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Molly Sirius Remus Peter Lily Dumbledore


One week had passed since James’ accident and truthfully, Hogwarts wasn’t the same as it had been. Sirius walked around most of the time with a gloomy expression on his face and hadn’t cracked a smile, or joke since. Remus was desperately trying to cheer up both Sirius and Lily, but that was proven difficult since Lily spent all her time in the bathroom when she wasn’t in class.

The news of James had spread like lightning through the school, even several of the teachers had taken time out of the lessons to have a minute of silence for James. Eva Stain’s parents had even forced her home, too scared to let her stay.

Dumbledore had talked to Remus, Sirius, Lily, Molly and Peter and comforted them with the thought that James was still alive. He wouldn’t give more detail, but he had told them of his arranged plans of visitation that would take place in two weeks time.

“Why so long?” asked Remus, looking at Dumbledore with question.

“James isn’t in the right state for visitation I’m afraid” Dumbledore looked at Remus over his half-moon spectacles and smiled, “but I assure you that Sgt. Mungos will do all possible for you to visit James soon”

The next two weeks passed without excitement. A few more students had been brought home and a few assignments were set. Sirius had been crossing of the days until the visit, Lily was constantly reminding Molly how many days were left, and Remus was the only one who seemed even remotely calm. After 14 days of waiting, the day that they’d all been waiting for, came and they all were set of to Sgt. Mungos with the help of a portkey, in the company of Dumbledore. They arrived to find the familiar entrance to Sgt. Mungos.

After checking that the coast was clear Dumbledore finally spoke, “If you would please pair up and we will each walk in through the entrance two by two” Dumbledore took gestured for Lily and Molly to walk through the glass. After they’d all walked through successfully Dumbledore took one final look around and he too stepped through the class finding himself in the usual setting of Sgt. Mungos.

As they walked through the halls, Lily and Molly stayed close together, Sirius walked up ahead with Dumbledore and Remus and Peter walked behind, observing the surroundings. There were pictures of famous healers up on the wall, one who looked particularly like a snow white own because of her white hair, pail skin and big eyes. Wizards and witches were running around with the most bizarre appearances. One witch, not older than 6, had her arms covered in wings. Another old wizard’s tongue was swelling to the size of an oversized pickle, making it hard for him to breathe. A few healers were trying to calm down a man who had broken out in uncontrollable giggles.

They walked up to the information booth where Dumbledore asked, “We are here as visitors to a James Potter?” The witch behind the glass was chewing rapidly on her everlasting gum and said, “Ward 46, fourth floor”

“I do thank you” answered Dumbledore as he stepped out of the line, gesturing for the rest to follow in his lead, and walked over to the elevator.

“Professor” Sirius looked up at Dumbledore who answered coolly, “Yes?”

“I was wondering…will we be able to talk to James?” Sirius eyes were full of questions. Dumbledore placed a comforting hand on Sirius shoulder and smiled. Sirius looked at Dumbledore for a while then turned his head forward again, a bit irritated that Dumbledore hadn’t answered his question.

They were soon on the 4th floor and looked around them. There were healers running around everywhere, some covered in blood, some looking flustered and some who were comforting family members of their patients. There were also some patients in white gowns who were walking around looking befuddled. When they reached Ward 46 Dumbledore turned to face the five sixth years and said calmly, “Only one will be able to go in at a time since James is still not in very good condition. You decide who will go first and I’ll just go talk to the healers” Dumbledore walked off leaving the five of them staring at the door that would lead them to James, “Who wants to go first?” asked Remus. Everyone was quiet and didn’t give any hint of response, so Remus ended up going first.

As they waited all of them looked around the hallway in which they were standing. After a few minutes Lily walked over to the vacant sofa were she sat down, picked up a pillow and started hugging it. Peter followed her, seating himself down on the couch. Peter put a comforting arm around Lily who buried her face in his chest. Sirius and Molly were left standing outside the door. Molly was looking at Sirius in a concerned manner as he walked back and forth looking up at the ceiling. She stopped him with her hand and took hold of his hand. He looked at her in surprise and smiled for the first time in weeks. He pulled her over to the couch were they both sat down, Molly leaning against his shoulder and Sirius stroking her hair.

