"Lily! Lily, no, do not take it like that ! I was not spying on you ! I swear. I was just - er - I couldn't sleep and I came down here . . . then I heard your voice - and I - I couldn't help bu - okay, so i don't have a good excuse . . ." James said in utter defeat.
"How could you just listen in like that ?!" Lily cried, her anger from earlier today was ready to make her explode. "You can't just spy on me like that Potter !!"
"I wasn't spy - "
"Don't you DARE tell me you weren't spying on me !! God James ! What is wrong with you ?!" Lily threw her hands in the air. She was angry, and she needed to vent. This, she thought, was the perfect opportunity. "You can really make someone feel like a complete pile of shit can't you?! You're just a stupid jerk James ! You don't care about other people, you don't care about anyone around you !! You only care for yourself !!"
"Lily, that's not tr - "
"And don't you DARE try and tell me that what I'm saying is NOT true Potter !! You want everyone around you to worship the ground you walk on ! And just because I don't do what your little fanclubs do, it gives you no right to torture ME !"
James yelled back in response, he needed to get a word in, "Well maybe if you'd let me talk to you for once, we wouldn't have this problem!"
Lily looked taken back. She didn't expect him to respond, "Don't you put this on me James ! I did not ask for you to like me ! I never asked for you to ask me out ! I never asked for any of this!"
"So it's all about you now Lily? This world does not revolve around you. "
"Revolve around me ?! Oh that's rich, considering it came out from your mouth."
"All I want to do is talk to you ! But you push me away like I'm something deadly!"
"I push you away because I can, James ! Because I WANT too ! And what you said to me today just makes me hate you even more ! You're just like them ! Those damn purebloods ! You're all alike ! Just because I have muggle parents, it doesn't make me any different from any of you !"
"Lily . . . Lily, I know. I know that. I didn't mean what I said today. Don't hold this against me, or any of the good pureblooded families out there. I was mad, okay ? I was jealous. Marcus Banks, does not deserve you. He's scum Lily. You shouldn't be with him. You should be with someone who would give you their world."
But Lily didn't give in. A part of her wanted to listen, to take in what he was saying. But just like many times before, she ignored that part of her. "Don't you tell me who I shouldn't be with James ! I'm perfectly capable of knowing !"
"Excuse m - "
"Don't. Don't take that the wrong way, Lily. I know you're capable of everything in the world, you're smarter than anybody in this school . . . but just ignore what I said, all I want you to know is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for earlier today, and I'm sorry for whatever I just said to offend you. I let the worse part of me take over, and I took out my anger on the wrong person." There was no use in arguing with her. She was mad, and she wouldn't stop until she was proven wrong. And seeing that she didn't believe a word that came out of James' mouth, he couldn't prove her wrong.
"I know that Ja - wait . . excuse me ?" Her adrenaline rush stopped dead in its tracks. "You're sorry?"
James could see the confusion in her eyes. He scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm sorry. You can chose to beleive me or not. But I am really sorry. For everything."
Lily looked at him, trying to figure out what had triggered inside of him to just blossom and mature right infront of her eyes. Then she did something that surprised the both of them. She stood up on her tip - toes and slowly gave him a peck on the lips.
James' eyes were still closed when Lily stood there looking at him. She didn't know what caused her to do it. Once she saw him . . . grow up, for that one minute in time, something inside her burst open, and pushed her forward. The thing that surprised her the most was that she didn't regret it.
"Lily . . . " he looked at her.
"I'm sorry," she pleaded with wide eyes. "I really didn't mean t - "
He chuckled softly. "I don't know why you did it, but it's okay, really."
She smiled weakly and looked down at her feet.
"If you know me, you'd know that I've wanted this for a very long time," he said playfully.
"James . . . Marcus is my boyfriend. And even if he wasn't . . . I - I didn't mean to . . kiss you."
James nodded. She didn't mean to kiss him ? He didn't understand, but he didn't want to say that to her.
"This won't change anything between us, you know that, don't you James ?" She asked quietly, barely a whisper. The truth was that Lily didn't regret what she did, and she could say that she wanted to do it again, but she couldn't just flip a whole one hundred eighty turn and be normal about it. She had Marcus. And James couldn't be the one for her. She convinced herself that his maturity would only happen once in a life time, and that he'd be the same ignorant James Potter tomorrow. "Please don't say anything about this James. I'm sorry . . . "
James nodded again, "I won't Lily. Don't worry." But he still stood there, completely perplexed at the current situation. Had Lily kissed him, or not ? He understood why she didn't want him telling anyone, but why did she say she didn't mean it ? If she didn't mean it, why had she done it ? Did she even want to kiss him ? Or was it really just an 'accident' ?
"Oye, Prongs, you alright down there?" interuppted a sleepy Sirius Black, who revealed himself at the top of the arch.
Abbey soon stood beside him, rubbing her eyes groggily. "Yeah, what's going on? Why were you two just yelling a minute ago? Were you yelling?"
"No. I was just coming up to bed, and . . James happened to be in my way," Lily said as she grabbed her journal and quill. All three pairs of eyes were on her as she went up the stairs and passed both Sirius and Abbey, then went straight into the girl's dorm.
"What did you do to her, love?" Abbey asked as she yawned. She was concerned, but the lack of rest was getting to her.
James took in a breath, "Nothing Abbey."
Sirius furred a brow, "Doesn't seem like nothing, mate."
"It's . . . nothing," James replied attempting to reassure his friends as he started up the staircase.
"It's called jealousy James," Abbey said as she leaned her back on his side. It was as if she was reading his thoughts. Although, anyone could read his thoughts due to his longing and confused expression that was slapped onto his face. Even though it didn't surprise Abbey about his jealousy, it clearly surprised him. He was never jealous of anything or anyone before. Until now.
