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Chapter eighteen: Lily

Last time….

James felt his stomach drop. Quickly his fingers scrambled for that letter, aching to grab hold of the sacred scripture. But as his whitening fingers clenched around it, pulling it back to hide it seemed to late.

Lily eyed him suspiciously, her eyes unblinking and unyielding to the terrible gaze “James…. why do you have my letter?”

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Lily stared at him for a moment, posing the question so innocently.

He opened his mouth, ready to speak, but his words came slowly, “…he…. told me…. to give it to you!” James sprang, thrusting the letter into her hands, “So you could read it right away, he knew from your letter how you were feeling so he wrote as quick as possible!”

Lily’s face melted into a gradual smile, her salty tears now beginning to fade from her rosy cheeks, “Really?”

He nodded his head, agreeing from false pretences to please her. “Yeah”

Her lips curled out, the soft flesh pink and smiling as her eyes dodged down to the letter and her hands carefully opened the blessed letter.

When her mind had been absorbed wholly in the letter James relieved a sigh and heaved himself back into the hay, waiting for her to finish reading. But he couldn’t help but notice the immediate impact on her features from reading this letter. This little letter, with a mere few words had almost instantly brightened her spirits. The red tear-stained cheeks now faded, blossoming into a flush rosy color. Even her eyes which had been small slits leaking water earlier now seemed open wide and fresh as air poured their emerald sparkle back into it’s depths. And the more she read, the broader her smile appeared, and happier too.

“You cry a lot”

Lily looked up from her reading, thoroughly disturbed, “what?”

James shook his head impatiently as if correcting her, “no, no….I didn’t mean that as an insult…I’m just saying. You cry. A lot.”

“What do you mean I CRY a lot?” she demanded harshly, the spirits in her voice rising with pitch.

“Well, I mean all last year I can remember you bursting into tears during class or just getting easily upset. Just a thought….”

“that was only a few times and I don’t cry a lot!” she said clearly, but the speak in her voice and the redden of her cheeks suggested otherwise, factor that was painfully obviously, to both of them.

“Hormones, mood swings, what ever the bloody hell you’d like to call it” she confessed at last, tossing her hands up from her lap.

James smiled, “yeah not like me

“Sure, I can remember you crying a few times”

“Name a few then!”

A small crease appeared in the corner of her mouth, like a hinge to that clever smirk she curtained on her face. She began confidently, “Well first there was time when you stubbed your toe in second year and you cried like a baby!”

“I didn’t stub my toe! Chester Brayton nearly took off my whole foot when he left his bloody trunk in the hallway for me to trip over!”

“And then, there was fifth year, I’ll always remember when I kicked you right in the groin after to tried to move hand down my back into place I don’t feel like mentioning. You fell over cursing and crying! Tears were sprouting out of your eyes!”

“That REALLY hurt!” He cried back, a slight pink tinge coming to his cheeks. “And I wasn’t moving my hand down there. I was simply trying to pick up that green pocket journal you always tow around wherever you go!”

She rocked back and forth in her seat on the ground, smiling and laughing at the memory. But her face fell only a second later. “And then of course…” Lily trailed off for a moment, recovering with a shake of the head and smile.

James cocked an eyebrow, “What?”

“Nothing”

“No, what is it?”

Lily sighed, letting her breathe flow out along with her words, “Well you know in first year when I met you for our first time.”

“You know you don’t have to avoid the subject for my sake.” He said earnestly, feeling a soft lift in his heart.

“Yeah, but I just assumed you didn’t like to talk about that kind of thing”

James smiled for a moment, a strange look positioned on his face, “well, thanks for the consideration”

Lily nodded in reply and her eyes wondered up to the clock. “Wow, it’s late, 11:30”

He laughed lightly, “maybe for you…”

“Should have known that,” she murmured warmly.

There was a short pause and the two only sat in silence, not knowing what to do or say.

James rose from his seat, brushing the hay from his pants and turning his face down to Lily.

“well…I think I’m going to head off, you coming?”

Lily shook her head, “ nah, I think I’ll just stay for a little while and gather my thoughts.”

They exchanged glances and James headed for the door, quickly adding before he left, “Alright….bye Lily”

But as his feet reached no farther than a step out the door Lily called out quickly, “Hey!”

James turned around, popping his head to listen once last time, “yeah?”

She looked curiously into his hazel eyes with a fixed smile, “You called me Lily”

“Yeah….I guess I did”

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The boys dormitory sat nearly empty. Beds were empty with sheets neatly all except two.

James entered his dorm, giving a quick scan on the room. He had almost forgotten that this had been the last day before holiday. And that had meant that the train carrying students vacationing had upped and left. It was almost kind of serene, if Sirius had not been blasting off little paper rockets from the ground with his wand. When James had caught sight he plunked down on his bed, watching Sirius on the floor.

“You’ve been gone long. I thought I’d die of boredom, I mean you were only going up to send out a letter and you end up gone for such long time!”

“You know mate, I’ve been thinking about something” said James distantly, ignoring the previous statement.

Sirius sent another rocket flying through the air, landing on the sheets of another boys’ bed and charring black. “What?”

“I think I’m going to tell Lily who I am”

Sirius waved his wand at the sheets which instantly turned to new again before adding, “don’t tell me she got amnesia again…”

“no, I mean the whole letter thing, I’m telling her. Tomorrow”

“Really?” said Sirius incredulously, “ickle prongsy is going to tell her? I don’t get you mate, I think you’re coming down with something. You even called her by her first name

“Look I just think it’s high time that I—“

“Hey, I’m not trying to stop you!” Sirius coughed, holding up his hands as though backing off from something, “I’m just saying…it’s your funeral”

“I think I can convince her. I mean, she seemed different this time I talked to her almost as if I were…”

“Human?” Sirius offered lightly, erecting an ironic brow and quirked smirk.

“…her friend” James sat up farther in his bed, looking his friend straight in the eye, “I think tomorrow I’ll take her to Hogsmead”

“But there’s no trip going out”

James smiled mischeviously, “I’m talking Maurader style”



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(A/N- alright now some of you may have gotten your hopes up, thinking “this is when she finds out!” and I know some of you are also thinking “telling her straight out is boring” but I swear to you, I HAVE A PLAN. And I think it’s good,…I think. Anyways, sorry it took long, I got sick. Now I could give you the gory details, but I’ll spare you, anyways toodaloo!

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