseless and inconsiderate. You’re an obnoxious, pretentious, whore and you are exactly the kind of wench that deserves the treatment my mother gets at home.”

Unable to bear the pain any longer, Camilla blurted, “Severus, please, you’re hurting me.”

He immediately released her arm. As he backed away from her she was sure she could see the panic rising in his eyes. He turned away from her and she heard him take a deep breath.

She approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Severus?” she said quietly.

He turned back to face her. Without hesitation, she lifted her foot off the ground and slammed her knee between his legs.

“Fuck!” he shouted as he bent over in pain, holding himself. After a moment, he sank to his knees as if mortally wounded and placed his head on the floor.

She looked on in smug satisfaction. “And you deserve that.”

He didn’t say anything and remained unmoving.

“Come on now, Severus, it can’t have hurt that badly,” she said after a few seconds, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re faking.”

He rolled over onto his back and looked at her. She stared down at him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, biting her lip nervously.

“Fine,” he replied stiffly.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, extending her hand to help pull him to his feet.

He hit her hand away and stood without her help. “I’m going to the library,” he muttered irritably. As he left, Camilla was quite sure she heard him mutter “bitch” under his breath.


She surveyed herself in the mirror doing her best to suck in her stomach. It was moments like these she wished she were as thin as the pretty girls that graced the pages of Witch Weekly. Giving one last tug at the pink, lacy shorts she was wearing, she left the bathroom and rummaged through Severus’ trunk. Camilla pushed away her curiosity when her hand brushed against what she was sure was the cold, shiny, silver mask and moved on pulling out one of his shirts and then a green Slytherin tie.

Back in front of Severus’ bathroom mirror, she smiled approvingly at her reflection. She thought everything had come together well. The entire effect was feminine and seductive, yet not exaggerated. It even brought back memories of a previous encounter they had had.

With of wave of her wand she eliminated the lights. She placed her wand on the bedside table and picked up a small vial of deep, crimson liquid. She swirled it around and examined it with distaste. It reminded her vaguely of blood. She uncorked it and put the vial to her lips. She downed it quickly, making sure to get every last little drop, just as Lily had said. She felt a wave of warmth come over her and then it was gone. She placed the empty vial back down. Now, all she had to do was wait.

Severus hadn’t been back to their dormitory since earlier that morning and she had expected him back no more than two hours after dinner had ended, but as midnight slowly approached Camilla began to wonder if he hadn’t perhaps decided to spend the night in the Slytherin dorm. She was stretched out across his bed willing herself not to fall asleep when a flash of lightning lit the room. She raised herself up and sauntered over to the window, peering out at the raging storm. While the sky was dark, a small sliver of moonlight was visible through the clouds illuminating the grounds enough for her to see the trees in the Forbidden Forest thrashing about in the fierce wind. Rain pounded heavily against the window and Camilla stared out, entranced.

“You know, I’m quite sure there is a perfectly fine view from your room as well.”

She spun around quickly. “Severus… what are you are you doing here?” she said, startled. After midnight had come and gone she had assumed that he would not be back until the next day.

“This is my room,” he replied calmly, “I believe it is I who should be asking you what you’re doing here.”

He stood over her, his arms against the wall supporting him and trapping her. “Well…” she began, her apprehension returning, “I happen to think you’re a clever boy, surely I don’t have to spell it out for you.”

He stepped back and looked at her. His eyes searched hers for a moment then traveled downwards. He spent quite a bit of time staring at her body and she felt herself begin to grow uncomfortable. Finally, he said, “Games are for children?”

The words came out more like a question than a statement. She smiled and nodded. “Games are for children and we’re aren’t children anymore. I’m not playing games with you. I promise.” She stepped forward and grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards her. She kissed him gently and he was quick to respond. Suddenly, everything seemed to be a whirlwind and a tangle of clothing and hands. He was whispering something in her ear, but her panicked mind couldn’t decipher it. Then she abruptly pushed him away. She didn’t know why she did it, but judging by the expression on his face she was sure he was going to make her leave. “Sorry,” she blurted, before he could say anything.

