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Hey all! This is a new type of one shot for me, I thought of it as I was told some stories by a friend of mines great grandma. Truly heart felt. The gorgeous banner is by the ever gorgeous Jude Harrison, who I tend to harrass for new banners. *blushes* Move on with the story, beware though you **may** need tissues... And remember to read and review!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for uh... anything you don't recognise. Pity really, I'd love to own Draco... *sighs* Oh, and the song is the beautiful Far Away by the ever awesome Nickelback! *claps* Anyway on with the show.

Note: Amour Perdu, french for Lost Love

Draco/Hermione One-shot
By: Butterfly Kisses

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“She’s gone! She’s dead!” That’s was all I heard echoing as I hid behind a wall near the waiting room where Weasley, Potter and the younger Weasley sat. My ‘Mione was gone, gone like the summer, gone like the flowers that bloom only to wilt. Just like when you switch off a light bulb. Gone. Forever.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait

It seems like just yesterday I watched as she made a daisy chain bracelet for herself and tucking one of the flowers behind her ears before smiling at me. But now I am an old man, my wrinkles have come unwelcomingly; my haggard bones seem more and more brittle to this day and I am alone in a retirement village tucked away in the village near St. Mungos.

I like to be near my sweet, so I make the trip to St. Mungos as often as the Healers will let me. I am just a face that passes through the crowd as if waiting for a loved one to return home. But she never shall. She was ripped away from me unfairly, taking my heart with her. ‘Her name will be forever on the lips of all those who loved her…’ Is scrawled across the memorial in the gardens. A memorial to the lost in the Final Battle, where the light won extinguishing any trace of dark.

Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

Her heart and smile shone brightly above everything else. When she smiled the sun hit her cheeks and she was practically glowing. It was only a couple of days before she passed on that we were going to announce our engagement publicly. But the War stopped us. Stopped us from ever having children, stopped us from ever marrying, stopped us from ever having a family, stopped us… me, living.

I loved her with every ounce of my heart, I never stopped. I can often hear the wind whisper her name as it licks at my worn face. I have heard many a rumor in St. Mungos. That there is a girl, a young girl about eighteen or nineteen that walks the corridors looking for the love of her life and when the day ends and she does not find him, she runs and hides… waiting for the new day to begin and her search anew. I heard one French woman telling her child about the ‘Amour perdu’ that roamed the wards, not really haunting just searching with the pleading eyes of a lost soul.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

The door creaks open and in pops Akela, the night nurse. She smiles at me and sweeps her dark fringe behind her ear. “How is everything Mister Malfoy? To your liking?” She asks sweetly. I have just been upped to high-risk level because my heart is giving out. Two hours and I already feel like a bored and old twat.

“Fine Akela, just fine. And Draco is fine thank you, all you nurses should know that.” I mumble and she smiles softly and places her hand on mine.

“Draco, would you like me to read some of her journal to you?” I can see the concern in her eyes. It was exactly seventy years ago today that she passed on and it showed on my face of the pain I was going through. I nod solemnly and as she walks towards the bed side table avoiding all the bits and bobs I am hooked up to. As she pulls out the blue leather diary with the tattered ribbon that tied across it, she re-fluffs up my pillow placing the book on the bed.

Once again she picks it up leaving me to make myself a little more comfortable in the unbelievably hard bed. Akela sits on the arm chair closest to the bed and carefully unties the blue satin before slowly opening the journal.

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

“July 3rd.” She begins pausing to look up at me. My face is still and I can feel the glass of tears on my eyes. That was exactly four days before the War started. I nod for her to continue. “I made such a dork of myself today! Draco has wanted to talk to me all week and finally I corner him in the lounge room about it. And I ask him and he kinda looks at me as if he was going to throw up or something. I am still sitting in silence, right, and I open my big mouth and say, “C’mon, it’s not like you’re going to ask me to marry you or something?” I’m really snappy at him cause my monthlies are not here yet and well frankly it worries me. And he just stays quiet. And then he gets down on one knee and pulls out a light blue velvet ring box. “Hermione Jane Granger, Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” I felt faint right about there and I just stood there gaping. I must have looked like Crookshanks’ lunch. “Yes!!” It didn’t exactly sound like that, I had a bit of a stutter due to the shock. “Of course!” I squealed afterwards. I admit I, Hermione Jane Granger-soon-to-Malfoy squealed… like a girl. But I just got a marriage proposal! I just can’t express how much I love Draco, he is my rock. A very damn good looking rock at that!” I sigh wistfully as Akela stops for a glass of water.

