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None of these characters, except Eva, belong to me. All rights go to JK Rowling. The song used in here belongs to Mandy Moore. The song title is Cry. This is an Eva/Sirius story. It is an AU from Don't Let Me Fall. Please enjoy this. If you think it's stupid, please let me know. Please tell me what you think about it. Thank you ~Yiva ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forever
I'll always remember It was late afternoon It lasted forever And ended too soon You were all by yourself Staring up at a dark gray sky I was changed In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry The moment that I saw you cry It was late in September And I've seen you before (and you were) You were always the cold one But I was never that sure You were all by yourself Staring at a dark gray sky I was changed In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry I wanted to hold you I wanted to make it go away I wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything, all right.... I'll always remember... It was late afternoon... In places no one would find... In places no one would find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside) It was then that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry
I'll always remember the first time I fell in 'love.' I was fifteen. I thought she loved me too, she told me she did. Then, she went and broke my heart by making out with Amos Diggory on the train bringing us to sixth year. My whole world crashed in around me. Well, James tried to help, but he was so armored in Plan, Get Lily, which I affectionly referred to as Prongsie Loves Lily. I was much to depressed to eat. Especially since I had to watch my Tawnya, my beautiful Tawnya swapping spit with the stuck up prat in the table in front of me. So, I snuck out. I honestly didn't care if anyone saw me leave, but I really was in no mood for people. I didn't even have enough heart to watch our prank go off, James even rigged up a special part of it to go off on Amos and that lying skank Tawnya. I wished I was dead, and I wondered if she'd feel bad about it. Probably not. So as I climbed the stairs up to Gryffindor I plotted ways to make it look like an 'accident.' You know, falling out of the Astronomy Tower, things like that. By the time I reached the common room door I had planned seven hundred and thirty-six ways to die. I hoped the common room would be empty. Of course since this was my wishing, it wasn't. A six year, like me, no name was sitting in one of the chairs. Eva Bruge. Eva was, the all around good girl. She was nice, and tried to help everyone she could. Teachers and adults everywhere adored her. She was just that great. Of course, half of the student body thought she was a freak, myself included. Lily liked her, though. Lily liked anyone, though, well except for James.... "Are you okay?" She looked scared. I didn't even bother to wonder what could have happened to her that she was up there during the feast, "Yeah." I brushed her off. Well, like I said, that was at the beginning of sixth year, by Christmas I was over Tawnya, and was back in the pranking spirit. Everything was going great for me by the time seventh year came on by. I was living with James and his parents, and James was head boy, don't ask how that happened. James, being the kind of head boy I was sure he was going to be, would let me pull as many pranks as I wanted, and I was sure I could coast through the school year. Right, I mean that's what you'd let your best friend do too, right? Wrong. No, the teachers had other plans for me, like school work. I shutter at the words. Well, I'm pretty good at school, if I do say so myself, so I wasn't that worried about my grades, but by the second week I was down to a 5 out of a 90 in Professor Slughorn's class. "I suggest you get tutoring." He told me. "Lily Evans is especially good with helping others." "I can't do that!" I was aghast, "She's going out with my best friend." "The more reason to help you, I'm sure, but if you're so against her, Eva Bruge is another exceptionally good student." "But-" "Good day, Mr. Black." So I had to find Lily. She was at our table, discussing something with James. "Lily, hey, Lily!" "What, Sirius?