“Are you okay?” Severus asked evenly.

“Y-yes, just… can we go a little slower… please?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is this your first time?” He sounded surprised.

“Yes, I thought you knew I’d never… you said that you didn’t want anything to do with me if I wasn’t!”

He smirked. “I didn’t honestly think you were, I was being-.”

“A git?” she supplied.

“ Are you sure this is what you want?”

She steeled herself and nodded. He gave a rare, genuine smile. “Slower it is then,” he murmured softly. She placed her hand on his now bare chest as he kissed her again, much more gently this time. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how long I’ve wanted this,” he mumbled. She smiled against his lips feeling much more comfortable with the pace. Camilla could smell and taste firewhiskey and she wondered vaguely if he was only saying that because he was somewhat drunk. She didn’t ask him though; it would only ruin the mood.

After a few moments, he pulled away. “You’re absolutely sure you don’t want to stop?”

“I’m sure.”

He nodded and reached down to undo his belt.

“Wait,” she said, “I can get it.”

Her heart pounding, Camilla gathered her nerve. She told herself that it would have happened eventually; better sooner rather than later. Hands shaking, she fumbled with his belt buckle. It seemed to take her forever, but finally, she was able to control her trembling fingers enough to undo it. Then they were kissing again with passionate intensity. She ran her hands over his chest again, her fingers tracing his muscles, memorizing them. Suddenly, there was a flash of lightning followed by the sound of rocking thunder. Severus froze. She looked at him questioningly, though it was so dark she couldn't make out his expression.

"What time is it?" he asked finally, his voice hoarse.

"I don't- " she began, but he had already climbed out the bed and was pulling on his shirt. Picking up his watch from the bedside table, he looked at it and cursed. "Severus? What are you doing?"

He didn't reply. He quickly did up his belt and grabbed a dark cloak from the drawer.

"Merlin, Severus, you're not going outside are you? It's raining!"

"I have to. You can stay here if you want to," he nodded towards the bed, "but I won't be back for a bit. I wouldn't recommend waiting up for me."

"So that's it? You're just leaving?"

Without speaking he kissed her on the forehead and left, shutting the door behind him.


Camilla stabbed at her food angrily. She had decided to eat breakfast at the Gryffindor table with Lily. That way she could sit far, far away from Severus and he wouldn’t attempt to catch her eye or talk to her. She had purposely avoided him that morning, mainly because she was irritated at the disappearing act he had pulled the night before. He hadn’t even apologized to her when he came back, three hours later.

The boys all watched her with raised eyebrows. “Camilla?” Peter asked finally, “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” she snapped irritably, “Severus and I… we just had an argument.”

“Oh…” Peter didn’t seem to know what else to say, so he simply trailed off.

Lily, however, gave her a look. Camilla scowled back at her. She knew what she was thinking. She probably thought her plan had gone wrong. And it had, but Camilla certainly did not want her to have the opportunity to say, “I told you so.”

After having endured Lily’s expression long enough, Camilla said a quick goodbye to her friends and left the Great Hall. She walked past Severus, Cain and a group of Slytherins she didn’t recognize and she heard him call her name, but she refused to acknowledge him. She continued walking and climbed the marble staircase, deciding to go to class a bit early.

She had just turned into an empty corridor when she heard footsteps behind her. She looked back and rolled her eyes. He was following her. She increased her speed, but he caught up quickly and fell into pace next to her. “So you’re ignoring me now, are you?”


“Camilla, I had something to do.”

"Oh yeah? Something to do? Probably something you don't want me to know, right? That's not surprising."

"Camilla... just forget it. It doesn't concern you."

“Of course,” she snapped.

He took her arm, preventing her from walking off. “What do you want me to say?”

“You could start with an apology, seeing as you abandoned me right in the middle of-.”

“I would hardly consider it the middle. It was more like the beginning…”

And,” she continued, “you could tell me what you’re doing, leaving school grounds at midnight.”

