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Warning: very very weird and odd fic. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Harry sealed his eyes shut and ran through a supposedly solid looking wall pushing his trolly and owl Hedwig infront of him. He finally stopped and opened his eyes to the sight of the buzzing platform 9 and 3 quarters. Harry happily pulled his trunk through the crowd and onto the gleaming Hogwarts express looking for a free compartment. He finally found one and sat down, waiting for his friends Ron and Hermione to arrive.

"Hey cutie," Harry spun round to see Ron and Hermione entering his compartment. He gaped at the sight before him. Book wormish Know-it-all Hermione was wearing so much eye shadow and make up you could hardly see her face. Not only that her normally frizzy brown hair was sticking up in spikes making her look like a clown.

"Oh my god, Hermione you're a chav!" Harry yelled in amazement.

"Aren't I," she replied twirling around. Harry noticed that Ron was staring dreamily at her. Suddenly the train lurched forward and slowly began to move. Hermione suddenly jumped up and started running around screaming with her hands in the air.

"Hermione my poochunk, what could possibly be wrong?" Ron asked sticking the stem of a rose in his mouth but ended up gasping in pain when the thorns on it cut into his mouth.

"I forgot my school robes, Oh whatever shall I do?" Hermione asked acting damsel in distress.

"Go in your underwear," Ron suggested. Before Hermione could answer however, the door to the compartment burst open and Draco Malfoy entered followed by two very fat and ugly girls dressed in frilly pink dresses.

"Pothead, Weasel and....that thing over there, we meet again. But now I am indestructible, because I have new body guards. Meet Gregina and Crabbs. Muhahahahahahahahahahahah. Now let's get this movie on the street" Malfoy drawled putting his arms around the two girls.


"I think he means show on the road," Hermione whispered so everone would understand.

Suddenly Ron jumped up, wide eyed and looking terrified.

"It's too scary, it's, it's pink!" he yelled, cowering behind Harry who was already pointing his wand at Malfoy. Without thinking, Harry yelled the first incantation that came to his head, "YETOLECOPUS." Hermione screamed, Ron scratched his head, a blinding purple light filled the room.

The purple light faded away. Malfoy, Gregina, Crabbs, Ron and Hermione stood unchanged. But then something amazing happened. Harry began to grow. He grew up and out, bigger, taller and fatter. His eyes turned to yellow slits and and his nose disappeard, replaced by two holes. All over his body he grew masses of snow white fur making him bigger and plumper than he already was. His white paws grew long, sharp claws as so did his feet. He was no longer a wizard. He was a Yetti, with glasses.

"AAAAHHHHHH, run for your life, it's the abominable snowman," Hermione screamed crouching down behind Ron.

"No, it's bigfoot," yelled Ron.

"Yodelayhihoo," Harry the Yetti howled. The others just gaped stupidly at the Yetti. "Now I am an all powerful god, there is nothing anyone can do to stop me, I shall finally defeat you Malfoy Muhahahaha," The Yetti boomed, making giant footprints as it charged towards Malfoy.

"Noooooooo, O.K, O.K. I give, this isn't my real hair." Malfoy moaned. Then to everyone's amusement he pulled off his blond wig to reveal his real hair. Pink, long and curly hair. Everyone burst out laughing, even Harry the Yetti was clutching his sides with laughter.

Finally eveybody stopped laughing. Harry the Yetti was once again charging at Malfoy, Hermione was muttering about how she could make a lovely fur coat with Yetti fur and Ron was using his head for once.

"Hey, maybe if we shave it, it'll turn back into Harry," Ron suggested wisely.

"Yeah, and we can leave some of it so he'll look like Santa!" Hermione piped in.

But it was too late now, the Yetti was almost on Malfoy, about to rip him apart. "I am indestructible, there is nothing anyone can do to stop me. I possess power you will never comprehend, I mean, just look at all my bulging muscles! So Malfoy, how do plan to defeat me?" Harry the Yetti asked in it's booming voice.

"You may be strong, but your still a bonehead Potter. Have you never read all 52 novels of the Himalayan myths?

"Do I look like a boff?"

"No you look like a Yetti. Anyway, there is only one way to defeat a Yetti, with this......a BANANA,"

"No, it can't be, it's too bright, nooooooooooo," the Yetti yelled, backing away from Malfoy and the killer banana. Suddenly the Yetti began to change. The fur fell out, the eyes behind the glasses became green and round once again. The claws retracted and the figure shrunk. The Yetti was gone, Harry Potter was back.

"Smell ya later Pothead," malfoy drawled, his usual sneer planted back on his face. He then turned his back on them and returned to his own compartment followed by Gregina and Crabbs. Harry sat back down feeling very weak and pathetic in human form. "Cheer up Harry, at least Pothead sounds better than Yetti," Ron pointed out, trying and failing to comfort his friend. Ron then went and sat next to Hermione who looked very dissapointed.

"Awww, he would have looked cute with Santa's beard!" she remarked glumly.



Hey all hopefully kind readers, I know this fic was a bit far-fetched and crazy but it was written by a crazy person. Anyway thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it. Please review

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