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Chapter nineteen: Because

(A/N- alright people, you wanted longer chapters so here....8 freakin pages ;D

Morning glittered on the horizon, a shimmering bed of snow stretching far from the boot black sky that haunted the west to the powder blue east that harbored the sun. Life was beginning to stir, but slowly, and the early morning rays of sun had just barely extended their limbs over the castle. The towers and windows had the delicate draping of snow, icing the castle like frosting on a gingerbread house. The clock had not yet read 5:20 when Lily felt the terrible sensation of someone waking her up on a perfectly good Saturday morning.

She groaned, resisting brazenly from the hand that was shaking her. A laugh fluttered through the air at this bold act. Lily dared opening her eyes.


Or was that Potter?

James or Potter?

Potter or James?

Oh she didn’t know what to call him anymore, and she didn’t really care, but right now he was standing in front of her at 5 in the morning with a huge grin on his face on the first day of winter holiday when she was sleeping in her pj’s that were really embarrassing because they had pink little cats on them that glowed in the dark in her bed in the middle of the 7th year girls’ dormitory.

Now something in that last incredibly long thought seemed to trouble her, but which was it?

“JAMES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE 7TH YEAR GIRLS’ DORMITORY!!!!” she screeched loudly, sitting up in bed fully, starring at him wide-eyed in the face. And she wasn’t screaming this loudly just because her prefect mode was kicking into gear, it could have also had to do with the fact that she was a girl herself.

James laughed full-heartedly and Lily felt her stomach squirm, as she looked at him for the first time that morning fully awake. He chuckled as he looked at her, “Calm down, Evans you’ve nothing to worry about!”

This seemed to fluster Lily more that James wasn’t being serious, “You’re in the girls’ dormitory and you are a boy. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO WORRY ABOUT!”

Anther chuckle erupted from him as he looked at her, “There’s no other girls here, Lily. They’re all on holiday! The only thing you need to worry about are the pajamas you’re wearing.”

Lily took the time to blush furiously, trying to cover her self with the sheets mumbling heatedly, “You still shouldn’t be in here”

James ignored her last comment, standing up and walking out the door yelling, “Get dressed in five minutes!” and shutting the door to leave her to get dressed.


“Alright, so what is the reason for my getting dressed so early?” She asked as she stepped out from the dorm.

“It’s a surprise, but you have to follow me.”

“Well, I’m not going” she scoffed arrogantly.

“Then why did you get dressed?”

There was a pause. The words on her tongue knew what to say, but her mouth wouldn’t move. “Because”

James’ smile flicked for a moment as he heard her reply and his face fell a little, “Hasn’t anyone told you that “because” isn’t an answer?”

When Lily didn’t reply James sighed, pulling a large bag over his shoulder and adding “Come on, we’ve got to get a move on. We can’t be too late”


A large statue of a one-eyed witch stood before Lily as she stared blankly at it.

“So…what are we doing here?” she whined, dazed in a bored stupor.

“Quiet, I need to concentrate.” He scolded her, turning sharply on her.

“On what?” she scoffed back.

James’ lips pursed slightly, a move that very much reminded her of her own self, which in Lily’s eyes, was a bit frightening.

“On the spell I need to remember”

Lily opened her mouth, ready to speak but he cut her off.

“ah! Now I remember….” A soft whisper slunk from his mouth and his wand sparked, opening a door into the statue they stood next to.

James turned around, a proud smile on his face, “Alright, lets go”

Lily stared down the long passage, the darkness of the hall seeming to suck her in to it’s gloominess, “I…..i don’t think I’ll go….”

“Oh come on, Lily, what are you afraid of?”

She stood, as though considering the idea, but was almost instantly shoved right down through the door and literally thrown on the cold stone floor. She rubbed her head, a sore where she had fell and mumbled.

“ow…why’d you do that?” she groaned, pulling herself up.

