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    As much as I would like to say things got better I couldn’t. The truth is things only got worse. I would have memory “blocks” so to speak. Sometimes I would suddenly find myself in my dorm, when the moment before that I could remember I was in the middle of class. Sometimes I would find mysterious objects on or around me when I woke up. One day I woke up to loads of feathers all down the front of my shirt. I had no idea why this was happening, let alone how. I was scared beyond belief. I rarely wrote to Tom anymore. Something about that diary gave me the creeps.

    Finally I decided I might as well tell someone about my strange and unexplainable behavior. I tried to tell Dakota, my one and only truest friend, but I got all tongue-tied and ended up running out of the room. No matter how much I tried I couldn’t get it out. I knew in my heart and my head exactly everything I wanted to say, but my voice and my conscience weren’t letting me. I had finally gotten so desperate that I decided I should try to tell Ron. After all he is family, and I talk to him about a lot of stuff. If you can’t trust family, then whom can you trust…right?

    I finally spotted him amongst the traffic of student is the great hall that evening. With my stomach doing cartwheels and my hands sweating like mad, I slowly approached where he was sitting. I sat there for sometime, just biting my lip and wringing my hands.

    “What’s up?” Ron asked me calmly. But I couldn’t reply. I just sat there constantly looking up and down the table, sweat running down my face every second. I sat in fear that someone might overhear me and escort me off to a mental institute in a far off land.

    “Hello? Ginny? Spit it out already!” Ron said growing impatient. I began to rock helplessly on the end of the bench, trying to find something to say.

    “I need to tell you something.” I mumbled softly.

    “What is it?” Harry asked getting closer. I wanted to say something, I really did. But the truth is, I couldn’t. It was as if I had all of the sudden gone mute, and lost all my means of communication.
    “Hello!” Ron yelled. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It was the weirdest moment of my life.

    “Is something odd going on? Do you know something important?” Harry asked softly. Just as I was about to speak up, and let all my feelings loose, Percy walked up and scared me half to death. I jumped out of my chair and ran out of the hall. I am not sure why but I was frightened that he would turn me in, or worse tell my parents. Well one thing I knew was, that it looked like my secret would have to stay a secret for quite some time.

    The anxiety of holding my feelings in was beginning to get to me. I was very jumpy- well ok more than usual. I had this constant mindset that I was at any moment going to be whisked away to St. Mungo’s to live with the mentally impaired. Dakota was taking notice of my strange behavior and, like any best friend would, confronted me about it. “Ginny?” Dakota asked quietly as she approached me in the common room. I jumped at the sound of my name and turned around quickly.

    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Can I ask you something?” she asked hesitantly. I noticed a tinge of something I had never heard in her voice before; I heard fear. This was when I knew I lost it. I was scaring my best friend in the universe, the only one who cares for and understands me. I had failed her.

    “Sure D, fire away,” I said reluctantly.

    “Ok, well I have noticed that you have been behaving, well, oddly lately. I was just wondering if something was wrong. Because if there is, you know I’m here for you. You know that Ginn, don’t you?” she said tears starting to form in her eyes.

    “Ya, D, I know. Don’t worry…everything is fine. I will always tell you everything. You’re my best friend D, and nothing will ever change that, ever.” I pulled her in for a big bear hug. This act only broke my heart more. Now, not only had I scared my best friend, but I had also lied, to her face, intentionally.
    All of these mixed emotions made me so upset with myself. I felt as if I was sinking lower and lower into the quicksand of confusion and insanity. More than anything, at that moment, I wanted to surrender my very being to the depths of my sorrow; become engulfed in a sea of emotions.

    Right then and there I decided something must be done to solve my horrible problem. The only option in sight at that moment was one tucked back inside the tangled mass of my insanity. I would have to dispose of the problem. Not the diary, not Tom, but me. My only true weakness that was unknown to others besides my family and Dakota was my inability to swim. Slightly mad and dazed I made my way out of the castle and towards the lake. The cold breeze of the water sprayed upon my face and mixed with the salty tears breaking the surface. I reached the edge and took my position at the water front. There was no time to say my goodbyes or thank-you’s. It was now or never.

    “GINNY!!!!!” I heard someone scream from far away. I turned around to find Dakota sprinting up behind me. Tears were now obscuring my vision and I wanted more than anything to plunge into the cold, wet darkness. She was just about to reach me when I ran off towards the castle. It pained me so very much to do this to her, but I couldn’t risk letting my secret out, even if it was my greatest companion. Gasping for air and running my heart out, I finally reached the safety of my dorm bed. Feeling defeated and utterly puzzled, I threw the blankets over my head and hoped to never come out of that dorm again. Little did I know, that in a few short hours, Tom was going to help a great deal with achieving the task that I was unable to complete at the lake.

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