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Chapter 20: Wait…Siriusly?

(A/N- alright, don’t get your hopes up, this isn’t the BIG chapter you all expect, HOWEVER….i’m almost positive it will be the next. And because it is vacation I have all the time in the world! Yeah! You should like this chapter, it begins a little slowly, but you know how lily usually is stubborn to admit her feelings? Well……

Dear Red Dragon,

It’s hard where to begin as I start this sentence

Lily scrunched her nose in disgust and hastily continued to scratch that last sentence. She thought for a moment, before putting her quill back and began again….

Dear Red Dragon,

There’s something really strange I’d like to tell that happened recently

She sighed, resting her quill once more, in thought. Her teeth gently nibbled the tip of the quill and her head swam in a whirl of confusion. She had no idea where to being.

Dear Red Dragon,

I don’t know where even to begin when I start to tell you about my day.

Lily smiled to myself, relieved to have at least squeezed out one sentence. She put her quill to the parchment, scratching, though slowly, more words.

… You see your friend, James, well I went to Hogsmead with him today and everything was going fine until he told some ridiculous thing. He said that he was you! Well, I mean he was Red Dragon that is, which is obviously up surd so I had to tell you. Why would he saw something like that anyway? He even said that he would prove it to me by never sending letters in reply, assuming he is who he thinks he is. I’m sure that in reality he will simply be intercepting these letters so you don’t get them. And I pray that you do. But there was one thing that did bother me, he knew about Julia. You said yourself in your letters that you had never told anyone but me. So either James is who he says he is or you’re lying. Which is it? I don’t know I’m really confused now, because I don’t think you’re James, all I need to hear is that you’re not and I’m fine. But things between me and him are strange now. I think I almost became friends with him, now I’m just….i don’t know what. Well that’s all I wanted to say really. Just, please reply. Please.

-Your friend, Icy Flame


The gray ceiling loomed with long shadows, James’ eyes fluttered as he lay on his back side in his four poster bed, sleep lay behind the outskirts of his eyes, sprinkling dust into his lids. He wasn’t tired though, he had just been lying there for hours that he had nothing better to do than sleep. That wasn’t until he heard a small tapping at his window.

A small brown owl tumbled through his window as he slid open the door to winter’s cold hands. The small fluffy bird proudly held out it’s leg, ready to be received by the usual pat on the head and praise. But James just tugged off the letter and threw it into his trunk, sending the owl nothing but bitter mumblings of being disturbed. The owl hooted disapprovingly and floated on back outside, tumbling through the air like a brown snowflake.

With out so much as a thought toward that letter, James threw himself back under his covers, closed his eyes, and waited for sleep to replace the empty feeling in his heart where disappointment and sadness harbored.


The next two weeks passed by much the same, holiday had ended, students returned to school, rejuvenated by their happy trips. But not Lily or James, James was more happy than ever for school to return, he wouldn’t be alone any longer with his friends returning. And Lily waited anxiously for another school assignment to fill her thoughts once more, so maybe she could drown out all the sorrowful ones that had occupied her the whole vacation.

By the third week Lily felt like her hand was ready to fall off from all the writing she was doing. It seemed the longer he didn’t reply, the more letters she wrote. And while she wrote letters to her pen pal friend, she had almost completely cut herself off from James who she now hadn’t talked to for weeks. It seemed as though that winter might last forever, a feeling Lily grew accustomed to day by day.

It was Wednesday now; lily was growing more tired and more tired by every second. She was tired of never getting an answer, tired of never getting proper rest at night anymore and she was tired of being tired.

Lily looked drearily down at the blank piece of parchment and a long sigh emptied form her lungs. She hardly believed her pen pal would receive or read the letter. By now she was simply filling up the page, she didn’t even care what she wrote, she just wanted a response. So she put her quill to the paper and began writing, a new feeling of anger and sadness welling up like a bubble in her chest. She couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe she should just spill out the truth, it didn’t matter, because he wouldn’t even read it. And that’s what she did. She spilled out the truth, the whole thing, because It. Didn’t. Matter.


Dear Red Dragon,

Obviously byknow I think either you really are James or he really is intercepting these letters. It doesn’t really matter though does it? Cause no one is reading these stupid letters anyways, huh? Well fine then.
I feel so alone these days, I’ve had no one to talk to. Sure, there are my other friends but telling them what I’m about to tell you would make no sense. I think, well I mean, it’s not just that I won’t get any response from you. I also haven’t talked to James in a very long time, and I guess I didn’t realize it until now but, he’s the one person I talk to the most. This year we’ve gotten to be such good friends and losing him was like losing my best friend. But it gets worse. Yes, my friend worse, because you see…..
I think…..that I….. like….James Potter.
Crazy I know! Usually he’s a jerk and a prat but something I think has changed. I don’t know anymore, nothing makes sense. I like you a lot, but I like James. Why is life so unfair and cruel! Well that’s all, I’ve nothing more to say to you.

