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The silence in the room was so thick you could almost hear it. No one moved, or made a sound, but instead, they all stared at James, confusion and worry etched on each face. James blinked several times, willing himself not to cry. His previous words echoed through his brain, as did the events of his past summer. It was becoming too much to take. Against all his efforts, a fat tear leaked out of the corner of one eye and slid gently down his cheek.

“James?” Sirius asked quietly. James gave him no response. Sirius cocked his head to the side, much like a dog, in curiosity. “James, what is it?” he asked again.

Remus stood up on the other side of Sirius and walked over to James, bending down to read over his shoulder. As he read, the lines on his forehead grew closer together and his eyes narrowed in a worried frown. His next words gave as much clue to the letters’ contents as James’ had.

“I don’t believe it,” he said in outrage, but his voice gave away the fact that whatever the letter said it was not impossible.

“What?” Sirius said growing impatient. Before Remus could reply however, he gently pried the paper out of James’ limp hands and held it up to the candle light to read it. “‘Dear Mr. Potter, we are sorry to inform you that your mother, Danielle Potter, has been submitted into our insanity ward. It appears that the shock of the death of your father, Adam Potter, has caused her great distress and she is slightly unstable. Please note that while her condition is still mild, it could grow worse, but we are doing all that is within our power to ensure it does not happen. We shall keep you updated on her condition. Have a good term…’ ”

The room was silent. James’ body was shaking as he fought to control the emotions that so desperately wanted to creep out unchecked. He could feel all eyes upon him. He wished they would look away. He hadn’t broken down like this in front of them since his fathers’ death, and he hated to do it again. He wanted to prove he was strong, and that he could handle whatever life threw at him, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t do it, he realized as he sat there, fighting the tears. He couldn’t be perfect in that sense.

Slowly, finally, the tears eased and stopped. He smiled to himself slightly as he looked up at his friends. They would never do anything to hurt him; it was alright for him the cry in front of them. If they couldn’t seem him at his weakest, then they weren’t really his friends. And here, they had seen him, and it was okay. They didn’t think any less of him. They probably would have thought worse of him if he hadn’t cried or showed emotion.

Three pairs of eyes wear upon him, staring at him, two slightly misty, and the other, lost and scared. They were the eyes of his three best friends. The very people who had always been there for him and who would continue to be. They were the people he would need to get him through this school year.

“Sorry, guys,” he said meekly. He brushed his red eyes with a shaky hand.
“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for? It’s these idiots who need to apologise, not you!” Sirius said angrily. Everyone looked at him. “‘Have a good term’ haha”

They stared at the letter in his hand. Sirius glared at it, then looked up at James, before ripping it in half several times, and threw it into the dying amber flames. James watched the pieces twist and turn as the flames liked their sides. The turned black and then shriveled into nothingness, the way James wished his problems would.

“To hell with them anyway,” Sirius muttered, and James felt Remus move beside him. They sat in silence for a bit. James really hated the world about now. Everything was going wrong. His father was dead, because of Ministry screw-ups, and now his mother was in shock in a hospital where they weren’t even sure if they could heal her. And here he was, alone in the world, with only his friends to stand by his side, expected to carry on and be strong; a true Gryffindor. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be Head Boy; a role model to the younger students in the school. He didn’t want to do well in classes anymore; he didn’t want to be perfect. He only wanted everything to be right in the world again, but with Voldemort, it wasn’t possible.

James stared at Remus, without really seeing him. Instead, he saw a werewolf. Grey fur, large claws, and baring teeth. He saw a black dog nearby, and somewhere he saw a small rat scampering up to a tree. And then he saw a magnificent stag, proud and majestic without any care in the world. He wanted to be the stag; and found himself wishing for the full moon.
Remus stared intently into his eyes, and seemed to be able to see what James saw. It was as if a little movie was playing across the black pupils of his eyes, for anyone to view at the slightest whim.
“We should go to bed. We’ll need a lot of sleep. Full moon’s next week,” Remus whispered, standing up. Simultaneously, they all followed, as if they were four bodies with one brain, and had to follow the commands of it without question. Slowly, and quietly, so as not to disturb the other inhabitants of Gryffindor, they went up to the seventh year boy’s dormitories. The yellow flames burned low, and died as the door slammed shut.

A/N: So, do you all hate me? I feel terrible about adding more grief to James’ life, but it has to be done, because it is planed that way. It is written in the stars. Ooooh!... that just made me think of something….”A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life…” ( : Isn’t that awesome? I could be the next Shakespeare!!! Lol. That is actually a line of the prologue to Romeo and Juliet. I know the whole thing, but I don’t think I will recite it. I am too lazy. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you are looking forward for the ones to come. Please review! ♥ AMW

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