The night before they were supposed to leave Harry stared at the ceiling in bed, unable to sleep. He shifted onto his side, trying to get more comfortable but it was no use. He let out a frustrated sigh and rolled over, trying his other side. He couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of what was going to happen tomorrow and thoughts of Ginny kept whirling around in his brain. He heard Ron snoring, having fallen asleep almost immediately and suddenly hated him with a passion, the bloody git can sleep through anything, he thought. He grabbed his wand from his dresser and threw a silencing charm at him before flipping back over and trying again. The silence was just too unnatural after years of hearing Ron’s snores from across the room and after a few minutes Harry removed the charm and turned onto his back, his frustration mounting.
Finally, he threw his covers off of him and sat up. He got up slowly, listening for any change in Ron’s snores as he moved. He opened the bedroom door slowly and had a mild heart attack when it creaked. His head jerked towards Ron when he heard him shift in his bed at the sound. Harry let out a slow calming breath as it became clear that Ron hadn’t woken, and crept into the hall. When he reached Ginny’s door he stopped, unsure of whether to continue. After a minute he threw caution to the wind and turned the knob slowly. The only light in the room came from the window, as a strip of moonlight fell across the bed at angle, casting the room in a gentle blue light.
God she’s beautiful even when she’s asleep, he thought as he came to a stop next to her bed. Ginny was sleeping peacefully, her red hair framing her face on the pillow and her sheets pushed down to her waist. Harry’s breath caught as he watched her. He could see her breathing in and out slowly, one arm folded behind her head and the other resting on her stomach. As he stood there she shifted in her sleep, as if making room for him on the bed. Slowly Harry leaned down and slipped under the covers and into the bed with her.
“What the!” Ginny mumbled groggily as she woke, moving automatically away from the person beside her.
“Shhhh” Harry said, as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back down beside him.
“Harry” she said softly, melting into him… “What are you doing here?” He shifted up on his side and gazed down at her. She just looked at him as he cupped her cheek in his hand. His emerald eyes were bright and shining at her through the darkness around him.
“So beautiful” he murmured as he leaned in and caught her lips in a lingering kiss. Breaking away after a minute, Harry snaked his arm back around her waist and shifted her, pulling her over until her back was settled against his chest. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said into her ear, as if that made it ok for him to be in her bed with her parents down the hall.
Now on her side, Ginny’s eyes went the picture of them that was sitting on her nightstand. It had been taken at Hogwarts and they were sitting under a tree by the lake. Ginny was sitting in between Harry’s legs, her back against his chest and his arms wrapped around her. At they moment they sleeping peacefully and Ginny watched as Harry pulled her closer, resting his head on hers. Ginny looked away, her vision suddenly blurry and snuggled against the Harry behind her.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” he whispered as she snuggled deeper into him. He had his arm wrapped around her, with his hand on her stomach. She moved her arm over his, taking his hand.
“I know,” she said softly, becoming still.
“I just wanted to be near you,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her neck softly. She shivered slightly at his touch and felt the tears she had been fighting all day begin to threaten her again. “I... I don’t know how long we’re going to be gone,” he continued tentatively, talking into her skin. “I know you’ll be at Hogwarts, so you’ll be safe… but… I don’t know what’s going to happen…”
“Harry,” Ginny said, interrupting him.
“No,” he said firmly, pulling her tighter… “I need to say this…. I… I could get killed,” he said, as she tensed. “Who am I kidding; I probably will get killed… I’m not even 18 yet and Voldemort…” he trailed off. “I love you Ginny… I love you with my whole heart, and I want you to be happy. I don’t want you wasting your days wondering where I am… I don’t want you to have wasted your time if I never come back…”
“Harry,” she began again. She tried to shift around but he wouldn’t let her, using his hand to prevent her movement.
“I’m not finished...” he said, and she huffed in frustration. He couldn’t help smiling into her at this.