I can feel the lone trickle of a tear form as she continues, “As soon as I say yes he scoops me up and places the gorgeous ring on my finger. It looks so huge! It must of cost a fortune! And I kiss him passionately but before I can get too far into the kiss I hear some violin music play and slowly he is twirling me in his arms as I smile at him. Goofily might I add. Signed Hermione Jane Granger, no, Hermione Jane Malfoy.” Akela stops and looks at me as I dab my eyes with an embroidered handkerchief. “Draco would you like me to finish tonight?” She asks timidly. It was always by this stage I was a blubbering mess or hyperventilating, so I had never heard of the days before the battle.

On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand

“Of course Akela, then my life will be complete.” I say smiling at her gently as if she were the daughter or granddaughter I never had.

“July 4th. Draco and I hope to break the news in a couple of days so far the only people who know are my family. And they’re over the moon! Even though they said we were too young to get engaged, once Mum and Dad met Draco they couldn’t say no! They were on about how we were perfect for each other… and to think of it, I really think we are. Perfect for each other that is. Signed Future Mrs. Hermione Malfoy.” Akela stopped and looked worriedly at me. I just smiled contently and beckoned for her to go on.

She smiled feebly, “July 5th. I spoke to Harry and he said the war is upon us and that I have to be alert and ready for anything. I am confident in my abilities and can only hope the light side will pull through. Draco and Harry would have killed me but I went for a walk today. I apparated to St. Mungo’s and walked straight to the Maternity Ward. I saw the most gorgeous little babies there! There was even a set of triplets! Maybe it’s me or am I feeling a bit clucky? Yours Deeply, Miss. Hermione Granger, Fiancé of the gorgeous Draco Malfoy.” I smile at her sign off; she really did want to be my bride.

“’My ‘Mione…” I murmur as my frail fingers touch my cracked and dry lips.

“She sounds like an extraordinary woman Draco.” Akela says softly I can barely hear her.

“She was truly one in a million. I remember the way the sunlight would hit her hair when we lay out by the lake. The way she would always fit snugly into my arms when she hugged me. She would always smile when I kissed her on the forehead. In one instance at Hogwarts we got a bit carried away in the Common Room and I ended up going to class with her lipstick all over me.” I chuckled as I remembered the look Snape gave me when I walked into class. I look over to see Akela with glassy eyes and tears rolling down her unwrinkled cheeks. “Now, now, don’t cry Akela. Tears only spread more grief to the world; you must smile and be brave even when the world is at a stand still.” I say as she takes my hand.

I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

“Don’t worry Draco, look no more tears.” She says as she wipes her eyes and chuckles as I smile gratefully at her. “It’s just how can something so devastating happen to someone so nice like you?” She asks as the tears start up again. I pause and stare at her. Nice like me?

“You don’t know how I used to be…” I sigh painfully as flashes of my former self materialize in my mind. She squeezes my hand snapping me from my reverie.

“It’s okay; you’re not like that now.” I smile fruitlessly as she continues on with Hermione’s journal.

“July 6th. I’m nervous. Oh Merlin am I nervous. It is around eleven pm and Draco’s already in bed. I snuck into the bathroom without him hearing thank Merlin! I have not had my monthlies and frankly I am too worried to string two sentences together anymore. I have to test myself to be sure. Now I scribbled that spell in here somewhere…” She trails off as her eyes scan down the page widening with every sentence she takes in. She looks at me her eyes as wide as dish plates. I have no idea what she is on about and why she just won’t hurry up!

“Is everything alright Akela?” I ask softly as I pat her hand that lay on my bed sheets. She just stares at me in horror and places the journal down on the side table.

Instantly she masks her fear and puts on a chirpy and bubbly façade. “Now Draco, would you like me to fluff your pillow, get you a drink, call anyone for you?” Akela asks.

I stare at her dumbly before saying politely, “No thank you Akela, but I would like you to go on with the journal.”

