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[ please read Author's Note @ end of chapter ! THANKS ! ]

Chapter Twelve


"Oye, Prongs ! You have to come see . . . this," an excited Sirius Black quickly changfed his expression as he looked upon his bestfriends' face. "Looks like you just lost the quidditch game of the year."

James sat up on the headboard of his bed, "Lily caught me."

Sirius raised a brow and leaned against the doorframe, "Caught you ? Doing what ?"

"Going out with Ivy."

Sirius smirked, "And here I thought she caught you doing something . . . else."

"I'm serious, Padfoot."

"Oh yeah ? Well then who the hell am I ?" Sirius joked as a small smile played slowly on his face.

"Sirius, I'm not joking," James said in an exasperated tone, "She saw me leaving with Ivy after class."

"Did you actually end up going out with Ivy ?"

"No, after Lily saw us, I told Ivy that the date was off."

"Well what does it matter ? I thought you two were just friends ? If she saw you with another girl, she shouldn't have gotten angry, right ?"

James groaned, "But that's the thing - she was angry !"

Sirius furrowed a brow, "But you didn't even leave with Ivy."

"Lily saw us before I told Ivy that the date was off," James groaned again.

"Are you sure Lily was mad ?"

He looked over at Sirius, "I think I should know when she gets mad, Padfoot. I mean - she acted as if I cheated on her. Cheated. If Lily and I had ever gotten together, would you please do me a favor, and inform me immediately."

Sirius shrugged, "Can't say that you have."

"Then why the hell is this so confusing ?!"

"Well, maybe, just maybe because you're dating other girls when you know you like Lily." Sirius said in an almost sarcastic tone.

"But Lily doesn't like me, I'm wasting my time."

"She doesn't like you ? Oh really ? . . . well if she so happens to 'not like you' - then why did she get mad over seeing you with another girl ?"

James thought. In all truth, he didn't know.

"And why, if she doesn't like you, did she ask for your forgiveness and for you two to be friends when she was the one who hated you the most out of every living creature in this school ?"

James ruffled his hair - he hated being confused.

"See," Sirius began as he walked more into the dormitory, "my theory is; that both of you are too caught up in the reality of being together that you are both to blind to see that you like each other. So you both need to converse, communicate, talk."

James snorted at Sirius' . . . seriousness, "Who'd you steal that line from ?"

"I have no idea what on earth you're talking about," Sirius said, attempting to speak in his girliest voice possible.

"Remus, right?"

"Wrong," Sirius smirked, "Abbey. She's very opinionated."

James smiled as he nodded.

But was it true ? Was James blind when it came to Lily ? Maybe. But he didn't know, when it came to Lily, he never really did know.

"So if we're done here," Sirius said, beginning to walk backwards out of the dorm with his hands behind his back, "there happens to be a sixth year Slytherin tap dancing around the school in McGonagall's shoes. That is something that I cannot miss."

* * * *


"Lily, wait !"

Lily clenched her jaw and quickened her pace. She didn't feel like being anywhere near James right now. "No, Potter."

"Lily, please !" He grabbed her arm, causing her to stop in her tracks. "Can we please talk ?"

"I'm on my way to dinner, Potter." Lily replied coldly as she pulled her arm away from his grasp, "So no, we can't talk."

She knew why she was angry, and she knew that she was wrong for being angry. But that didn't stop Lily from hating James any less than she did two minutes ago. She was human, she had emotions and feelings. Just like everybody else. But was it right - to be angry at James for something that she shouldn't be angry about ?

"Lily," he grabbed her arm again before she could walk away, "Don't you think dinner can wait ?"

She glared, "I'm hungry. No, I'm starving. Actually, I'm famished. So if you'd be so kind to let go of my arm and leave me alone, it would be deeply appreciated."

"We need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes, we do."

Lily moved her arm around, trying to loosen his grip, "No, we don't."

"Why can't we just talk for five minutes ! All I'm asking for is for five short minutes."

"We have nothing to discuss ! Now would you please let go of my arm !"

"We do have something we need to discuss, Lily. And you know it too."

"I said it once, and I will say it again, Potter. We. Have. NOTHING ! To. Talk. About !"

Fine, if she didn't want to cooperate, that was fine. Just because she didn't want to talk, that wasn't going to stop James from saying what he had to say, "Why are you so afraid ?"

Lily raised a brow, "Excuse me ?"

James ignored her response and continued, "Everytime we get this much closer," he said while pinching his fingers together, "you run away. We kiss, you ignore the whole situation and go back to being the number one James Potter hater in Hogwarts. Then, when we finally become friends, you turn away because - because I went out with another girl !"

"I'm not running from anyth -"

"Yes, you are, Lily !" James threw his arms in the air, letting go of Lily. This time, she didn't turn away. "You're running because you're afraid. Afraid of the truth."

"The truth ? Look James, you are - "

"The truth that you know you like me just as much as I like you."

Lily refused to accept that he was right. "You self - centered son of a - "

"This isn't about me, Evans. This has never been about me. You run from the truth because it goes against everything you've ever known or believed about me."

She stared.

"You're afraid because you know there's a part of you that wants to be with me too."

Lily had never been so . . . stunned before in her life. Maybe the time that she kissed James; but this time, it was different. It was like she was looking at her life in whole different point of view. James' point of view. And the scarey thing was, that his perspective was much, much clearer than her own.

"I like you Lily. I like you, and you know that. Ever since we were eleven, every date I went on, I wished the person was you. No one ever measured up to you, and all you did was push me away. And all I keep doing is going after you, but you push me even further. But I'm tired of doing that. I'm tired of waiting for someone who doesn't want to even look me in the eye," James ruffled his hair, "So I need the truth, now. Because I can't keep being led on, and then shut down for the rest of my life. Am I right - are you just running ? Or am I just saying these things because it's what I want to hear ?"

This was it. Lily's moment of truth. She didn't even need to think about how she was going to answer James because she already knew what she wanted to say.

She looked up at him, not taking her peircing green eyes off of his, "You're not just saying these things James. Because you're right. Everything you just said about me, the running, being afraid of the truth, you're absolutely right."

______________________________


Author's Note ; FINALYYY ! I am back ! woohoo. ;) computer was fixed. it's all good now. so yes, here is the TWELFTH chapter. i hope you enjoy, and if you didn't, i'm sorry. l0l. well, there are TWO more chapters that i have written, and i will type them up asap. so stay tuned. Oh yeah, and sorry for the kind - of cliff hanger. ;) it's not that big of a cliffy, but it is a cliffy none the less. okay well, you know that new story i've been telling you guys about in the author's note in the eleventh chapter (whoa, long sentence) ? well i started it ! and i'm going to post the Intro once this chapter is validated. so go check it out. it's called "A Black Life Untold". i really like the concept of it, and i hope you guys will too. ;) please R&R both stories because i need feedback ! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU !

Disclaimer ; I own nothing of J.K.'s. So have a donkey. ;)

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