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    Disclaimer: I own none of the cahracters that sound familiar. Duh.
    A/N: I'm probably not the only one who's made a story like this, but who cares!


    Draco Malfoy: Ex- Death Eater and one of the Ministry of Magic’s top aurors. Yeah, of course, there was Harry Potter who was THE top auror, only because he ended up defeating You-Know-Who and then all the reindeer loved him. Draco’s wife, Brigitte, was also an ex death eater. They met when they both fled to the ministry.

    It was about five years after the final war. As always, bad guys finished last. Every death eater who hadn’t fled to the ministry before the war, like Draco and Brigitte, were rotting in Azkaban. Lord Moldyshorts (as kids now called him) was dead. Draco had even pulled a Crouch and got his dad locked up…again.

    Mostly everybody started to settle down. Even Draco and Brigitte had three kids. There were two 3-year-old twins girls, Emily and Chelsea, and one baby, who was not even one, Trevor. Having twins was probably the thing Draco feared. He pitied himself when he couldn’t figure out which twin was Emily and which twin was Chelsea.

    So imagine Draco’s utter fear when Brigitte announced that she’d have to go to the states for two weeks. Brigitte was now chief editor of Witch Weekly, and there was a story in America that they wanted. Knowing Draco, he made look like he could do it, even though he really had no clue how to change a diaper, let alone what a diaper even was!

    “Ok, Draco, I’ll only be gone for one week. Now, Emily hates chocolate and Chelsea seems to like to sneak chocolate in Emily’s food. Please watch for that, I don’t want any hair ripped out. And, don’t let those girls fool you, even though it’s the summer I still want them in bed by 9:30 at the most. Now Trevor can be a fussy eater, he only likes certain foods, which you can figure out by what we’ve got. Whatever he doesn’t eat, he throws on the floor, the walls, everywhere, so only give him the exact amount of food he needs.”

    Draco interrupted, “Which would be…”

    “DRACO!”

    “Joking, joking…” Though he really had no clue how much to feed Trevor.

    “Also, there’s a little stray cat walking around, please don’t let them touch it. It could have rabies for all we know-“

    “Brigitte, love, don’t worry! I got the kids their rabies shots the moment they were born!” Draco laughed a little, but stopped at the look on Brigitte’s face.

    “Draco, promise me you can do this. I mean, if you need me here, just say the word.”

    Draco smirked, “I’ve got everything under control, ok? Now just tell me, what is a diaper?”

    “DRACO!”

    “Joking.” Though Draco was thinking as Brigitte said good bye to the kids, ‘What the bloody hell is a diaper? Do Emily and Chelsea wear one? No I don’t think so. Does Trevor wear one? Is that what that dung sack is? No, I don’t think kids need one, at least I hope not. Brigitte didn’t say anything about diapers, so it’s probably not mandatory. But what is it? Maybe it’s that toy thing in that…crib thing…’

    “Ok, well, I’m off then.” Brigitte said uncertainly.

    Draco gave her a reassuring smile and kissed her good bye, only to get a few Ews from Emily and Chelsea.

    Brigitte looked at them and said, “Behave,” before disapparating out.

    “Ew! Trevor farted!” Chelsea groaned while plugging her nose.

    Draco looked a little worried, “What does that mean?”

    Emily laughed, “He needs a diaper change!”

    ‘Shit.’

    A/N: Like it so far? Here's what's coming up.

    "You need any help?"
    "No! I can change my own son's diaper!"
    "Well excuse me Help Nazi! If you're gonna keep yelling at me I'm outta here!"
    "I don't need anyone's help! These are my kids!
    *a bit later*
    "Hey mom, could come over?"

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