“I-um, I’m not so sure Mr. Malfoy. I mean-“ She begins.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

I can feel myself getting angrier, I have waited this long to hear her final thoughts and now she won’t finish them. “Please, please, Akela, I think of you as my own daughter, please finish it.” I plead with her as a lone tear rolls down my cheek.

“And everyone here thinks of you as their father Draco.“ She sighs in defeat and nods slowly taking up her seat again. I can see the tears that threaten to fall from her own eyes as she lifts the worn book.

“Oh Merlin, I’m pregnant.” She murmurs so quiet that I don’t quite comprehend.

“Pardon?” I ask.

“Oh Merlin, I’m pregnant.” Akela says again before she completely breaks down and cries moving closer to me hugging and sobbing into my frail chest. I am immobile, like a frozen statue as the tears spread across my face. In killing my ‘Mione the War killed any chance of me ever being a father.

“No, no , no!” I wail softly as Akela buries her face in my chest. My little baby gone and the love of my life… gone. Seventy years ago… And it took me this long to find out..

“I’m so sorry Draco, I’m so sorry.” Akela whispers as the tears come in bucketfuls. It isn’t fair! First my father takes Hermione now he takes my child! I can feel my chest tightening and becoming heavier but I ignore it, the pain I am going through now is enough. My head is spinning, to find out that I was going to be a father was mind blowing but to find out my own father has killed my child… it just stabbed me in the heart.

“Is-is there anymore?” I ask my eyes stinging through the tears. Akela lifts herself of my chest brings the blue book to me as she places herself on the bed next to me. She flips through the book, leafing through the pages. She finds nothing closing the journal and shaking her head. As she closes it a see something. “Wait! Akela could you pass that here?” She nodded as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

I carefully flipped through the pages, seeing Hermione’s writing almost made my heart stop. The book even still smelt like her; honey and vanilla. I kept going until I came to the last thing she ever wrote.

‘Oh Merlin! I’m pregnant! It’s positive! The light is green…that means… twins! Oh Merlin! I’m going to have twins! I’m going to be a mum and Draco is going to be the perfect dad! I’ll have to tell Draco tomorrow! Signed a Preggers Hermione Jane Malfoy

July 7th. The War is here. Voldemort is attacking and looking for Harry. He’s killing everyone who is close to him. Neville’s gone, Dean and Cho are too. Dear god he’s coming after us now. And Draco doesn’t even know he’s a father. He got sent off early this morning. Please keep me and my babies safe. Let Harry win this. Please let him win this.’

And that’s where it stops. I can feel my heart pausing under the strain but with a few deep breathes and hiccups of tears it is fine.

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

“I shouldn’t have left her! I shouldn’t have!” I scream in frustration. Akela comforts me as her sobs are reduced to strangled cries. “I never should have left her!” I throw the book in frustration at the end of the bed and Akela jumps. She hiccups as the tears keep streaming down her face.

I hide my face in anguish, “Please just go… just go.” I hear her leave quietly. Through the open crack in the door I hear her talk to the other nurses, ‘He’s found out.’

So everyone knew about this everyone knew! They knew my Hermione was pregnant and because of my father I was given no chance of being a dad! I sob as I slam my fists into the pillow behind my head. Secrets! Lies! Deceit! War did this! War screwed up the only life I knew! The life I loved living for! My head is aching and my stomach is swirling as I see a creamy envelope poking out of the cover of the diary. I struggle to reach it but finally it is within my grasp.

The envelope is creased and worn and you can tell it has been opened many times before. I lift the seal and pull out three photographs. The first is a black and white set of Hermione and I in one of those muggle Passport Photo Boothy things. I chuckle sorrowfully as I see the first one where I am staring blankly at something above the actual camera while Hermione is giggling and pulling a face. The second I am actually staring at the camera and Hermione looks like she is about to shove me. Which in the next one she does. The fourth one she has her fingers on my cheeks making me smile before laughing heartily. The fifth one Hermione is blowing a kiss while I am pretending to show off my muscles. The last one I did on impulse. I planted a soft kiss on her lips, taking her by surprise. Her eyes are closed and her arms are around my neck by the time the flash goes off. I smile as another rain of tears comes and I place the photograph back in the envelope.

