Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm sure anyone who actually reads my disclaimers are really, super duper surprised by this statement. Yes. I'm sure.

A very frustrated author's note: Hi. I'm frustated. Very frustated, as was already said in the title of this note. While you read this chapter, remember the fact that the author is very clumsy and accidently deleted the chapter twice. Yes. I have deleted this chapter twice already. This is my third try. I swear I will throw my laptop down to the floor if I delete it again. . .well, I won't swear to it since I doubt very highly I could ever throw my laptop down, since, you know, I really don't have any back-up laptops just lieing around. Maybe I'll just stick to weeping my heart out of if the chapter's deleted again. Yeah, that sounds better.

Please forgive James if he seems entirely too angry and moody this chapter, it is just because the author is entirely too angry and moody.

I had some other stuff written down in this note in previous versions of this chapter, but right now, I am just too totally frustrated to type them out. Here's the third typed out version of chapter nine.


Chapter Nine


- Christmas Smells, Christmas Smells

Smells all the way

Oh, how lame it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh-

"Hey, er, I'll fix the candy canes." I suggested to the fifth year prefect who was frantically trying to shut the candy canes and their lovely version of Jingle Bells, up.

The prefect looked hestitant. "Are you sure? I'm certain I can fix them-"

"No, for the love of God, no!- I mean, just go ask Lily for something else to do. I'm sure she'll find something."

Honestly. I don't know what was up with the prefects today, maybe it was getting up at the crack of dawn or pre-ball jitters, but they just totally suck when it comes to magic today. This morning has been so fun. Not.

Because this morning has been so not fun, I now hate Christmas. I hate Christmas trees too. I also hate mistletoes too. And that chubby bloke who supposed goes down muggle chimneys. I hate anything that has to do with Christmas. Like red. And green. And the letters C, H, R, I, S, T, M, A, S. Do you know what else I hate right now? Those lame, one-horse open sleighs-


Excuse me. I am a bit stressed.

Just a bit.


I've only been up since five this morning being tackled by Christmas trees, strangled by ropes of tinsel, pelted by a bunch of annoying mistletoes, oh, and punched in the nose by a ice sculpture.

I wouldn't be surprised if I died today. That would be very embarrassing though. I mean, dieing at the hands of a Christmas tree? Or should I say branches? Whatever. Doesn't matter. I think if anyone is going to the lengths of dieing, they should at least die heroically or something. You know, saving someone from a raging fire or. . .you know.

Although, I have to admit, dieing doesn't seem like a bad idea today (as long as it's heroically), considering the stress I'm under right now. First, there's this whole stupid ball. Why didn't we decided to have a trip to Diagon Alley or something as the special activity Heads are suppose to plan instead? Balls are always way overrated anyways. They have stale food, bad dancers, and usually lame music. Of course, this ball will be fairly good, I suppose. Lily's worked very hard for it to be (I have too, but well, I think Lily's the one who should be credited, not me).

The house elves are making the food (of course) so, the food won't be stale, it'll be awesome (of course). I can't say the ball won't have bad dancers. I chose the music, which is a band, so nothing to worry about there.

On to the next reason I'm stressed out. There are less than twenty-four hours until midnight. Which means I have less than twenty-four hours to ask Lily to Hogsmeade. Which means I have less than twenty-four hours before the bet is up. There you go.

I've been trying to subtly get Lily to tell me if her and Ravendrew are an item, but no such luck. She really doesn't have much to say. She never really does have much to say, but that's not the point. The point is-. . .oh, good grief. I've forgot what the stupid point was.

I turned my attention back to the candy canes and just after stunning them, ducked. A flock of popcorn whizzed by my head. The same popcorn that was suppose to be on string and decorating a Christmas tree right about now. A sixth year prefect ran past me promptly after the popcorn.

"Come back here, you blast popcorn!"


If it wasn't for Lily and me, Hogwarts would surely be overrun with vicious Christmas decorations right about now. If the professors, you know, join in and help us decorate the Great Hall for tonight, we really wouldn't have any problems. But, no, they want us to do this on our own, for whatever lame reason they have.

