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Chapter Three

When you’re down and lost
And you need a helping hand
When you’re down and lost along the way
Just tell yourself
‘Ah, I’ll be okay.’

Being an insomniac really wasn’t fun. She must have gotten back to her room at half past three-at least four hours after Emmeline had bid her goodnight. With all due respect, someone seriously was a stubborn soul.

Lily would not make do with responsibilities-such as the one she had by getting back to the Head Tower and into her bed. Somehow, at the moment, she felt the sudden need to stay put where she was. Even the loneliness was better than seeing Potter again. The stupid portrait door swung so loudly, no doubt would she wake him even if he were in bed. So that plan was out. And the idea of Lily not getting any sleep was in, right?

Well, actually, she eventually ended up in the Head Tower. She at least got that far, that is! Muttering and mumbling to herself on how much of an idiot she was being, letting people get to her like that (even though James Potter wasn’t just anybody), she walked towards the portrait of an oceanfront, with a very mystical mermaid (not like the kinds from the Hogwarts lake, I assure you) perched upon a boulder towards the end of the water.

When the mermaid first spotted her, the creature smiled, leaning closer to the frame. She always did enjoy small talk with the Head Girl. But Lily wasn’t in the mood to talk. She wanted to get her nerves over with, and inside-she was tired, believe it or not.

“Hello, Vivicia,” she greeted the beauty icon, inclining her head politely. Just because she was exhausted, didn’t mean she could forget her manners. No, that would take plentiful amounts of alcohol for that to happen to her. “Tweedle-dee,” Lily said right after the mermaid smiled at her, and got her to open the portrait door for her.

Good; the sooner, the better.

“Have a good night, Lily,” Vivicia told her as she strode past her, and on inside. That was funny, Lily had to muse; it sounded as if the mermaid knew something she didn’t. What could possibly … ?

She didn’t need to brainstorm further, for a sudden speculation hit her. The fireplace wasn’t lit. And the lamps were dim enough for someone to fall. Just why they were like that, Lily didn’t need to wait to figure it out.

As if on cue, a noise (that sounded oddly like a moan) came out from nowhere, earning Lily to pinpoint exactly where the place was. Glancing towards the couch immediately, which also happened to be directly in the center of the room, she deliberately had to raise a hand to muffle her fingers against her mouth so that she would be able to stay remotely silent.

Shuffling her feet as quietly as she could, she bent down low, and was in a heap on the floor before she had the chance to count to three. Eyes wide, Lily Evans could oddly resemble a mouse, ready to run and hide. But she wasn’t just about to that. Instead, she was going to try and pass the couple laid down on the couch … doing the impossible (that Lily knew all too well about Potter’s reputation). And it wasn’t a first.

She was going to hurt Marlene for choosing to invade her quarters. The one only the Head Boy and Girl could use. It wasn’t up to use for … girlfriends. However Lily looked at it, she could feel her blood boiling with anger and her stomach churning incredulously. But only the latter reaction was aimed towards the boy. Now, the rage, she could advance upon someone she once considered her best friend. (Didn’t she still?)

She was the one who was having fantastical thoughts about a boy who was currently taken by their mate. So point in all, it was Lily doing the wrong-right?

The mere thought was making her head spin. Still on her hands and knees, she did her best with avoiding the show both Gryffindors were putting on. Lily started towards the hallway across the room, the one in which held both Head students’ rooms. She desperately needed to get out of here, you see.

Still in mid-crawl though, her best mate just had to let go of another moan, didn’t she? Cringing, Lily clamped her eyes shut-but they popped right on open against her will, and flicked over to the couple corrupting her thoughts.

Why, she didn’t even think it was possible to stay on a couch so long … in a position like … that. Lily grimaced inwardly, flushing at her crude behavior. Exactly what she was doing, spying on her mate’s making out habits, just wasn’t like her. Even if she pinned on the stunt labeled as watching the boy do his moves, it would have to mean she felt something for that insufferable Potter-when she just didn’t!

That was it. She’d had it. Immediately rushing to the hallway (still on all four, might I add), she didn’t give herself the exception in looking towards either of her classmates, knowing just what would be waiting for her if she did. Biting her lip to prolong the sigh of exasperation, the Head Girl finally did make it to the end of the room.

And that’s when she finally realized she couldn’t go any further. She was hooked to the spot, craning her neck to the side slightly. From where she was perched on the carpeted floor, she had the utmost impeccable view of what Marlene and her boyfriend were up to. The emotions invading her body and mind weren’t what were expected though. She didn’t feel ashamed like she should have. Or even alarmed.