Yours- Icy Flame

The soft glow of firelight flickered on the parchment. Lily blinked her soft red lashes, starring vaguely at the finished letter. Her quill was still tightly gripped in her hand and the ink on the parchment still wet, but her fingers were numb and they wouldn’t dare touch the envelope to send it. She almost thought of sending it, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to risk it. Risk spilling the truth.

Why shouldn’t I send it? Lily thought sternly, I mean if I really am so sure that this couldn’t be James, then what’s stopping me?

But her heart sped up when she looked at her fluffy brown owl, watching her with heavy eyes glued to her, waiting to be sent on one more delivery. She bit her lip hard, the painful pressure of teeth easing her worried mind with the distraction of pain. Numbly she folded the letter over and over again and stood blankly starring at the crackling fire of the common room.

She crouched down, starring hypnotically into those burning flames and was just about to let the flames engulf the paper when the portrait hole opened.

Sirius was in a frazzled mood when he entered. His long raven locks hung dead by his side, limp and lifeless as they brushed his slumped shoulders. The ashen skin plastered to his face bored deep shadows, and his heavy brows were darkened by his somber expression. It could have been the first time Lily had seen him with out his infamous smirk. It looked almost unnatural for Sirius to frown, those thin lips curved down at an awkward angle. She couldn’t imagine what could make him act this way. Lily always knew he was cynical but he was never actually sad.

Rising from her squatted position, Lily turned a questioning face to him but all she received was a menacing glare.

“What’s wrong?”

Sirius collapsed on the couch, a sigh heaved out of his chest as he stared at her. “Why did you do that?” His eyes seemed confused, lost as he gaped at her for some answer.

Lily blinked for a moment, the question making her frown, “do what?”

“Do that to James!” He sputtered out quickly as though it were the most obvious thing.

Lily wanted to cry at that moment, after hearing his response. Instead-she did something quite different—

She laughed.

Siriuis’ brows furrowed deeply together and his grey eyes widened in anger, “How the bloody hell do you find this funny!”

Lily’s eyebrows were angled upward as though tears might spring from her eyes, and they did. Tears were rolling down her cheeks….well tears of mirth as she laughed harder.

“I usually enjoy torching James but now for the first time I feel so bad because it isn’t funny at all that it IS funny!” she said through cracks of laughter.

Her laughs were turning into sobs now, no tears emitting from her eyes, but deep pools of sadness welled in her eyes. She plummeted down beside Sirius on the couch, her laughter having stopped completely and a look of lost hope subtly folded in her delicate features. The “letter” was still in her hands, clenched desperately to the crumpled parchment as she threw her hands in the air with exasperation.

“I don’t know I guess—“

“What’s that?”

Sirius’ eye had cast down on the crumpled thing, curled up in her clammy hands. Seeing his curious look directed toward it, Lily’s hand automatically pulled it toward her chest, hiding it from sight, repeating in reflex, “nothing”

But before she could anything else, Sirius’ hand had snatched it from her pried fingers, and his careful talent for nicking items from stores (and Mr. Filches office) now came in handy. Before she knew it, the paper’s worn hide had laid itself in front on Sirius, with his eyes poured over the page.

“This certainly doesn’t look like nothing” Sirius mumbled lowly, rising from his seat to pace.

“Give me that!” Lily snapped, standing impatiently, sending a flailing arm at the letter.

Sirius sidestepped her easily, as he continued to read, an easy smile over his handsome face as he realized the value of this paper.

Not too long, Lily was chasing him around the room, a full broad smile on his face as he read, slowly though, because reading while you were trying to flee from the piercing talons of a teenage girl wasn’t so easy. Lily was becoming frantic now, she knew that if Sirius had gotten a hold of it, she could have just saved time by delivering the letter herself to James.

It seemed Lily had nearly given up when Sirius had stopped in mid chase. A dumb look was plastered to his face, his dark eyes goggling wide-eyed over it and his mouth hung like he’d forgotten the technique for closing it.

“AHA!” Lily declared triumphantly, it’s contents now finally in her grasp, though apparently too late. Sirius looked up with incredulity twinkling in his eyes.

“You can’t be serious!”

“Of course not, YOU’RE Sirius” she replied lamely, if only to hide her embarrassment.

“you….? And …..James!” Sirius coughed out dramatically, then preceding to drop to his knees and hold his hands in prayer, while repeating his holy mantra, “Don’t let me die!” with choruses of “It’s the end of the world! The apocalypse! We’re all going to die!”

Lily felt her joints freeze while a deep crimson flushed out her rosy cheeks that almost made her face disappear into the scarlet of her hair. The color in her cheeks spread evenly through her face now, like by some flesh-eating virus and she felt her heart’s pump of blood flow thickly through her bursting veins. Sirius’s laughter was drowning out and panic was beginning to consume her like some sick disease.