James turned and shut the door, sealing them in an inky darkness that blanketed their eyes, “Cause you wouldn’t move”

Lily ignited the tip of her wand, casting long shadows down the narrow way. “James, how long is this going to take?”

He pondered, licking his lips as he thought, “Well…that’s why I got you up so early, really. It might take…oh…..about half of an hour to a full hour. But it all depends on how fast we move.”

“An hour! I really hope this is worth it”

“oh stop complaining, you’re going to really like it, I’m positive”

Lily gave a look of uneasiness and began their journey down the long passageway.


Lily laughed kindly in the damp air, the joke still fresh in her mind. They had been trying to make each other laugh as something to do during their long walk. After a particular funny scene involving James tripping and falling flat on his face did Lily burst into a fit of giggles she was still trying to come out of.

When James had picked himself up he took the moment to steal a glance at Lily. He smiled, watching her squeeze out the last of her giggles.

“What?” she said, still smiling as she noticed him looking at her.

James shrugged his shoulders, “It’s just…nice to hear you laugh”

Lily gave him a funny look; her nose wrinkling up as it usually did, “nice like the action or nice like the sound?”


Lily felt a weak smile creep across her face and that odd feeling was floating around in her stomach again.

“Lily…” he whispered softly, looking over to her, the harsh shadows of his face giving sharpness to his bright eyes. Every time he said her name…the word seemed almost foreign when he spoke it and chills would occasionally run down her spine.

“….we’re here”

“What?” she said soundlessly. Lily looked around; all she could make out was a dead end in the tunnel, with a very low ceiling. “But….there’s nothing here?”

James arched a high eyebrow, “really? Is that so….” Moving his hand over the top of the ceiling he pushed open what Lily had noticed seemed to be a trap door.

“Alright now close your eyes”

Lily protested stubbornly, but obliged still because if there was one thing Lily really enjoyed, it was surprises.

When she opened her eyes she took notice of how dark the room was. And the smell of sugar was glued to the stale air. It seemed so familiar like she had been there before like she had….

“James! Are we in Honeydukes?” she burst suddenly.

James nodded his head, pleasantly thrilled by her reaction, “yep, pick something out”


He sighed, smiling still and walking over to a particular crate, taking a fistful of what ever was in and throwing to Lily. She looked down at what she had in her hands and to her utter disgust saw chocolate covered beetles. So dropping the beetles she headed straight to the sugar quills, which had always been her favorite. She gazed at it longingly but set it back.

James, noticing this slapped on the back, “Come on Evans! Have a little fun!” he pestered playfully.

“Sure if stealing is fun!”

“They won’t care!

“Yes they will!”

“NO, they won’t”

“They will!”

“They WON’T!”





“Look. This is becoming ridiculous! I’m taking the damn candy alright!”

James looked like he had been whacked in the face with a large fish, “Ms. Evans! I do believe you just swore!”

“What? It’s not like I’ve never done it before” Lily scoffed lightly.


“I just don’t do it very often!” she tried desperately.

A large grin beamed from James, “You flatter me Evans, only I bring it out in you”


Lily had tried not to smile after that other remark. They were out of the shop, candy in bag and content smiles on their faces. James’s smile was because he had gotten Lily to swear AND steal all in one day; and lily was smiling because she had left money on the counter to pay for the stolen candy.

“wanna stop for a cup of tea? It’s really cold”

Lily nodded eagerly, entering a small café to warm her frozen feet after walking in the snow for a few minutes. Lily found a small table as James went to get them drinks.

“Lily, there’s something I want to tell you” James said, bring the cups of steaming tea, setting on down in front of her as he pulled up a chair.

Lily took a sip; feeling as the hot liquid poured down her throat into the pit of her stomach. “What?”

James was smiling now, an unusually happy grin of warmth, “Well…it’s hard to begin, let me just start by saying it has to do with your letters to that Red Dragon chap”

Nodding her head and taking another sip of her tea she gestured for him to continue.