She just felt … Lily couldn’t even identify the feeling.

Those hands that were rumored to work magic were placed right upon Marlene’s waist, as if they belonged there. In the end, she finally decided that maybe they could work after all, and that she was too stubborn (and blind) to see it happening.

Damn you, Lily, she thought, you realize this now!?

She tried to force herself to move. Even an inch. Anything would be better than sitting clad in the middle of the hallway, making it as obvious as can be she was watching a snog session … like that. Cringing in shame, Lily stole a sharp intake of breath. Even though it wasn’t audible to her own ears, that didn’t matter for she thought she saw James eyes flick open. (Perhaps she was focusing on him far too much than her own good.)

Gasping inwardly, the Head Girl threw her hazardous feelings away for the time being, and shifted weight from her feet to her hands. Leaning forward, she made it to her bedroom door in mere seconds. Without even a hesitant look back, Lily pushed the door open as quietly as she could when on her knees, and scrambled inside with heaved breaths.

For a second there, whilst shutting the door, she had been so sure she’d been caught. And if she had-then where was Potter’s laugh?


This wasn’t new to him, not at all. He was quite used to a girl’s feelings (and their bodies) by now. So you could only imagine how expected it was for that moan to escape through those pouted lips, bruised on account of his feverish kisses. He grinned inwardly, relishing the chants she whispered under her breath, right next to his ear.

She knew what she was doing as well, he had to give her that. What with straddling his middle and resting her head so close to his neck, he could hear her intakes and exhales of breath. It was like a lullaby, putting him to rest. Thoroughly relaxed though, he wanted to get right to business. He had her right where he wanted her, and he wasn’t going to let her get away.

“Oh,” she murmured her surprise softly, as to him grabbing her waist in one swift, almost invisible, stroke of movement.

Soon that grin of his was morphing into a smirk. Carefully, he caressed the bit of exposed skin, right under her blouse. He didn’t need to look up and see the smile resting on her lips, and her sighs were enough encouragement.

“Don-don’t stop, James,” she gasped, now leaning backwards, as if that would get her glued directly to his hand. So he wouldn’t be able to stop.

Biting his lip to provoke himself from melting away just by her voice, he knew this was going to be over very quickly. Nonetheless, he wasn’t going to scare her away. She had many pretenses, and several moments did just enough to frighten a girl like her away-or just anger.

He could still taste her, from her lips, but it was slowly leaving his mouth. Disappointed, he arched his back, inwardly gaining a muffled part of her confused state, later replaced with a slight chuckle of approval. She worked wonders with her mouth, and a kiss was just enough to release all the stress he’d had bottled up … for what seemed like ages. However, he could only hold her close, ravaging her mouth thoroughly. After all, those bruised lips of hers did suit her. He liked her marked-to show who she belonged to.

More or less, it felt like he belonged to her.

Once he eventually let go of her lips, only because of the severe need of oxygen, he set out to search the rest of her body-with his hands. Man’s best tool, as it was, he allowed himself a slight test of touch to her legs, earning another whimper on her behalf. Merlin, if she didn’t stop, James wasn’t sure he would even make it to the next level.

“Don’t move,” he instructed, his voice husky with desire and utmost deprivation. “Don’t.”

She, more or less, understood his words, although her body couldn’t stop. She wanted this just as much as he did. And neither of them were ready to let go.

He chuckled though; he had to give her that much. Still toying with the blouse, he just about had gotten it off, when he heard her own laugh. Then it was like she was slipping right through his fingers.

Alarmed, his eyes widened, but her vision was getting even hazier. He couldn’t control it.

“Wait-hold still,” he muttered, his eyes roaming as far as they would allow, but he couldn’t see her anymore. “Lily-don’t-!”


He shook awake immediately. Automatically sitting up and trying to focus on his surroundings, he only too soon realized he was in his room, and the girl of his dreams being there was only just that-a dream. A fantasy, if you will.

Groaning, he’d been so sure it was her. She’d felt so real this time-unlike all his dreams combined. Damnit.


He started. What the he-

“James, are you in there?” the voice said again-and he instantly identified it to the beholder.


Groaning slightly as he jumped out of the bed, completely caught off-guard, the Head Boy hence made his way out of his bedroom and into the Common Room. With a Head Tower like this, he probably wouldn’t go back to the Gryffindor one! Privacy, quiet, and a better chance at spending time with the infamous Head Girl-what more could he ask for?

“Hello?” Marlene trailed off, sounding just about impatient.

“Yes, yes-I’m here. Coming!” James announced, picking up the pace in order to reach the portrait hole faster.

