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'If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.'
- Doug Horton

Chapter 10: A Relatively Dignified Leave

I could not believe it. Why did fate hate me? Why? WHY DO YOU DESPISE ME SO?

I was on the edge of bursting into tears again. I slowly walked up the stairs, my body’s movements on autopilot. I cannot believe the fact that, the one thing I went to that wretched ball for – THE ONE DAMN THING I HAD GONE FOR – I had forgot to retrieve. Well, I was NOT going back! I was NOT going to give James Potter the sat –

I entered Marissa’s room and on my bed was a small, red, drawstring bag with a gold crest printed on its cover. The same crest that I had seen at James Potter’s house.

My breath caught in my throat and the tears that were threatening to fall did so as I rushed to the bag.

Could it be…?

I pulled back the golden sting and inside was…


I had died and gone to heaven. I sincerely almost fainted with joy. I was that happy.

Abruptly, I saw a flash of paper in between the folds of material. Slowly I picked it up and impending sense of doom settling around me.

Dear Lily, I read

Here’s your underwear. I suppose you would have been and gone to the ball right now, so there’s not much point in telling you this but anyway; you didn’t even need to come tonight. Because this was set to apparate at 6:30pm. The time when the ball started. So, if you didn’t come, you would’ve got your underwear back anyway.


James Potter

P.S Have a wonderful holiday.

I was numb. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak; all I could think was, I will KILL him, I will KILL him, I will KILL him…

I had suffered hours – no days! – of torture because of this ball! THEN THE DUMBASS TELLS ME I DIDN’T HAVE TO GO??

It was settled. When we went back for our seventh year, James Potter was going to die.

Plain and simple. It had to be done. And if I didn’t do it someone else would. As I said, it HAD TO BE DONE.

Ok, Lily, breathe, that’s good, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe… I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!

He is so going down. I will hire hit men if I had to. HE WAS GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY NERVES.

But more of that later…

I was going to my parent’s house.

With a quick flick of my wand my clothes neatly settled themselves into my trunk – perhaps the flick was a bit violent seeing as more that one piece of clothing set alight causing the fire alarm to go off and Marissa’s mother to come screeching up the stairs shouting my name; but with a quick spell the clothing was repaired and Mrs. Slughorn calmed down and went back down stairs a content look on her face.

I quietly thunked my trunk down the stairs, trying to avoid contact with Mrs. Slughorn. My plan was to catch the Knight Bus from Marissa’s house. I heard quiet voices conversing in the living room; I quickly recognized them as Marissa’s and Ella’s.

All the more reason to keep quiet.

I quietly reached for the door handle, almost bursting with pride (I made it!) when Mrs. Slughorn, followed by Marissa and Ella, bustled around the corner. Mrs. Slughorn ALMOST bypassed me on her way up the stairs; obviously looking for me (‘She was up their getting her things! She almost set fire to the house!’) but my traitorous trunk made her trip.

Damn trunk. When I get home you’re going to make a bonfire.

‘Lily dear! I was looking for you!’ she said, composing herself. But I barely heard her; I was busy having a stare off with Marissa to notice much. That was before…

‘Where on Earth do you think you’re going Lily?’ Ella exclaimed, throwing herself at me. This of course broke of the staring contest as I was almost knocked off my feet. I softly returned the hug.

‘I, uh, am not feeling too well, so I thought I’d go home early…’ Ella looked me in the eye and I knew she could tell I was lying. She sighed softly and let me go.

Mrs. Slughorn was appalled. ‘How on Earth will you get there, dear? Oh, I know! I will drive you! We’ll have a lov - !’

‘Oh, no, no, no, Mrs. Slughorn, don’t trouble yourself!’ I intercepted quickly. ‘I was planning on taking the Knight Bus.’

Marissa snorted. I snapped my attention to her with a cold stare. ‘What?’

She stared defiantly back. ‘Nothing.’

Marissa’s mum was back in full force. ‘The Knight Bus? What on earth – Oh the Knight Bus! Are you sure dear? I would happily drive you…’

‘Oh no, it’s fine, really, thank you for letting me stay!’ I gave Ella a swift hug. ‘Bye Ella,’ I sent a hostile glare in Marissa’s direction. ‘Bye.’ I muttered shortly.

‘Are you quite positive dear?’ Mrs. Slughorn said, opening the front door for me. I brushed past her, pretending I didn’t hear her, and walked up the garden path. When I reached the side path I stuck out my wand arm. Suddenly, an obnoxiously purple bus appeared in front of me, followed by the roar of an engine.

I almost fainted, it started me that much. I didn’t expect it to arrive so soon.

‘Bye Lily dear!’ shouted Mrs. Slughorn, her and Ella waving. Marissa had disappeared inside.

I waved cheerfully back, boarding the bus, dragging my trunk behind me.

‘Franz Austen, at your service ma’m. Where’d you like to go this fine evening?’ Franz had a dodgy accent and I was acutely aware of something my mother told me when I was little (‘Never accept rides from strangers!’).

‘67 Denenger Street, Bexley, please,’ I said.

Franz quickly calculated the cost in his head. ‘That’ll be six Sickles and… two Knuts please, deary.’

I handed over the money and walked up the bus, leaving Franz to pick up my trunk.

What? It was his job. Anyway, all he did was float it into its compartment above my bed.

I slumped on the bed, my head in my hands. It was only then I realized that I was still wearing my black, quiche covered, torn dress.

It had been a long night.

‘Franz,’ I said, still cradling my head. ‘Could you get this off me?’

Nod. Pause. ‘Scourgify! Repario!’ The stain was off.

‘Thank you.’

And I was left to plot the impending death of one James Potter.

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