Remus returned after a good 20 minutes, looking as if in shock. Peter got ready to go in next and left Lily crying in her pillow. Remus sat down in Peter’s previous seat and buried his face in his hands. Sirius looked at him, confused, although respected his privacy and decided not to ask any questions. Molly sat up and looked at the others, “Does anyone want any coffee?” Lily looked up from the pillow and nodded discreetly, Remus didn’t move an inch, Sirius stood up and said, “I’ll come with you”

They walked down the hallway to the booth which served the coffee. Behind the glass a fairly old witch was sitting cleaning her extremely long nails, “Could we have three coffees please” Sirius said. It took a few moments for the old witch to react. She finally picked up her wand and conjured three cups of searing hot coffee. Sirius took two of the cups and Molly stepped forward to pick up the third.

“Are you ok?” Sirius looked around at Molly who was looking at her, a glint of concern in her blue green eyes.

“I’ve been better” Sirius answered as his gaze returned to the coffee inside the cups he was holding. Molly kept quiet the rest of the way, not wanting to put Sirius in an uncomfortable position. When they returned, Peter just came back through the doors, looking gloomy and Remus was comforting Lily.

“Do you want to go next Sirius?” Remus looked at him.

“I think I’ll wait” Molly put down her cup of coffee; “I’ll go” She walked over to the door, opened it slowly and walked in.


***


Molly James


Molly walked in and closed the door quietly behind her. She looked around the ward before walking to the last bed which the healer had told them was James’. Along the bed she passed a few other patients in their beds. One was sitting on the edge playing with a puzzle. Another one was covered in hair and a healer was standing beside them feeding them a red potion. Molly turned her attention to the bed where she could see the familiar jet black hair of James. She walked up to him and prepared to go up and hug him when she saw that he was fast asleep.

“James?” Molly walked up to the side of the bed and shook James slightly. At that moment the healer that had been standing at the door rushed up to her and pulled her away. She looked very strict.

“You must not touch Mr. Potter.” she let go of Molly’s arm and walked over to her previous position at the door.

“Excuse me? Why is he asleep? Peter was just here…he….he talked to him” Molly looked at the healer at the door who sighed and walked over once more.

“Mr. Potter is in a coma…a deep sleep if you will” the healer prepared to leave but Molly held her back.

“What do you mean?” Molly’s eyes were filling with tears.

“C-O-M-A” the healer spelled out for her.

“I heard what you said…” Molly turned around to face James. His face was pale and his hair was messier than ever. The healers had removed the glasses and for the first time Molly could actually see James, his high cheekbones and his slightly pointy nose. Molly brushed the hair out of his face and smiled at him.

“Bye James” Molly turned around, walked up to the doors and walked out, wiping a tear from her cheek.


***


Remus Lily Sirius Peter Molly Dumbledore


When Molly came up Lily immediately rose from her seat and went over to her. The expression on Lily’s face showed terror, her eyes were red and filled with tears and her lips were shaking. Molly pulled her into a hug, and as she did she could feel Lily tremble against her body. Molly was scared for her. She had never seen Lily like this before. She tried to pull out of the hug, but Lily was holding on to her so tightly. She wouldn’t let go. They stood there for minutes, maybe hours.

Neither Lily nor Sirius felt they could go in to see James just yet. Terrified of what they would see, how they would react and what he would say to them. Sirius went up to Lily and Molly and tapped Lily on the shoulder. Lily looked at him and with one look he told her it was his turn. Lily walked to the nearest wall and slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall. Sirius pulled Molly into a hug. She pressed herself against him so tightly she could feel his heart beat.

The time was 4:15 when Dumbledore returned. He looked at the five of them with curious eyes. Deciding not to ask questions he walked in through the door to James and closed the door behind him. At this moment Molly pulled away from Sirius hug. She wiped of the tears from her cheeks, “Oh I’m sorry. Your shirt is all wet” she reached forward to try and dry it up but Sirius caught her hand.

