----- Winky: Chapter Five, anyone? Dobby: -----eats oranges----- Mmmm…these are good! Winky: -----gasp----- Those are MY oranges!! Dobby: -----runs for his life----- Oranges to those who review!! ----- Chapter Five – V-Day (Does Anyone Ever Notice How Much V-Day Sounds Like D-Day?) Lily walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, back to normal. Madam Pomfrey had cured her strained bicep as well as her swamp-monsterness. She had cured James as well. Damn it. When Lily walked into the Great Hall, a great deal of noise from the Slytherin table drew her attention. Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape seemed to be telling an extremely funny story that involved something about someone’s butt. Malfoy charmed himself so that he had red hair, and Snape gave himself a messy hairstyle and glasses. The newly redheaded Malfoy fluttered his eyelashes at Snape’s butt. The Slytherins around them laughed loudly and a few looked at her as she entered and laughed louder. Lily automatically looked over at James who was stuffing his face with all the food he could reach and pretending not to notice what was going on at the other side of the Great Hall. Only the tips of his ears gave him away. Sirius seemed to be practically wetting his pants laughing and Peter was laughing because Sirius was laughing. Remus was trying to be loyal to James and not laugh, but his face kept twitching as if he were about to smile. The worst thing about the Great Hall was that the Slytherins were closest to the Entrance Hall and that the Gryffindors were at the other end. It meant that Lily had to walk past the whole of Slytherin house to get to the Gryffindor table. Wonderful. Walking as quickly as she could and keeping her gaze firmly in front of her, Lily walked past the Slytherin table holding her head high. She could hear a lot of wolf-whistles from the Slytherin sidelines, but she ignored them. “Potter and Evans, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Lily forced herself not to look at the Slytherins at any cost. It would not do to react; that would only make them worse. She walked resolutely to the Gryffindor table and made a beeline for a certain messy-haired Marauder. “This is all your fault!” Lily hissed, glaring at James. “Now everyone thinks we fancy each other or something!” “Hey, if you hadn’t made that – ahem – ‘slip of the tongue’, then none of this would’ve happened!!” “Well, you didn’t have to harp on about it!! Besides, how did everyone in the whole school know about it anyway?” Remus interrupted, “You two were yelling so loud; I’m sure there was someone in Africa who didn’t hear you, though, don’t worry.” Sirius was still laughing at how awful Malfoy looked with red hair, when he happened to look towards the teachers’ table. He laughed harder still. Peter noticed what was behind the teachers’ table as well. “Um, James,” Peter said, nervously tapping him on the shoulder, “I think you’d better look over there…” Lily screamed when she saw it. James went pale. “Oh…my…God.” Lily grabbed James by his tie and dragged him out of the Great Hall. ----- “What was that??” “Gee, dim as you are, Potter, I thought you would’ve realized what that was.” “No, that’s not what I meant- Oh man, not the teachers too!!” “Yes, the teachers too, and you’d better believe it. I have pinched myself numerous times and am going to have a permanent bruise on my arm. Rest assured, Potter, this is unfortunately not a nightmare, it is reality.” “How can you be so calm about this?” exploded James, pacing furiously. He banged his head on the wall. Repeatedly. This was not good. “I have realized that in this situation, panicking and causing myself injury will not help in the least.” Lily gave James a meaningful look and he obediently stopped banging his head on the wall. “Let us assess the situation, shall we?” Lily continued. James nodded mutely, still too shocked by what he had seen to speak. “In the Great Hall, behind the teachers’ table was an animated banner-” James cringed, not wanting to remember. “-an animated banner that was pink in colour-” James screwed his eyes shut; he did not want to hear this. “-that said, ‘Congratulations to Lily Evans and James Potter, the cutest couple at Hogwarts! Happy Valentine’s Day!-” James knelt on the floor and clutched his head, groaning. “-and then the writing disappeared and a picture of me and you appeared! I was looking adoringly at you and you were doing the same-” By now, James was curled up on the floor sucking his thumb. “-but I know for a fact that in that picture, I was looking at a plate of chocolate-chip cookies. So someone has magically edited that photo. And now everyone thinks we’re going out!!” Lily finished, forgetting her theory of self-injury not helping the situation and trying to pull her hair out. James got up from the floor because Lily kicked him, but he was still sucking his thumb. He needed all the comfort he could get. Everyone in the whole school thought he was going out with Liliana Aimee Evans. This couldn’t get any worse. ----- It got worse. Two people came through the doors of the Great Hall. They happened to be Emily and Charlotte, Lily’s two best friends. Emily and Charlotte were sisters, moreover, they were identical twins: both had long dark hair and big brown eyes and cute little noses and light freckles. “Lily,” said Emily, beaming at her friend. “We saw the news in the Great Hall-” “-and we wanted to say congratulations!” finished Charlotte excitedly. Lily personally found it a little freaky when the twins finished each others’ sentences. They called it ‘twin synchronisation’. “It’s about time,” continued Emily, still grinning her head off. “We all saw it coming for a long time,” said Charlotte earnestly. “Congratulations to you too, James!” And with that, the twins flounced off, looking very, very excited. “Great,” muttered Lily. “Just great. Even my best friends think I’m-” “Going out with me,” finished James gloomily. “Wait a minute- what did they mean when they said ‘we all saw it coming for a long time’?” Lily wondered how much Emily and Charlotte’s parents would miss them once she had killed the traitorous twins. -----
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