The second out of the three is a black and white professional photograph we got done for Valentine’s Day. All I am wearing is a pair of denim slacks and Hermione is wearing a black satin lingerie set with diamantes set on it. Her hair is messed and wild, her eyes lined with black eyeliner. Her ear is on my chest as if listening for a heart beat as her hand runs over my arm teasingly; her eyes are cast downward shadowing her face. I have my arm cupping her hair ever so lightly as I stare at her tentatively. She is standing her whole height and only comes up to just below my shoulders.

I smile as my fingers trace lightly over her face, her hair, every inch of her skin. To stop my self from sobbing I quickly slid the photograph back in the envelope. I never got to hold her in my arms again… soothe her cries, comfort her worries.

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

This third one surprises me. It is a moving photo of me, I’d forgotten all about this one. Hermione had snuck up on my while I was lying on the grass near the lake. I remember how she reached over shielding my closed eyes from the sunlight. The camera blocking any rays before whispering “Smile.” My eyes flutter open as I see her face and I smile lovingly at her. The tears pour down my face as I see that she must have carried these around with her everywhere, stored in her journal.

As I sob, I tuck the envelope back into the diary before resting it on my lap, my fingers running over every crevice. And the heartache and drowsiness washes over me slowly claiming me as their prize. For what am I but an empty man, relieved of nothing but sorrow and anguish…

Beep… and slowly the silence envelops me…

The door swishes open frantically as my breathing slows. “His hearts giving in!” I hear Akela shout as more and more Healers and nurses run in. My vision is blurry as I see the many white coats hook me up to even more machines.

“C’mon Draco, keep breathing!” I hear someone say as they pull open my eyelids to check my pupils. I can see many different bright lights. This isn’t how I am supposed to end my life, not in sadness, but in happiness that it has been fulfilled to it’s fullest.

I can feel the tight constricting of my heart as it fails to obey with my will to live. It never should have happened this way I should be with my ‘Mione, holding her hand, kissing away her tears. My frail body is losing hope and the Healers can see it as they try everything in their power.

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you

“I’m sorry ‘Mione… I’m so sorry.” I manage to murmur as I feel someone take my hand. I hear the hush of a silence and I strain my eyes to open them. A gold glow fell over her, she sparkled domineeringly as she smiled gently stroke my hand and making me shiver.

“Draco…” She whispered as she brushed my hair out of my face to look at her. I hear many whispers of ‘Amour perdu.’ This was no Amour perdu, I could feel her, I could touch her, I could smell her… “Draco,” She whispers again. “You did me proud, just know I loved you with all my heart darling. I am so sorry I never got to be Mrs. Hermione Malfoy.” My eyes flutter open even more as I hear her say this.

“It can’t be…” I hear one of the nurse’s murmur with her hand over her mouth. The majority of them are now backed up against the wall staring in awe.

“You must come Draco, you have to come to the light, you have to meet your children.” She says soothingly and I begin to cry, my little children. “Shh…” She says as she places her gentle fingers over my lips and I can the crystal clearness of tears over her eyes.

She stands from the chair and takes my frail hand in her own soft one. “We must leave Draco. We must go.” She says. As she rubs my hand in hers I can feel my self being lifted. The lifting stops and I glow. I look on my once haggard skin to find I am looking just like I was at nineteen. I run my fingers over my own skin and my fingertips glow with warmth. I smile at her as I capture her arm; I can here the sobs of many as they look from my body that lay on the creased sheets, the blue journal in hand to my soul, a glowing nineteen year old, hand in hand with his fiancé.

I complained about never feeling complete after ‘Mione passed on, but now my soul has departed from my body and with ‘Mione…
I am whole.

I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving

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Many patrons, visitors and Healers swear that as the clock struck midnight that night they saw the Amour perdu and a very handsome blonde man walk with their fingers intertwined towards an untainted light that shone vividly above them all. They stopped near the edge as the Amour perdu beckoned for something behind them. A little boy and a little girl ran up each seizing a hand, the boy taking the Amour perdu’s and the little girl taking the man’s. And together they walked towards the beckoning light, smiling, because now each of them was whole. As a Family.

Hold on to me and
never let me go…

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