I really hope you do not absolutely hate this chapter. I’ve loved writing it though, mostly because I felt like I’ve really honed some of my writing skills during it, such as elapsing time (If you read my other story you know that I have issues with that). Please Enjoy and if you find any problems with it do not hesitate to tell me.
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She couldn’t even begin to comprehend what happened next. One moment she was sure he was going to kill her, the next a flood of thoughts that were definitely not hers coursed through her mind. She felt a powerful lust to control and to kill. Bloodied bodies flashed across her eyes as an insane happiness permeated her. She knew that this happiness wasn’t right, though it felt wonderful. Part of her just wanted to leave it be, the other though, was terrified by the sight of all these bodies and wanted nothing more than to break this stream of images. She tried to push them away but all that accomplished was an astonishing pain in her temples, causing her to scream in pain and fall to the ground.
“Dumbledore! He’s coming!” One of the Death Eaters shouted, his fright audible.
Kristen looked up at Voldermort through bleary eyes, astonished to see a look of pure horror come over his face when she looked at him.
He quickly regained his composure. “All right lads, we’ve had our fun for the day.” He gave Kristen one last searing look before ‘popping’ away, followed by his five lackeys.
All she could do was stare at the spot where he had been standing, unable to move and barely able to keep a hold on her weary conscious. She just couldn’t believe some of things she’s seen, and the emotions she had felt along with them, that happiness at seeing the dead bodies…had it been hers? She was horrified at the very thought and forced her self to shake her head slightly and try and rid herself of it.
“Oh Merlin!” She heard her Head of House shout, though she barely comprehended it. The rest was a blur for her. She vaguely noticed the entrance of Dumbledore as he shouted at several shop owners and held a protective arm around her. She did notice though, that she never once saw her friends. As soon as McGonagall got there she had pressed Kristen tightly to her and then handed her off to Dumbledore. They never said a word to her, and she never offered any. The same images kept playing in her mind, her friends’ pain, the dead people, and then the disturbing happiness that came along with it. She then felt herself being gingerly picked up off the ground, and then a gentle rocking of her body ensued, slowly lulling her to sleep.
* * *
She felt as if a giant truck had barreled into her head when she woke up. She immediately clasped her hand over her forehead, the pain nearly unbearable. She felt someone press a bottle to her mouth, coaxing her to drink the substance. She hesitantly swallowed, her throat burning as it went down. She found though, that the pain nearly vanished. She now felt calm enough that she could open her eyes.
“Good Afternoon Miss St.Claire,” Dumbledore greeted her as she sat up. “I must say you gave us quite a fright.”
She slowly looked around, finding herself in a starch white room and a cheery looking window with sunlight spilling through. She then turned to Dumbledore and wearily asked, “Who are you?”
He looked at her questioningly. “Headmaster Dumbledore.” He answered her tentatively.
She continued to look at him with a blank stare. “Headmaster of what?”
“Oh dear,” he breathed out. “You don’t remember a thing do you?”
“Remember what?” She inquired quickly, panic overspreading her face. “Where am I?”
“St. Mungo’s. You were hurt so I brought you here,” He told her. He was at a complete loss as to why this was happening. When they had found her there had been no evident bruises or any marks, indicating that a cruciatus curse had not been administered to her. She had been perfectly fine when they found her, and yet she had remained completely silent and blank faced before losing consciousness. She had now been in St. Mungo’s for nearly a fortnight.
“St. Mungo’s,” She repeated slowly, the word obviously foreign to her.
“Like a hospital,” Dumbledore provided for her, remembering a story of one in a muggle newspaper. “Now dear, can you tell me the last thing you remember? Anything at all?”
She scrunched up her nose in thought and stared at her intertwined hands. “Nothing,” She answered so quietly he could barely hear. She looked up at him, her eyes watery and filled with distress. “I can’t remember anything.”
Dumbledore was visibly panicking. He had been relying on her telling of the events to find out what happened. Those poor children were still unresponsive and the wounds on their bodies were healing slowly. He needed to know if something else had been done to them and why she had remained unaffected. He stood up and held out his hand to her. “Would you like to see your friends?”
She looked at his hand with contemplation before saying solemnly. “I don’t know who you’re talking about though.”
“It does not matter,” he assured her. “Maybe seeing their faces will help you remember.”
She hesitantly took his hand and stepped out of the bed, taking a moment to get her equilibrium back. Dumbledore then led her out of the tiny room and into a barren hallway. They made their way to an elevator of sorts and went to level 4.