“How do you know I’m leaving the grounds?” he asked with a smirk.

“Is this a joke to you?” she said angrily, wrenching her arm from his grasp.

“No…” He sighed. “Fine, I’m… sorry.” Camilla smiled remembering how difficult it was for him to apologize to people. “But I can’t tell you where I went last night. You just have to trust me.”

Camilla looked at him. “Maybe you should trust me.”

“I don’t trust easily…”

“I’ve noticed. But Severus, how are we going to be married if we can’t be honest with each other?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. Pulling herself up on her tiptoes, she kissed him softly. “You can tell me anything,” she whispered against his lips.

He placed his hands on her hips, his thumbs rubbing small circles just above the waistband of her skirt. He seemed to thinking, his eyes searching hers. Finally, he said, “You won’t like it.” His voice was hesitant and Camilla could barely contain herself. This was it. He was going to confess one of his secrets. He trusted her.

“I’m still stuck with you,” she replied with a smile.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a light laugh, “I guess you are…” He took a deep breath. “You know that-.”

Suddenly, a loud shout rang out through the corridor, interrupting him. "Oy! Snivellus! You get your filthy paws off of her!" James and Sirius were approaching them, their wands drawn. Remus and Peter followed a few paces behind.
Severus had had his own wand out, it seemed, the moment James opened his mouth. They were exchanging venomous glares. Camilla groaned inwardly.

“Why don’t you mind your own business, Potter?” Severus said with a sneer.

“You manhandling my friend is my business!”

Camilla gave a giggle that was clearly unappreciated, because both James and Sirius scowled at her. “He wasn’t… ‘manhandling’ me. Can we all just calm down?”

“He’s really got you brainwashed hasn’t he? Standing up for him like that…”

“I can take care of myself, Camilla,” Severus said, frowning at her.

She ignored him and instead continued talking to James. “We were just making up… I told you we had had an argument. Everything’s fine.”

“Then why was he touching you?”

“Because I can, Potter, deal with it.”

James raised his wand and in a flash a spell was jetting towards her. “James!” she shrieked. But Severus waved his wand almost lazily and blocked the spell, sending it shooting back towards them, forcing Peter to jump out of the way. “That’s not fair! I didn’t even have my wand out!” she said furiously, “If you’re going to try and hex me then-.”

“I wasn’t trying to hex you! It went a little wide,” he replied, casting Severus a fierce glare.

Severus raised his wand and was about to send a spell at James when a stern voice rang out, echoing in the corridor. “We do not duel between classes! Mr. Potter, lower your wand! That goes for you two as well, Black, Snape.” Professor McGonagall surveyed them all with a stern, angry expression etched across her features. “Will someone please enlighten as to why it is always this group of students who seem inclined to curse each other whenever the opportunity arises?”

Sirius quickly began to speak. “It wasn’t our fault, Professor. Camilla was upset at breakfast earlier and we came to check on her. When we found her, he,” Sirius pointed to Severus, “was hurting her. Professor, I’m sure you would agree, that it was our duty to put a stop to it.”

“That is not what was going on,” Camilla said, giving Sirius a scowl, “They are jumping to conclusions, Professor.”

“So you deny that he was touching you?” James snapped, crossing his arms across his chest.

“No, I don’t. He had his hands on my waist… we were kissing, James.”

James opened his mouth, then shut it, seemingly speechless. She caught Remus shifting uncomfortably and running his hands through his hair and she felt slightly guilty, as if she had been caught cheating on him. She carefully avoided meeting his eyes.

“Fine! But that is irrelevant,” Sirius said with a wave of his arm, “We know he’s been abusing her Professor, so we naturally thought-.”

“He has not!” she shouted back at him.

“Oh yeah? Remus told us what you said!” Sirius pointed at Remus, who looked as if he would like to disappear into the floor. “He told us about the time Snape hit you! And then he said you belonged to him! You don’t have to stand up for him!”