Sirius was laughing now, with a large sneer on his face, “So…you’ve FINALLY gotten it through your thick skull that James is your precious pen mate! It took you long enoooooooooo-----!” Sirius was shortly cut off though. Instinctively, Lily’s wand was withdrawn and before she knew it, the soft syllables of a spell spilled off her tongue.

A hazy cloud of chalky smoke filled her nostrils and cloaked all surrounding matter. Lily searched her eyes through the blinding whiteness, looking for Sirius, but she already knew that he had disappeared to the floor.

“What’s going on? What’d you do!” shrilled a voice that sounded distorted as if from helium.

Lily cleared the smoke with a brush of her hand and sighed. “Darn it. I could always get the transformations right, but not the squealing…no, they just had their voices raised 8 octaves higher than normal….darn.”

Sirius was sitting on the floor in front of Lily, though one could say….in a much different state. There, in front of her was Sirius. Pink ears. Curly tail. Pig snout. And all.

The tiny pig’s head gazed down at itself, or rather, Sirius’ head gazed down at itself.

“YOU TURNED ME INTO A PIG!” The voice trilled like a whistle through the room.

Lily grumbled beneath her breathe as she watched Sirius talk, “Well, the POINT of it was to keep you from squealing to James.”

Sirius’s little pig nostrils flared as a puff of air was released in anger, “well….hey!” he continued slowly, “I can TALK!…. ha ha, I’m going to tell James!”

The little pig flew up the stairs, but not before Lily’s hands clasped strongly around the tiny piglet and pulled him back. Pulling her wand out once more, she added an incantation and instantly a sheet of metal was hammered (painlessly) over his little piggy mouth.

Lily smirked with satisfaction has muffled cries shook from Sirius. But her happiness was soon ended when Sirius put his foot over her precious letter. She grabbed at the letter but Sirius’ tiny hoof was planted firmly over it. She thought it couldn’t get worse until…

“Padfoot, are you down there?” James voice bounded down the stairs, she could hear each soft pad of his feet gliding to the floor like each pound of her heart that beat dramatically. Frantically she gave a last tug and the paper ripped down the middle and before she could do anything she fled for the portrait hole, hoping to god that she had the part that contained the certain information.

“Sirius, I swear to god, if I find you I’m going to pluck that smirk right from your face for you– “ James stopped, his eyes blankly staring at the piglet at his feet. He looked at the pig. And he looked at the pile of Sirius’ clothes beside it.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk” he said, shaking his head, “What did I tell you about breaking up with girls? Always tell them you’re broken up before asking another one out! Just because you feel the relationship is over, doesn’t mean your girl does too!”

A cry of delight sounded from the pig and James pointed his wand at it and the metal over his mouth disappeared.

“Ah thanks mate, now just change me back and I think what I’m about to tell you will be all the more sweeter.”

James’ brows furrowed with miscomprehension, starring down at his little friend “Wha—Tell me what?”

Nudging the torn piece of parchment Sirius sniffed proudly, “This letter I have will have your ears ringing with excitement!”

“Slow down Sirius” James laughed musingly, picking up the parchment, “you sound like teenage girl bursting to tell some gossip horror story”

“Please” Sirius drawled dramatically, rolling his eyes, “Don’t compare me to such terrible things”

James cocked a sardonic eyebrow, “you know Sirius, this is probably one of the reasons you get transformed into animals so often—by girls that is”

“Ha! Girls are just evil my friend, I swear –there must be some sort of female conspiracy against men!” Sirius retorted, tongue-in-cheek, “It wasn’t even some crazy ex who did this! It was Lily, that maniacal—“

“Lily?” James said, a look of shock gleaming in his eyes.

“Yeah she turned me into this form just because of this dumb letter that—“

“You mean the one in my hand?” James interrupted quickly, starring down at it.

“But it’s torn so I’m not sure if the good part is—“

“Look mate, I’ll see you around, I have to go” With that James left his little friend Sirius sitting on the floor, a dumb expression glued to his face. With out even thinking James’ eyes fell on the letter reading down to the very last legible line that read “Yes my friend, worse because you see…”. From there on it stopped, and whatever was next had been torn off but it didn’t matter because only one line kept repeating over and over in his head. …losing him was like losing my best friend….. Was she finally starting to see him in different light? He couldn’t tell for sure, but it comforted him to know that she felt that way and even that she was considering the idea that he might in fact be her pen mate. And James Potter knew that for Lily Evans to change her mind about something was like getting a pig to fly—near impossible.

The portrait hole hadn’t fully closed when a high-pitched voice squealed out from the floor,

“Wait! You can’t just leave me like this! James! Come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!”

A/N- sorry guys, I should have gotten this chapter out sooner! Please don’t be mad, but hey, it was a longy right? Alright so it wasn’t the big chapter, but I promise you it’s almost here! I think the next chapter will be titled… “The Letter’s other half” or something like that… good? I hope so. Ah man, good song! Beat it! Beat it, beat it! Beat it! No one likes to be defeated! Show em how funky and strong is your fight, it doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right, just beat, but you wanna be bad… Ah Michael Jackson…..

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