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "Do you know where I can find Eva?" I whispered, making sure no one but Lily could hear me. "No, why," Lily said, "wait! Actually she could be in the hospital wing. Why?" "Ah, never mind." "Okay." Later that evening while everyone was at dinner, I found Eva in the common room. Making sure no one was around I walked over to her. "Uh, hi, Eva." "What do you want, Black?" Eva knew something was up. So I explained my dilemma and she agreed to help me. We'd meet every day during dinner time at the dungeons. The plan went off perfectly wonderful. Eva was pretty fun to hang around with, and her laughter reminded me of tinkling bells, and the whole cavernous room seemed to light up when she laughed. My friends wondered what was up with my newly found happiness, I think they all might have figured it out, but they weren't going to say anything. I got my own stupid self in trouble, and I ended up hurting someone who didn't deserve to be hurt. It all happened a week before the American's holiday, Thanksgiving. "Hey, Sirius. I can't make it tonight. Okay?" Eva smiled brightly at me. I wish my heart would've started speaking, instead of my mind. Why did she have to tell me right in front of my friends? "Make it where?" I asked in my best, what are you doing talking to me, I am so much better than you, voice. Eva looked hurt and what I would've given anything to take it back. Her look of hurt vanished and changed into one of disgust, "You know, I thought I saw something in you, something good. Now I know I was horribly, terribly wrong." She walked away without a glance back. James and Remus looked a bit uncomfortable and Peter, the suck-up, just looked at her with disgust; as if to say how dare she talk to you. Well without Eva's help, I wasn't doing so hot in Potions, and my mood wasn't the best either. I wasn't even in the mood to prank the Slytherins! Oh woe is me! Those are sad days, when I can't even prank a Slytherin. Professor Slughorn offered me a chance, and I wasn't about to turn down a chance to, improve my grade, and get Eva back. Good ol' Sluggy placed us in groups, and the good old man put me with Eva. It was all I could do to hide my pleasure. Eva, though, looked sick. Now, I tried, I walked over with a cheerful, hopeful look. "So, what are we making today?" "It's on the board." "Oh. What'll we need?" "On the board." Eva said in a bored tone. "Right." So the silence was uncomfortable, for me at least. "Are you going to visit Marc Atoms this evening? I hear he broke his collar bone in a broom acc-" "Why would I? I haven't met Marc, ever." "Why? Because you're Eva. It's what you do." "Please, Sirius, don't pretend you know me. You, better than anyone, should know how that feels." "I do know you, though." "Oh, please, tell me what you think." "You are Eva Bruge. You like to: read, write, and to volunteer to help others. You are an adult's dream child. You have been in ALL of my classes since first year. You are not from England, originally. At least, your accent doesn't sound like it. You're quiet, and oh, half of the student population thinks you are a total freak. I used too." "That sounds....fairly familiar. Oh yeah, that's because it's the riot Lily reads me when I get bummed out and feel like I can't go on anymore. Well most of it anyway. She usually leaves out the part about me not being from England, and she doesn't tell me everyone thinks I'm a freak. Thanks, by the way." "You just don't care do you?" "About? What others think? No. It's a waste of my precious time. I'd rather LIVE than worry about the way I do." "That's a very enlightening theory." "Thank you. Now, can we please get to work? I'd like to have something left of the day by the time we finish this." So we went to work. After that conversation I didn't try to talk anymore, I was thinking about what she said. What did she mean? All week, as we split into our groups of two the conversation played over in my mind. "Eva?" I called down the hall. Eva turned, looking slightly impressed, "You're talking to me in public! Aren't you worried someone might see?" She asked this in mock worry. "I couldn't care less. You're right, it's high time I quit worrying about what everyone thinks. All that matters is I think I'd like to be your friend, if you can forgive me?" Eva smiled, a real smile, a smile that seemed to radiate light. "That, I can do." I smiled in relief. So we were friends. Soon we were more. By the time Christmas rolled up, I loved her. I loved her with every bone in my body. I loved her with my whole being. The thing was, did she love me? It was the day before Christmas break, Eva was going home. It was tonight, I'd decided. I'd tell her tonight. Maybe I'd introduce it with another wonderful story about a prank I pulled. "....and they couldn't get the whipped cream out of their hair