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He got to the mansion and entered through the front door it was as gloomy as ever, he sent his bags to his room and climbed the stairs to his father’s study, he knocked, after receiving no answer he slowly opened the door, he saw his father who was very concentrated over a piece of parchment,.

"Good evening, Father" he said startling Lucius 

"Draco, what did I tell you about bothering me when I’m in my study! Get out this instant!"

"But father, I think we should have a discussion concerning my future, Draco said trying to keep his voice as calm as possible."

"You shouldn’t think about your future, Draco we’ve been over it a thousand times already, your future is set, you will become the youngest Death Eater there has ever been and there by fulfill your dream."

"No father, I will fulfill your dream that way, not mine" he said in barely audible tone.

"What was that son; you dare face me, your father."

"No father."

"Now go to your room!"

He made no movement.

"I said go to your room you good for nothing piece of scum!" Saying this Lucius took his wand and threw Draco right into his room.

Memories consume
like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
you all assume
I'm safe here in my room
unless I try to start again

Draco sat silently on the floor of his room, like he did so many times before .

“Why, why can’t I stand to my father, why do I keep putting up with his heartlessness, he never was a real father to me anyway, he always made me feel different he always banged into my head that I’m more powerfull than the others and he never showed me love and the best solution for everything was for me to go to my room, he always thought that if I wen to my room and didn’t bother him any longer then “poof” and the problem disappears, he was always a coward, always running away from problems instead of solving them”

When he was five:

"Daddy, can I have an ice-cream like the others?"
"No Draco you can not, you don’t eat ice- cream, you are too old for that now, and do not call me “daddy” that is not appropriate for a Malfoy, you have to address to me as father or sir, is that clear?"

"But all the other kids…"

"You are not like the others Draco, you are special, more powerful better than anyone, now is that clear?

"Yes father, yes it is…"

When he was seven:

"What is the meaning of this Draco, how could you associate yourself with someone so low!?"

"But father, Danny isn’t low, we have fun together, he’s teaching me new games and…"

"Fun together!? New games?! Draco he is a mudblood, a disgrace for the human race, and you spend your precious time playing games with him when you could learn new spells?!"

He was eleven and back from first year:

"Father I met a very smart girl in school, and she’s very cute, she’s from Gryffindoor and…"
"WHAT! Did I hear you say Gryffindoor, never again speak of them, they are all mudbloods and unworthy to be wizards, is that clear Draco?"

"Yeas father"

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

No, I’m not like my father, I’m not a coward, but why am I so afraid then? 

I know I have to fight him, but what’s the use, everytime I do that I just get thrown into my room, he’ll never listen to me anyway, why do I have to fight?

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit

I don’t see any reason for standing up, The only reason that would be good enough is Hermione, but she doesn’t return my feelings so I have nothing to live for. There’s no use to struggle anymore, I don’t have anything anymore, I’m sick of feeling so left out, I tired of having to lie to everyone and to always agree with my dad, I don’t know how all this mess happened but I know one thing for sure, I’m tired of fighting, I’m giving up, I can’t take it anymore.

Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I’ve found my way out, yeah it’s the easy way out but do I have any other plausible options, no I guess I don’t, this is the only way, I’m going to lock the door and then perform the killing curse on myself, yes that’s what I’ll do, no one’ll miss me anyway.

I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

Yeah, that’s my final decision, I don’t want to be stuck in battles anymore, I want to get some rest… Let everyone know I killed myself if I do it I’ll never have to fight or to stand up to anybody, I’m going to be free... but I still have doubts, what if there’s another way?

A/N So, what do you think, please review and let me know.

Love, Girwhoisinlove

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