They were in the Great Hall, Lily and Marcus were seated on the farther side of the oversized room. They were both laughing at the Ravenclaw table, and Marcus' arm was wrapped protectively around Lily. She doesn't even care about what happened last night, James thought idly.
"I'm not jealous," James replied a couple of minutes later.
Abbey chuckled as she finished tying her pair of french braids. "A little late in response aren't you?"
"I'm not jealous," reassured James awkwardly. He didn't know whether or not to talk to Abbey about how he felt about Lily. Afterall, she was his current girlfriend. But then again, it was Abbey who gave him 'pointers' on how to catch Lily's attention the good way. And it was Abbey who reassured him that Lily would give into him sooner or later.
There was no doubt in his mind that Abbey was a great friend, probably because she was the one who helped plan the Maruader's pranks, and sometimes, she was even involved. But she would always just be a great friend to James. He didn't even know why he was dating Abbey. He knew that he wanted Lily, and when he wanted something this bad, he wouldn't want anything else but that.
"Whatever," Abbey shrugged and stretched out her legs on the vacant seats next to her. "You should really learn how to . . . express - that's the word - express yourself more. If you even want a chance with Lily, you have to let her in on things. But anyway, what was that little thing you and me dear bestfriend had going on last night?"
James shrugged and leaned his back on the table. "Nothing." He lied, but he promised Lily that he'd say nothing to anyone.
Abbey snorted. "I highly doubt that James. Besides, Lily won't even tell me, and that's some serious shit because Lily tells me everything."
"Trust me Abbey, if it was something, don't you think I would tell you?"
She laughed. "Nope."
James gasped, and pretended to look hurt by her words. "I am appauled at your behaviour Abigail !"
Abbey laughed again. "Shutup you git."
He smiled. "Trust me, last night was nothing that you'd have to worry about."
She smirked and rolled her eyes impatiently.
"So you're staying at school for the Christmas?" James asked, trying to change the subject.
"Of course,” Abbey nodded. “If you know me as well as I think you do, then you should know that I’ve been staying at Hogwarts for the Holiday’s since first year. It shouldn’t surprise you.”
“Well . . there could’ve been a little twist in your mum and dad’s hearts,” he said.
Abbey chortled. “Never.”
“What about your brothers?”
She shrugged. “What about them? Claude is in his last year at Durmstrang, and Vicktor is on an internship in Italy. They don’t go home for Christmas either. But anyway, I need some time off by myself, O.W.L’s are on their way, and I can’t fail those now can I?”
James felt sympathetic for Abbey. His family was always there for him on the Holiday’s, and he couldn’t imagine a Christmas without them. “Well, I don’t think you’ll have all your time by yourself.”
“What? And why not?”
“Because I asked Sirius to come home with me for the holiday’s because of his, you know, family problems. And he didn’t want to, he said he'd feel ‘out of place’,” came James’ reply.
“Ahh. So I’m stuck here with mister Black?”
James looked at her and smiled. “Looks like it.”
“Peachy. Jusssst peachy.”
“Actually, it would be wonderful to spend time with you miss Abigail,” said Sirius’ voice from behind Abbey and infront of James. “Me and you. You and me. Yourself and myself. Myself and y - “
“Oh I’m starting to feel the fun already!” Abbey said sarcastically as she got up from her seat. “I’ll leave you two to your privacy, I’m going to find Korin. See if she needs any help with packing.”
"So - what's up with you and Abbey ? Or better yet, you and Lily ?" Sirius asked as soon as Abbey was out of sight.
James shrugged, "I dunno what's going on with me and Abbey. We are dating, but she's the one who gives me advice on how to get Lily to like me. So . . . I'm not really sure where we stand."
Sirius nodded. "Okay. Fair enough. But you and Lily ? What was that little thing you two had last night ?"
"She kissed me," James said as he put his face in his hands and groaned.
So he wasn't about to tell Abbey, and he did just tell Sirius, but only because Abbey and Lily were close. And if Lily found out that James told Abbey what had happened last night, then she'd think he was bragging and telling the whole school ( which he wasn't ). Besides, he trusted Sirius enough to know that he would not tell a single soul.
"She WHAT!?" Sirius cried, attracting some curious eyes.
"Shh ! Sirius, she's right over there ! I'm not suppose to tell anyone, so pretend you don't know."
Sirius' eyes were wide, "She did not."
James ruffled his hair, "She did."
"Why would Lily Evans kiss you? Of all people . . . "
"Thanks Padfoot," James said sarcastically.
"No, no," Sirius waved his hands in the air, "Nothing against you, mate. But Lily hates you. Why would she KISS you? It makes no sense."
"That's exactly what I'm trying to figure out. Last night, she said she didn't even mean to kiss me and it was an 'accident'. And I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone because, of course, she has a boyfriend, and she doesn't want him to find out. I mean - what's wrong with me that makes her hate me so much?"
"Well, if it helps, I'd say you're a great guy, and would be a great boyfriend, but that would make sharing a room with you very uncomfortable." Sirius said, trying to lighten the mood.
James chuckled. "You are so weird Padfoot."
Author's Note ; I know, i know. Not very exciting. But bare with me people. This chapter gives you a small insight on the holidays, which will not be written much about, and of course, Lily and James' big moment. = ) I'll bring in Chapter six asap. But my mid - terms are almost here, and exams are in like . . . 5 weeks. So i will be busy, but i will be updating. I promise. PLEASE R & R !!!
Disclaimer ; I own nothing of J.K.Rowling's geniusly thought out creations, characters, places, creatures, items, ETC.
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