Oh, joy. Someone just set lose a peppermint that bites.


"Lily!" I exclaimed, dropping a chair that had somehow (only Merlin knows) been charmed to walk around knocking people from behind so they'd fall into its seat. A few feet away, Lily had just been tackled by rather large Christmas tree.

I hastily pushed through the crowd of prefects that began to surround Lily and the tree from a safe distance. "Oy, move, you lot, move!" I called. Were they deaf today? "Hey, is that a snake?" I asked in fake wonder. That certain lie got people to move. Maybe they weren't as deaf as I thought.

As soon as I got to the front of the crowd, I stunned the overgrown prune ontop of Lily, who was rather hard to see at all considering the tree looked to be twice her size. Me and a couple of others moved in to push the tree off her. This whole tree tackling thing was beganing to become very normal to all of us. Merlin knows how many people have been tackled by the annoying oafs today.

After the tree had been moved off of her, Lily stood up and grabbed her wand, not looking too shaken or startled even though she had just been tackled by a tree. But, as I already said, being tackled was becoming normal for all of us.

"Thanks." She said simply. We (who helped moved the tree off of her) said our "your welcome" 's as the crowd began to thin out.

Just as I began to head back to the bloody walking chair (which, wasn't were I had left it, it had obviously walked off to find some victim to knock back into its seat), I was stopped. No.

I was tackled. By a tree. Again. For the fourth time today. This was getting a bit tiring.

Guess who my not-so-mysterious tackler was?

No, it wasn't Merlin or Dumbledore saying what a smashing wizard I was and did I want my face plastered all over those chocolate frog wizard cards?

Nor was Sirius coming to say that he was ending the bet now and was going to give me my broom and chocolate for the bet anyways.

Nor was it the quidditch captain of the Puddlemere United quidditch team saying what a smashing quidditch player I was and did I want to join the team as soon as I graduated from Hogwarts?

Nor was it Lily saying she'd love to go to Hogsmeade with me.

No. It was the same Christmas tree that had tackled Lily.

To anyone out there who hasn't been tackled by a Christmas tree- or any tree, really- than, I'll tell you right now that it's dark. The only thing you can see is the outline of the trees branches. It's also prickly. And a bit painful with the branches bashing you everywhere, especially in the eye and nose. It smells pine fresh, though.

I doubt anyone would want to be tackled by a tree, but who knows. Maybe I'm wrong (which isn't very often). Maybe some people do like getting tackled by trees. Some extremely disturbed people.

Anyways, since I'm not an extremely disturbed person, I did what I had done with the other three trees who had tackled me. I punched and kicked it. I swear I had the stupid bugger in a headlock once. If it had a head, that is.

Finally, after a few minutes, someone had apparently stunned it and people were now pushing the tree aside so I could get up.

I wish my Heads letter had mentioned being attacked by murderous Christmas decorations, part of the job. I would have resigned before even stepping foot on the Hogwarts Express.



"What?" I asked irritably as I fixed my hair. Ahhh. Good. A nice hand-run-through-the-hair and it's perfectly windswept. Just the way I, along with everyone else, like it.

"Your shirts on backward."

Oh. Huh.

No wonder I felt funny trying to button the buttons from behind me. That took a while. But, really, it's not my fault if I was distracted. It's 9:00 (PM) and there's less than five hours before the bets up and I still haven't asked Lily to Hogsmeade.

"Are you alright, James?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I asked, sliding my arms out of the sleeves and twisting the shirt around to it's proper position.

"Well, I don't know. It's just that you seem a bit distracted. You just button your shirt on backwards and didn't even notice and you put your shoes on in the shower a while ago. Oh, and you put Peter's pants on and had them on until he mentioned he couldn't find his."

Bugger. So maybe I was a bit too distracted right now. Too distracted to be healthy. Do you know that I've been so distracted lately, trying to ask Lily Evans to Hogsmeade and all, that I completely forgot to get a date for the ball?

Yay. Woo hoo. It's so fun being me.


Where is she?