This hall was much fuller than the last. Many people in white robes were bustling to and fro and sobs could be heard from more than one distraught visitor. Kristen instinctively clung to Dumbledore’s arm.
“This is the room of your best friend James, and Remus.” He told her as the entered a similarly starch white room. He led her over to the raven-haired boy saying, “From what I have been told he has been your friend since birth.”
Kristen gently picked up his limp hand and looked at his face. “I know him?” She asked meekly, touching his face as if it would help her to identify him.
“Yes.” He replied, feeling pity for the obvious pain she must be feeling. He briefly wondered if he should be doing this to her, making her fully realize that she had lost everything so suddenly upon her awakening. He quickly shook it off, deciding that is this would help her regain her memory any faster, it was worth it.
“And this is Mr. And Mrs. Lupin,” He said next, motioning to a pair of very tired looking adults who looked startled by the mentioning of their names. “Roger, Catherine, this is Kristen. She is one of your son’s friends.”
“It’s very nice to meet you dear,” The woman said, her eyes rimmed with red, as she stood up. Her husband held her hand to steady her.
“You as well,” Kristen said politely, silently relieved that she was actually meeting them for the first time. She then walked slowly over to Remus and stroked his face as she did James, hoping that it would ignite something within her. She did feel a sort of anxiety well up in her but she had no idea where it came from. She noticed that the man with the long white beard, she couldn’t keep track of his name to save her life, was whispering to the boy’s parents. She looked back over the boy called James. She felt bad for him; he didn’t have anyone to sit with him.
“Come along dear, we’ve more to see,” Dumbledore called out to her, leaving Remus’s parents to sit back beside him. He led her a ways down the hall and into another room, one with a boy and a girl. The girl had a woman with light blonde hair sitting beside her while the boy had a woman that was quite portly with long and somewhat raggedy dark hair. “This is Lily Evans and Peter Pettigrew. Good Afternoon Mrs. Evans,” he said politely to the blonde woman. She looked up quickly, her eyes blood shot and puffy, but she managed to smile. “This is one of your daughter’s friends, Kristen.” Mrs. Evans nodded meekly to her. She was grasping Lily’s hand tightly, as if afraid it would slip away. Kristen didn’t want to intrude upon that; instead she turned to the other boy’s, Peter’s, bed. His mother barely even acknowledge them. The only sign that she saw them at all was the glare she gave Kristen. It distressed Kristen that she was apparently so hated when she had no idea what she had done. ‘Did I hurt him some how?’ Kristen asked her self feverishly. Dumbledore laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Come,” He beckoned her quietly, leading her out of the room.
“Why was she upset with me?” Kristen asked as soon as they were in the hallway
Dumbledore sighed. “Some people do not know how to deal with the grief they are feeling so the accidentally channel it to someone else. She was not upset with you Kristen, only very sad for her son. Ah, here we are, the last room.” They entered into yet another starch white room. A woman with red hair was sitting beside a boy, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear lovingly. “Why Emily, I was wondering where you had run off to.” Dumbledore said with exuberance.
The woman whipped her head to them, smiling. “Well, Sirius is as good as a son to me. And his detestable mother refuses to visit him so I decided to.”
“You are very caring Emily.” Dumbledore said with praise.
It seemed only then that the woman realized that he had a person with him. “Kristen!” She shouted with joy, quickly enveloping the tiny girl in her arms.
“Let go!” Kristen shouted in fear, trying to push away from her.
“Emily, please, she doesn’t know you,” Dumbledore said quickly, holding on to Kristen’s shaking shoulders.
“What do you mean she doesn’t know me? She’s known me her entire life,” Emily said in confusion.
The Headmaster looked somewhat nervous when he said, “She’s lost her memory.”
Emily stared at him in shock and then looked to Kristen. “You really don’t know who I am?”
Kristen shook her head quickly, afraid that the woman might attack her again. “I’ve been showing her friends to her.” Dumbledore said. He then motioned to the boy lying on the bed. “This is Sirius Black by the way.”
Kristen walked over to him as Dumbledore and the other woman continued talking. She felt something different when she looked at him than when she had looked at the others. Recognition. Not total recognition, but enough to feel like she had seen him before. Her stomach felt strangely jittery though, as if there were butterflies in it.
“Well I really do need to be with James. I’ve been with Sirius all morning,” She heard the woman say.
“I can stay with Sirius,” Kristen heard herself volunteer, not quite sure where it came from.
Dumbledore smiled at her. “You will have to watch him by yourself I’m afraid. I have to speak to Professor McGonagall within the hour.”