“That is enough!” McGonagall raised her hand in the air. “I don’t want to hear another word from you three. Mr. Lupin… is that indeed what Ms. Portman confessed to you?”

Camilla gave Remus a desperate look, pleading with him not to say anything. If Severus got in trouble, it would most definitely take a toll on his newly gained trust in her.

He looked at her and gave her a small, regretful shrug. “Yes, Professor.” Professor McGonagall looked sternly at Severus and Camilla.

“They’re lying, Professor,” was all Camilla could think to say, “I never said those things.”

“What did you expect her to say?” Sirius snapped quietly.

“I said enough! Mr. Snape… do you have anything to add? Did you hit Ms. Portman?”

Severus was silent for a moment. She turned to look at him. Deny, deny, deny! She screamed at him in her head.

“Yes, Professor.”

Camilla let out a frustrated sigh.

“Very well, Mr. Snape, you need to come with me. I believe a visit to the Headmaster is in order. Ms. Portman be prepared to be called to the Headmaster’s office in due time yourself.”

Severus picked up his bag and hoisted it onto his shoulder. “Severus…” she mumbled taking a hold of his arm before he could follow the Professor. “I’m-.”

But he kissed her, interrupting her apology. “It’s fine,” he said softly.

James’ eyes were so wide they looked as if they might pop out of his head and Severus couldn’t seem to resist giving him a satisfied smirk as he left.


Clutching the note from Professor McGonagall, Camilla walked briskly to the transfiguration professor’s office. She stopped as she reached the door. Severus was sitting outside the room on the stone floor. He stood as she approached, watching her with his arms folded across his chest.

“Are you alright?” she asked before knocking on the door, “You aren’t in trouble?”

“Trouble? McGonagall wants me expelled.” The tone of his voice was cold and accusing.

“Are you angry with me or something, Severus? Because it sounds like you’re blaming me.”

She watched him grind his teeth in frustration. “Why, Camilla? Tell me why you feel the desperate need to run to Lupin every time we fight.”

“He’s my friend, Severus.”

“Why not Lily, then?”

“Lily doesn’t understand. She-.”

He held up a hand to stop her. “No. You know what I think? I think you run slutting to Lupin, tearing off your clothes and throwing yourself at him because your shut in with me most of the time and I’m so damn cruel to you that at the end of the day you need someone to reassure you that you’re loved.” He spat the word as if were disgusting and foul.

“That’s not true,” she replied softly, staring back at him.

“Yes, it is,” he snarled back at her, “You need his hands all over you so you can feel like someone wants you.”

She began to feel her anger rise up in her. What right did he have to judge her? He was the one who couldn’t control himself. He was the one was embittered and hateful.

“Fine, Severus! Fine!” she said angrily, throwing her hands in the air, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do want to feel as if someone cares about me. So what? Remus loves me and you don’t. He’s kind to me and you’re not. He’s gentle and you… you’re clearly not.”

She paused, letting her words hang in the air for a moment. He said nothing so she continued. “I’m not going to stop seeing him because for some selfish reason it irritates you. And you know what? If I want to take my clothes off when I’m with him, it’s none of your business,” she said with malice.

“None of my-? You’re my fiancée, not his! And it more than irritates me. It makes me sick. The thought of his hands, touching you, makes me sick.” His expression was almost pained, as if the thought truly did make him nauseous.

She blinked. “Are you telling me that you’re jealous?”

“If I am?” he asked.

Camilla opened her mouth to answer, when the office door swung open. “Heavens, Ms. Portman. We didn’t realize you were out here. You ought to have knocked.”

The professor ushered them both into the office with a wave of her hand. Camilla glanced at Severus. His distraught, sickened expression had disappeared and had been replaced by a mask of indifference.

“Take a seat,” McGonagall said, “We won’t stand for violence at this school and the appropriate measures need to be taken to ensure that this does not happen again.”

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to review! I promise I will get around to responding to every review, however it might take a bit since updating the story is first priority (I'm sure you all agree).

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