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Who says life is a bag of cheese? Er, wait, no one says that. Umm.... metaphormetaphormetaphor.... I’ve got it! Who says life is a bag of lettuce?

Seriously, I think Lily’s gone a bit wonky. We’ve been spending more time together, sure, but now she looks at me sometimes. Not just the Oh-you’ve-got-a-huge-zit-on-the-end-of-your-abnormally-large-nose look, but the Why-haven’t-you-figured-out-what-I’m-thinking look. That look.

Honestly, people expect too much of others. Or maybe it’s just me. She sighs all the time and can’t seem to say what’s on her mind. She’s so complicated! I need to give her some veritrisium just for her to tell/ask me if I’d like to go to the library with her!

I don’t think she gets how the whole “friendship” thing works.

Or, quite possibly, you are the thickest person to have ever lived.

Thicker than a thicket!

First of all: I’ll have you know that I got *ten* OWL’s! That’s genius level, that is!
Second: My cabbage metaphor was way better. [was not! You’re just jealous.]

ANYWAY, aside from homework piles threatening to fall over and girls in our year suddenly over-using the look, life has been quite normal.

What?! When have our lives ever been normal?! Life is getting dull, my friend – I propose we spice it up a bit!

Just a question: If this journal was just to be used mainly for ranting [about the cruelty of pre-friend Lily Evans] and you’re her friend now, then why are you still using it?

... Mr. Prongs concurs, Mr. Padfoot. He proposes we hang Mr. Moony by his skinny little ankles for questioning the sanity of the more than sane Messrs. Prongs and Padfoot and for voiced blasphemy against The Journal.

Mr. Padfoot, although agreeing that hanging Mr. Moony by his skinny little ankles would be thoroughly amusing, instead proposes to wreak havoc in the Common Room. With midterms approaching, too many students have become too uptight for Mr. Padfoot’s taste.

One, stop trying to sound smart. You both sound like idiots. Two, I’ll have you know that my ankles are NOT skinny and that my feet are just a *smidge*above average size.

*coughthreesizesbiggerthanaveragecough* Exactly.



No comments from Sirius? Just three little dots? What is this!?!?!

Ah, did you miss me?


… What’s “lurve” mean, Moony?

I know, seriously! [pun completely intended] Who says “lurve”?

What?! But-you-I-argh! Prongs, just write.

Fine, fine!

Today was, in all essence, somewhat pointless. That’s a lot coming from me; most of the time I follow the “No time like the present!” motto. Today, however, I was completely bored out of my mind.

I think the lovely Ms. Evans was too; she was focusing so hard on the back of my head I had to check to make sure there wasn’t a hole there.Wait… okay, there isn’t.

…… she’s doing it right now. I feel slightly uncomfortable… and no, it’s not guilt from writing in The Journal during class. [History of Magic – no one cares about it anyway] I’m not sure why Professor Binns thinks teaching is best when no information can sink into your brain; maybe he’s trying to make us stupider! Maybe he’s a spy from Voldemort! CORRUPTING THE INNOCENT! WE MUST REBEL AGAIN THE GHOST-TRAITOR!

… bah, maybe later. I’m too drowsy write now. Even my usual wit and satire isn’t up to par.


… I think my brain imploded during class and nobody noticed. We need to remind someone to go clean it up. Moony will do.

I’m not your maid!



You’re serious??


Ha, no you’re not; I am!


I think Mrs. Black was on drugs or something when she named Sirius. Who in their right mind would do that? The pun has been over-used since forever!


All right, I’m starting to get nervous now. The first Hogsmeade trip of the year is coming up, and I don’t know what to do!

Aw, ickle Prongsiekins is all nervous about wittle Wily Wevans.


Prongs, it’s two in the morning. We have transfiguration as our first class of the day. YOU NEED TO GO TO SLEEP!

Pff, The Journal is more important than a petty thing like sleep!

Just don’t blame me when you miss breakfast.

Padfoot, in all my seven years of schooling here, I have never missed one single breakfast. Okay, maybe two or three or twenty, but that was only because of reasons beyond my control.

Like when I blew up your alarm clock?


ANYWAY, someone help me! I only have a week to go and I don’t know if I should ask Lily to go to Hogsmeade with me. I know she’ll say yes by now, but I don’t want to jeopardize all the hard work I’ve done. [Some might not think so, but being deprived of sweet, sweet lettuce for a whole entire week is torture]

I think I will. Won’t. No, I won’t; I can’t! YES I CAN! I SHOULD TOO! No, no I shouldn’t… yes I should!

ARGH! I’M ARGUING WITH MYSELF! ON PAPER! How sad is that? Most people stick to only their minds for internal arguments. I feel stupid.

You're stupid, but you’re good-looking, so we’re still friends with you.

Glad to know that looks are everything.


They should make an edible type of tree. I would so eat one.


Err… how am I supposed to respond to that? I’m just going to assume I’m not supposed to…

All right. Today. After class. I will ask Lily if she wants to go on a date with me.

But only if I finish my homework!


Gasp! Moony, yelling? It’s unheard of! Gasp gasp gasp! I think I shall die of gasping! Gasp!

Do shut up.


Fine. All right, class ends in five minutes. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!? The Hogsmeade trip is in THREE DAYS!