Kristen shrugged, quite indifferent as to if he was there or not. Either way she was not going to have more memory of either of them. “Stay in the room then until I get back. If you need anything the healers will be more than happy to assist you.” With that he and Mrs. Potter left the room, leaving her with Sirius and an old woman sleeping by the window.
She settled herself beside him and picked up his hand. It was warm, and somewhat comforting. Once again she felt an array of emotions broil inside her, everything from jealousy, to sheer bliss. She couldn’t understand it, yet she was happy to have someone that she was sure she had known at some point.
She had been in there for the better part of an hour when she suddenly felt him stir, quite startling her. She would have yanked her hand away had he not closed his own around it. She watched as he slowly opened his eyes, the pupils taking awhile to become accustomed to the light. “Kristen?” He asked in a hoarse voice.
All she knew to do was to nod, so she did. “Oh,” she suddenly said, standing up. “I should go find…oh what is his name, the man with the long white beard. I’m sure he wants to talk to you!” She rambled off quickly, about to run for the door.
“Wait,” he said to her, forcing her to retreat to his bed. He looked at her inquisitively and asked, “What happened Kristen? Were we really attacked by death eaters?”
She shifted from foot to foot nervously. “Look, Sirius, I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know. The man with the long white beard, he asked me if I knew what happened too. I can’t remember any of it. I really haven’t even the slightest idea of who you are for that matter. I mean, I know I know you because I can somehow tell I know you but I don’t know you at all. I can’t remember you.” She vaguely explained, slumping back down into the chair.
“You lost your memory?” He asked in shock.
Kristen ran her fingers through her hair uncertainly. “Um…yes, I suppose.” She answered quietly. She watched as the boy took it in, looking exceptionally pensive. She knew she should get someone, she was guessing that it was a big deal that he was awake. But she knew him! That meant he knew her too! She wanted so desperately to ask questions. “We were friends, right?” She asked him suddenly.
He looked a bit surprised by her question but then he smiled. “Yeah, for lack of a better word. We were really quite mean to each other.”
Kristen looked horror stricken by it. “Oh I am very sorry! I’m sure I didn’t mean it!”
Sirius laughed here, quickly stopping though as he clutched his side. “Are you all right?” She asked him quickly.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” He grunted, forcing a smile. “It’s funny really. It’s like you’re total different person now. You’re a lot nicer to me.”
Kristen seemed hurt by his statement as she hung her had and twisted her hands together. “No, no, no,” Sirius said quickly, grabbing her hand to try and comfort her. “I usually deserved it. Trust me.”
She managed to smile a bit at that. “Thanks for being honest. You easily could have said that we were best friends in the world or that I was your worst enemy or something else preposterous.”
“Well it all would have been ruined by James anyhow,” Sirius explained his actions. “Speaking of, how are the others?”
“Well, I saw four others and they were all asleep. The girl with red hair, Lily I think, her mum was crying so I’m not really sure how she is.” Kristen rattled off. “Oh, and that boy, James, his mum was in here with you. I think it was his mum anyways.” She then looked at him pensively as he smiled serenely at the news. “Why don’t your parents visit you?” She found herself asking quite rudely. She immediately slapped her hand over her mouth after she said it but if course, it was too late.
His face fell at the question but he answered nonetheless. “My mum doesn’t really like me. I’m a disappointment to her.”
“But why?” Kristen pressed him. “You’re very nice.”
He laughed a bit at that. “Now there’s something you never would have said before. If you want to start remembering you need to meaner to me.”
“Like I said, I’m sure I didn’t really mean it,” Kristen said quickly, looking near tearful. “Please forgive me, I’m really sorry!”
“Don’t be,” He assured her with a large grin. “I asked for it every time.”
“Well Mr. Black,” A healer said cheerily as she walked into the room. “It’s nice to see your eyes after two weeks of waiting. And you,” she looked at Kristen pensively, “you’re not supposed to be on this floor or awake.”
“Um…the man with the long white beard brought me to see my friends.” She answered timidly.
“Dumbledore,” Sirius supplied. “And I’m extremely sore and really not quite sure what has happened.”
“That’s to be expected,” She said with a smile. “And I’m sketchy on the details of what trauma you went through as well, though I’m sure Headmaster Dumbledore will be able to explain.” She then turned to Kristen. “You need to be back in your bed resting.”
“But I promised I would stay here!” Kristen protested.
The healer looked uncomfortable. “All right,” She relented. “I suppose they’ll be moving you down here anyways. But I still need to do an over all check on you. Sit on the end of the bed,” Kristen dutifully did as she was told. The healer got out her wand and poked her in several places, getting an odd look about her face. “Are you feeling all right dear?”