The ball's about to start and she isn't here yet. Lily, I mean.

All of the prefects and Heads had to start the first dance of the night with their dates. And, lucky me, I didn't have a date. So, I decided to ask Lily to dance with me. I mean, we're both Heads and it's not as though arse-faced Ravendrew has to dance the first dance since he's not even a prefect (why would he be a prefect, anyways?).

If I could only find her. Lily, I mean.

That's what I was trying to do as I stood amongst the large crowd standing outside the Great Hall, waiting for the ball to start. Just as I began craning my neck over the tops of people's heads, someone bumped into me.

"Oh, hey, James."

I vaguely remembered the someone as a Ravenclaw in my charms class. "Hey." I said distractedly, still searching for Lily.

He didn't seem to noticed though. Oblivious git. Just like the rest of those Ravenclaw's. Lily's perfect Andrew is a perfect example. Even though I haven't met him before, I'm sure he's an oblivious git too. That's just the way those Ravenclaw's are. "Aren't you suppose to be with your date?" He askes.

Rub it in, why don't you.

"I didn't have time to get a date." I replied, somewhat truthfully, through gritted teeth.

He didn't seem to notice that either,"Oh. Huh. Who're you going to dance the first dance with then?"

"I was going to ask Lily."

"But, doesn't she already have a date?"

Why don't you rub in everything that's gone wrong lately in my life? OH. . .Wait. You already have. Just about, anyways.

"Yes. But, he's not a prefect, so he doesn't have to dance the first dance of the night." More gritting of the teeth.

He really must be oblivious to everything around him, though. "Oh. Huh. Why aren't you with Lily then?"

"Because I can't find her."

"You can't find her?" He repeated.

Well. He's succeeded. He's rubbed in everything that's gone wrong in my life lately. So far, anyways.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I said. "Listen, I've got to go find her. See you."

"Okay, see you later, mate!" The thick git called as I walk hastily off.

The day I become his "mate" is the day I have died and gone to James Potter heaven. Of course, considering how things have been going recently, that might just be happening very soon. So, maybe I should think of something else to say. The day I become his "mate" is the day I have- Nevermind. I'll just say it will never happen.


Where is she?

"How do you like my dress robes, James?" Sarah asked me a few minutes later, no Linda twins in sight. Huh. That's a bit weird.

Her dress robes were nice. Very nice. I won't go into detail and describe them because I am not a girl. I am a boy. Man. Men do not go around describing clothes. Maybe some do, but I do not. I couldn't describe clothes if my life depended on it, anyways. Well, I suppose I can say that they (the dress robes, I mean) are red. There. That might give you some insight.

"Huh?- Oh. They're very nice, Sarah." I complimented vaguely.

"Thanks. Howard thinks they are too, don't you, Howard?" Sarah asked cheerfully as she patted the arm of a bloke that was standing next to her (I'm presuming that's her date). Howard grunt a "yeah".

"Hey, you're on the Hufflepuff quidditch team, aren't you?" I asked, recognizing him.

Howard moodily grunted another "yeah". Wow. I definitely know why Sarah agreed to go to the ball with him. He has such a charming personality.

As the two began to walk off, I called out to Sarah,"Hey, Sarah? You haven't seen Lily in your dormitory, have you?"

Sarah stopped and turned slightly and stated somewhat vaguely herself,"Yeah, she was still in the dorm when I left, actually." Then they left.


Lily stayed in her dorm longer than Sarah did (which is really saying something)! Lily never has striked me as a girl who spends a gazillion hours in her dorm getting ready for some ball. She doesn't strike me the girl to spend a gazillion hours in her dorm getting ready for anything, actually.


Where, in gillywig heaven, is Lily?


Author's Note: Good God. I've never been so glad to finish a chapter. -laughs somewhat sheepishly- I feel fairly pleased with chapter, although, to me, it seems James might be a bit off character. He seems more moody to me. Maybe that's just because I'm not in the best of moods right now. Oh, well, I'm just happy to get the chapter finished. . .again.

Just Another Harry Potter Fan

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