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The Mysteries of the Weasley Loo


“Ginny!” Hermione screamed shrilly. She backed against the far wall of the Weasley’s bathroom and whipped her towel in the air frantically.

The redhead walked slowly out of her bedroom, yawning. “Yeah?” She leaned against the doorframe lazily. Ginny came to see Hermione staring wide-eyed at the thing on the floor.

“What. Is. That?” Hermione pointed a finger at the off-white plastic object. One end was triangular, while the other was rounded. There were three holes set in the middle.

Ginny glanced at the floor to see one of her brothers’ sports cups haphazardly tossed on the floor. At the sight, the redhead burst into laughter. A grin spread across Hermione’s face and soon she had joined her friend.

“That’s so disgusting!” Hermione shrieked, after Ginny had told her. A headache was beginning to form, due to lack of air. “What are we supposed to do with it? Maybe—”

“No! No! Wait!” Ginny ran from the room, leaving Hermione alone with the cup.

Ginny returned carrying a plastic bag and glove, ready to move the disgusting, yet highly amusing object.

Instead of placing the cup directly into the bag, Ginny held it to Hermione’s face.

Hermione screeched, shoving her friend’s hand away.

Surprised, the cup flew out of Ginny’s hand…And landed directly in the loo.

Both girls stared at the floating object in grotesque wonder.

“So how’re we supposed to get it out?” Hermione whispered nervously.

“I don’t know,” Ginny whispered back.

“Why are we whispering?” Hermione hissed, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

“It might hear us.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “What?” she asked, her voice returning to normal.

Ginny’s eyes were wide when she replied. “Look at the holes on it…It’s got—” She took another look at it, “eyes or something…”

The two girls began laughing again.

“Girls? Are you two all right in there?” they heard Mrs. Weasley call from downstairs.

Ginny turned and looked to the door. “We’re fine, Mum!” Ginny yelled, containing her laughter for a moment.

“All right! Thank you, dear!”

When Ginny turned back around, she saw Hermione reaching into the loo with the plastic glove on. The brunette’s eyes were squeezed shut in disgust as she searched blindly for the cup.

“EW! My hand is in the water!” Hermione squealed. Ginny stared, open-mouthed, as her friend sloshed around in the toilet bowl. “Aha! Got it!” Hermione shouted out in triumph.

“Got what?” a voice from the doorway asked.

Both girls looked to see Ron standing there, with a surprised look on his face.

Hermione had just yanked the dripping cup from the toilet, holding it aloft in her gloved hand. She covered her mouth with her free hand, trying not to giggle.

“Is that my—You didn’t—I left it out on the—Oh, bloody hell…” Ron sputtered, staring. “Well!” he said, after a long pause. “This is sufficiently awkward…”

“Why am I still holding this?” Hermione wondered aloud. She grimaced. “Ugh. Here, Ron.” Hermione said, tossing the cup at him.

“Hey Ron, what’s going on in th—ARGH!” Harry yelped, as something hard and wet smacked him in the face. With Seeker-like swiftness, Harry reached out to grab the falling object before it hit the ground. The moment he realized what he’d caught, Harry instantly regretted his decision. In his open palms lay Ron’s cup. Letting out a startled yell, he tossed it in the air.

Fred and George Apparated to the scene, arriving at the bathroom. When they saw the cup fly from Harry’s outstretched hands, they both ducked and saw it soar over their heads.

Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Harry, and the twins watched the cup in horror as it flew down the main staircase.

“Could this get any worse?” Ron moaned.

Down in the kitchen, Mrs. Weasley had just finished the evening meal. “Everyone, time for supper! What — ACK!”

They all exchanged scared looks.

“RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!” Mrs. Weasley bellowed from downstairs.

The six adolescents rushed down the stairs, with Ron at the front.

“Yes, Mum?” he inquired nervously.

Mrs. Weasley thrust the tomato sauce-covered cup at her son. Her voice took on a sharp edge. “How many times have I told you not to leave your cup lying around?”

Ron flinched. “Won’t happen again, Mum. I promise.”

“It better not!” she exclaimed, frowning.

Ginny tapped her mother on the shoulder lightly.

“Yes, dear?” Mrs. Weasley said more loudly than she’d intended, still upset over her ruined sauce.

“Shhhh,” Ginny whispered, eyeing the cup warily, “it might hear you…”

-FIN-

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