“What I am trying to say is that I should want those things for you… If I love you I should… I should want you to be safe, and happy, and not waiting around for someone who probably isn’t coming back…” He felt her begin to shake as he spoke. “But I think… I think I am too selfish,” he said, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Because I want you,” he breathed against her, his voice catching in his throat. “I want you to wait for me…” He paused at this, taking in a shuddering breath… “Please wait for me to get back… I know I shouldn’t ask… I probably won’t even come back but… I don’t want to lose you…I don’t know how long it will take but…” he trailed off.
Ginny had begun to cry. She tried again to shift around and this time he let her. She turned over until she was on her side facing him, their heads close together on the pillows. Harry felt his eyes begin to water when he saw her tears. He reached out and pulled her closer until their bodies were touching. “Harry,” She said, kissing him… “You know you don’t have to ask that. I would wait for you forever…” He let out a small sob and leaned his forehead against hers, cupping her cheek with his hand.
“I’m really scared,” he breathed. It was barely audible but she heard him.
“You’re going to come back… I can feel it,” she said, trying not to choke on her words. He began to kiss her, tasting her tears on her lips as he moved against her. At first it was a slow, tender kiss, full of love. Harry felt his longing roar to life inside him and he couldn’t get enough of her. He moved his hand into her hair as he ran his tongue across her lips. Ginny knew what he wanted and opened her mouth, letting him slide his tongue inside.
Ginny moaned softly as he kissed her deeply, rubbing his back with her hand. Maybe it was because it was so late, or maybe it was because she didn’t want him to leave her, but suddenly she felt bold, and moved her hand around to his chest as they kissed. She slid her hand down until she found the hem of his shirt and slipped her hand inside to his skin, slowly running it up his body to his chest. Harry’s stomach jerked at her touch and he groaned into her mouth. Ginny was marveling at how smooth he was when he suddenly rolled with her until she was on her back and he was on top of her.
Harry slid his hands up and down her sides as they kissed, shifting his body more on top of her and pressing into her. He wanted her so badly at this moment that he couldn’t think straight –couldn’t think of the consequences. After a few more kisses Ginny turned her head to the side, breaking the kiss. Harry became still on top of her, “Do you want to stop love? Because we can… that’s fine.” Please don’t say stop, please don’t say stop his hormones chanted, even as he said the words.
Ginny shook her head, looking back at him. “I… I don’t want to stop,” she said, and Harry’s heart soared, “It’s just… It’s just I can’t breathe with you on top of me…” she said, biting her lip, suddenly terribly embarrassed as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Harry looked at her for a second and then leaned his head into the crook of her neck and began to laugh…
“Oh... oh Gin, I’m sorry,” he said as he chuckled… Harry hadn’t had much experience with what they were doing, but he had heard older guys talk, and had seen enough to know how to fix the problem… not that he wouldn’t have figured it out easily enough on his own.
“Here,” he said as he rose up on his arms, “This will help…Spread your legs apart love,” he said softly, settling his weight between them as she moved. He placed his forearms on either side of her face to hold his body up a little and leaned down, beginning to kiss her again… “Better?” She nodded, smiling against his lips. As they kissed Ginny moved her hands back inside his shirt, feeling his skin. Harry moved his head down and began kissing her neck deeply. He found the sensitive spot just under her ear, causing Ginny to press her hips up, arching against Harry’s arousal. He clenched his teeth shut at this, trying to control the pleasure that shot through him…
Oh God that feels good, Ginny thought, and raised her hips again, bending her legs a little to make it easier. She gasped out loud at the friction it caused. “Oh God Ginny…” he groaned, trying to keep his body still.