for a week." "Oh, Sirius, you're too much! I love that about you." Eva giggled. "Do you? Love me, I mean?" I asked in all seriousness, "Because, Eva, I love you." "No! No, you can't, you don't. No please tell me you don't." Eva cried. "You mean, you don't love me," It was a statement, not a question. "It's not that it's just- Oh, Sirius, how could you? Sirius, you can't love me!" "Oh, Eva, I do though, I can't help it!" "Sirius, you can't, because- because, I'm dying. And I was just fine with it! I'd made my peace! Then you happened! I do not need another reason to be angry with life. I'm so sorry!" Eva ran away. I sat down on the cold, hard ground, I was stunned. I must have stumbled into the common room, drunk as could be, at four in the morning. My friends, though, they were still up. "Sirius, what happened? Did you and Eva have a fight? Are you okay?" James spit the questions out, like one would fire a gun. At that moment, I wished they were bullets, so I could just die. "Eva's- Eva's dying." James stepped forward, and I sobbed on my brother's shoulder. Eva left the next morning without saying good-bye. I needed to talk to her, though, let her know I wasn't planning on leaving. Two weeks later, when everyone was back Eva, was still avoiding me. So, I got an idea that Lily could help me, after all, she was Lily. "Lily, I have a question and a favor to ask of you." I told her. "Okay?" Lily looked at me with such sympathy, she had known since Eva was diagnosed with her disease. She'd been diagnosed at the beginning of this year, maybe that's why she wasn't at the feast again. She said she hadn't been feeling well at sixth year, but.... "Well, I was wondering, could you please just tell, Eva, I'm not going anywhere?" "Yeah, okay, Sirius." "Thank you." I walked away. Later that evening as I studied in my room while everyone else was out, I looked up to find Eva standing in my doorway. "Did you mean it?" She whispered. "Did I mean what?" I asked urgently. "Did you mean you weren't going anywhere, and that you loved me?" She asked her voice trembling. "With my very soul." I confirmed as I walked the length of the room to where she was standing. "Oh Sirius! I love you!" She cried and threw her arms around me. I kissed her. The first time I ever kissed her. "Are you scared?" I asked her as we walked down the steps seconds later. "Too death," Eva smiled faintly. "Eva, please, just please don't." "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I am too." Eva was admitted to the hospital wing shortly after Easter Holiday. I spent so much time there that Dumbledore said I'd end up there, as a patient. "Eva, will you do something for me, I mean if you can?" I asked her one evening as she did her homework. "If I can." She agreed. Eva died the day before I graduated from Hogwarts. I'd been at a party, she'd insisted I went. Maybe that was because she- she knew it was the end. Eva looked so peaceful in her coffin. The day we buried her, it was cold and rainy, but she seemed to glow with her, ever light, smile still playing on her lips. She wore her Gryffindor robes, that's what she had requested to be buried in. She had a chain heart around her neck, a ring attached to it. Eva was buried: Eva Lynn Bruge-Black. I was the last to leave the cemetery, her family left, her mother sobbing into a Kleenex, her brothers stoically staring straight ahead. I hadn't shed a single tear since the day she told me, when I had cried on James' shoulder. Not in public, anyway. I did so now, with no one there to see me. I cried as if I could never stop. I laid down next to the cold stone and sobbed buckets. I remembered something she said, then. Something she had said in confidence of the silence and dark of the hospital wing. "I finally realized forever was in your eyes, Sirius Black, when you started to cry." Her own voice was coated with tears. It had been all I could do not to cry. But, I hadn't known, she knew about the tears. I thought no one had seen me, but Eva always knew. Always. I scratched my face, as I wiped my hand over my eyes, with the ring Eva had given me. I looked at it closly the only real thing I had left of her. Engraved on the ring was one word:forever. I suddenly understood what it meant. It meant she'd be with me forever. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, maybe that was stupid, AND Pathetic. But, please tell me what you think. I just had the urge to write it one day. Nothing belongs to me, except Eva. The song is Cry by Mandy Moore. ~Yiva

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