A/N: This is my first story. But I think you'll enjoy it. I tried my best. And I'm an avid reader. So any relations you find in my story to yours, are purely accidental and only means that you inspire me. (in other words, please don't hurt me.)
Now sit back. And relax. And don't you dare touch that dial! (that is if you had a dial) & Please, please review! It will only take a second!

Disclamer: This is an AU, so if the characters don't always act like themselves, tis because I changed them. Also I have ignored some of the story line of both the 5th and 6th books and most likely the whole of the 7th...as I, like you, can only wait patiently for it.

Chapter 1: Pretending you're funny

Alexandra sat at the kitchen table staring down at her cereal bowl. It wasn’t early, but she was tired, as she had just woken up. Technically speaking, she wasn’t allowed to sleep in till 11 but her father couldn’t control her any more than anyone else. And no one could control her.

If you were going to blame someone for that issue you could point to her father who had taught her almost everything he knew. See to him, it was bad enough she was half-blood, there was no way he was going to let her act like it.

Even though her father was half-blood himself, he refused to admit to it. See, Alexandra’s father’s name was Severus Snape and he could absolutely not have weak offspring, as she was reminded almost too often. Her father had always put a lot of pressure on her, but she found most everything he taught her useful. Aside from Transfiguration, occlumency was her favorite thing to enforce, using it since she was a kid. He would ask her questions like ‘Have you brushed your teeth.’ And when she would say yes and he didn’t believe her, he’d use legilimency to find the truth, but Alexandra would always force thoughts such as: ‘At least my teeth aren’t as yellow as yours’ into her head.

But of course that always made him angry, but even though he had one of the shortest tempers in the world, he would never hurt her, never lash out. Alexandra was his little girl, above ALL.

But this year would be different and she was looking forward to that. For this year, she was turning 16, on October 15 and after years and years of constant begging to be allowed to leave her house and attend Hogwarts, her father had finally caved in.

And today was the day. Today Alexandra would be heading to Hogwarts and she was, well, excited to say the least. Most students would be reaching the school by train, but Alexandra (at her father’s request) was going with him by Floo Powder.

“Al-ex-andra!!!” Snape yelled into the kitchen.

“Whaaat?” Alex yelled back.

Snape entered the kitchen looking very harassed. For some reason she was bemused by this fact. She loved getting the best of people.

“Alex, I told you we had to leave at 11. It’s now 11:15 and you still aren’t even dressed. I’m lucky Dumbledore let me take you by floo powder, let’s not test his willingness by being late!”

Alex looked at her father for a minute considering whether or not she could ignore his request. Coming to the conclusion that she best not, to her dismay, she pushed her bowl of cereal away and got up and apparated to her room. “Alex! I told you not to!” Alex could hear her dad screaming from the kitchen. She smiled to herself as one of her favorite pastimes was apparating illegally. Something she had taught herself, from a book in her dad’s library, which really proved rather easy.

After quickly putting on fresh robes and stuffing her deep black owl, Placida, into her cage, rather ungracefully, she grabbed her school trunk and the cage and headed down the stairs. She found her father pacing in front of the fire looking most annoyed.

“Okay, dad, let’s go, shall we?” Alex said in her sweetest, most innocent tone she could possibly muster. Snape looked at his daughter with a stern look, that softened, almost too quickly.

“Yes, we shall. Now you first Alex.” He said shoving a bowl full of green powder at her. She grabbed her fistful of the powder after grabbing her suitcase in her other arm.

“I’ll take Placida.” Snape said, realizing that it was not humanly possible that his daughter could carry the cage as well her suitcase.

Alex nodded to show she understood.

“Hogwarts Dungeons.” She said clearly after the flames turned green.

Before she knew it she was at Hogwarts and it was the most beautiful thing, she decided, she had ever seen. Much better than Spinner’s End. She’d seen pictures in books and heard her father speak of it, but the first hand view was like nothing else and this was just the dungeons. Imagine the rest of the school! After a few short moments her father came stumbling out of the fire as well.

“Alright, well I’ll make sure your trunk gets to your dorm after you get sorted, although I would almost bet my life on Slytherin, in the meantime let’s go to my office. I have a few minor tasks I want to take care of.”

Alex looked at her father with an expression of pure bewilderment. She wasn’t hearing half of what he was saying. She just wanted to see. See Hogwarts. Finally, see Hogwarts. “Err…alright.”

Snape looked down at his daughter in shock.

“No argument?!?” Snape paused, “None?” He had a blank look on his face which faded to a small smile. “Good heavens, my daughter, speechless?!? Now, that my dear, is a first.”

Alex snapped out of the spell the castle seemed to cast on her and looked at her dad. He was trying to be funny again.

“Dad, you really shouldn’t.” Alex smiled looking up at him.

“Shouldn’t what, exactly?”

“Pretend you’re funny.”

Alex smiled wider in clear deviousness and all her father could do was roll his eyes.

A/N: Please, review after you are finished reading. It will only take a second and I would greatly appreciate feedback. Since, after all, this is my first HPFF!

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