“What? You don’t like it?” she gasped, raising her hips again, curious at his reaction…
“I…” he trailed off as he pushed his hips into her. Oh God, she’s perfect, this is perfect he thought as he pushed against her again. He repeated his actions a few times, kissing her as they began to rock together. Ginny pushed his shirt up and he let her pull it over his head as they moved. He tried to muffle their moans with his mouth as he pushed harder against her, his mind working furiously… Oh God, this is great… no this is terrible… we have to stop… her parents are going to hear us…we have to stop… She moaned his name and he moved his head down to her neck…
He forced his mind to start working. “I… we… we shouldn’t… not here… we’re not ready for this…” he said brokenly… he meant it but he couldn’t help it… he slid his hands down and grasped the back of her thighs. He pulled her legs up as he pushed against her, grinding his hips into hers. He groaned into her neck as she gasped, arching against him and dropping her head back. Their hearts were pounding as the moved together, the intensity of the situation overwhelming them. Oh God, I can’t stop… how am I going to stop… what was I thinking coming in here… I can’t do this and then leave her…
“Ginny,” he groaned into her neck, his mind racing as they rocked together… “We… we have to stop… if we don’t stop, I… I don’t know if… I can’t do this and then leave you…” He felt his control break as she moved beneath him and he slipped his hand into her shirt. Ginny moaned his name as he took her breast in his hand and he didn’t think she had even heard him when suddenly she shoved him up as hard as she could. Harry looked down at her as she held him away, her palms against his chest. Her face was flushed, her eyes filled with fire as she stared up at him, breathing just as hard as he was. She will never look more beautiful than right now,i he thought. His hand was still in her shirt and he rubbed in a circular motion, trying to memorize the way she looked as her eyes darkened and she bit her lower lip, trying to hold back her moan. With a moan of his own he dipped his head, kissing her quickly before rolling off of her. They lay next to each other for a few minutes, both trying to bring their breathing under control. “I… I’m sorry,” he said, “this isn’t why I came in here… I just wanted to be near you before…” As he trailed off Ginny moved her hand towards him and laced her fingers through his.
“You don’t have to leave me,” she said softly…
“Yes I do… you know I do,” he replied, staring at the ceiling…
She looked at him, “you could take me with you.”
Harry closed his eyes, his mouth turning down into a frown. “No… we’ve discussed this Ginny. I’m not taking you… You’re going to Hogwarts where you will be safe.”
“Harry,” Ginny said in frustration, “I will be no safer at Hogwarts than I will be with you… nowhere is really safe with Dumbledore gone… I want to help you… I want to be with you.”
“Gin,” Harry said softly, turning his head to look at her… “You can’t come… I can’t protect you…”
“I don’t need you to protect me Harry,” she said softly, watching his eyes and he gave her a hint of a smile before responding.
“I’m sure you don’t, but I would need to protect you anyway. Don’t you see that if you’re with me, my focus will be you? I’ll be distracted by trying to keep you safe and that will end up getting us both killed… All someone has to do is point a wand at your throat and I would do whatever they wanted to protect you… to save you…”
Ginny stared at him. “Ron and Hermione get to go,” she tried softly… Harry shut his eyes tightly for a minute, trying not to get angry.
“You’re different and you know it Ginny,” he said through clenched teeth.
Ginny knew as she looked at him that he wasn’t going to change his mind. She didn’t want to spend her last moments with him fighting so she brought his hand up and kissed it, causing his eyes to open… “Ok,” she said looking at him, kissing his hand again before dragging it around her, shifting until her back was against his chest, the way they had started. “You win.”
“Well that’s a first,” he said kissing her shoulder as he pulled her more snuggly against him.
“And the last,” she said with a smile, twisting just enough to find his lips for a quick kiss as he chuckled.
They lay together, talking softly about nothing until they drifted off to sleep. “I love you,” Ginny murmured, drawing his hand tighter around her.
“I love you too,” Harry replied softly into her hair, closing his eyes.
Harry woke as someone shook his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Hermione standing over him. She was holding his shirt and she was not smiling. “I’m not going to ask what is going on here,” she hissed, “But you had better get up before Ron wakes or none of us will be leaving today because you will be dead.” He looked down at Ginny, sleeping soundly beside him… No he thought, realizing why Hermione had his shirt, more like on top of me. At some point they had shifted and Ginny was sleeping with her head on his bare chest, her arm and leg draped across him. They were still holding hands. Does she ever not look gorgeous? He thought. With a small smile he slowly pulled his hand from her grasp. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her.
“I’ll see you soon love,” he whispered in her ear before shifting carefully out from under her and getting out of the bed. “Nothing happened,” he whispered to Hermione, seeing the look on her face as they crept from the room.
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