"Weasley and Granger... hmm... what shall I do with you... late for class..." Snape was pacing up and down the room behind his desk. "Maybe we could just scrub the floors?" Ron asked in a small voice. "NO! That would be too... fun." Snape yelled, flinching at the word "fun". "Let's see... you can... help inventory and tidy up the Quidditch supplies..." "Ah... that shouldn't be too bad." Ron sighed. "... with Professor Gary." Snape finished. Ron and Hermione's jaws dropped. "You mean... we have to deal with the Quidditch supplies and that STUPID old bloke?!" Snape unexpectedly chortled and then stopped abruptly and cleared his throat. "Off with you then!" Snape shouted, but still had a slight grin upon his face. "Was that Snape back there that just... laughed?" Hermione questioned as they slowly reached a spot in the corridor that was out of earshot from Snape, who was now doubled up with laughter as far as they could hear. He was also yelling "Stupid old bloke! Ha ha ha! Stupid old bloke!" "I think someone has taken a Polyjuice Potion." Ron suggested. "I'm not sure... come on, we need to see Harry's map." Hermione grabbed Ron's hand and pulled him to the Gryffindor commmon room to the large, round table where Harry was sitting polishing his Firebolt. "Can we- may we see your map? Please?" Hermione panted. "What map?" Harry asked. "The-Marauders-Map." Ron panted from behind Hermione. "Oh! The Marauders Map!" Harry exclaimed stupidly with the same goofy smile as Gary. Ron smacked himself on his forehead and groaned, "Oh, no... not another Gary!" "What?" Harry looked completely puzzled. "Nothing. Just go get the map." Ron said. Harry went to the boy's dorm and came back fifteen minutes later with a bit of old, battered parchment in his hand. He had that stupid smile cracked upon his cheeks again. "Ugh! Open it up already!" Ron urged. As he did, the map had already shown. "Oh! That's what took you so long! You were trying to figure out how to bring up the map!" "Yeah... sure..." Harry said. "Calm down!" Hermione screamed. Ron was so frusterated, he was banging his head on the wall like Dobby. They all looked at the map after Hermione got Ron to settle down. In Snape's office, there was a little dot with the name "Tom M. Riddle" by it. There was a little voice bubble next to it that said "Stupid old bloke! Ha! Stupid bloke!". In a nearby broom cupboard, there was a dot that said next to it, "Severus Snape". "Why's Snape in the wardrobe?" Harry stupidly questioned. "AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" Ron pounced on Harry. "You stupid GIT!!!" "Ron! Get off Harry! Ron!" Hermione yelled, "RON!!!!!" Suddenly, everyone in the common room dropped everything and looked at Hermione. "Stop!" "Sorry... I was just so frusterated. Pick up your things, everyone! Go back to what you were doing! Sorry." he kissed Hermione on the cheek, put on his red and yellow striped scarf, grabbed Hermione's and they headed towards Gary's office. On the way, they tried to avoid not running into Voldemort. When they reached his office, they tried hard not to accuse Gary of making Harry stupid. "What are you two young... students doing in here?" he asked, probably about to say "young men" instead of "students". "Snape made us have detention with you. We have to 'inventory and tidy up the Quidditch supplies' as he puts it, so we better get started." Hermione told him. "What better way to have detention than to tidy Quidditch supplies with me?" Gary asked just like Lockhart in their second year. "Oh! It is you Ron... you look a little flustered... maybe I should sing a song to help cheer you up!" "No, please, NO-" Ron pleaded. "My name is Vivid and I love to use verbs! Verbs! Verbs! Verbs! Verbs are good, verbs are great! But only when Vivid sings them, you can call them great! Verbs! Verbs! Verbs!" Gary sang. "Anyway, who's this young lady?" "This is Hermione. Come on, this might take a while..." Ron ushered them out of the door with an exasperated sigh.
"How'd it go? Where'd ya go, while we're on the subject?" Harry, the neice of the Hick he's turning into asked.
"We were at detention and that stupid GIT made us polish the Shooting Stars over five times." Hermione tried sounding nice, but she still sounded annoyed.
"Oh, my gosh! I've just figured it out! I saw Malfoy by the Gryffindor table today... he could've put DUMB potion in Harry's pumpkin juice at lunch!" Ron suddenly yelled.
"I know a potion to cure it! Hold on..." Hermione dug in her bag and pulled out potion ingredients. She then got her cauldron and whipped up a potion in two seconds flat. "Okay, Harry, drink this." she stuffed the potion down his throat and Harry told them that he "dreamed" he was stupid. "That really did happen... Malfoy gave you the DUMB potion. I just cured you."
"Oh... that potion was nasty... what did you put in it?" Harry questioned.