“Its fine” Molly looked into his grey, warm eyes and saw that he was crying. She reached up towards his face, brushed the hair out of his eyes, wiped the tear of his cheek and moved closer to him. They stared at each other for 2 minutes, never breaking eye contact. Finally Sirius leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers. When the kiss was over Molly rested her head against his chin and started crying at a new. He stroked her head whispering comforting words to her.

Lily was sitting on the couch with Remus who still had his face in his hands, Peter had walked over to the coffee booth to get some more and Molly and Sirius were still standing at the door when Dumbledore came out. They all turned to face him. He looked at them all individually, trying to figure out what they were feeling, “Have you all had the chance to see James?” Sirius and Lily both shook their heads. Lily walked up to Dumbledore and looked him straight in the eye as if trying to find comfort there, but sadly, Dumbledore’s eyes didn’t show anything. He walked over to Remus and whispered something in his ear. Remus immediately stood up and he and Dumbledore walked of.

“You ready Lily?” Sirius looked at Lily who had gone back to her position on the floor. Lily looked at him for a moment, and then said quietly, “Not quite yet…” Sirius turned to Molly, kissed her forehead, and walked into the ward, completely unaware of what he would see.


***


Sirius James

It was very quiet inside the ward. Quite the opposite of what Sirius had thought. He walked forward slowly, preparing to sneak up on an unaware James. He walked with light steps towards the end of the ward. He passed the patient covered with hair and looked at him for a while before continuing forward. He walked up to the shades that were surrounding James bed and ripped them apart, exposing the unconscious James. He yelled, “Surpr…” but was caught short by the sight. He walked over to the left side of James bed slowly, never taking his eyes of James, “James?” he whispered softly.

“Shh!” the annoying healer made her way towards the bed with a stern look on her face. Sirius turned to her.

“How am I supposed to talk to him if I can’t talk?” Sirius raised his right eyebrow and the healer turned on her heals and walked off, looking irritated. Sirius returned his gaze to James and looked at him with sad eyes, “How could this happen?” He reached forward and shook James slightly as he used to do when he would wake him up in the mornings. James slept on, not moving a muscle. Sirius sat down on the chair next to the bed and ran his hands through his hair, determined to not let a single tear fall.

“How could this happen?” he repeated. He looked at James white, calm face. Sirius got of his chair and walked over to the bed yet again, getting down on his knees and leaned against the bed. “James?”

“There’s no use Sirius” Sirius leapt up from his position to find Dumbledore standing beside him.

“What do you mean there’s no use? He’s not – dead – is he?” Sirius lips were shaking as he talked.

“He’s not dead” said Dumbledore softly, looking at Sirius with a look of fatherly love, “He’s in a coma I’m afraid”

“Coma?” whispered Sirius as his gaze found James once more and he tilted his head to one side as he looked at him. Dumbledore nodded gently, observing Sirius as he looked at James. A tear had escaped Sirius eye and was making its way down his cheek. Sirius quickly wiped it of. He didn’t want Dumbledore to see him cry.

“It’s ok to cry” Dumbledore said sympathetically as he reached for a tissue on the table next to the chair. He handed it to Sirius who took it with urgency.

“I don’t want to be weak, but I can’t help it” Sirius said quietly looking at Dumbledore, “but when I see James in this state…all I can think is how it’s my fault”

“But it wasn’t your fault, and you must remember that” Dumbledore took a step towards Sirius.

“But it was. If I hadn’t taken out the package…nothing would have happened” Sirius looked down at his feet, wiping of yet another tear. Dumbledore walked out the door without as much as a word leaving Sirius still staring at his feet. Moments later Dumbledore returned with Molly who was looking confused. When they reached Sirius he looked up at them. His eyes were red and his hair was in his eyes. Dumbledore looked down at Molly who got the hint and walked over to Sirius.

“I can’t make it all better. I know that, but I can help you through it – if you want?” she whispered as she grabbed his hand and held is as tightly as she could. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he appreciated what she was doing for him. He pulled her into a tight hug and she hugged him back, trying to make him feel all the security he needed to get through this.

“Thank you” he said softly in her ear as he pulled away from the hug, still holding on tight to her hand. His gaze fell upon James once more. Molly looked him. She could see all the emotions through him. She let go of his hand softly and went over to the vacant chair where Sirius had been sitting before. Sirius looked at her quickly and then turned back to James, “James…I miss you….”


