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November 16, 1977.

Dear journal,

All my life I’ve been the chubby one. The one who’s not as handsome or funny or talented or cool or anything. I’m always the fat kid who’s FRIENDS with those people. Why me? Why can’t I have James quidditch talent and hair? Why can’t I have Sirius’ luck with the ladies and his muscle? Why can’t I have Remus’ ability to be friends with all the girls and smart’s? Why am I just Peter Pettigrew? I’m the one who turns into a rat… a bloody rat while Sirius and James turn into a dog and a stag. Remus doesn’t count really but I mean, there’s nothing special about me! One time, some girl; I think her name was Nitya Pramada said I was as close to a squib without actually being one after I accidentally did the wrong spell when I was trying to help her pick up her books. I don’t like her much. She’s with some Patil guy.

But that’s really not the point is it now? My… friends fancy me to be stupid and worthless but I’ll… I’ll show them. Yes, I will show them someday that I am not just Peter Ignatius Pettigrew. Well, I suppose that all these years that I’ve been friends with James, Remus, and Sirius have helped me. Even though they make fun of me and I’m sort of the odd one out in the group, they watch out for me; James surprisingly enough does the most. When I get picked on by the Slytherin’s (that won’t be happening again) James somehow came up behind me and cursed all of them in a matter of seconds. He got two weeks of detention for that because he permanently messed up Michael Parkinson’s face. Now he looks like a smoosh-faced dog. Madame Pomfrey said it was going to be hereditary. I feel bad for the poor kid who is his child. They always did help me with my homework when I needed help as well… and Sirius always fixes me up on dates for dances or Hogsmeade. I suppose they have done me quite well but with my new friends, I will get more than just power in school; I will get power over the whole Wizarding world and soon enough, the muggle world as well.

I still have to make my decision and this diary is really only a one time thing. I needed to collect myself. I needed to tell someone about what I was doing. The thing I plan on doing is so bad. It’s so bad. It would kill my poor mother if she found out what I was planning. My mother, Caroline, is a goody sort of woman I guess. During school, she was not the top student but she was high up there. She’s always taught me to be good and when the war started, she made sure to get it through my “thick skull” as Sirius would say that I was to stay close to my friends during school and follow their example. She absolutely loved the Marauders. I once thought she liked them better than me. She never really wanted me to be quite myself. But my mother spoiled me rotten. Since my father died when I was barely six years old, she used the money he left to buy me what I needed. Even though the things she got me weren’t high quality, they were good enough. She always protected me well too. I didn’t know much about anything bad until I came to school when we learned about all the wars and stuff from Professor Binns in History of Magic. I was a sheltered kid.

These… friends that I may get, they’ll do what my mum did too and what James and the others did. But it’ll be different this time. They won’t make fun of me. They won’t treat me like I’m under them. They won’t have me tagging along behind them. I know they won’t. I just know it. Maybe they’ll… they’ll make me stronger. Or maybe they’ll change me somehow and then I could show the guys whose boss, I could show the marauders that talentless, chubby, stupid Peter Pettigrew can do anything they can do even better.

The Marauders have been my friends since first year on the train ride coming to school. The Slytherin’s were picking on me about my hair and Sirius and James came up and beat them up. Then they took me to a compartment where we met Remus. He was reading in the corner of the compartment and then we all started talking and that’s when we became friends. Then in our second year, we found out Remus was a werewolf. Well, at least James did. I had no idea, it was such a surprise! Anyway, we ended up becoming animagi. I was the lucky one who became a rat. A RAT. Why would I be a rat? There are no “rat” qualities in me. James always steps on my tail and Sirius always runs into me. It’s not fun at all.

Severus Snape said to me that I can get them all back. I can get my revenge I guess but I’m not sure. What if they don’t turn like I though they would? What if they stay with Dumbledore and fight against me? I can’t go against them. Their top people in my class. I’m second to last. But if I join them, I think that maybe I’ll be powerful someday. Someday I’ll be able to tell James, Remus, and Sirius what to do; how I want things. I can tell them what pranks and stuff I want to do and I can… I can take charge for once. Then they’ll be laughing at all MY jokes. Then they’ll be praising wherever I walk or whatever I say. I’ll show them whose boss I will. I’ll be calling the shots soon enough.

Peter Pettigrew, uncertain servant of the dark lord.

A/N: Now this chapter was the hardest one to write. Now Peter was to me a power hungry two timer. I think that if it meant giving his own mother up to get power, he would do it. That’s why the last line is a very obvious thing. If you have read HBP, you’ll find that Stan Shunpike likes to be associated with big names. As does Peter. ENJOY!


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