"Just some beetle eyes, leeches, fluxweed, unicorn hair and centaur droppings." Hermione answered casually.
"Centaur droppings?!" Harry yelled, "I can't believe I drank that!"
"At least it's over. You don't have to drink anymore of it." Ron piped up.
"Anyways, You-Know-Who must've taken a very strong Polyjuice potion because anyone could be fooled by him. Harry, he's after you. I know it. Harry, you have to watch out. You two better not say anything to anyone that You-Know-Who is here. While he is here, anything can happen." Hermione warned.
"Alright then." Ron assured.
"Anyone have a plan?" Hermione asked.
"We could stay near him a lot to see if the potion ears off the slightest bit."Harry suggested.
"It depends. If we have nothing to do, we could walk back and forth in front of Snape's office and pretend at first going to to the library and then we 'forgot' something each time we go back." Ron said.
"Hermione, will you pinch me?" Harry questioned.
"I want to make sure this isn't a dream. You would normally tell someone that Voldemort is in school right now." Harry responded. "Ouch! Not that hard!"
"Back to the plan. I think Ron's idea was pretty good. And Haarry, if we stayed around him, wouldn't your scar hurt?"
"Well, yeah, but..." Harry said.
"I think Ron's idea was okay, but instead of pretending to forget something, we could have parchment and be running 'errands'. Do you two think that will work?" Hermione explained.
"Yeah."Harry and Ron responded. So they each went to their dormitories and got their book bags and carried bits of parchment. They met back in the common room.
"Do we have everything?" Hermione asked.
"Hermione, all we need is our book bags and parchment. It's not like we need quills and ink and out books. Calm down." Harry replied.
Hermione just frowned and walked towards the portrait hole while Ron and Harry followed.
"Wait." Ron stopped them. "Do we all know the password?"
"Yes, Ron. We don't have to worry about that." Harry answered. Secretly, Hermione had forgotten the password. She didn't say anything, though because she didn't wan't to sound like Neville.
They set off through the portrait hole, hoping "Snape" wasn't there. Smartly, since they were all thinking the same thing, Harry pulled out the Marauder's Map.
"Good thinking, Harry." Hermione complimented. Harry put the tip of his wand to the center of the battered parchment and muttered, "I solemly swear I am up to no good"and the map appeared.
"Oof." Ron grunted. Harry quickly mixed the map with the other parchment and as he looked up, he saw Gary.
"What are you youngins doin' out here when you could be outside enjoying the sun?" He asked.
"We're just running small errands." Hermione chuckled.
"Like what? Ya'll doin' stuff for teachers?" Gary questioned stupidly.
"Yeah. Just delivering notes and messages. We just turned in a book for Professor McGonagall." Ron answered.
"Yeah, we're just about to see if Professor Flitwick needs anything." Harry explained.
"All right, see you later... I guess." Gary answered.
"Goodbye." They all said at once. They left for Professor Flitwick's office and passed Snape's office on the way.
Ron looked quickly into the office and saw that "Snape's" hands were a bit wrinkly. When they were out of Voldemort's earshot, Ron practically exploded. "Did you see? His hands were... he... he..." Ron kept stuttering.
"Calm down, Ron. One thing at a time." Hermione patted him on the back. "Calm down."
"You-Know-Who, or Snape, his hands were..." Ron stopped to calm down a bit more. "They were... a bit... wrinkly." he said as he fainted.
"Oh, my gosh!" Hermione gasped. Hermione and Harry tried to catch him, but missed. Thud!
"Oops..." Harry said. They tried to carry him to the hospital wing, but they couldn't, so they dragged him.
"All he needs is a little rest and some chocolate." Madame Pomfrey assured once they got there.
About one hour later, Ron finally woke up. He couldn't see very well, but he could make out the blurred image of Harry and Hermione.
"What happened?" Ron asked groggily. "Whaa! Oof." Ron had fallen off the bed and then- "Oow!!!" He sat and hit his head on the bedside table.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah..." Ron answered. "I've just thought of something! Harry, let me see that map from when you were being stupid."
"What? Oh, that map! I made that with my wand! Kind of like crayons in the Muggle world!"
"Harry... I am going to KILL YOU!!!" Ron yelled. He jumped on Harry and started tackling him.
"What can I say? I was stupid!" Harry yelled over the ruckus.
"I'm going to the common room to finish my homework." Hermione chuckled and walked out of the hospital wing with the fight still going on.
As Hermione approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, she remembered she had forgotten the password.
The next chapter is kind of stupid... oh well... I couldn't come up with anything the night I was writing it so... yeah... Is "smartly" a word??? I wonder... Are you enjoying this so far? It's okay if you're not... I like this chapter because there's something from Ron's point of view, too... If you look in my favorites, there's a lot of good and funny stories... okay... gotta write!
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