***


Lily Peter Remus


Lily was sleeping against the wall in a very awkward position as Remus and Peter were sitting in the sofa drinking their newly bought coffee. Remus was looking at Lily. The sight of her lying there with her messed up hair and wet cheeks broke is heart a little. He had always liked Lily, sometimes even more than a friend. She had helped him with anything he’d needed help with, whether it was homework or bullies. But she had always been James so called “property” and he hated that. Firstly he didn’t think she should be owned be anyone and secondly since she had never showed a sign of ever wanting to go out with James he’d thought it was rather ridiculous that she was still “his”.

As he watched her sleep he realized that she’d never actually hated James. She was actually breaking inside because of all this. He placed the half empty cup on the table and walked over to her. He bent down and picked her up, carried her over to the sofa opposite the one he’d been sitting in and placed her there gently. He took of his jacket, placed it around her shoulders and walked over to the other sofa.

Half an hour later Lily woke up with a start, sitting bolt up right and breathing heavily, “James!” she yelled at the top of her lungs causing as many as five healers to say, “Shh!” Remus walked over to her and held her hand with both of his.

“It’s ok. It was just a dream” Lily was still breathing heavily and sweating. She looked at him with frightened eyes. Remus helped her into a sitting position and handed her a cup of fresh coffee he’d gotten her for when she’d wake up. Lily took the cup with grace and sipped the coffee slowly.

“How am I supposed to get through this? What if he dies? What if it’s my fault? I can’t let him die. I won’t let him die Remus, I won’t” she was talking fast as she looked straight into Remus eyes. A new batch of tears started pouring out of her eyes as she bent down placing her face in her hands. Remus walked over to her and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder, “I don’t want him to die Remus”

“None of us do Lily” he whispered back to her as he stroked her hair, untangling the knots.


***


Molly Sirius James


“…I love you” Sirius concluded his speech. He turned to Molly whose eyes were filled with tears, but she was still smiling.

“I had no idea you and him were so close” she said as she stood up and grabbed a tissue to wipe the tears.

“Are you kidding? He’s like my brother” Sirius smiled as he walked over to Molly. He took another tissue from the table and helped her wipe away the tears, “It’s ok to cry”

“I know…” Molly whispered as she moved closer to Sirius, “I was just about to say the same to you” Sirius leant down and kissed her, feeling that familiar tingling in his stomach he’d felt just outside a few hours ago. She pulled away and looked at him with her beautiful blue green eyes. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door and out.


***


Molly Sirius Remus Peter Lily


As soon as Molly and Sirius had come back from the ward Lily ran up to Molly and started shaking her violently.

“I won’t let him die! Moo, I won’t let him die!” she yelled. Remus ran over to her and pulled her away from Molly who was looking quite shocked.

“What’s happened with her?” asked Sirius. Molly looked at Sirius then walked over to the couch where Remus had sat Lily down.

“What’s the matter Lily?” Molly said as she put a comforting arm around Lily’s shoulders and stroked her hair.

“I don’t want him to die” Lily whispered as she turned to Molly and pulled her into a hug.

“No one does honey” Molly whispered back. Lily broke away from the hug and looked around her. Remus and Sirius were standing in the corner looking at them. She turned her gaze to Peter who was fiddling with his coffee cup.

“I don’t want…” Lily continued but Molly placed her hands on Lily’s cheeks and turned her face towards hers.

“Listen to me Lily, listen to me! You need to calm down” but Lily didn’t listen to her. She stood up quickly and walked over to Remus.

“Is he going to die?” she looked Remus straight in the eye. He was scaring her a little bit and he didn’t know what to say to her.

“I…I hope not” was all Remus could say. Lily turned towards Sirius and asked the same question.

“I won’t have it” Sirius replied looking at Lily with wide eyes. Lily’s eyes were filling with tears as she ran from the group, Molly rose and ran after her.

“That was weird” said Sirius as he walked over to the couch and sat down heavily.

“Tell me about it” replied Remus looking just as confused and befuddled as Sirius.