“Perfectly,” Kristen answered honestly. She had no aches or pains, except for a minor headache, and maybe a little sleepiness, but otherwise perfectly fine.
“You can’t remember anything!” Sirius pointed out with a bit of laughter. “That means something’s wrong.”
“You have amnesia?” The healer asked with a startled look.
“Amnesia, as in you can’t remember your past.”
Kristen rubbed her arm a bit uncomfortably. “Not really.”
“Can you tell me what your eye color and name is?” The healer inquired of her.
“My eyes are brown!” Kristen said excitedly, happy to know an answer.
“Fraid not dearie,” the woman said sympathetically. “They’re green. And you name?”
“My eyes most certainly are not green!” Kristen shot back. “They’re dark brown.”
“Don’t worry lass, forgetting one’s own appearance is a common sign of amnesia. Trust me, they’re green. Now, tell me your name please.
Kristen stared at her a moment, looking as if she was trying to figure out a very complicated puzzle. She sighed though and ran her fingers through her hair. “Well, people keep calling me Kristen, so I guess that’s my first name but I do know my last name. It’s Riddle.”
“Is that right?” The healer asked of Sirius.
He fought to keep a calm face. “Um… yeah. That’s her name.”
“Well Miss Kristen, as you are going to need to stay here a bit longer I’ll have Ms. Finchley here moved to another room so you can be with your friend.” The healer smiled widely. “You are a strange case Kristen, you remember your name but nothing else and we have no idea how you came by your illness. Don’t worry though, we have some of the best healers of the world right here to help you.” She then stood up and walked back out into the hallway.
“What the bloody hell do you mean that your name is Riddle?!”
Kristen looked at Sirius, startled by his word choice and sudden yell at her. “Well, it’s my name. It’s not something I have to remember, it’s just who I am. Like my eyes, I know their brown. That’s me.”
“You’re eyes are green and your name is Kristen St. Clair.” He corrected her.
She looked acutely distressed by this revelation. “But I know,” She whispered sadly, blinking away tears of confusion. “It’s Riddle. It’s always been Riddle.”
Sirius looked at her sympathetically and sighed. “Look Kristen, did you know that I was hurt?”
She shrugged her shoulders half heatedly. “I supposed.”
“They put a spell on me, the crucio. Wait,” he suddenly stopped. “You do know you’re a witch right?”
“Well of course,” She answered simply. “How could I not know that? I can feel the magic inside me.”
He looked at her oddly for what she felt must have been at least the seventeenth time that day. “Well, the crucio is a spell that causes immense pain. A man named Voldermort sent them.”
Kristen nodded her head numbly, trying desperately to take it in. “But Kristen…” he looked nearly ill as he tried to continue. “Voldermort’s real name is Tom Riddle.”
She blinked rapidly at this, her mid obviously working quickly to find a solution. “Surely it’s a common name…”
Sirius solemnly shook his head. “No it’s not. Riddle is a pretty rare name. And don’t you think it’s odd, that you can remember nothing except your last name?”
“And what I look like,” she put in desperately. “I have dark brown hair and eyes.”
“No Kirsten, you don’t. Look at your hair,” he instructed her. She tentatively put a few strands of hair in her face. “See, blonde.”
“It’s brown!” She nearly yelled at him in frustration. “I can see it! How do you think it’s blonde?”
“What’s going on?” A deep voice said a bit threateningly. Kristen whipped around to see that Dumbledore had returned. “What is the meaning of this Miss St. Claire.”
“My name is not St. Claire!” She shouted at him with desperation. Tears were freely running down her face now. “Why won’t anyone believe me?” She collapsed to the floor on her knees as she held herself tightly.
“Do you know what she’s speaking of?” Dumbledore asked Sirius quietly, bending down to be on Kristen’s level.
“She thinks her name is Riddle and that she has brown eyes and hair.” Sirius answered, slowly getting out of his bed and bending down to her. Shots of pain went through him, sending stinging sensation to his eyes as tears of pain threatened to form.
“That’s not possible,” Dumbledore whispered in bewilderment.
“Why?” She demanded to know. “Why is it not possible? That’s me! That’s who I am!”
“Oh my child,” he breathed, embracing her tightly. “You’ve been through a horrible ordeal. I’m so sorry.”
Sirius was surprised to see that Dumbledore sounded quite emotional as he continued to hug Kristen, gently rocking her back and forth as Sirius sat on his knees and watched in a daze, only able to wonder what was going on.
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