Uh oh. What if she already has a date? What if she’d rather go with someone else? What if…. Or…. ARGH!!!!!!!!

Can I choose death? I think that would be best right about now.

Prongs… the bell just rang.

Okay. I’m going.


Way to build dramatic tension, Prongs.

I thought it was quite effective.

I bet nine sickles and a dungbomb that Evans already has a date.

As much as I frown upon gambling…. Seven sickles, a Honeydukes chocolate bar, and an extra copy of my History of Magic notes that she’s been denying guys all week, waiting for Prongs to ask her.

Should I be rethinking this bet? You seem awfully confident…

No turning back now! Oh, and you better be ready to pay up; I need to buy a new quill.


She… said…

Just spit it out already, man!

Prongs, whatever she said, we’ll be here. And the first thing you should know is that you had an ink stain on your nose the whole time you were asking her out.

CRAP! ARGH! Are you serious? [no pun intended – DON’T COMMENT SIRIUS!] Lemme go wash it off…


Why don’t we just talk to each other? Doesn’t writing it out give Prongs extra time to build up the aforementioned Dramatic Tension?

We’ll buy a Quick-Quotes quill in Hogsmeade, okay? NOW TELL US WHAT SHE SAID, JAMES!

I’m glad you guys care so much, but she said----------

CRAP! INK STAIN! Sorry, where was I?


Sirius, calm down! I’m assuming she said no then, James?

Actually, she didn’t say anything. She just sort of blinked in a dazed way, and when she didn’t respond when I poked her, I left her there.


I’m kidding!

… okay, no I’m not. That’s what happened, and now I don’t know if she wants to go or not!

So ask her, idiot!

All right, either you two took wonky potions that make you care a lot about my well-being, or you’re betting on the outcome of this date.

James, I’m insulted! Do you really think I, Remus J. Lupin, would sink so low as to gamble on your love life?

How could you think such a thing? What happened to loyalty? Are you doubting the caring-ness of your best friends?

Yes, yes I am. So what are the stakes?

Remus has to jump in the lake naked.


No turning back now, Moony!

What if YOU lose?

Then I have to eat your chocolate bar.


As good as it is to know you guys CARE so much, GO ARGUE SOMEWHERE ELSE. Preferably somewhere where I can’t hear/see you.

I’m going to go poke Lily. Maybe she’s woken up by now.


He really is quite good at building Dramatic Tension. We should give him a trophy.

Or a Cauldron Cake.

Do you just keep a few of every item in Honeydukes with you at all times or something?

… no. That would be weird.





After much poking and bothering and hand waving in front of facing, Lily finally realized she was in the common room and not the hallway anymore. [People have the habit of moving without realizing it] She seemed to be pretending like I hadn’t asked her, like she thought it was a dream or something.

So I went along with it.

Me: Honestly, you can only get so many types of cheeses before you realize that you have one cheese too many.
Lily: Some people are just weird like that, James. Even weirder people collect dead fish and put them on top of their mantles, James.
Me: Wouldn’t that get smelly?
Lily: I guess they don’t mind the smell, James.

It got kind of unnerving to have her saying my name at the end of each of her sentences. I pointed it out, to which she responded by completely ignoring me and going on with the conversation.

I think her brain imploded too.

I really, really, really needed to know if she wanted to go or not though, so after dinner, I asked her again.

Lily: And so, you see, some people hunt for fun and consider animal heads as trophies, James.
Me: But… but… they’re killing my brethren!
Lily: Unless you want to get into a huge Muggle/Magical government mess, I don’t think-
Me: Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?

Again, she stopped and blinked. After pinching herself, pinching me, pinching some random first year, she seemed to realize that It Wasn’t A Dream and…


She said yes. I’m going on a date with Lily Evans.



What?!?! You’re the one who bet she would say no!

The lake isn’t going to wait forever, Moony!




Fine, be a sore loser!

I’m the sore loser?!?

So you admit it!

You know what, I think I’ll just PUSH you into the lake.

Whatever makes you feel like you won, Sore Loser. You’re just jealous.

Of what?

Of me. I have a normal sized nose, normal sized feet, and I won the bet. I’m very jealousable.

Let’s just forget the bet. Pumpkin Pasty?


A/N: HI!!!! Sorry to the millionth power for taking FOREVER to update! I know I've probably lost half my readers by now! T-T Damn that laziness! Okay, to make it up to you guys, I'm going to try to get in another chapter before school starts! And school starts on the 23rd of August for me, so that's pretty quick as far as I go! Ima gonna be in HIGH SCHOOL! Be excited for me! *gives everyone cookies to give back to me*

I'm not quite sure this chapter was up to par, but I figure you guys are about to stab your screens from waiting so long, so here you go!

Until my next update, ~bluecow out. ^_^

A/N2: I've noticed in my reviews for this chapter [PRAISE THE MODS FOR SPEED!] that you guys liked the edible tree thing. ^_^ I'm proud to notice that I'm writing a humor story that's not completely random, but thought that one random line would be okay, since nothing else is. Don't worry, I won't start adding flying pink hippos and an all-powerful Lily... as much as I would like to. *daydreams about rainbows and butterflies and how James is really just misunderstood*

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