“Well I think it’s about time I tell you who he is”

Lily’s face dropped and she set her tea down carefully, a frown fixed on her face. “James, no! Don’t do that! I mean I want to know, but I’d rather meet him in person!”

James’ grin softened to a sweet smile and he looked at her gently, “You are meeting him in person”

“Where! When?” lily asked eagerly, the words having a different effect on her.

James laughed, both happily and nervously, “Now, and here”

Lily’s nose scrunched up, “I don’t see him, where is he?”

James took a moment to breathe to mentally prepare himself, “He’s sitting right across from you”

Lily cocked her head to one side, her confusion written in the creases of her face, “what?”

James smiled broadly, now deciding to play no more games and come straight out with it, “It’s me!” he laughed, waiting anxiously for her response.

For a moment, Lily just stared at him, as if in deep meditation and then….

She laughed.

Not softly or innocently but loud and heavily as her voice boomed over the quiet din of the café.

“oh James, that was a good one! You really had me going!”

Now it was James’ turn to bear a face of perplexity, “no…really. I am”

Lily raised a high eyebrow, “Sure”

“really” James repeated more sternly now.

Lily’s face adjusted to a sneer, “You can’t be him”

“Well too bad cause I am!” James said harder, his voice rising slightly.

“that’s impossible, there are too many things that just don’t add up!”

James’ intensity level was rising; he could feel the thick hot blood pulsing fervently through his veins.

“LIKE WHAT!” he boomed loudly, causing a few people in their chairs to turn around and look.

“like how sweet his is, or what sorts of subjects he likes or what kinds of things he values. All of them are honorable, not like yours!”

James’ nostrils began to flare in rage, and he had lost all ability to speak.

“Well…” he said, huffing angrily, “What about Julia?”

Lily looked at him advertently, “How do you know about that? He said he had never told anyone else but me”

“That’s because I AM him!”

“James don’t be ridiculous, of course you’re not!” Lily denied stubbornly.

“Then what is it?” James asked softly, “Either he’s lying about never telling anyone or I am him. Which is it?”

Lily had lost all form of speech, but she had the strongest urge to slap him across the face at that moment. By now both of them were standing, glaring deeply at each other. But Lily felt so lost, this fact that James could be her Red Dragon was such a huge shock to her that her system automatically expelled it, like a toxic venom.

When words did return to her all she could make out was, “Well….why don’t you prove it?”

James’ eyes widened at this response, throwing his hands into the air, “Fine! FINE! You want me to prove it to you? I WILL! You’ll write to him, letter after letter when you’re back in your comfortable bed, and you know what will happen? NOTHING! Because you won’t get a response! I’ve had it with you! You wanted a friend and you had one, now….you don’t”

With that he turned on his heel, leaving to exit the café to try to rid himself of his boiling anger.

Lily’s heart was thumping beneath her chest and it wasn’t until he had left that she realized that she had stopped breathing. Her eyes clouded with fury and confusion, and thoughts drifted back and forth like driftwood in the middle of an ocean storm. And then something almost occurred to her…why shouldn’t she believe him?

Lily thought hard on it, she tried to think of a real, solid reason but all she could keep thinking of was the same thing. She repeated it to herself over and over, trying to make herself believe it, the mantra that she’d used all her life for this one question, that one word she’d always use an excuse, but it didn’t work this time. It was the only reason she knew, the only reason she had. So why shouldn’t she believe him? Why?


(A/N- Sorry I haven’t updated in such a LONG time, my computer was broken for a while and it took a week to get fixed, and that was right before I was about to get this updated. Sorry. And also i didn't know that we aren't allowed to ask questions in stories...? eh, whatever, would ask you guys something, but i'll just hold my tongue. It had to do with teh ending of my story that will be coming up soon, so instead i'll just tell you guys this. I think i will be having a few chapters after they get together like a mini epilouge. I think....that is sujbect to change but i thought i'd let you in on it cause some stories just end with two people finally getting together. i hope you guys are happy with that.....

Alright then, ciao


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