What a perfectly nice fantasy-wasted. Oh, yes, by his girlfriend, at that. That he really must not forget. He almost had.

He heaved the door open, pulling as quickly as he could with reflexes. He hadn’t even made sure he was composed before he had exposed himself to the fellow Gryffindor. Hell, he barely knew what time it was; it could have been half past midnight for all he thought. (It was even later.)

“Hi!” Marlene exclaimed, grinning and walking right on in-and past the Head Boy in one swift move. Lifting his hand slightly, as if a wave, James’ eyes followed the girl’s beats into the hallway, and leading herself straight into the Common Room. It amazed him how well she knew the place-almost better than him. And what, had she not only visited once before … with Lily? Huh.

“I hope I didn’t wake you,” she went on, looking back over her should to try and catch James’ gaze. He nodded, as if to appreciate her sudden consideration. But he managed a tight grin, trying his best not to growl the inconvenience she’d made by opening her very mouth.

Following her cautiously, James murmured, “No, no-I was just about … to take a bath … I was just daydreaming-” about your best friend, “-when you knocked. Sorry about that,” he said, pulling a face of apology. It seemed to be enough to steady Marlene, who all too quickly sighed in satisfaction and smiled … as if she was hiding something-a secret. Or something.

James didn’t get far enough to ask; he’d only just arched a brow when-before he knew it-he was clutched by the arm, and was kissing one of the very attractive girls in the school. Who was also now known as a better part to it-his very own girlfriend.

He applied some pressure to her lips, knowing this sort of territory intimately well. He didn’t allow an ounce of complaint on her part, and soon he’d had her walking backwards-towards the couch. For a moment she released her hold on his arms, the second he’d heaved her down on the sofa, knowing the cushions were just the comfort he (and she) needed.

Her objection wasn’t for too long, and she was smiling against his lips the moment he could find his way to her again. Gripping her waist as he situated her carefully on the couch, into a much more eased position, James allowed his other hand to curl into her brown locks, momentarily savoring the feel.

As he did so, as he worked his magic on the girl before him, another girl seemed to take control of his brain. Completely different from his girlfriend, this girl’s hair was brighter, and of a red shade-one in which he always imagined to feel like silk. Marlene’s was soft … but not even close to silk.

The sudden upturn of appearance made James groan, and he opened his eyes briefly to memorize the girl in his arms-instead of visualizing the girl in his mind. Only, thank Merlin she didn’t recognize his shifting to be negative at all. Sure it was because of discomfort, albeit he was sure she believed it to be … about another reason in particular.

Oh, he was driving himself insane. He’d already earned himself a hard-on thinking about one girl-whilst another girl was already feeling him up, not leaving him with any free time to compose the new thoughts (and feelings).

Stop thinking about Evans, he told himself silently, which also motivated him to put some more force into his expertise. Smirking slightly against her lips when he heard her moan, that’s when he couldn’t help himself. Sure, he’d admired her so many times before-but now, he had her.

“You’re-really-good,” she said in between breaths, reaching up slightly, and arching her back to find a better angle for their locked-lips. Marlene didn’t seem to be fazed about her surroundings-more or less if anyone walked in. Which is probably why Lily happened to sneak right on in … unnoticed and invisible.

James grinned, having his ego be boost every once in a while was helpful. No doubt did he need it. Her very words encouraged him further, and he found himself forgetting about the dream girl from previously, and clouding his mind with visions of Marlene McKinnon instead. But that was … right-right? She was his girlfriend-while Evans was … nothing. She is nothing, James thought. Marlene is for you, he silently contemplated, inclining his head and moved closer to her simultaneously. She seemed to be enjoying it-and pulled him closer by the neck-which had him just about straddling her. Yet, it Marlene was bothered by it-she sure didn’t show it.

Opening his eyes for a moment, as if to make a memory of what was happening. And to also remind himself just who he was snogging with. This isn’t the Head Girl-she’s your girlfriend-bloody hell. He suddenly felt like there was an animal inside him that needed to escape. Then Marlene just had to tug at his shirt, signifying her impatience.

This wasn’t as quick as he usually was-still, his mind was spinning. He was almost in a trance as he leaned back slightly, to allow her a better view when she finally was able to take the shirt off of him. Needless to say, he almost lost balance as he flicked his gaze on up, only to check the time-and instead found himself glancing longingly towards the hallway.

There was nothing there now, he mused, raising his brows to the ceiling. But a moment ago, he would have died on the spot-for he thought he saw a random flicker of red against the dull white wall. Then he realized, he was awake. He’d been dreaming again for a second there.

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