When the girls returned Sirius and Peter had fallen asleep but Remus was still awake. They walked over to the couch were he was sitting and sat down. Remus looked at Lily with a confused expression on his face, but his eyes showed fear. What was wrong with her?

“She’s just having trouble coping” said Molly as if she could read his mind. Remus looked at Molly and forced a smile. “Don’t do that, I know you don’t mean it” Molly snapped.

“I’m just trying” Remus mumbled.

“I know…and I really admire you for it. I would never be able to do that” Molly looked at Remus with admiration. At this moment Sirius woke up. His hair looking like a stuffed porcupine and huge bags under his eyes he sat up and looked around. His eyes met Molly’s who looked at him and was trying to hold in the laughter, thinking that it was not the right time to be laughing. Sirius stood up and stretched his arms and picked up the cup on the table before him. He drank from it but quickly spit it out.

“Damn that’s cold!” Molly let out a few silent giggles as Sirius jumped around the hall trying to find something to wash down the disgusting, cold coffee taste he had in his mouth. He finally found a water fountain around the corner and returned looking peaceful. “So has Lily gone in yet?”

“No I haven’t” murmured Lily as she stared at the ceiling.

“Why not?” Sirius asked.

“Don’t push me!” Lily snapped. Molly grabbed Lily’s hand and held it close to her face.

“Maybe it’s time you went Lily. I mean…the sooner you go in there the sooner it will be over” Molly reassured her.

“I suppose…but…” Lily’s and Remus eyes met and at that moment she decided it was time for her to go in. She rose from her seat, letting go of Molly’s hand, and walked past Sirius towards the door into Ward 46.


***


Lily James


When Lily entered the ward I was dark. The healers had blown out most of the candles in the ward, except for one at each patient’s bed. She walked by each patient at a distance as if scared to catch their disease. Great! I was planning on becoming a healer but clearly that’s not a good choice seeing as I’m scared of sick people. She continued walking and no sooner than she expected had she reached James’ bed. Thinking that he’d fallen asleep she sat down on the chair next to him and looked at his handsome face.

She sat there for nearly half an hour before rising and walking up to James. She picked up the clipboard that was lying on the table next to him and read what it said:

Mr. James Potter. Coma patient. Currently on life-support.

Lily hurriedly put the clipboard down and looked at James once more. Her hands rose to her face as she started crying. “Oh James”

“How could this have happened to you?” Lily looked at James and took in all the handsome features that she loved so much. “I admit there are some things that you have done in your life that I don’t approve of but no one can deserve this” Lily pulled the chair towards the bed and sat down. She grabbed James hand and kissed it gently.

“All those times you tormented Severus and all those times you hexed innocent students I’d always thought to myself how great it would be if you weren’t here. But now…that you’re not here…It’s like, the things I thought I hated about you are actually the things I love most about you” Lily brushed her thumb gently against his hand.

“I miss you. Even though I’ve spent most of my time at Hogwarts and I’ve put so much effort into trying to hurt you all I ever wanted to say was that I loved you. But you know me – actually…you don’t know me, because I’ve never let you get close to me, and I’m so sorry for that”
“I’ve done some horrible things in my life, but what I regret most is betraying you. I have to confess something” Lily took a deep breath and continued speaking. “I read your letter…I promise I would take it back if I could, but I can’t and if you can hear this, and I pray that you can, I want you to know how many nights I’ve spent thinking about you and all the things I’ve said and done to you” Lily kissed his hand once more and brushed it against her cheek.

“I was going to tell you about…well…everything actually. I was going to tell you I love you. I was going to apologize for everything. I was going to confess” yet another tear fell from Lily’s eye and landed on James hand, “but you’ll never hear” Lily stood up from her chair and let go of James hand. She pushed the chair back to its original position. She walked over to James once more and looked at him. His hair had been brushed out of his face but the hair at the back of his head was still managing to stick up. It really was James she was seeing, lying there, completely frozen. She ran her hand through his soft, jet black hair and leaned down and kissed his soft lips.

“Bye James” Lily gave James one last look before turning around and walking towards the exit, completely unaware of the fact that James’ right index finger had started to furiously twitch.

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